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Old 12-13-2012, 08:23 PM   #1
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Assault At School Question

My son is a senior in high school, he is 19 due to repeating a grade. He was in gym class a few days ago, playing basketball. Another boy shot a ball and it rebounded off the hoop, hitting a girl on top of the head. All the kids laughed, which I don't think was appropriate, including my son. The girl came after my son accusing him of hitting her with the ball. He denied hitting her and tried to walk away. She pursued him and shoved him against the wall and proceeded to grab his testicles and squeeze as hard as she could. He tried to push her off and the both tripped, falling to the floor. He tried to get up and she bit him, hard on the ribs. it broke the skin and he is still bruised and you can see the individual teeth marks 3 days later. He was able to get away and told he told her to back off.

He didn't tell us until late that night. He didn't report it at school either. His school has a zero tolerance policy and he was scared to get suspended, even though he didn't retaliate. His school also has quite a bullying/gang problem. He told me their saying is, "Snitches get stitches."

We went to the school the next morning and reported the whole incident to the assistant principal, the principal was in a meeting. He listened to my son's explanation and took pictures of the bite. He said he would need to question the girl and all the students in the class, because the substitute teacher had left the class unattended.

He questioned the girl, who said they were just playing. He told her that she was obviously not telling the truth and sent her back to class. He then questioned the other students. They all said my son did nothing other than try to get away from her. A few said it looked as if he had her in a head lock, but they couldn't really tell. My son was asked to tell the story again and was asked if he put her in a head lock. He said that he hadn't, that he was just hunched over trying to keep her from hurting his testicles any worse.

He was called in again today and asked to repeat the story to the principal. He told him the same things. The principal then says that they are in a touchy situation because the girl is 15 and there was no adult there.

I am really angry. It isn't my son's fault that he was assaulted or that the teacher wasn't there. I'm mad that the teacher left thirty kids alone in gym class. My son shouldn't have to be afraid of retaliation from other students, the school, or this girl's family if they decide they want to file a warrant on him as a grudge. I really don't care about her age, although the law will, she attacked him.

What should I do? Should I take a juvenile petition out on this girl? She was suspended for 5 days. Should I speak with an attorney? I will, money is tight, but I will do what's necessary. I'm sorry this is so long, just need some advice.
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:52 PM   #2
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Holy cow I would be LIVID!! Maybe you should start with speaking directly with the principal? Talk to him specifically about the incident and what is going to happen from here on out. She was suspended for 5 days but allowed back at school? Is there going to be further punishment or is it just left at that? If he doesn't or can't give you the answers you want and the reassurance you need then I would definitely speak with an attorney just to cover your bases. Perhaps you can even find one who can talk to you without charging you unless you actually need them?
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:53 PM   #3
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At this point, I'd say do nothing. Sounds like the girl knows she was wrong & also knows she got away with it. The witnesses back up your son's story, so I wouldn't expect anything more to come of it.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:21 PM   #4
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First, where was the gym teacher??

I would just let it go. School is almost over for him and it was just a scuffle, not anything truly serious. I'm quite surprised a guy and a girl would get into it in the first place but it sounds like that is quite a unique school. lol
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:05 AM   #5
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What is your problem? The girl bit him and squeezed his testicles. This is not just a scuffle. This is sexual abuse. I'm sure if this was done to a girl, and some guy was squeezing the girl's va* gi* na* people would have a different opinion. It's so sad we live in a world where girls can torment boys, with absolutely no consequences. I would seriously report this to the police or transfer him to another HS. I can't understand why this HS is not doing anything to suspend that girl.
The OP said the girl was suspended for 5 days - I think that is a punishment! I don't think this is sexual abuse. None of us were there, but girls have always been told that, in self defense with a male, to go for the nads. It's not sexual - it's a defense move.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:10 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by mjkacmom View Post
The OP said the girl was suspended for 5 days - I think that is a punishment! I don't think this is sexual abuse. None of us were there, but girls have always been told that, in self defense with a male, to go for the nads. It's not sexual - it's a defense move.

She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:13 AM   #7
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She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
I'm really shocked that none of the other kids tried to help him
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:16 AM   #8
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She attacked him and went straight for his testicles. He was trying to walk away. How exactly was that defense on her part? If he were attacking her, she would have every right to do whatever was necessary. She was trying to hurt him, not defend herself. If someone grabs or fondles you, it is a sexual assault.
I'm not saying she was defending herself. However, I equal grabbing him there to poking him in the eyes - a move to hurt a lot. She was reacting in a way where she felt she needed to retaliate for a hurt she thought he caused. However, if she fondled him, yes, I would say that was sexual assault.

