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Old 06-20-2009, 02:20 PM   #16
bumbershoot
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OH, and I might not go to the wedding, but would send a nice present. Then again, I don't go to many weddings, and don't think I've been to ANY cousin's wedding, ever, b/c they just don't think to ask me. OH wait, one cousin asked, but I couldn't go.
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Old 06-20-2009, 02:28 PM   #17
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This happened to us our last trip. We had the trip planned and paided for and then about 2 months beofre we were to go our best friends daughter decided to get married before her baby was bron. The wedding was on the last day of our trip.
We ended up not going. We told them we were sorry but there was nothing we could do.

Good luck
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Old 06-20-2009, 03:39 PM   #18
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I agree with most others. Go on your trip and send a nicer gift than if you had acually attended. Be sure to get them a momento from Disney too - for them and baby.

Regarding the "twice removed" thing. Ive never understood that. I always thought it was a slang term...lol. I didnt know it was real. I always saw it as 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousin.....etc.

Example:

My dad is Larry. Larry's cousin is Mickey (yes, really).
Mickey is my 2nd cousin
Mickey is my son's 3rd cousin

Now....on to the conusing part for me....

My brother is Michael.....who has a son we call Boogie (nickname)
My son is James
James and Boogie are cousins
Boogie has a son
We have no idea what Boogies son is to my son lol...and have actually tried to figure this out for a while now. The baby is my "great-nephew".......is this where the 'twice removed' thing comes in to play?

I apoloize for the threadjack.....it was just interesting to me.
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Old 06-20-2009, 04:24 PM   #19
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Bumbershoot explains it well, and it IS much easier to see with a chart.


The children of two cousins are "second cousins" to each other. Anything that goes across is first, second or third cousins.

When you jump between generations, you are "removed". My mom has a cousin. To me, that person is my cousin "once removed". To my child, that person would be her cousin "twice removed" (ie. two generations down).
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Old 06-20-2009, 04:30 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disneyliscious View Post
I agree with most others. Go on your trip and send a nicer gift than if you had acually attended. Be sure to get them a momento from Disney too - for them and baby.

Regarding the "twice removed" thing. Ive never understood that. I always thought it was a slang term...lol. I didnt know it was real. I always saw it as 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousin.....etc.

Example:

My dad is Larry. Larry's cousin is Mickey (yes, really).
Mickey is my 2nd cousin
Mickey is my son's 3rd cousin

Now....on to the conusing part for me....

My brother is Michael.....who has a son we call Boogie (nickname)
My son is James
James and Boogie are cousins
Boogie has a son
We have no idea what Boogies son is to my son lol...and have actually tried to figure this out for a while now. The baby is my "great-nephew".......is this where the 'twice removed' thing comes in to play?

I apoloize for the threadjack.....it was just interesting to me.
They would be first cousins once removed.

It has to do with what relative the have in common.

First cousins share grandparents. James and Boogie have the same grandfather.

James & Boogie's son are both related to your Dad but your Dad is your son's grandfather and your great nephew's great grandfather.

If you have a grandchild then that child and your great nephew will have the same great grandparents so that makes them 2nd cousins.
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Old 06-20-2009, 04:46 PM   #21
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I would absolutely NOT cut my trip short!!!! You have your trip planned and paid for, it's a done deal. 3 months away is extremely short notice for a wedding, and i'm sure everyone knows that you'll be away on that date. Send a lovely gift!!!!! And if I was planning a wedding with such short notice I would make sure everyone that I was close with was able to attend on that date. If it were a huge issue that you be there, i'm sure they could have put it to the weekend before or after!!!!
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Old 06-20-2009, 05:07 PM   #22
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It would depend on who it is. I was on the other end of this scenario (minus the baby) b4. DH & I had originally planned for an 04 wedding, but because of the military we moved it to an 03 wedding...not just moved it up a few months, but a whole year practically. We gave people a months notice. My grandmother and aunt already had a trip planned to Stone Mountain, GA and didnt attend. I was a little upset about that (because it was my Grandmother), but I had to understand because I did do it so last min. So coming from the bride's view as long as you arent like the sister or grandmother (or close aunt) I would say take your vacation, explain why you cant change (that you would lose a large ammount of money and experience w/ your own family), and then get them a nice gift from Disney.
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:03 PM   #23
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I agree with the others. I'd alter my plans, if possible, for a CLOSE family member... sibling, parent, or child. For a cousin or more distant friend/family member, I'd send my regrets and a decent present.

Just because you are invited DOES NOT mean that you are obligated to attend... or even to give a gift.
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:19 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by momof1princess View Post
since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.
I agree!!!
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:25 PM   #25
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I would send my best wishes to them & tell them we already had a family vacation planned. As a gift, you could take them back bride & groom Mickey ears or maybe a nice frame that would be great for a wedding picture. I understand the torn feeling, but they have to understand not everyone can make the wedding, even with ample planning. I know I received plenty of "no" cards back in the mail when I was planning my wedding.
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:29 PM   #26
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We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?

If you were close family then you would have had some notice of pending wedding.

In your situation with vacation booked, I would just reply to invite with short note and check for $200 to say sorry we can't attend as we have already booked holiday for those days, congratulations.

And I wouldn't feel bad because you are not lying.
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Old 06-20-2009, 07:04 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyBWV99 View Post
We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?
Personally, No I would not be attending. I would call them directly after responding to the invitation and say something like....we are so sorry we cannot attend as our planned vacation is already booked and paid for and we are unable to change it without a significant financial loss. I wish we had known earlier we would have loved to attend...then just send your gift....
Sorry to have to deal with this, but to change everything at this point seems a bit much to me....
Good Luck with your decision...........
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Old 06-20-2009, 07:57 PM   #28
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Thanks so much for all the feedback!

We just found out 2 days ago no invitations are even out yet that this was all hastily happening baby or wedding.

It's DHs 1st cousin, they live far but they were close growing up.

We thought it may be a whole other matter if our children or DH were invited to be in the wedding but right now we are leaning towards missing it. We're kind of 70/30 right now. Mainly because we will go to the wedding shower and will attend the baby shower and then visit the baby once it's here which is right on top of Christmas. We go to WDW every October but hadn't really told anyone our dates for this year only because they are typically appox the same week every year.

We are under the wire since we need to be buying return tix here VERY soon!
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Old 06-20-2009, 09:34 PM   #29
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I would skip the wedding...

And I HAVE...Just on our last trip.

We have a close family and one of our nieces had her wedding planned for quite a while...Unfortunately, we thought it was the following weekend for some reason. Then a business conference for dh in Orlando came up - about 6 months prior - and so we planned a vacation around the conference. Then, a couple months later we found out the actual date of the wedding. We did NOT attend. I know the bride wasn't thrilled, but honestly on the day of - I'm sure she didn't really notice.

I did have some guilt but only because I got the date wrong to begin with - if it was a last minute before-the-baby wedding, I wouldn't have any guilt at all. After all - if they truly WANTED all the family there, they would have given a LOT of notice so that they could all clear their schedules. People who schedule last-minute wedding honestly should not expect everyone to show up. People have lives that just can't be thrown out just due to the whim of your last minute decision.

I think I would ONLY consider it if it was someone I was close with now...not someone I was close with years ago...
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Old 06-20-2009, 10:03 PM   #30
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Sorry....but I would be sending my regrets. If it takes longer to plan a family vacation than a wedding than the vacation it will be!!!!
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