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Old 04-08-2009, 11:22 AM   #1
Sorta new. ;) Still gets a tag
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 1,089

OT - Am I A Bad Mom?

I have a 4 year old daughter. Last summer we got some new neighbors. Across the way a 5 and 6 year old girl and directly across the street a 4 year old girl. We live on a fairly quiet cul de sac. My daughter has become friends with these girls.

She will go to their house to play or they will come to our house to play. Now that the weather is warmer they are playing outside more often. I usually sit by the window in the living room to watch dd play outside. The kids are out fairly late, and I've allowed her curfew to be 7pm (is that too late?).

Even though we live on a cul de sac, the other parents allow their children to play in the street. I don't feel comfortable with that, and have many times yelled at dd not to. The girl across the street disregards my request and plays in the street anyway, and my dd will sometimes follow her. In the winter the girl across the street (we'll call her Eve)was eating snow and my dd followed, I told her not to and I get, "but Eve does it". DD told me that she was eating grass, and I told her not to do that and she said, "but Eve does it". On Monday she was out after the rain and Eve and dd were drinking from puddles, I told dd not to do that and of course she says "but Eve is doing it".

If it were up to Eve's mom they would play from sun up to sun down. I think at some point children need to spend time at home, and should not be over someone's house or outside for hours at a time, especially at 4 years old. Am I wrong? Am I being an unnecessary drill sargeant? I want dd to stay within a certain area so I can see her, as in this day and age you can't trust people and children disappear all the time.

Am I wrong to tell my dd to not do things that 'kids do', that she can't play outside or at her friends house all the time (even when we're not doing anything at home), to stay out of the street at ALL times even though we live on a cul de sac, is 7pm too late for a 4 year old to play outside? I feel like a mean parent but I want dd to be safe and she is only 4 years old after all. Why does she need to be out all day and into the evening? What do you think?

Eve's mother seems to think that kids should be free to play all the time. Well my dd goes to preschool 3 full days a week, I work 12 hour shifts on Sat and Sun (7am to 7:30pm) so I don't get to see her much on weekends. On school days as soon we pull in the driveway from school her firends are running up to the car so she can come out, and the only 2 full days during the week we have together her friend expects her to be out playing with her. I'm 8 months pregnant and don't have much energy, so when we are home together even though we don't 'play', I still enjoy our time together. Am I being selfish?

Last edited by smkiya; 04-08-2009 at 11:37 AM.
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