If the situation was reversed, and your ds grabbed her chest, trying to hurt her/defend himself, that might be sexual assault, because there are no self defense classes that indicate that assulting a woman's breasts will help in self defense.

I do think this girl is troubled, and got what she deserved. I don't think she should be on the sex offender list because of her actions.
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Old 12-14-2012, 03:10 AM   #9
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She was suspended starting today, for 5 days, but they are still questioning my son because the teacher wasn't there. It doesn't seem to matter to them that all the students said my son was innocent. The principal even told my son he would have to watch the security tapes. There are no cameras in that part of the gym. It ticks me off that he's trying to intimidate my son by saying that it's a sticky situation due to her age. And the bad thing is, a juvenile record is sealed, it wouldn't follow her or make trouble for her, but if she decided to get even by filing a warrant against my kid, it would follow him forever.
I understand being upset about the age thing. But I agree the fact that your son is 19 and she is 15 could work against him. I hate to say it but I would worry that if you do anything further, the family will retaliate and could really make things difficult for your son. It's not fair and it is not right but that doesn't seem to be a problem for this girl. Think very carefully before going any further. I would hate for this to backfire on him if you pursue it. Good luck.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:29 PM   #10
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I'd be really mad too! She did get a 5 day suspension though and I think I'd leave it at that regarding further dealings with her. I might ask the principal to be sure to instruct the gym teacher and any other teacher in the school NOT to leave a class unattended. Teachers in our schools are not allowed to leave classes unattended. They send a responsible student to the office to ask for assistance IF they absolutely have to leave the room. In this case, the teachers negligence caused your son to get assaulted. The principal will not tell you if he's disciplined the teacher but you can ask him to guarantee he's made the teacher aware and requested that they not leave the classroom.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:28 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by LJSquishy
First, where was the gym teacher??

I would just let it go. School is almost over for him and it was just a scuffle, not anything truly serious. I'm quite surprised a guy and a girl would get into it in the first place but it sounds like that is quite a unique school. lol
What's with the "lol" at the end of your post? He was attacked. Nothing funny about that.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:46 PM   #12
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i would be worried about the bite and broken skin. the girl sounds crazy no telling what diseases she has.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:59 PM   #13
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i would be worried about the bite and broken skin. the girl sounds crazy no telling what diseases she has.
I took him to the doctor the next afternoon to have it checked and to have it notated in his medical chart. The doctor said to watch the bite for any signs of infection, but since his shirt was a barrier, it will probably be fine. He has had his Hepatitis shots and is up to date on his tetanus as well. I still worry though.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:55 PM   #14
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They had a substitute teacher and she left the class to go to the office, which I have a problem with. If she had been there he probably wouldn't have been assaulted.

My son was taught to never hit girls. He is almost 6 feet tall and 175lbs. He just tried to get her off of him and he sustained injuries because of it.

I understand school is almost over for him, but he deserves to be treated with respect.

The day after the incident, after the assistant pricipal let the girl know she was in pretty big trouble for biting my son, she told my son that he had hit her and split the inside of her lip. I find that interesting, considering she had just told the assistant principal that nothing happened and they were just playing around. If her lip was split, I'm sure she probably did it to herself while biting him. She also said that her whole lip had been swollen the night before and that her dad was super angry, wanting to come to the school and confront my son. I just don't trust them to let this all drop with her suspension. She is a varsity basketball player and this could hurt her being on the team.

My son still worries that he will get suspended because he thinks the principal is afraid of people thinking he's biased in this situation. I think it is all crap. My son was hurt. She obviously has anger management issues, even her basketball friends approached my son and told him she's a loose cannon.

He just wants to get through the year. He plans to join the navy and he worries how this could affect him.
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:49 PM   #15
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My son is a senior in high school, he is 19 due to repeating a grade. He was in gym class a few days ago, playing basketball. Another boy shot a ball and it rebounded off the hoop, hitting a girl on top of the head. All the kids laughed, which I don't think was appropriate, including my son. The girl came after my son accusing him of hitting her with the ball. He denied hitting her and tried to walk away. She pursued him and shoved him against the wall and proceeded to grab his testicles and squeeze as hard as she could. He tried to push her off and the both tripped, falling to the floor.
That right there, in my old high school would be grounds for sexual assault. I don't care the age difference- He could press charges against her for it! I would be following up on that issue! That is unacceptable and worse than the biting IMO.
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