My MIL stole my kitchen!!! - The DIS Discussion Forums

DisneyCrazyMomma · 02-10-2013, 04:06 PM

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

dakcp2001 · 02-10-2013, 04:08 PM

Yikes. That is pretty horrid. Maybe wait and see how it turns out and then tweak your design! She can be the rough draft.

EMom · 02-10-2013, 04:13 PM

When I was about 6, the families of two girls I was in class with each built a house located next to each other. The first mom picked out exactly what she wanted in colors, decorating features, etc. The second mom's house was a bit behind hers schedule-wise. When the second mom's house started to be built, the first mom went to see it and it was TOTALLY done in every single thing Mom #1 had selected. Different floor plan, but everything that could be selected was identical. She gritched about that for years and I can see why.

StitchesGr8Fan · 02-10-2013, 04:15 PM

I did this to my mom. She had her kitchen remodeled in 2003. When I built my townhouse in 2005 I picked similar cabinets and a similar looking countertop. It helped my transition from there house to my house and made my new place feel more like home.

mamacatnv · 02-10-2013, 04:17 PM

I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"

Janepod · 02-10-2013, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamacatnv

I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"

I agree. If she bought the same clothes you wanted (meaning, there would be a chance of the two of you showing up in the same outfit), then maybe there's something to get annoyed about. But the same kitchen in two different houses? No big deal.

Robbi · 02-10-2013, 04:22 PM

My friend had tiles custom painted for her kitchen. Her SIL asked if it was ok to bring her mom over to see the quality of the painting. The mom got another artist to paint the identical tiles for her kitchen. It was not a pretty scene between the SILs for a while. I told friend to back off because her SIL had zero idea that her mom would do this.

DisneyCrazyMomma · 02-10-2013, 04:25 PM

I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.

tvguy · 02-10-2013, 04:19 PM

I have no problem with that. Now, a friend's mother has a habit of "borrowing" items from her kitchen that never seem to make it back. You'd think that a 75 year old woman who raised 3 kids would have every pot and pan she needed, especially now that she lives alone, but apparently not.

My favorite was 2 years ago, she "borrowed" her daughter's Christmas tree.

ilovemk76 · 02-10-2013, 05:03 PM

Who cares?

Skywalker · 02-10-2013, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilovemk76

Who cares?

I agree. I mean really. It sounds petty to me. This sort of thing would not be on my radar nor would I care if I did find out. How does it effect you? Are you in some sort of decoratinng competition where you are afraid she will steal first prize from you?

DisneyCrazyMomma · 02-10-2013, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soulsearching

20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.

Thanks for sharing! As do I realize it's not the end of the world. This is my husbands mother, so it 's not like I'm going to write her off or anything....

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunDanceSkate

My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.

Are we related?

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephMK

Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.

She had another color scheme all picked out, and ran it by me. I was trying to give her my honest opinion, and told her I thought that color she chose might clash with her countertops. Thought I was helping. Now I wish I'd just said I LOVE IT!

TLSnell1981 · 02-10-2013, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma

.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

wiigirl · 02-10-2013, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TLSnell1981

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

Agreed...but still no one likes a copycat. :P

LBIJim · 02-10-2013, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TLSnell1981

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

Indeed, she must know you have good taste.

Jim

02-10-2013, 04:15 PM	#4
StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,908	I did this to my mom. She had her kitchen remodeled in 2003. When I built my townhouse in 2005 I picked similar cabinets and a similar looking countertop. It helped my transition from there house to my house and made my new place feel more like home. __________________ '86-offsite, '91-Buena Vista Palace, '92-offsite, '97-offsite, '98-Magic Music Days, '06-ASMu, '07-FtW, '09-ASMu,'10-POR,'12-Poly (Honeymoon!)

02-10-2013, 04:17 PM	#5
mamacatnv I am the queen of straw! Almost anything can be fixed with pasta Do my DH's "Shorty Shorts" count? I go in search of code! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Central Texas Y'all by way of N. Nevada Posts: 8,912	I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc. I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that" __________________ MamaCatNV DH54 Me46DS 23 DD14 Baxter, Simon & Deck'Ster POFQ-1/1-1/9/07, ASMu-Dec 05/Jan 06 ASSp-Dec 99/Jan 00 Turn of the Century Thanks AidensMom

02-10-2013, 04:25 PM	#8
DisneyCrazyMomma DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 556	I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting. __________________ DH Me DS and our furry little friend lots of miles each way to the mouse! 2009 room at CBR, 2010 room at CBR, 2011 Wilderness Lodge and three trips as a kid all offsite.

02-10-2013, 04:19 PM	#9
tvguy Sailed on:The Mermoz, Norway, Nordic Prince, Sovereign of the Seas, Amsterdam, Magic & Pride of America Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Carmichael, California Posts: 14,963	I have no problem with that. Now, a friend's mother has a habit of "borrowing" items from her kitchen that never seem to make it back. You'd think that a 75 year old woman who raised 3 kids would have every pot and pan she needed, especially now that she lives alone, but apparently not. My favorite was 2 years ago, she "borrowed" her daughter's Christmas tree. __________________

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02-10-2013, 04:06 PM	#1
DisneyCrazyMomma DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 556	My MIL stole my kitchen!!! Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have. My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering. Seriously, WHO DOES THAT? __________________ DH Me DS and our furry little friend lots of miles each way to the mouse! 2009 room at CBR, 2010 room at CBR, 2011 Wilderness Lodge and three trips as a kid all offsite.

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02-10-2013, 04:08 PM	#2
dakcp2001 Am I wrong to want a cashier and bagger? Chicken wings are his crack Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 4,470	Yikes. That is pretty horrid. Maybe wait and see how it turns out and then tweak your design! She can be the rough draft.

02-10-2013, 04:13 PM	#3
EMom Comes from a long line of all fork hole pokers I had the auburn haired Chrissy doll whose hair grew. She lost most of it in an incense fire. Don't ask Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 5,711	When I was about 6, the families of two girls I was in class with each built a house located next to each other. The first mom picked out exactly what she wanted in colors, decorating features, etc. The second mom's house was a bit behind hers schedule-wise. When the second mom's house started to be built, the first mom went to see it and it was TOTALLY done in every single thing Mom #1 had selected. Different floor plan, but everything that could be selected was identical. She gritched about that for years and I can see why.

02-10-2013, 04:22 PM	#7
Robbi DIS Veteran Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 1,799	My friend had tiles custom painted for her kitchen. Her SIL asked if it was ok to bring her mom over to see the quality of the painting. The mom got another artist to paint the identical tiles for her kitchen. It was not a pretty scene between the SILs for a while. I told friend to back off because her SIL had zero idea that her mom would do this.

02-10-2013, 05:03 PM	#10
ilovemk76 DIS Veteran Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 2,648	Who cares?