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Old 02-10-2013, 04:06 PM   #1
DisneyCrazyMomma
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My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

Okay, so a little backstory - we bought our house about six years ago. We love it, and there is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is a little dated. We have been slowly updating as we can, and finally saved up some money to redo the kitchen. Not a total redo - refacing the cabinets, painting and adding some backsplash for now. Oh, and a new window treatment. We are really excited and I put a lot of time and research into what I wanted, and how to get the most for the money we have.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:08 PM   #2
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Yikes. That is pretty horrid. Maybe wait and see how it turns out and then tweak your design! She can be the rough draft.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:13 PM   #3
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When I was about 6, the families of two girls I was in class with each built a house located next to each other. The first mom picked out exactly what she wanted in colors, decorating features, etc. The second mom's house was a bit behind hers schedule-wise. When the second mom's house started to be built, the first mom went to see it and it was TOTALLY done in every single thing Mom #1 had selected. Different floor plan, but everything that could be selected was identical. She gritched about that for years and I can see why.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:15 PM   #4
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I did this to my mom. She had her kitchen remodeled in 2003. When I built my townhouse in 2005 I picked similar cabinets and a similar looking countertop. It helped my transition from there house to my house and made my new place feel more like home.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:17 PM   #5
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I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacatnv View Post
I don't see what the issue is? She liked your ideas and chose to use them in her home. Isn't that what we all basically do when we look at magazines etc. We copy fashion, color schemes, decorating, vacation plans etc.

I guess I don't see how its so horrible - tons and tons of people "do that"
I agree. If she bought the same clothes you wanted (meaning, there would be a chance of the two of you showing up in the same outfit), then maybe there's something to get annoyed about. But the same kitchen in two different houses? No big deal.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:22 PM   #7
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My friend had tiles custom painted for her kitchen. Her SIL asked if it was ok to bring her mom over to see the quality of the painting. The mom got another artist to paint the identical tiles for her kitchen. It was not a pretty scene between the SILs for a while. I told friend to back off because her SIL had zero idea that her mom would do this.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:25 PM   #8
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I guess everyone takes things differently. Same clothes wouldn't bother me at all. It's mostly just her, she has done some TERRIBLE things to her son, and our son. She isn't a nice person. We saved and waited and worked REALLY hard for this, and she's doing the same things and doing them faster than us. You either get it, or you don't. I was just venting.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:19 PM   #9
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I have no problem with that. Now, a friend's mother has a habit of "borrowing" items from her kitchen that never seem to make it back. You'd think that a 75 year old woman who raised 3 kids would have every pot and pan she needed, especially now that she lives alone, but apparently not.

My favorite was 2 years ago, she "borrowed" her daughter's Christmas tree.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:03 PM   #10
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Who cares?
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:48 PM   #11
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Who cares?
I agree. I mean really. It sounds petty to me. This sort of thing would not be on my radar nor would I care if I did find out. How does it effect you? Are you in some sort of decoratinng competition where you are afraid she will steal first prize from you?
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:00 PM   #12
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20 years ago my girlfriend did this to me. She bought the same living room and dining room set as I did.

My husband, just laughed and said "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

I guess she loved my decorating.

It did tick me off at first, but then I realized it was nothing to be that ticked off about. I had to let it go. We are still friends today.
Thanks for sharing! As do I realize it's not the end of the world. This is my husbands mother, so it 's not like I'm going to write her off or anything....

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My MIL, LOL. I feel for you. My MIL has not done that yet, but probably because she lives in a trailer. She has copied the last 2 cars I bought right down to the color, same clothes, same furniture. Has also been known to just take things, when we moved into a house with a gas fireplace she took my poker/broom set and screen, giving them to SIL who has alot more play money then we ever will. I bought a new set because I liked the look. Oh and a similar dog and gave her my name, that was a weird one.

I have a new set of Fiesta dishes in a unique color combo, I dread her coming over, seeing them and copying. DH like to say the flattery comment but I just find it irritating.
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Is it too late to start talking up some great new ideas you plan to use to throw her off? That would annoy me too. One idea, a certain item, ok, I can see liking the same thing. A whole kitchen, that's way too much.

If she does it, I'd visit, make some snide comments about aspects you don't like after all, then change your plans.
She had another color scheme all picked out, and ran it by me. I was trying to give her my honest opinion, and told her I thought that color she chose might clash with her countertops. Thought I was helping. Now I wish I'd just said I LOVE IT!
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:11 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma View Post
.

My mother law asked me what I had decided on, and I made the mistake of telling her what we were doing... colors and style. TWO DAYS LATER she announced she was redoing her kitchen walls and cabinets in the SAME COLORS that I am doing, and even bought the backsplash I was considering.

Seriously, WHO DOES THAT?
Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:29 PM   #14
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Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.
Agreed...but still no one likes a copycat. :P
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:47 PM   #15
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Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.
Indeed, she must know you have good taste.

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