Has anyone ever complained about your kids at the parks?

[Beauty & the Best]

Originally Posted by fairestoneofall

and it completely cracks me up when those who do not have children give parenting advice.

Just because someone does not have children of thier own does not mean that they have no experience with children.

[2disneyboys]

DH & I refer to them as "magical meltdowns" and yes, we have seen children as well as adults experience them (I think I had 1 myself a few years ago)

Last year when we went for 8 days, on 1 day in particular my 6 year old was "driving the nerves" as I say @ home. When we were on this trip we had a routine RopeDrop - pool break mid afternoon - return to parks eve. Well my 6 year old was being annoying in line one day and I simply looked at him and said, "you know better than that, act your age. I say it again and you lose your pool time today" He immediatly stop and started acting right. (at our house, we don't make any threats that we are not going to follow through on 100%. There are other areas that I am probably more laid back than a lot of parents but this is a real stickler point for me!) anyway, about 10 mins later we got on the ride and when we got off, this lady that was standing near us complimented me on my son's behavior. She said something to the effect of she can tell my kids know that I say what I mean as the change in his behavior was instant and it stuck. My oldest son (9 @ the time) said "when my mom or dad say something they mean it and they don't mind missing fun just to prove it!" I got a good chuckle out of that one!

Both my kids act up at times and I understand and expect it. They are only kids afterall. I do my best to be aware of thier moods and take into account if something is influecing thier behavior, however, when we have the behavior problems, we address them as appropiate (the same way regardless of where we are) and move on from it. I guess it really annoys me because I have some friends & family that let thier kids just run wild in restaurants and other places and say something to the sort of "well we have just has much right to be here as they do" and to a point, they DO, but not to the point of being disruptive to others. We try & train our children into recoginizing that there is a place and a time for all sorts of behavior and they need to learn how to recoginze where that place is and when it is. DH & I do the best we can and I can honestly say that I love my boys but can acknoweledge that they are not perfect--but neither am I.

[Shleedogg]

My DD has definitely had meltdowns. She's only 22 mos, but has had a couple on our 5 trips. Honestly, most were our fault. We simply hadn't adjusted yet to Disney with a little one. Once we got the hang of it, she's been a dream. Always make sure we stay on a similar schedule to ours at home. She always gets an afternoon break for a nap, quiet time/pool time.

The biggest meltdown when we went in March when she was 16 mos was that she didn't want to ride in the stroller, she wanted us to hold her. Towards the end of the trip we were just too sore and tired, she had to ride. Boy oh boy did she scream. We were outside though so I felt no need to apologize to people. Maybe I should have?

If we have behavior issues this time, she will get one warning like she does at home, then we will leave whatever we are doing and she will get a time out. At home she hears that there's a time-out everywhere - home, grandma's, restaurants, the zoo, etc. Disney will be no different. However, those that get disgruntled about some crying in a line because it's hot, they've been waiting awhile I think need to take a chill pill. I would of course apologize to those around us and try to distract her, but remove from the line? No.

[onnawufei]

Regarding people without children giving parenting advice, there's some basic stuff you don't need kids to know. I have no problem saying "When in a restaurant, don't ignore your child's tantrum because you are possibly ruining other people's meals". But I wouldn't dream of telling anyone how to deal with their child because I don't know them, I don't know their child and all of that. Not having children doesn't mean we're completely clueless, we just might not have all the details worked out.

And grimley1968 (I absolutely love your name and icon by the way) that first story made me smile. Not because it ended up being a less than stellar experience for y'all, but that you actually cared enough to be willing to put yourselves second. After working retail and seeing how some people just ignore their children and let them do whatever they want, I really appreciate seeing people like you. I actually used to thank parents like you when I worked at Blockbuster. And I'd occasionally call my mom and thank her for not letting me get away with stuff when I was younger.

[mrbghd]

Originally Posted by Tink Mick Koda Miles

Yes, they are intentionally swinging the rope but a small child that is 2,3, even 4 does not think about it hitting someone. All they know is they are bored and this is fun. Thats just silly to think a baby would understand that. Now I don't think its right to swing it and I would def stop my child from doing it right away but a 2 yr old would not take that rope and swing it because he or she is intentionally trying to hit you

They are intentionally swinging the chain. If it hits someone it is the parent of the child's fault for letting them do it. It is not about what they think swinging the chain is; it is about what swinging the chain can do.

So let me ask you this. If a 4 year old thinks it is fun to walk up to people and spit on them because he is bored, is that acceptable? According to you he is not thinking about hitting someone he is just amusing himself because he is bored.

This type of action is beyond the "typical meltdown" type stuff.

