Dress Stress

[DisneyDudet]

I haven't even been able to call and book my Escape Wedding with DFTW (Monday is my 9 month day...) and I'm already stressing over a dress. I know dresses are a process, but I HATE trying on clothes, much less a dress. I have been known to cry in dressing rooms if that tells you anything.

I am 5'2" and on the bigger side (I think, but I'm usually told otherwise). My bra size is 36DD, depending on the bra. My rear-end is full, which is where most of my weight is. I have a VERY curvy body and a bit of a tummy.

With that being said... what should I look for in a dress? Support is necessary, because I do not want to keep pulling up my dress all day. My arms aren't big or flabby, but they do rest against my sides were my bust is, so they kind of flatten out and look bigger than they are. Both of our families are conservative, with my fiancé's family being more conservative, so sexy-sweet isn't really an option. I'm not into trains or lace or anything like that. I want simple, but classy.

So, I'd like straps, if possible. I have been looking online and think that A-Line with or without pick-ups look to be the most flattering. I have been reading all about which styles would go with certain body types. My IDEAL dress is a tea-length dress, but my fiancé does not like the idea (we watch Say Yes to the Dress and look at bridal magazines, so I get his opinion without really asking). He is quite traditional... but I'm not so much.

Any tips that will help reduce my stress that I've created for myself? I don't want to hate the process, but I'm afraid that I will because I hate my body.

[lurkyloo]

OK, if sexy is out, then I guess mermaid and other figure-hugging styles are also out, but they can be really flattering if your curves are in the right places (mine sure as heck aren't!).

You might want to avoid pickups, which can sometimes make petite and busty brides look like cake toppers, and I'd look for an A-line style that drapes rather than falls in a stiff, straight "A" from hip to floor (which could create another cake-topper look for those with legs less than a mile long—I'm almost 6 feet tall and still manage to look dumpy in 'em!).

A corset top could be good for support and nice definition of those curves. Depending on how you feel about your shoulders, a halter top might also be flattering.

All that said, it's always a good idea to try on at least one of each different kind of style (ball gown, sheath, mermaid, A-line, etc.) because sometimes you'll discover what actually looks good on you is different from what you expect to look good on you.

If you're overwhelmed, choosing your favorite feature and playing it up is a great way to focus your dress search. I just wasn't finding anything that screamed "The One" to me, so I decided to look for "The One... That Makes My Waist Look Smallest," and it made wading through all the styles a whole lot easier.

Hope this helps! Is there someone who can go with you for moral support and pep talks?

[DisneyDudet]

Originally Posted by lurkyloo

Hope this helps! Is there someone who can go with you for moral support and pep talks?

There really isn't anyone that can talk me out of a really bad funk. I know I need to go after eating something so my blood sugar isn't low (I tend to get highly emotional when that happens) and after some sleep. My mom and dad will both want to be a part of the wedding dress shopping, and many of my close friends are too busy and I don't want to bother them. We are not going to have a wedding party, so I don't have a maid of honor or anything. Even if I has an honorary wedding party, they are the ladies that I just don't want to bother. I'm an only child and am not close to my fiancé's sisters either.

I really don't know if there is feature that I would want to concentrate on, as I'm not exactly happy with anything, and any feature that would be concentrated on, really don't need any help standing out

From what I've read, an A-line is my best option, as it will hide the curves that don't go in my favor I didn't think about how pick-ups may make me look like that, I was just hoping it would bring the focus down to the dress, rather than on my body, plus if they pick-ups are high enough, they could maybe help cover my unflattering bits. I guess I will just have to try...

I guess I'm just going to have to get over the fact that I may have to try on dozens of dresses and realize that it isn't just ME that can't find a perfect dress. I just don't want to get too overwhelmed with it, because I can see it happening.

[angelbear425]

You sound like me size and shape wise. I would stick to something a-line, with maybe a thick sleeveless strap.

