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Old 07-24-2008, 01:20 PM   #16
Todd&Copper
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I've heard of that, but never done it. I don't think it is polite to give a food gift/cooked dish to someone and expect one back in return. I just return a clean dish and thank them again.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:21 PM   #17
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we never return a dish empty either.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:22 PM   #18
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When I make something and give it to someone I usually use the foil pans I can get for $1, so I don't have to worry about it, unless it's someone I know I'm going to see again soon, (like my grandmother who lives ten minutes away.)

But no, I wouldn't make something just to give the plate back, and I've never heard of it before either.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:47 PM   #19
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My family has always done it exactly like you. You return it with SOMETHING in it.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:54 PM   #20
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I have never heard of that. It doesn't make sense...if you are making something for someone because they need a little help (new baby, death in the family, etc.) you expect them to make you something in return? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I don't get that at all.

Anyway, I usually use a disposable container so that nobody has to worry about it.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:15 PM   #21
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I return the dish clean.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:35 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil mermaid View Post
I have never heard of that. It doesn't make sense...if you are making something for someone because they need a little help (new baby, death in the family, etc.) you expect them to make you something in return? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I don't get that at all.

Anyway, I usually use a disposable container so that nobody has to worry about it.
ITA - it doesn't make sense.

But then again, I come from an area where the only time you would leave a dish would be in those circumstances. Here, if you go to a "potluck" type event with a reusable dish, you take your own dish home and wash it yourself. I've seen threads here where people think that is the height of rudeness.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:37 PM   #23
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I have never heard of that. It doesn't make sense...if you are making something for someone because they need a little help (new baby, death in the family, etc.) you expect them to make you something in return? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I don't get that at all.
ITA. Why would I expect someone who is grieving or sick or dealing with cleaning out their mom's house to make ME a dish? I don't need the help, they do.

When I make a dish, I always use a disposable pan so they can just throw it out and don't even have to go to the trouble to wash it.
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Old 07-24-2008, 02:48 PM   #24
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I think it is a sweet idea to return it with something else in it

but the reason people usually bring you a dish of food is because your family is having some problem... death or major illness or maybe it is a happy occasion like moving to a new home or the birth of a baby.

In any case- most of the time- the dish of food is brought to take the load off the individual. If you have to return all dishes full- then it may take a while to return them- especially if you have a major ordeal going on.

what I usually do- is deliver the food in a disposable container- or in a plate/dish to be given to the recipient- with a "keep the dish" comment when delivered.

I don't expect anything in return that way
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:02 PM   #25
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I have never heard of that rule either. Seems very silly to me. Glad I don't know anyone who expects a gift in return for another gift. Seems like an endless circle of food giving.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:20 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goofy's friends View Post
My grandma made cookies for us one Valentine's Day and I cleaned the dish and returned it and she acted all put out and asked if I'd eer heard that rule! NO! I hadn't!!! Seems silly to give a gift and expect something in return!
I agree. It's like dumping it on the person you're gifting to gift back. I'd much rather get and give gifts when the giver isn't suddenly handed the requirement of baking something in return.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:53 PM   #27
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I do it.. Never return an empty dish. If I take leftovers, get a birthday cake, get a "hey - i thought you'd love this dish" present, I always send the dish back clean with something else usually on disposable. A small batch of homemade cookies, a few cupcakes, even a specialty food product that I know the person loves.

However - I never expect anyone else to follow this rule, especially if given due to a hardship. Most of the people I know never heard of it. If I do get something back, it's a pleasant surprise and usually sparks a conversation about this rule.

I guess if I was on the recieving end of a dish for something like a funeral (where it was a help to me, not an actual gift) I probably wouldn't feel obligated. Thankfully, I've never been in that position.

I, personally, love the rule. It's a very easy, rather personal way to say thank you.
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:46 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loco4dis View Post
I always return the plate clean, but I've never heard of reciprocating on the food. It's a sweet idea, though. It sounds kind of small townish or perhaps southern?

I was taught to return a dish and return the favor; never return the dish empty. Never return the dish dirty. The only acceptable exception to this rule was food brought to some in need (funeral, hospitalization something like that). I was raised in Michigan in a community of about 30,000 people. My friend from Indianapolis was raised the sme way.

This custom was usually for sharing baked goods or excess from large gatherings. I think there is so much more available in the way of disposable storage that the custom had all but disappeared.
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:59 PM   #29
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i always return the dish (clean) with something on it. so no, you are not the only one taught to do that.
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:00 PM   #30
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I was taught to wash it clean and put a thank you note with it
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