Welcome To The Caribbean, Love ~ Updated 5-27 P52

[TarzansKat]

Dory: He says, "It's time to let go!". Everything's going to be all right!
Marlin: How do you know, how do you know something bad isn't gonna happen?!
Dory: I don't!


How Do I Know Everything's Going To Be All Right?

Introductions

The Details

It's Time For a Little Levity

These Little Wonders

KOTS

A Very Merry Unbirthday...To ME!!!

I Don't Want To, But I Know I Have To

Food For Thought

This Is What Happens When I Try To Stay On Top Of Things

Simplify

Happy Halloween!

Chef Mickey's

Christmas

"My Name's Forrest, Forrest Gump."

Conflicted

May Day, May Day!

The Quickest Update Ever

Rough Waters Ahead

A Little Levity - Part Two

Dear Mom

Who Wants To Talk About My Trip?

You Know You're Super Relaxed About Your Disney Trip When...

To Make A Long Story Short

You Know You've Brought Your Husband Over To The DIS Side When...

The Power of Pixie Dust and Positive Precognitive Proliferations

Happy Valentine's Day!

I...Was...Running...

Welcome To The Den O' Sick

Talk About Saving the Best for Last

Favorite Memories - Nana

Favorite Memory - MJS

Favorite Moment - Nemo

Favorite Memory - Squirt

Meeska Mouska Mickey Mouse!

One Last Hurdle

I Have Never Been...

Progress!

Sparrow Me The Drama

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me

I'll Be Surprised If...

Ah, The Beauty of Progress

My Sanity Has A Price

This May Very Well Be...

[Tinkerbellarella]

Fiiiiiirst!!!!!

Ahem.

Just sayin'.

[TarzansKat]

There was no doubt.

[Tinkerbellarella]

And given my love of Dory, both fish and my feline, I'm likin' the quote you started with.

[SadieDog]

[TarzansKat]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella

And given my love of Dory, both fish and my feline, I'm likin' the quote you started with.

Originally Posted by SadieDog

Happy you're here.

[MRYPPNS]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbellarella

Fiiiiiirst!!!!!

Ahem.

Just sayin'.

She probably called you to let you know it was going up

I'm looking forward to the details........

[Lady Lallie]

I'm here! I'm excited!!

Spill!

[TarzansKat]

I don't.

And that's the short answer. The long answer is this.

Hi. For those of you who don't know me, I'm TarzansKat. Also known as TK, also known as Kat, also known as Tinkerbellarella's long lost DIS twin. Just judging by the sheer amount of names I have, I think it would be safe to say I fill a lot of roles.

Wife. Mother.

But the role that I most want to talk about today, the role that I most need you all to understand is daughter.

I lost my mother suddenly in April. I would have to say it has been one of the most defining events, if not the most defining event of my life. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will change you like losing a parent.

And that's what it is. A terrible, terrible loss. And it's colored my whole perception of everything. Of how I want to live my life. How I want to raise my children. How I want to treat my friends and those I come in to contact with, and in return, how I want to be treated.

If having children will shift your priorities, losing a parent will do it as well, but in a wholly different way.

And that's what my mother's death has done. It has wholly shifted my priorities. I am strong enough to realize that what I had to endure, what my sister, my father, and my grandmother and I had to endure in the last few days, the decisions to be made, the realizations we all had, the emotional places we had to go to, are something that have changed me for the better. But the price, oh my god, the price. To have to lose my mother in order to understand what's really important. God. I still want to know why, and I'll never know.

I'll never know why the world keeps turning without that brilliant, vital spirit in it. And I know that in some way, she's still here. She's with me when I put Nemo on the bus to kindergarten. She's with me when Squirt smiles and laughs for the first time. She's with me as I write this post, and she's whispering in my ear, telling me that it's okay.

It's okay to let go.

So I did.

I booked a trip. And that was really the first step.

Disney is something that my mother gave to me. She instilled this love, this tradition, and I'll get into it more in the coming posts. This will be just as much a pre trip report as it will a tribute to my mother, who gave me values and traditions that I want to give to my children. There was a grace and dignity about her that I can only hope to emulate.

She was not just my mother, she was my best friend. And she's gone. She's gone even though I just had a baby, she's gone even though my five year old is going to kindergarten, she's gone even though Disney World is still there.

Can you believe that? That it's still there without her in it?

There was a time when I couldn't fathom when I'd go again, when I didn't want to go again.

And then, my dear friend Tink, as I like to call her, decided to honor my mother by running the Princess 1/2 marathon in February. And I told my husband, I have to go. I don't care how it happens, but I have to go. She's running for my mom, and for herself. And let me tell you, if my mother was still here, she would have been the first person to book a trip for us to watch Tink cross that finish line.

So really, then it became, could I go?

And initially when I booked the trip, I wasn't excited about it. At. All.

And then the next day Tink came over for a visit and to see the baby for the first time, and we talked, and I had a faint tiny glimmer of that excitement that's part of planning a Disney trip.

And since then, as I've thought about it more, it's grown and grown.

Because the simple fact of the matter is that I think about Mom all the time. I think about her every day.

And being at home or being in Disney World is not going to change that. So why not be in Disney World, and think about her there? In a place she loved. In a place, quite frankly, that was her happy place.

So, it's time to let go. And I don't know if it'll be all right.

But we're going to try.

[TarzansKat]

Originally Posted by MRYPPNS

She probably called you to let you know it was going up

There may have been some hinting.

I'm looking forward to the details........

Just posted.

Originally Posted by Lady Lallie

I'm here! I'm excited!!

Spill!

YAY!

[Lady Lallie]

I'm really going to have to make sure that I have tissues nearby when I read this. Sniff Sniff.

You are so brave, Kat. I don't know how you have managed to keep going but you are very inspiring to me.

[SadieDog]

Wow, that was excellent reading. It brought tears to my eyes.

[creativeamanda]

There will only be one first. But I can't think of a better reason for this to be your first trip back. I'm not sure how easy or hard it will be for you. I certainly won't promise you that you won't think of her every minute while you are there. My mom has been gone for 8 years and not a day goes by that I don't want to call her. And half the days I actually move in the direction to call her.

I will promise this: you will see her throughout Disney. Sometimes it will be hard and sad and sometimes it will be joyous. But it will be.

And, my friend, I will be praying for you all along the way.

[LegoMom3]

Originally Posted by Lady Lallie

I'm really going to have to make sure that I have tissues nearby when I read this. Sniff Sniff.

You are so brave, Kat. I don't know how you have managed to keep going but you are very inspiring to me.

Originally Posted by SadieDog

Wow, that was excellent reading. It brought tears to my eyes.

Ditto! Wow, how often does a PTR do that?!

But I'm in. How could I not be?

.

[Charleston Princess]

Here!!! I will be back to read!