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Old 02-03-2010, 01:33 PM   #16
toniosmom
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I am divorced and my husband was unfaithful. At the time, we had no children, but it was still devastating.

Years later, I adopted a little baby boy as a single mother. He is now 5, but last year, not long after he turned 4, I took him to WDW by myself and it was the best vacation ever. I was REALLY nervous because he has some special needs (non-physical) and I was worried about meltdowns, etc. However, I planned NOTHING. We just went where the wind took us. There was no pressure to see everything. We usually went to the parks for the morning and spent the rest of the day swimming. Evenings were spent at the resort. We both had a blast and created memories that we still talk about today.

We are going back in 30 days, but this time my parents are coming along, plus my 18yo niece and her BFF. However, the trip after that (in December) will be just the two of us again. I am looking forward to both trips for different reasons.

I truly hope that you can create wonderful memories for your children. My advice (if you want it) is to put no pressure on yourselves. It sounds like you go to WDW often enough so that you won't be rushed to get it all in. You'll be back. Maybe WDW can be "your" place with your children.

I pray that you also find peace with what has happened to you. It takes a while, but your children will help you see all of the happy things in your life.

All the best.....
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Old 02-11-2010, 01:53 PM   #17
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toniosmom - what an inspiring story! Thank you. It helps to know people get through this so well. I hope everything continues to go in a great direction for you. So many trips for you - I am jealous!!!

This trip will be very different for us, but I am really looking forward to it. And the boys are too. They are making lists of things not to miss... I LOVE IT!!
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:34 AM   #18
LaurLaur04
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I am very sorry this happened! But you are much better off. I am also a single mom. Though my daughter's father and I were never married (we were about to be, but when I got pregnant he abandoned us) I still felt like you did. My daughter is now 2 1/2 and I have just recently realized how much happier I am as a single mother. Its much better than being in a relationship where things aren't as they should be. Feel sorry for this new woman of his, because if he will do it to you, he will do it to her! You on the other hand get to go to Disney World with your boys!
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Old 03-18-2010, 12:37 PM   #19
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I too am a single mother. I suspect my husband wasn't faithful, but I'll never know the truth. We split shortly after my son turned one, and though it hurt like hell then, I now know it was the best thing for my son and I.

I know it doesn't help to hear it now, but you will get over this hurt. You will grow into a much stronger person because of it. Your boys will grow up and find out what happened, and they will respect you because you did the right thing. You kept strong for them and didn't let the behavior of their father ruin their childhoods. They will know that you tried to do the right thing for them and did the best you could. And they will always remember the laughter and good times that they had with mommy at Disney World.

We are all here for you, so feel free to vent as needed.
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:29 AM   #20
Starchat
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That's terrible. Cheating is for losers, so you're better off without that trouble anyway. If you need to talk, we're all here!
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Old 03-27-2010, 07:26 PM   #21
Andreja
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Too bad people are selfish and do not understand children are reason for their living :/
But it is not end of world, just have to find some motivation in rising your children
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Old 03-28-2010, 02:21 PM   #22
Floydian
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Originally Posted by smithmom View Post
I can look them in their eyes and truthfully say I gave it everything I had
In my personal experience, this is one of THE most important things. When you know you gave it your all, it is far far easier to learn and grow and move on.
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Old 03-28-2010, 02:25 PM   #23
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I am so sorry you are going through the same hell that I've been going through. The betrayal, lies and the emotional rollercoasters are rough! There is a great website that I came across when I learned of my husband's extracurricular activities: survivinginfidelity.com This site has really helped me through the rough days and nights following the discovery, to become stronger and healthier as each day goes by. Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way!
I agree about that website!! It didn't save my marriage (nothing could if even one person doesn't want to). But their forums are filled with positive insights from people who truly understand.
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Old 04-03-2010, 10:22 PM   #24
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I agree about that website!! It didn't save my marriage (nothing could if even one person doesn't want to). But their forums are filled with positive insights from people who truly understand.
I agree about survivinginfidelity.com. I've been referred there by several people on this board and it is a very helpful place to visit.
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Old 04-04-2010, 04:23 PM   #25
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I never saw this part of him before we had kids. To be fair, it may have been there, but I just didn't see it. But when it started to become clear I had one chile who wasn't even 2 yet, and one on the way. I wanted my family. They were THE most important thing in my life, and I couldn't see past that. I loved him more than I did myself. It took almost 4 years for me to be convinced I'd be better on my own. That's a long time, but now I can walk with my head high and know that someday, if my children ever want to talk with me about what happened, and I can look them in their eyes and truthfully say I gave it everything I had. But there comes a point where you need to let go so that you can become who you are supposed to be... for me it was being a good mom. It's amazing the energy one can focus on something. If it gives back it is sooooo worth it, but if it gives you nothing back, then it's just draining the effort you could be giving everything else in your life. IT IS A HARD LESSON TO LEARN.

ok, there I go again. Rant... rant.... rant...
I don't know you but I am so proud of your strength. I too was married to a cheater and we split up 3 years ago when my son was 18 months old. I focused on my son and being the best parent I could for him. He is a very happy 4 1/2 year old and we are heading to Disney in 20 days! It will be his 5th trip to Disney - I love Disney as a single mom - it is a place where I can enjoy hanging out with my son and have fun together.

Life is really good as a single mom and I love it. I do feel sorry for my ex because all of his bad choices are going to have him have to live with huge regrets later in life. He is in such a downward spiral that he is unable to be a good dad to his beautiful son. I could never hate him although he hurt me deeper than I have ever been hurt before - I loved him and trusted him completely - his happiness meant more to me than my own. But I also got the greatest gift of my son from being with him so I focus on how lucky I am to have my son because some people never get to have that type of joy in their lives. The pain I went through is more than worth it for the beautiful son that I have.

Anyway, I just wanted to say how proud I am of how strong you are and that you are focused on the right people - your children. I hope life brings some wonderful things your way because you deserve it.
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