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Old 07-19-2009, 09:13 AM   #16
budmonster
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I am so sorry for you loss. I'd like to share this poem with you, I found it very comforting when I lost someone I dearly loved a couple years ago. Please know that you are in my thought and prayers at this diffcult time in your life.




If Tomorrow Starts Without Me…

If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise you find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready, in heaven far above
And that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned and walked away a tear fell from my eye.
For all my life I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad.
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I’d say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
When I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
When I walked through heavens gates I felt so much at home.
God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne
He said, “This is eternity and all I’ve promised you”
Today your life on earth has passed but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last
And since each day is the same there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
You have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts with out me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here in your heart.
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:39 PM   #17
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Stacy, I don't even know what to say to you other than I'm so sorry. Just know that all of us here are thinking of you & your struggle. If it helps you, just talk talk talk, we promise we will listen as much as you need.

Just take baby steps. Take care of your health. It's ok to cry & grieve for no matter how long it takes you. No one here or in a support group would ever judge you for wanting to talk endlessly about your dear son. Many in the support groups you'll find (or are in) have been through the same thing, they will understand.

Take care, you're in my thoughts!
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Old 07-20-2009, 07:33 PM   #18
Mskanga
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First of all I am really sorry for your loss. My 16 year old daughter is a cancer survivor , she and her friend and classmate were diagnosed with cancer at almost the same time. Her mom and I became very good friends . Unfortunately her daughter passed away in April and I see my friend everyday struggle with the pain ......and I see my daughter feeling guilty for surviving , and I feel guilty for celebrating my daughter's survival when hers did not make it. I know my friend is thrilled to pieces that my daughter survived , just like I am heartbroken that hers didn't.
I am just as heartbroken for you because no parent should ever have to bury their children.....it should be the other way around.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:41 PM   #19
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Stacy - I am so sorry for your loss, I"m sorry your son died, I can only imagine the pain you feel every day. I've lost a son as well, however mine was only 2 days old...& while my pain was/is great I know none of us suffer the same kind of pain, and your loss if very different from mine.

What I have learned that might help you is that it's okay...okay to cry, okay to cry in front of anyone/everyone you need to cry. it's okay to be mad as hell, it's okay to be confused as hell, it's okay to be lost as hell...basically you need to grieve you need to feel whatever it is you need to feel...only then can you begin to heal...I won't say get better,because I truly believe once you bury a child you are never "better" never the same person you were before.

However, it has been almost 11 years since my son died & what I do know is that in those 2 days he gave me gifts beyond belief. I'm sure in your wonderful son's 19 years he also gave you gifts that you will treasure forever, gifts that will help you become the person you want to be for the rest of your life, gifts that will help you keep his memory alive in whatever way you choose.

The road ahead is one no parent ever wants to travel.My thoughts & prayers are with you as you begin your journey
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:14 PM   #20
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Stacy - I just want to say that although no situation is the same and no two people grieve alike - I do understand what you are going through. We lost our oldest son in Dec. of 07. He was 18. Actually, he was my stepson, but DH and I married when he was 3 and he spent a lot of time with us until he actually moved in with us when he was 14.

He was killed in an auto accident. The spot is only about 10 miles from my house, but I NEVER go past there. Luckily it is not a route I have to take very often, but I will go miles out of my way to avoid it.

There were no drugs or alcohol involved and the police report says he was only going 5-10 mph over the speed limit. So, like you, we have lots of questions. He was killed on impact. It was a single vehicle accident. He left the road and hit a tree.

I don't want to seem like I'm taking over your thread with my story, just wanted to let you know how very sorry I am. If I had only one wish it would be that not one more parent ever know the sorrow we do. I wish I had some magic words for you, but I haven't found them yet.

