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Old 11-13-2006, 04:00 PM   #1
mishasmom
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Feeling Guilty

My husband's brother was just killed in an accident last week. I just got back from the funeral yesterday. We are leaving for WDW on 12/9, and are also in the process of buying into the DVC. Our DVC paperwork just came last Wednesday, but we haven't even looked at it because my husband had already left to be with his family, and I just wasn't in the mood. I'm trying to get excited about all this again, but I feel guilty! I know my brother-in-law wouldn't want us to be sad, but of course we can't help it. This is the first time I've even been on the DIS since it happened. Any suggestions on how we can get that Disney magic back and not feel guilty about it?

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Old 11-13-2006, 05:17 PM   #2
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Do not feel guilty.....I am sure your brother in law would not want that for his brother and family..

Follow through with your plans and live each day for the moment......go for it and enjoy.. I am sure that his brother would want that for you all....and you will be honoring his memory by going forward with your plans..

The magic will be there when you get there, just get on that plane or drive and get to WDW......you are going to WDW when it is decorated for the Holidays and everyone is so cheery.....the magic will come back to you....

Hugs!!!!!
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Old 11-13-2006, 06:59 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishasmom
My husband's brother was just killed in an accident last week. I just got back from the funeral yesterday. We are leaving for WDW on 12/9, and are also in the process of buying into the DVC. Our DVC paperwork just came last Wednesday, but we haven't even looked at it because my husband had already left to be with his family, and I just wasn't in the mood. I'm trying to get excited about all this again, but I feel guilty! I know my brother-in-law wouldn't want us to be sad, but of course we can't help it. This is the first time I've even been on the DIS since it happened. Any suggestions on how we can get that Disney magic back and not feel guilty about it?


They say to celebrate death, not grieve, i personally do not know how that is possible. Don't feel guilty, just cheer up, i am sure when you arrive, you mood will lighten up a bit.

Take care.
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Old 11-14-2006, 05:50 PM   #4
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First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. Try not to feel guilty about going on your vacation. You will feel better once you get away from home. This happened to us too, only it was my father-in-law. He was sickly for a long time, and he passed away less than a week before we were supposed to go on a WDW vacation. My DH took it hard, but he insisted that we go on the trip anyway. Once we were in Disney, things got better and he was able to relax a bit. You have to live your life, and be happy while you can. Maybe you guys can buy an Epcot Leave a Legacy image in his memory?

Epcot Leave a Legacy

Take care,
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Old 11-14-2006, 09:16 PM   #5
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My thoughts to your family....

I am sure your BIL would want you to enjoy every moment of every day with the ones you cherish most. To make memories that each and every one of you will cherish forever whether together or apart. It shows life can be to short and enjoy what you have here and now. I am sure he wouldn't want you to greive over the loss of him but to rejoyce and grasp life for what it is now.
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Old 11-15-2006, 10:38 AM   #6
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What you are feeling is survivor's guilt and it's very common. I feel it every time I hear about a mom with 3 little girls who died of breast cancer or a grandfather of 10 who died. Why them? I don't have children or a large family, why is it that I am living and there are motherless children in the world? It's hard for me to understand.

It honors your BIL more to go on with your life and celebrate and enjoy your time together as a family. Try to use his passing as a way of becoming that much closer to the rest of your family and what better way than buying a piece of the Happiest Place on Earth?
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:31 PM   #7
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The night before I was leaving for my first college program, I hit two pedestrians while driving home after my dance class. At the time, I did feel guilty a bit (it wasn't my fault and I wasn't charged considering they walked out in front of my car at rush hour at a bad intersection where there is no cross walk) however, going down to WDW saved my sanity. I probably would have wound up in a hospital had I not gone down to Florida. Go and enjoy your trip. I'm sure you're brother-in-law wouldn't want you to feel guilty about it. It may even help being there to cope with the loss. Disney always has made me feel better whenever life has thrown me a curve ball. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 11-15-2006, 07:27 PM   #8
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Don't feel guilty. Disney is a great place to remember someone. Take a few quiet moments somewhere to reflect on his life. He would want you to go on living.
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Old 11-18-2006, 09:36 AM   #9
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Thanks for all your ideas and for your thoughts and prayers. I know we will have a great time once we get there, and it's probably just what we need right now!
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