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Old 01-27-2013, 12:54 PM   #1
tinks_1989
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Terrible twos?

I don't normally post here but I am feeling really down and stuck and I would just like a place to vent and may be receive some advice or just know hear I am not alone.

Our little Princess is nearly two (6 weeks today) and is having the terrible twos and I am finding it so hard.

I am a stay at home mum so when I moan I feel as if people are thinking. What is she moaning about it isn't that hard it isn't like she has to work as well.

We go away in 4 days (again feel like people are rolling their eyes at me that I am being ungreatful that I am going away) but instead of just the excitement I have so much anxiety that I'm not sleeping well, it is making me sick and I just feel like a rubbish mum really.

Has any one else felt/feeling like this?
How did/do you deal with it?

I am so lucky my mum and dad only live down the road and are such a great help but I don't want to rely on others all the time she is my daughter and I chose to have her I feel like I should deal with it and not just hand her over to any one else.

DH is great but is also feeling very stressed with work and still dealing with the loss of his dad.

Thank you if any one read all that it went on a bit but I do feel a bit better getting it off my chest at least.
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Old 01-27-2013, 01:15 PM   #2
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Aww hon, I dont have any advice on how to cope with a toddler, as my daughter is 22 now so I cant really remember, but I didnt want to read and run.

What I would say is stop worrying about what other people might think about a) you being a stay a home mum, and b) about going away soon, that makes no difference when your feeling a bit low and blue.

Im sure others with little un's will be along soon to try and give some advice, and I really hope you have the most magical holiday, you never know that could be the pick you up, you need
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Old 01-27-2013, 01:27 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by florida sun
Aww hon, I dont have any advice on how to cope with a toddler, as my daughter is 22 now so I cant really remember, but I didnt want to read and run.

What I would say is stop worrying about what other people might think about a) you being a stay a home mum, and b) about going away soon, that makes no difference when your feeling a bit low and blue.

Im sure others with little un's will be along soon to try and give some advice, and I really hope you have the most magical holiday, you never know that could be the pick you up, you need
Thank you I guess it must be like a labor then your mind just blocks it from your memory.

I feel as well because of my age (23) I get the glare from older people that its because I'm young. I really try my hardest with her and I don't want to keep giving in as I feel I'm making it harder for my self to say no next time.

I'm hoping it will just get easier with time. She is a bossy little madam and frustrated because she can't express exactly what she wants but is it so hard.
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Old 01-27-2013, 02:16 PM   #4
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My girls are now 20, 18 and 16 but I haven't forgotten the terrible temper tantrums my eldest used to get! She was a real nightmare child for a few months and I can remember as clear as day that I sometimes used to look at her and think I love you but I don't particularly like you!

All I can tell you is that it will pass - my eldest had definitely grown out of it by the time she started playgroup at age 3 and neither of the other two girls suffered with it to the same degree ..... or maybe I'd just got more tolerant! You're doing the most important thing by not giving in - I know it's really tough but children need consistency and firm boundaries and if you stick to this it'll all turn out OK in the end. My eldest has been lovely ever since!

Don't worry about what others think - anyone with any sense knows age has nothing to do with it. My ex-SIL had my niece a week after her 17th birthday and she was a brilliant mum. A lot of the time you think people may be giving you disapproving looks when it may be quite the opposite.

Don't worry about being a stay-at-home mum either. I worked part-time after my first two were born then after the youngest I stayed at home for 11 years before going back to work when she started secondary school. If it's what works for your family then who cares what others think.

And don't take any notice of what people think about you going away - it's your and your DH's business what you spend your money on, not theirs.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday - I expect once you're on your way then you'll start getting really excited. It sounds like it's just what you and your DH need so that you have a fantastic time.
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Old 01-27-2013, 02:55 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ware Bears


My girls are now 20, 18 and 16 but I haven't forgotten the terrible temper tantrums my eldest used to get! She was a real nightmare child for a few months and I can remember as clear as day that I sometimes used to look at her and think I love you but I don't particularly like you!

All I can tell you is that it will pass - my eldest had definitely grown out of it by the time she started playgroup at age 3 and neither of the other two girls suffered with it to the same degree ..... or maybe I'd just got more tolerant! You're doing the most important thing by not giving in - I know it's really tough but children need consistency and firm boundaries and if you stick to this it'll all turn out OK in the end. My eldest has been lovely ever since!

