What do you think about putting children on a leash?

[mjkacmom]

Originally Posted by Suellen

Call it whatever you want. It is offensive to many, many, many people.

When I was going for my MA in special education, and received my certification, 13 years ago, I did my student teaching in a EMR classroom, educable mentally retarded. There are also severely retarded, profounly retarded, etc., based on IQ scores. It's a term commonly used in special education, a term not appropriate for use when not in terms of special education. However, the PP did use it in an appropriate manner.

http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=9440&page=182

[Cosmo.Kramer]

Originally Posted by bellebookworm9

It's okay. Just out of curiosity, what is it referred to in Scotland? I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm honestly just curious.

It's usually mentally handicapped. I used to train that worked on a phone help line for all different types of customers with different handicaps, both mentall and physically and I had to go through a big thing about what we can and can't say.

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Originally Posted by mjkacmom

When I was going for my MA in special education, and received my certification, 13 years ago, I did my student teaching in a EMR classroom, educable mentally retarded. There are also severely retarded, profounly retarded, etc., based on IQ scores. It's a term commonly used in special education, a term not appropriate for use when not in terms of special education. However, the PP did use it in an appropriate manner.

http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=9440&page=182

Exactly. Mental retardation is a medical diagnosis. The "R" word, as we call it in our house, is one of the most cruel insults possible. While there are softer terms, for example Iowa has adopted the term Intellectual Disability, Bellebookworm used the terminology correctly and in a sensitive way.

[Mouse House Mama]

Still- nobody answered my questions.
When you put the leash on does the child magically behave? Do they not try and run? If they do are they straining against the harness while you reign them back in? Do you yank them back? Do you have a retractable lead so they can run 20 feet ahead to "explore"? I don't get how it magically makes a "runner" into a walker/stay by your parent child.

[Cosmo.Kramer]

Originally Posted by Mouse House Mama

Still- nobody answered my questions.
When you put the leash on does the child magically behave? Do they not try and run? If they do are they straining against the harness while you reign them back in? Do you yank them back? Do you have a retractable lead so they can run 20 feet ahead to "explore"? I don't get how it magically makes a "runner" into a walker/stay by your parent child.

I thought I maybe answered that when I said it acted as a deterrent not to run. You hold the reins so that they don't run away but I would never yank it. Our daughter doesn't like it so as said, I have to use it less and less now and YES it has made our daughter a better walker. It doesn't magically do anything, but over time it works.

[Mouse House Mama]

Originally Posted by Cosmo.Kramer

I thought I maybe answered that when I said it acted as a deterrent not to run. You hold the reins so that they don't run away but I would never yank it. Our daughter doesn't like it so as said, I have to use it less and less now and YES it has made our daughter a better walker. It doesn't magically do anything, but over time it works.

But HOW does it work? You don't yank it but how do you hold the reigns so they don't run? Do you hold it super tight next to you like when you are training a dog? I truly don't get it. Does the child strain against it until they learn to walk nicely?

[bellebookworm9]

Originally Posted by Cosmo.Kramer

It's usually mentally handicapped. I used to train that worked on a phone help line for all different types of customers with different handicaps, both mentall and physically and I had to go through a big thing about what we can and can't say.

That's good to know. I just talked to my mom and she said "mentally handicapped" is a slightly out of date term here, but I understand the point of not offending customers.

Originally Posted by A_Princess'_Daddy

Exactly. Mental retardation is a medical diagnosis. The "R" word, as we call it in our house, is one of the most cruel insults possible. While there are softer terms, for example Iowa has adopted the term Intellectual Disability, Bellebookworm used the terminology correctly and in a sensitive way.

"Intellectual Disability" is a new term to my family; my mom said she hasn't heard that one yet. I know there are softer terms, but honestly, the "politically correct" term changes so often that no matter what one says, it will probably offend someone. I normally say my brother is developmentally disabled if I don't want to go into detail. However, seeing as PPs have said they have children on the ASD, I decided the detail would be okay. I did not mean to offend anyone. This argument is not even the point of this thread. Let's just wrap this up and go back to watching people argue over whether or not to put their children on safety harnesses.

[Kurby]

where do you guys get the "20 feet" figure?

the one i had for DD was a harnis that was warn like those back pack ones with the lead coming from the middle of her back not her wrist and at most it had a 4 foot lead not 20 feet and not on one of those retractable dog leashes

did i look at things while i walked with her - of course i did - no different then someone holding a childs hand.

did dd try to run while wearing it? yes sometimes she did - not unlike a child trying to yank their hand out of their parents hand to take off

and yes there were times when i held it as tight and wouldn't let her wander and there were times that i let her walk the 3-4 feet away.

i was teaching her to walk independantly without going too far and not yanking on her arm the entire time we walked. and why should she be stuck in a stroller when she can walk

i'm not sure why someone else parenting style gets others so upset and defensive. parent how you see fit and as long as your kids are happy, healthy and safe that's all that matters.

if you don't like something someone else is doing that's your issue not theirs

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Originally Posted by bellebookworm9

That's good to know. I just talked to my mom and she said "mentally handicapped" is a slightly out of date term here, but I understand the point of not offending customers.



"Intellectual Disability" is a new term to my family; my mom said she hasn't heard that one yet. I know there are softer terms, but honestly, the "politically correct" term changes so often that no matter what one says, it will probably offend someone. I normally say my brother is developmentally disabled if I don't want to go into detail. However, seeing as PPs have said they have children on the ASD, I decided the detail would be okay. I did not mean to offend anyone. This argument is not even the point of this thread. Let's just wrap this up and go back to watching people argue over whether or not to put their children on safety harnesses.