[TenderDonkey]

"...Also, does anyone on here set up incentive systems for your kids? (i.e. "If you behave, you will get ____at the end of the day")..."

I had to laugh at the incentive systems. Growing up it was If you behave, you will get to continue living at the end of the day. The best advice was just know your child. If they sleep 10 hours a day and it's cut to 6 there is most likely going to be a problem.

I typically don't confront the child but the parent. When my DD got punched I went straight to the father.

[3Minnies1Mickey]

Originally Posted by tony609

I didn't read through ALL the pages BUT most of what i did read was people are saying kids had meltdowns because they were tired or hungry or both. I don't have kids so how do you prevent this? I feel sorry for kids like 3-6 in a stroller at the Magic Kingdom at Midnight, having a meltdown or fast asleep. Shouldn't they be in bed? I am asking because we are considering taking my Dp Nephews (twins) 7 and niece 4 next year. I know they would like fireworks BUT I don't see that on our trip since 9:00 is past bedtime. Do you throw schedules out for Disney or do yu stick to them and do what you can?

On another note. I do remember one child at DL having a fit, she was abut 5 and was very upset running around Ariel's grotto rest. (on a boat) in DCA. She was running around the rest. ruined a couple of our photos with characters..and others..she grabbed a table setting (knife,fork,spoon wrapped in a napkin) ran over to the edge and threw it into the water. Minnie looked at us and we just laughed. Minnie shook her head in disbelief.

BTW I never judge a kid by a "moment" I am seeing or a parent. I don't know the whole story and looks can be diseaving. Beacuse I am sure, still to this day..some of the things I do if you caught it for just a moment might make people think "WOW" or "Whats wrong there".....i very rarely have encountered anything out of the ordinary,to me, at WDW or DL..except for the above, which makes me laugh to this day.

As far as schedules and Disney. I agree with the PP that schedules change for Disney. Naps are required. If they fall asleep in the stroller at night that's fine, especially since I have little ones and big ones to contend with. Even with staying on a "normal routine" you will get melt downs at the end of the day, since a day at Disney is no way normal. Overstimulation, heat and lots of walking can tire a kid out by 5 or 6. I'd rather take the nap midday (which at this point only my youngest naps regularly at home) and try to extend our day. We are planning our first trip to WDW (have been to DLR numerous times) and will be there for 2 weeks. We will be adjusting to a new "living situation", eating habits and time zone. I fully expect my children to act up on occasion during the transition (if I don't expect it I cannot be prepared to deal with it).

I think that's one pitfall parents fall into: their normally angelic children acting up on a fun vacation. They don't expect their 5 year old to have a meltdown since its not the norm at home. They aren't prepared to discipline their child at Disney. Our first trip to DLR with kids, my oldest was 4. By day 3 she was overly tired and freaked out at our character dinner. DH couldn't understand why our normally agreeable child, who had not been afraid of the characters until 5 pm on day 3, was completely hysterical at Goofy's Kitchen (for her 4th bday party BTW). The lesson of the trip: Disney Magic can't make DL the "Happiest Place on Earth" when you have an exhausted 4 year old.

[sharadoc]

Originally Posted by Withacy

I have to agree with you.

I can not tell you how many times I've seen kids who look completely exhausted - even kids who looked SICK - being pulled along by parents desperately trying to keep their schedule/plan/ADR, etc. They want to do everything - and they all look miserable! And I'm sure in their mind, they've convinced themselves that they were doing it all for their kids!

Not judging other people's choices, but this is why we waited until my daughter was 7 to take her to Disney World. I didn't want to deal with a little kid who had no idea how to handle all the stimulation, new experiences, and possible change in schedule. She had to be mature enough to understand, listen and accept decisions.

We are VERY conscious of my son's behavior (autism/PDD-NOS). He is constantly moving, possibly singing or talking to himself. He may even touch someone if he wants to see their shirt, or cap or cup. We stand in line with him facing us, hold his hands or hug him, talk to him to keep him occupied, and try to sit away from people so his talking, etc. won't disturb folks in a show. We have found that the front row works, since he is not bothering people in front of him!

He had one VERY SERIOUS meltdown in Tomorrowland in June. Sat down in the middle of the walkway, yelling No and refusing to move (because we wanted to go back to the room). My DH and I took turns talking to him, but we did not grab him, pull him up or drag him away. I'm way past caring what other people think - I just needed to rationally get him to move on his own. Plus there was room to walk around him I'm sure the folks waiting in line for Stitch had a few opinions, but I could care less. Otherwise, we try to avoid his behavior impacting anyone but us. (and why the GAC is a godsend, because the intolerant people would hate to be in line with him!).