The important thing is to let yourself feel what you feel every moment, no matter what it is. It's ok to be sad, but don't forget to be joyful as well. I have found that when I feel sad about it, I try to think of a memory that makes me laugh (and there are lots of them!). Don't let others push you into the space they think you need to be in. The summer before he passed away, we had been to WDW. I have been unable to watch the home movies from that trip. Even now, I think I'm ready...I start to put one on and I just cannot do it. I have pictures and I look at them frequently. I even have a huge collage of pics I took on that trip hanging on the wall above me right now....but I am not ready for those videos.

Once again, I am so sorry. I may not feel exactly how and what you do...but I do understand.
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Old 07-21-2009, 08:40 AM   #21
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I can honestly say I have never experienced losing a child so I can't say I know your pain. I do know what it is to lose someone you love dearly. Please accept my deepest sympathy for you and your family.

Please try to remember that it is ok to cry, no matter how many times. Embrace your husband, let him know you need his strength as much as I am sure he needs yours.
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Old 07-21-2009, 07:53 PM   #22
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Thank You everyone for your kind words and sharing your stories with me. I am so filled with emotions I never know from minute to minute what I am going to be like. I feel like I burden people and I try not to discuss my son too much with family and friends, but it's hard not to when he was my life.

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Old 07-21-2009, 10:11 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by pfishgirl View Post
Thank You everyone for your kind words and sharing your stories with me. I am so filled with emotions I never know from minute to minute what I am going to be like. I feel like I burden people and I try not to discuss my son too much with family and friends, but it's hard not to when he was my life.



I wish I could give you a real hug. You are not a burden on anybody - you re hurting and it helps to talk while healing. If you ever need to talk about it (well, write about it since we're online) feel free to send me a PM. I had a car accident a few years ago and I still have PTSD from it. It helps me to talk about it sometimes so feel free to talk to me.

Weren't you on the Double Dip trip last September? I remember your name.

Take care.
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Old 07-22-2009, 06:36 PM   #24
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You always have us to talk to when you need it....
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Old 07-22-2009, 06:59 PM   #25
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You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. Don't feel like you are a burden, if you need to cry then do it, you are sure entitled to it.
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Old 07-22-2009, 07:08 PM   #26
TaraPA
I will think of that animatronic as him
I also wouldn't mind if they made it racier!The germs would just skeeve me out!
 
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I had a car accident a few years ago and I still have PTSD from it. It helps me to talk about it sometimes so feel free to talk to me.



I too had PTSD after our neighbor's house burned down & their 21-yr old son died in the fire. It's been 8 years & I still need to talk about it from time to time, to re-live that day & what happened...so please talk to us about your dear son. Tell us anything you'd like about him, everyone here will listen with open ears. Post pictures, tell us how you feel, anything.
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Old 07-23-2009, 01:24 PM   #27
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I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I watched what my mom went through when my sister suddenly died. I pray that you will know Gods peace and comfort in the days ahead.

I am glad to hear you are in the support group. We are here for you too. I pray also that your dh and you will find strength in each other in the days ahead.

My mom did a few things to honor my sisters memory. People gave her money donations and she used them to put on a childrens play in her memory and the rest went to a childrens orphanage as my sister loved children so, even though she wasnt married. I pray you will find a special way to honor your son, Blessings to you.
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Old 07-23-2009, 03:34 PM   #28
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I can not begin to understand your pain. I am deeply sorry for everything. Please NEVER feel like you are a burden here. This is a community, every one of us, and we are all here for you any time you need it.

I will keep you in constant thought and prayer.
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Old 07-23-2009, 07:45 PM   #29
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Thank You everyone for your kind words and sharing your stories with me. I am so filled with emotions I never know from minute to minute what I am going to be like. I feel like I burden people and I try not to discuss my son too much with family and friends, but it's hard not to when he was my life.

Dear niece Stacy. I am glad you found this forum. You are not a burden. I know Damien was your life. Feel free to email me or call me every day. I am here for you.
Aunt Michele
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Old 07-23-2009, 11:17 PM   #30
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Stacy..I can only shed tears and say a prayer for you but know that you and your family are in my thoughts. Shirley
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