Don't worry about what others think - anyone with any sense knows age has nothing to do with it. My ex-SIL had my niece a week after her 17th birthday and she was a brilliant mum. A lot of the time you think people may be giving you disapproving looks when it may be quite the opposite.

Don't worry about being a stay-at-home mum either. I worked part-time after my first two were born then after the youngest I stayed at home for 11 years before going back to work when she started secondary school. If it's what works for your family then who cares what others think.

And don't take any notice of what people think about you going away - it's your and your DH's business what you spend your money on, not theirs.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday - I expect once you're on your way then you'll start getting really excited. It sounds like it's just what you and your DH need so that you have a fantastic time.
Thanks.

Just feels like I'm trying to do everything I think is right but she seems to act out more.

I know I shouldn't judge others but we go out and I see other children happily sat in their push chair's or walking along beside their mums.

She hates being restrained. Hates the car seat hates the push chair hates the highchair. In dreading the flight at the moment I wish I could just skip to Thursday night when we are all at the hotel and ready for bed.
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:30 PM   #6
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My son is nearly two and a half and is rather strong willed shall we say, so I completely feel your pain!! I dread his tantrums, he is particularly bad after a nap where he gets rather hysterical!! He has lots of tantrums when we are out and I get quite used to the stares of people!! I can remember one day him having a complete breakdown in sainsburys and just having to dump him in the trolley as I just could not get him in the seat!! All the way round I got hateful stares!! No real advice other than, they will grow out of it, he is getting better all the time. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat. Xx
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Old 01-27-2013, 03:36 PM   #7
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Aw Hun, you really are not alone loads of kids go through the terrible twos and all children respond to different methods of calming them down. You always think other people's children are better behaved than yours/they are a better parent but you then won't see them 20 minutes later having a total melt down! You are right to not give in it may be hard but will pay off in the long run. I remember when I was in nursery (and yes that was a very long time ago lol) when ever we went out as a group we all had to hold "the magic rope" there was nothing to hold but we all walked along holding on to an imaginary rope with the nursery teacher holding the start of the rope we were all so convinced we were holding a piece of magic we never let it go so never ran off! Not sure how well it will work with Elsie but may be worth a try. I'm sure you will have a lovely trip and don't worry what anyone thinks Elsie is lucky to have a mum who loves her so much xx
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:06 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Verity Chambers View Post
My son is nearly two and a half and is rather strong willed shall we say, so I completely feel your pain!! I dread his tantrums, he is particularly bad after a nap where he gets rather hysterical!! He has lots of tantrums when we are out and I get quite used to the stares of people!! I can remember one day him having a complete breakdown in sainsburys and just having to dump him in the trolley as I just could not get him in the seat!! All the way round I got hateful stares!! No real advice other than, they will grow out of it, he is getting better all the time. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat. Xx
Glad I'm not alone I do our food shopping online now after a hideous melt down over chocolate milk shake. I'm surprised we are let in shops some days.

I don't know if I need to do more with her take her to even more groups wear her out more. Just shame they don't come with a manual lol

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Aw Hun, you really are not alone loads of kids go through the terrible twos and all children respond to different methods of calming them down. You always think other people's children are better behaved than yours/they are a better parent but you then won't see them 20 minutes later having a total melt down! You are right to not give in it may be hard but will pay off in the long run. I remember when I was in nursery (and yes that was a very long time ago lol) when ever we went out as a group we all had to hold "the magic rope" there was nothing to hold but we all walked along holding on to an imaginary rope with the nursery teacher holding the start of the rope we were all so convinced we were holding a piece of magic we never let it go so never ran off! Not sure how well it will work with Elsie but may be worth a try. I'm sure you will have a lovely trip and don't worry what anyone thinks Elsie is lucky to have a mum who loves her so much xx

Ah this sounds good something I could think about. Make it about disneys magic. Everything pretty at the moment is aw wow disneys to Elsie lol.

Just feel as a parent you are always judged and pressured. If you don't breast feed. Don't use a certain type/make of nappy. If you let your littles ones eat chocolate. Let them watch tv always judged. I don't care what other parents are doing I just want to know how to deal with my own lol.
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:36 PM   #9
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Awww hun

Im so sorry I cant be of more help as I dont have any children.
From everything I have read on here, you have been nothing but a fabulous mum doing your very best at all times. Dont be thinking about what anyone else thinks or says.
Hats off to you, I can barely look after myself let alone a little un. The terrible twos arent known universally as the terrible twos for no reason. And as a previous poster has said dont look at the "perfect" child walking alongside the buggy as they are right you dont see them 20 mins later behind closed doors having a melt down because they couldnt have some chocolate!