[LilyWDW]

"I'm sorry"

Such a simple phrase that, when used, can defuse some of the worst situations. If your kid does something to negatively impact the people around them, as simple "I'm sorry" would do wonders. Did the kid swing the line rope while you were distracted for that one moment and hit someone? "I'm sorry my child did that" would be a huge step in the right direction. Did the kid get a little too excited with their sword and accidentally hit someone? "I'm sorry he hit you" is the correct response.

Pretty much I think it comes down to two really simple ideas. One, if your child does something to someone, apologize. Two, if it's ongoing and negatively effects all those around you, go somewhere else until it can be calmed down.

What I mean by two is the dreaded tantrum in a restaurant, show, or ride line (or really any confined space). There are numerous people all in a (relatively) small location. As such, if your child is doing something to impact the enjoyment of others, then you need to remove them. If they are screaming during the show, then leave. If they are running around and yelling in the restaurant, then leave. If they continue to ignore you about swinging on the ropes, then leave. There is no reason to allow your child to bother a large number of people by their behavior.

Now, on my 2007 trip, I did complain about kids twice. They were even the same kids. Once I complained to a CM because the parents were allowing their children to run around in the landscaping (not the grass... the landscaping) and did nothing when they started to pull up grass and flowers. I spoke to a CM about that because they were destroying that I knew people had worked on. The CM asked them to keep the kids out of the landscaping and the parents did seem to listen (but didn't apologize).

The second time I complained to the waitress because these kids were being allowed to run around the restaurant and were causing a dangerous situation (it was a buffet, CP to be exact). Well, before the CM could do anything, the kids ran INTO Tigger. Smack dab into him while he was spending time with another family. Lets just say the family was firmly escorted out of the restaurant after that...

Not once did I complain about a general meltdown, because the parents were doing what they could every time I saw one. Not once did I complain about a kid being "loud" because they were excited about seeing Mickey. Not once did I complain about a kid wandering in front of me because they were so caught up with what was going on around them. No, there is a HUGE difference in those things compared to the 2 incidents I DID complain about.

So, all I ask of parents is... at least TRY to do something. Don't sit there and ignore it and allow it to impact other people. If you are trying, then people have a lot more patience then they would otherwise.

[2disneyboys]

Originally Posted by TenderDonkey

"...Also, does anyone on here set up incentive systems for your kids? (i.e. "If you behave, you will get ____at the end of the day")..."

I had to laugh at the incentive systems. Growing up it was If you behave, you will get to continue living at the end of the day. The best advice was just know your child. If they sleep 10 hours a day and it's cut to 6 there is most likely going to be a problem.

I typically don't confront the child but the parent. When my DD got punched I went straight to the father.

so funny but so true. It would never have occured to me to get something for having been good as a child...rather...I was always glad that I had't gotten a spanking or lost a privilage!!!

I know people with a lot of success with incentives with their kids behavior. That has never worked for us and I'm fine with it. for me, dh & our kids, LOSING something works better...they tend to feel the impact a lot quicker and it seems to stick better with them. In our family, you don't EARN fun or stuff/ you get to have fun until you misbehave then you loose said fun. Like you said, the key is to know what works best with your child to achieve the desired results and to be consistant about enforcing it!

[Sammie]

Originally Posted by tony609

I didn't read through ALL the pages BUT most of what i did read was people are saying kids had meltdowns because they were tired or hungry or both. I don't have kids so how do you prevent this? I feel sorry for kids like 3-6 in a stroller at the Magic Kingdom at Midnight, having a meltdown or fast asleep. Shouldn't they be in bed? I am asking because we are considering taking my Dp Nephews (twins) 7 and niece 4 next year. I know they would like fireworks BUT I don't see that on our trip since 9:00 is past bedtime. Do you throw schedules out for Disney or do yu stick to them and do what you can?

On another note. I do remember one child at DL having a fit, she was abut 5 and was very upset running around Ariel's grotto rest. (on a boat) in DCA. She was running around the rest. ruined a couple of our photos with characters..and others..she grabbed a table setting (knife,fork,spoon wrapped in a napkin) ran over to the edge and threw it into the water. Minnie looked at us and we just laughed. Minnie shook her head in disbelief.

BTW I never judge a kid by a "moment" I am seeing or a parent. I don't know the whole story and looks can be diseaving. Beacuse I am sure, still to this day..some of the things I do if you caught it for just a moment might make people think "WOW" or "Whats wrong there".....i very rarely have encountered anything out of the ordinary,to me, at WDW or DL..except for the above, which makes me laugh to this day.

See my previous comments about setting the schedule for the weakest link in the group. If you are taking a two year old then that child's regular daily schedule determines the schedule for everyone else.