[That Mom]

I have just gone through the dress shopping ordeal with my dd. I want to point out that you can add straps/sleeves to a strapless dress if you prefer. The sight of brides constantly pulling at their dress is not something we wanted.
Also, don't be afraid to try dresses that are different styles than you think you want, they look very different on you than on the hanger.
One last thing, when you are at a dress shop trying on we have found the other bride's families to be very friendly and will offer their opinions to help you get an unbiased feel for what looks best. Good luck!

[bradleyjess]

I agree! An A-line, halter with a corset would be flattering!

The halter will give your chest support, the corset will give your waist definition and the a-line can hide parts you don't want to show

Good luck! You'll find something beautiful!

[gamberlane]

Oh goodness, I went through this too!
You always hear about how wedding dress shopping is magical and you find the perfect thing and you cry, blah blah blah. I am not sure how anyone can feel magical when they make you "imagine" what a dress would look like in your size and clip it to your underwear in the back. That doesn't make me feel beautiful at all.

I have no idea what dress size you wear, but if you are plus sized you may want to look into finding a store that specializes in that. Bridal stores can be really frustrating because you go in and they have hundreds of dresses and then they point you to the 5 plus size dresses and only 2 of those will zip up because for whatever reason bridal sizing is usually 2 sizes smaller than what you'd wear normally...because THAT makes you feel beautiful on your special day. Ugh.

I also have a conservative family, one that thinks anything sleeveless is not appropriate public attire for anyone in their immediate family...so trying to find a wedding dress with a sleeve? Yeah, I gave up after 3 different stores and only ONE dress between them with a sleeve and it was a size 6. And the girls at David's Bridal acted like we were crazy, like "these nuts want a SLEEVE on a wedding dress, who do they think they are?". So, I designed my own and took it to a dress maker and I am having the exact dress I want made to exactly my size, and paying $600 for it. So don't get disheartened. You don't have to settle! You have options!

PS - I am doing an illusion neckline on my dress, so I can have the princess neckline I like, but have it covered with lace for a more conservative appearance. This might be a nice compromise for what you want and what your conservative in-laws would like.

[XxsmortzxX]

I agree with the others that an A-Line will probably be the one. Even though you say you want straps, do not rule out strapless dresses. I say this because if you find an A-Line dress with ruching(layers, that often flatter a curvy, busty body) but it is strapless, they can add straps in alterations! Also, you could get capped sleeves, halters, or a jacket done in alterations! Ask for a sample one when you try on dresses, so you can try on a strapless and then put the jacket/sleeve over it and get a picture of what it would look like.
On a side note, I am a bit busty and curvy. I used to be athletic but after an injury my muscle turned into laziness. Lol. That being said, I went and bought a thigh to high-waist shaper to wear under the slip. I also bought a corset bra to get rid of any side curves I did not want. You might want to look into one of these. They are available at Costco, Victoria Secret, Torrid, JC Pennys, and Macys... Pretty much any clothing store that has a good lingerie, undergarment department.

I hope this helps!

[itsmebabygi]

Just make sure you read dress shop reviews before you head out. It can be more important than the dress style even. A good dress shop will help you find the best fit and shape, so I would find a place you are comfortable with and be open minded. Good luck!

[mb187143]

Also if you can, try to make a weekday appointment at a shop. The weekdays are much less crowded. I was uncomfortable trying on dresses in front of 25-30 strangers on a Saturday at David's bridal. I went during the week and also went to Alfred Angelo (where I got my dress from) and felt much more comfortable there with no one else in the store but my group.

[Pandora5]

Sorry to hear about your ordeal. I'm going through a bit of that as well. I would love to lose quite a few to fit into the dress that we've fallen in love with and, while the thought of having to find another to fit my size is really depressing, I just have faith that I will find the one I'm meant to wear.

I agree with those who said you just have to keep pushing and try on different styles. I've found a few that I thought I would like, googled for images on REAL people instead of the models and completely changed my mind - so that may help you as well.

I'd love to see what you end up with if you don't mind posting pics. =)

[SugarPlumFairyUK]

Originally Posted by DisneyDudet

I haven't even been able to call and book my Escape Wedding with DFTW (Monday is my 9 month day...) and I'm already stressing over a dress. I know dresses are a process, but I HATE trying on clothes, much less a dress. I have been known to cry in dressing rooms if that tells you anything.