I certainly didn't take offense to your post! Our son has severe delays, both physical and to somewhat lesser extent cognitive, so we're becoming quite familiar with the terminology. We hadn't heard intellectual disability, either, until we moved to Iowa from Boston. He has not been diagnosed as MR, and may not be, but we're learning a ton along the way. And you are correct, the PC terminology changes a lot and is hard to keep up with, but you used the medical term correctly. That's all I was trying to say.

I think your career path sounds wonderful, and give you praise for the many people you will help in the future!

And I agree this wasn't the point of the thread, I'm replying now only to make sure you didn't think I was criticizing you.

[Cosmo.Kramer]

Originally Posted by Mouse House Mama

But HOW does it work? You don't yank it but how do you hold the reigns so they don't run? Do you hold it super tight next to you like when you are training a dog? I truly don't get it. Does the child strain against it until they learn to walk nicely?

You hold it, and if they run, they can't go any further. I certainly don't yank it - and we seriously need to get away from the whole dog thing. I really don't understand what's confusing about. I really, really don't. It's not like the child will always fight against it, they wear it for a little bit and then eventually they forgot it's there and walk nicely. After a while, you just take it off.

[rie'smom]

Originally Posted by Cosmo.Kramer

You hold it, and if they run, they can't go any further. I certainly don't yank it - and we seriously need to get away from the whole dog thing. I really don't understand what's confusing about. I really, really don't. It's not like the child will always fight against it, they wear it for a little bit and then eventually they forgot it's there and walk nicely. After a while, you just take it off.

But this sounds just like walking a dog. At first dogs strain against the leash and then they are trained and walk nicely.

[Cosmo.Kramer]

Think i'm just going to duck out of this as it seems to be like banging your head against a brick wall whether your for it or not. We seems to have opinions and really none of them are going to change so it's just like going round in circles.

[mking624]

Originally Posted by rie'smom

But this sounds just like walking a dog. At first dogs strain against the leash and then they are trained and walk nicely.

Many children resist any form of discipline or child-rearing at first, and some continue it during their teen rebellion years. So are you just gonna look for a reason not to do any of those either? We get it, some parents don't care for the harnesses and won't use them. Great for them, no one is saying you're required to use these. But knock off the judgment and STOP comparing them to dogs.

[EnchantedTales]

Ok, I haven't read all the responses, but ... Dogs leashes are not to pull them. A dog leash is to teach the dog who has the lead. I have not heard of ONE parent who uses a restrain, or leash, to pull their child or to be able to let the child free and not have to watch them. They use it to keep them safe and avoid the child from wondering off.

When a child is on the leash he/she will walk with you, and is free to wonder within a certain distance. Many times, or the majority of times it, contrary to dogs, it is the parent who is following the child and the child who is leading the adult. When they are approaching a place where they shouldn't be the parent is able to grab and prevent junior, or the princess, from falling, hitting or doing anything that may harm them. Many children outrun the adults and end up getting hurt.

Many others have bought the device because the junior, or the miss, just wonders off. We had that problem with our daughter who was an extremely friendly child who once got picked up by a cashier at Kmart. The woman was standing next to me but when I finished paying and I didn't see her in the stroller I almost died of a heart attack. When she was older, like many here said, she would see something that would catch her eye and would walk towards it completely forgetting to tell me. We bought a hand leash and it gave me the biggest piece of mind because I knew she couldn't go far. She would wonder off and when she couldn't go any further she would come back and tell me where she wanted to go. No need for me to pull her.

Parenting is all about doing what you think it's best for your child. If a parent thinks the best thing is a leash, tether restrain or whatever is called where you live, then it is their right and their duty to use the technique they see fit. Unless they are causing physical or psychological harm there is no reason for anyone to pass judgment over what they do as a parent. Plenty of people I know were raised with a leash and they are productive members of society; I have yet to see otherwise.

As a society we need to be more tolerant and respectful of others people's choices, even if we do not agree with them. It is one lesson that we fail many times to teach our children and that it is, in my opinion, as important or even more than if we use a tether or not.

ETA: BTW since I see some people insisting in comparing dogs to children allow me to say this. When I took a car to drive for the first time (at 16) my mother told me this: "If you accidentally hit a dog, you can accidentally hit a child also. Dogs, the elders, and Children are innocent care free creatures that deserve caring and vigilance. Always watch for them." Yes she put dogs in the same category as humans. But her point still stood high on my mind. We are all God's creatures and it doesn't matter if you are human or animal the same vigilance, care and patience is deserve for all. So from this parent personal opinion I can say go ahead and compare it because if I can loose a dog, I can loose a child too and neither would be acceptable to me. Although I don't have pets.

[aceys_h0ney]

Originally Posted by EnchantedTales

ETA: BTW since I see some people insisting in comparing dogs to children allow me to say this. When I took a car to drive for the first time (at 16) my mother told me this: "If you accidentally hit a dog, you can accidentally hit a child also. Dogs, the elders, and Children are innocent care free creatures that deserve caring and vigilance. Always watch for them." Yes she put dogs in the same category as humans. But her point still stood high on my mind. We are all God's creatures and it doesn't matter if you are human or animal the same vigilance, care and patience is deserve for all. So from this parent personal opinion I can say go ahead and compare it because if I can loose a dog, I can loose a child too and neither would be acceptable to me. Although I don't have pets.

That was great!