Too many people want to cram as much as they can into the vacation, with the often heard, to children comment, "Do you have any idea how much this trip is costing us and you want to do what, Go take a nap or swim in the pool????

I mean seriously do adults think you can take a small child into a place with thousands of other people, in the heat, tired and hungry for hours and they not melt down.

One does not have to be parent, a child specialist, a teacher, a pediatrician to realize that is a recipe for disaster. Even adults who are tired, hot, hungry are going to melt down. Why does anyone think that is a fun vacation is beyond me.

It is common sense, sadly some adults just don't seem to get it.

Seriously if a parent is not willilng to adjust their schedule at WDW around the child's ability, then maybe they need to wait until the child can handle it on the adult schedule.

[Withacy]

Originally Posted by LilyWDW

So, all I ask of parents is... at least TRY to do something. Don't sit there and ignore it and allow it to impact other people. If you are trying, then people have a lot more patience then they would otherwise.

EXACTLY!

I think the vast majority of people are understanding when parents are dealing with a difficult situation - and the looks are most likely in sympathy. Obviously, there are over-stimulated, tired adults who will behave badly themselves and be less than understanding (and again, just like your children, they may normally be lovely people who are just not themselves at the moment). And there are people who are just jerks. But most of us understand.

It's when people ignore their children, do nothing to correct it, or even add to it that we get upset.

[LaurieN]

Originally Posted by Suellen

Honestly I think knowing your kids limitations going in will help. If they usually get up at 8 and have lunch at 11:30 and nap at noon and all of a sudden they are:

Up at 6 because they are excited ~ eat at 12:00 because that is when you got to lunch and got served and then are expected to skip a nap because well, after all, we did spend all this money.

Of course there will be meltdowns.

Our last trip was completely meltdown free because we let the girls lead the way. They decided when and where we went and if they wanted to spend the morning swimming and go to the park later we did that. Guess what? They didn't once get overtired, overheated or over hungry. It was actually the best trip we had. And we still got to do everything and everyone was happy doing it the whole time.

I know it isn't practical for every family to let the kids take the lead ~ but the uber planners should take a few minutes to think about the kiddos regular day at home and try to meld the two into something that will make everyone happy.




JMHO ~ take it for what it is worth.

I have to agree with you...Know what your kids can and can't handle!!!! This past trip was our first trip we were able to see fireworks because in the past the boys just couldn't stay up that late. We also have learned (the hard way) not to travel to WDW in the hot summer months as my kids just don't handle the heat well, we now go in Nov and LOVE IT!!!!!
As for planning: DS8 has Aspergers and needs a schedule so he and I make a plan together. He picks what character meals he would like, I make the ADR's and pick what days we should go to what parks. We don't map out the entire day since that would put too much pressure on him and god forbid we were late for something (that's when his meltdown would happen).
Laurie

[Shreggor]

Originally Posted by Beauty & the Best

Just because someone does not have children of thier own does not mean that they have no experience with children.

No kidding. We were all kids once. And plenty of childless or childfree people work as teachers, nannies and the like.

[moscow]

Originally Posted by Suellen

Honestly I think knowing your kids limitations going in will help. If they usually get up at 8 and have lunch at 11:30 and nap at noon and all of a sudden they are:

Up at 6 because they are excited ~ eat at 12:00 because that is when you got to lunch and got served and then are expected to skip a nap because well, after all, we did spend all this money.

Of course there will be meltdowns.

Our last trip was completely meltdown free because we let the girls lead the way. They decided when and where we went and if they wanted to spend the morning swimming and go to the park later we did that. Guess what? They didn't once get overtired, overheated or over hungry. It was actually the best trip we had. And we still got to do everything and everyone was happy doing it the whole time.

I know it isn't practical for every family to let the kids take the lead ~ but the uber planners should take a few minutes to think about the kiddos regular day at home and try to meld the two into something that will make everyone happy.


JMHO ~ take it for what it is worth.

This is our philosophy as well. We are planning a surprise trip for our DD (age 7) and DS (age 16 months) in December. Since the trip primarily is for our daughter, we will let her set the schedule. We are using the 2-day Dumbo or Die plan from touring plans as a general guide for touring the MK, but the schedule will be up entirely to DD. If she wants to return early to the hotel to swim, then that is what we will do. (For her, the MK IS Disney, so she would prefer to spend most if not all of her trip there and because we are letting her set the schedule, that is what we will do.)

We were fortunate enough to get a room at the Poly facing the MK, so while I put DS to bed in the evenings, DH and DD will sit on the balcony and watch the fireworks at the MK. That way DS is able to keep on his nightly schedule (which makes all of us that much happier) and DD is able to see the fireworks with daddy!