I am 5'2" and on the bigger side (I think, but I'm usually told otherwise). My bra size is 36DD, depending on the bra. My rear-end is full, which is where most of my weight is. I have a VERY curvy body and a bit of a tummy.

With that being said... what should I look for in a dress? Support is necessary, because I do not want to keep pulling up my dress all day. My arms aren't big or flabby, but they do rest against my sides were my bust is, so they kind of flatten out and look bigger than they are. Both of our families are conservative, with my fiancé's family being more conservative, so sexy-sweet isn't really an option. I'm not into trains or lace or anything like that. I want simple, but classy.

So, I'd like straps, if possible. I have been looking online and think that A-Line with or without pick-ups look to be the most flattering. I have been reading all about which styles would go with certain body types. My IDEAL dress is a tea-length dress, but my fiancé does not like the idea (we watch Say Yes to the Dress and look at bridal magazines, so I get his opinion without really asking). He is quite traditional... but I'm not so much.

Any tips that will help reduce my stress that I've created for myself? I don't want to hate the process, but I'm afraid that I will because I hate my body.

go for a maxi style with a tulle skirt. there's no train to make you look smaller and the nipped in waist elongates your upper body. Also they can have straps. The tulle and full maxi skirt will also hide any bumpy bits there's no shame in bumpy bits and we all have them if we're honest

[rphelps27]

I agree with everyone else when they say try on different styles. I was so set on a ball gown and I wanted it big and "salsa" like (I used to salsa dance) and I said absolutely no lace. I hate clothes shopping and rarely find anything I like so I was totally dreading the wedding dress experience.
I actually loved trying on wedding dresses, I wore spanx which made me feel more comfortable while the sales woman was all about my business in the dressing room. I tried on almost 60 dresses and finally decided to try on a different style... a slim A with lace and that was the one. I would definitely go during the week as well. With no one in the store, the sales people can give you the proper attention that you deserve.
Don't let this discourage you and remember, your fiance loves you just the way you are!
Good Luck!

[chris31997]

Originally Posted by DisneyDudet

I haven't even been able to call and book my Escape Wedding with DFTW (Monday is my 9 month day...) and I'm already stressing over a dress. I know dresses are a process, but I HATE trying on clothes, much less a dress. I have been known to cry in dressing rooms if that tells you anything.

I am 5'2" and on the bigger side (I think, but I'm usually told otherwise). My bra size is 36DD, depending on the bra. My rear-end is full, which is where most of my weight is. I have a VERY curvy body and a bit of a tummy.

With that being said... what should I look for in a dress? Support is necessary, because I do not want to keep pulling up my dress all day. My arms aren't big or flabby, but they do rest against my sides were my bust is, so they kind of flatten out and look bigger than they are. Both of our families are conservative, with my fiancé's family being more conservative, so sexy-sweet isn't really an option. I'm not into trains or lace or anything like that. I want simple, but classy.

So, I'd like straps, if possible. I have been looking online and think that A-Line with or without pick-ups look to be the most flattering. I have been reading all about which styles would go with certain body types. My IDEAL dress is a tea-length dress, but my fiancé does not like the idea (we watch Say Yes to the Dress and look at bridal magazines, so I get his opinion without really asking). He is quite traditional... but I'm not so much.

Any tips that will help reduce my stress that I've created for myself? I don't want to hate the process, but I'm afraid that I will because I hate my body.

Definatly differant styles. You can add straps and modesty pieces to most. I have worn dresses that looked on the hanger but when I put them on, the dress made me look good.

To add a little punch to your dress for your personality, think some color bling and some funky crazy wild shoes

[lissies98]

I have purchased 3 dresses already! Seriously I know this is wrong but I just am not happy with what I have! I am going with a 2007 design because it has the Cinderella blue on the corset and train. The others will hang happily in my closet until my girls get married if by chance the want them lol