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Old 07-28-2013, 07:16 PM   #1
bekkio
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Teenage DD bringing a friend?

I'm debating whether or not to allow my teenage DD to bring a friend along with us on our 7day western cruise next summer. I know we can't cover all of the expenses for her, but here is the split I was considering:

We cover:
Cruise fare & gratuities
Meals pre/post cruise
Transportation to/from port

Her family covers:
Airfare
Excursions
Spending money


What am I leaving out? I'm really hoping to be able to make this work.

TIA!
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:45 PM   #2
PrincessShmoo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bekkio View Post
I'm debating whether or not to allow my teenage DD to bring a friend along with us on our 7day western cruise next summer. I know we can't cover all of the expenses for her, but here is the split I was considering:

We cover:
Cruise fare & gratuities
Meals pre/post cruise
Transportation to/from port

Her family covers:
Airfare
Excursions
Spending money


What am I leaving out? I'm really hoping to be able to make this work.

TIA!
Does your "gratuities" include any room service tips?

How about photos, smoothies, souvenirs? Is that "spending money"?

And don't forget about getting permission for you to OK any medical treatment, if necessary. As well as passport? or certified birth certificate & photo ID?
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:45 PM   #3
RHSTigerMom
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My DD has a friend that pretty much goes on all vacations with us. She even went to the beach w/us this summer while DD was traveling abroad. On our Carnival cruise a couple if years ago, she (parents) was responsible for cruise fare and spending money. We are close enough to drive to PC so airfare wasn't an issue. We picked up any meals pre/post, it's just easier.

On our March 2014 Wonder cruise, she will be responsible for cruise and air fare since we're leaving from Miami. She and DD will both be 18 and have their own inside stateroom.
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:52 PM   #4
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OP, i think your suggested split sounds reasonable and as a parent I'd agree to that.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:21 PM   #5
brianvdb
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bekkio View Post
I'm debating whether or not to allow my teenage DD to bring a friend along with us on our 7day western cruise next summer. I know we can't cover all of the expenses for her, but here is the split I was considering:

We cover:
Cruise fare & gratuities
Meals pre/post cruise
Transportation to/from port

Her family covers:
Airfare
Excursions
Spending money


What am I leaving out? I'm really hoping to be able to make this work.

TIA!
Will you be staying at a hotel pre- or post-cruise?

"Spending money" on the ship will mean using a KTTW card. Will the friend's KTTW have charging privileges? Are you going to ask that the parents attach their credit card to their daughter's KTTW card? Might make things a little easier in case of an unexpected expense (i.e. trip to the medical center).
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:22 PM   #6
TheLanes
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I thought if you invite someone, you pay for it all. If they ask to come, then that split makes more sense
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:29 PM   #7
zippingalong
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We've taken our DDs friend with us for years. I've always paid for everything, but this year, I just asked her mom to chip in $500.

But, the $500 is for 2 nights at Disney eating onsite, a day at Typhoon Lagoon and a 7 night cruise on the Fantasy in concierge including excursions.

She won't pay for anything on the trip except shopping.

I've never asked for money before, but this trip is super expensive and I figured if it covered tips and excursions it was all good.

Her parents didn't have a problem with it.

BTW, we leave for Disney Wednesday!
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:34 PM   #8
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I thought if you invite someone, you pay for it all. If they ask to come, then that split makes more sense
That's very generous of you! Most people expect to pay the extra costs that would be incurred, like airfare. I'd also expect the friend to pay the cruise fare since it is an extra fare that wouldn't be incurred if the child didn't come. I wouldn't expect the extra child to pay for gas or luggage tips, meals on the way.

My daughter just traveled with a friend and I paid her airfare and they paid the rest, which I thought was more than nice. It didn't cost them any extra for the place they stayed in (St. Maarten) but they did pay a lot for meals and my daughter said they went on Rhinos (probably not much extra to get a 3 person, not a 2 person) and jet skis.

Nancy
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:37 PM   #9
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WOW! If one of my kids was going on a cruise with a friend I would expect to pay for their cruise fare, transportation and spending money.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:43 PM   #10
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WOW! If one of my kids was going on a cruise with a friend I would expect to pay for their cruise fare, transportation and spending money.
Me too!
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:49 PM   #11
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WOW! If one of my kids was going on a cruise with a friend I would expect to pay for their cruise fare, transportation and spending money.
Well,it started years ago, I got a "Kids Sale Free" deal on the Wonder and let my daughter bring a friend...It didn't cost me much except taxes and tips and such..not much money.

From there, she's just brought someone. Sometimes (like this year) it's expensive... but I want my DD to have fun, and I like that my DH and I also get some adult time without worrying about my teen being "bored".

I guess my daughter's friend is pretty lucky...She's been on multiple cruises, (Disney, CCL and RCCL), the Poly, BWV, AKL multiple times...I just like my daughter having fun. And if it makes it more fun for her to have company and I can do it, I'll pay for it.
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Old 07-28-2013, 11:31 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by neg58 View Post

That's very generous of you! Most people expect to pay the extra costs that would be incurred, like airfare. I'd also expect the friend to pay the cruise fare since it is an extra fare that wouldn't be incurred if the child didn't come. I wouldn't expect the extra child to pay for gas or luggage tips, meals on the way.

My daughter just traveled with a friend and I paid her airfare and they paid the rest, which I thought was more than nice. It didn't cost them any extra for the place they stayed in (St. Maarten) but they did pay a lot for meals and my daughter said they went on Rhinos (probably not much extra to get a 3 person, not a 2 person) and jet skis.

Nancy
It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay. If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:20 AM   #13
lilpooh108
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It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay. If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
I guess it depends on the people you're friends with. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for my daughter's entire cruise fare even if she were invited. I'd expect a pretty even split and would speak realistically to the other parent about what we can afford or not since they'd be taking her on an "extra" vacation that wasn't a part of our family plan.

I personally wouldn't find it offensive at all if another mom came to me with an even split idea. I would be flattered that their family wanted to take DD on vacation. Whether I'd consent to it is a different matter.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:32 AM   #14
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I guess it depends on the people you're friends with. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for my daughter's entire cruise fare even if she were invited. ...
I agree with this totally
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:16 AM   #15
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It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay.
I think that's true for things like a movie or a trip to Great America or a nearby water park. A full-blown vacation is a whole different animal. I know that for those of us who ask the other family to kick-in toward their child's expensive vacation don't particularly like being told that we are rude or the we don't have good manners. We are just trying to share our family's experience within our own economic constraints.
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If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
Yup! That's the best way to do it if you are not paying for everything .
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