As for the tv, chocolate etc etc your her mummy, and what ever you decide is right dont be listening to all the stuff you hear in the media for the most part they are just putting an unrealistic pressure on parents in my opinion.
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:46 PM   #10
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Hey lovely!
I don't have kids, but I work in a nursery. I have 32 3-4 yr olds everyday... but I can give them all back at the end of the day!

All I can do is echo whats already been said. My friend had a little girl the day before her 17th. My cousin has 2 children and shes not even 18. Age is just a number.

Because your holiday is coming up, youre probably a little anxious about that too! First big trip with LO. Once youre there, youll forget all about this!

And the terrible twos will go! Dont give in, its something she has to go through to experiment!

And ive seen you with elsie, youre an amazing mum!

Have a super holiday, and we'll have a coffee when you get back :-)

Xxx
Thank you Steffi

We need more then coffee lol I will probably need a holiday lol!

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Awww hun

Im so sorry I cant be of more help as I dont have any children.
From everything I have read on here, you have been nothing but a fabulous mum doing your very best at all times. Dont be thinking about what anyone else thinks or says.
Hats off to you, I can barely look after myself let alone a little un. The terrible twos arent known universally as the terrible twos for no reason. And as a previous poster has said dont look at the "perfect" child walking alongside the buggy as they are right you dont see them 20 mins later behind closed doors having a melt down because they couldnt have some chocolate!

As for the tv, chocolate etc etc your her mummy, and what ever you decide is right dont be listening to all the stuff you hear in the media for the most part they are just putting an unrealistic pressure on parents in my opinion.
Thank you I love the DIS and just being able to rant on here with out people having to see me crying and a mess
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:31 PM   #11
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Hey lovely!
I don't have kids, but I work in a nursery. I have 32 3-4 yr olds everyday... but I can give them all back at the end of the day!

All I can do is echo whats already been said. My friend had a little girl the day before her 17th. My cousin has 2 children and shes not even 18. Age is just a number.

Because your holiday is coming up, youre probably a little anxious about that too! First big trip with LO. Once youre there, youll forget all about this!

And the terrible twos will go! Dont give in, its something she has to go through to experiment!

And ive seen you with elsie, youre an amazing mum!

Have a super holiday, and we'll have a coffee when you get back :-)

Xxx
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Old 01-27-2013, 05:08 PM   #12
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Terrible Twos oh yes im there! I really found it hard as im generally such a pushover.

The best thing i found with Megan is distraction! I learned to recognise when shes going to kick off and distract her with something else. Try to get her involved with what your doing.if i absoutely had yo ho shopping id ask her to help me find sonething. Or draw her a shopping list (pictures of carrots etc) and get her yo tell me whats next.

You'll find ways of coping and it really is just a phase. Megan is 3 in 3months and mostly back to being an angel
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Old 01-27-2013, 05:38 PM   #13
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My DD is older now but our first trip with her to disney was when she was 23 months.

I have some fantastic memories of that trip.

I think the best advice for the holiday is to go with the flow. DD ended up sleeping in late and staying up late and we went with it. It wasn't at all like I had planned though.

I know it is hard when you've planned things but sometimes the best memories are from the little stuff.

I remember DD throwing her dummy to the ducks near the castle and DH having to hop over the fence to get it, DD saying horsey and me looking and thinking what horse - she had noticed the posts had horses heads on - I hadn't. Asking to get off 'the bus' (the plane!) - somewhere over the atlantic..

When you are back in the real world I always found being out and about with DD easier - she used to love going to story time at the library (free), a music class, swimming. I used to try and do one thing a day on the days it was just me and her.
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Old 01-27-2013, 05:43 PM   #14
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2 other lifesavers that trip were a winnie pooh backpack with reigns on and a spot the dog dvd - 'hello spot..spot hello' - both got hours of use

Anyone who says their 2 year old never had tantrums has a poor memory.
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Old 01-27-2013, 06:10 PM   #15
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Oh God, how I feel your pain! My daughter is 23 now but how I cringe with shame when I remember what an absolute pain in the butt she was - but I guess we all have to go through it. On holiday it was easier to cope with because I had husband and many other new things to distract her with. At home I had a lovely network of other mums with same age children that we could share experiences with. I can't tell you how many times other people scowled at me when she kicked off, but I did learn to just ignore them. Just remember it is a normal stage of development.

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