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Old 12-13-2012, 04:08 PM   #1
FlyingDumbo
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Offended

I sent a Christmas card to a family friend and her spouse, and today on facebook there is a picture of the envelope I addressed to them. I had addressed it to " Mr & Mrs (husbands name, last name). The status says something along the lines of it is 2012 and I have my own name and identity. Apparently I should have included both first names? I honestly was not trying to offend anyone. Just trying to fit it all in on the address line. But I can tell you who is OFF the card list from now on.

Anyone else get offended by having your mail addressed this way? I'll be honest, I don't put that much time into getting offended.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:10 PM   #2
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That was very rude of her. You did absolutely nothing wrong OP. That is a standard way to address something.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:12 PM   #3
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she's really rude. If she preferred a method of address other than the traditional method, she should have taken it up with you privately instead of onFacebook.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:24 PM   #4
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That was obnoxiously rude of OP's friend. She would most definitely NEVER get a card or anything from me again.

But I will say that my MIL sends my mom a Xmas card addressed to Mrs. and then adds my dad's first (Joseph) and last name (like OP did), but my dad passed away 12 years ago and my mom does not like that MIL does this. She has been in a new relationship for the past 7-8 years and while she still uses my dad's last name she doesn't really feel like a Mrs. Joseph anymore. She tells me that it bugs her but she would NEVER do like OP's friend did or even mention it to my MIL in any way.

I address couples as Mr. and Mrs. and just put last name and no first name and I address families as so-and-so family.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:57 PM   #5
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That was crappy of the recipient to comment about it on FB.

I'm comfortable with an envelope addressed to my husband and me as "Mr and Mrs John Smith", in the sense that it's no big deal and I'm not going to complain about it. However, I prefer NOT to address people that way...I usually do "John and Mary Smith" or "The Smith Family" if they're a casual enough friend. To my husband's boss and his wife, I'd put "Mr and Mrs John Smith" tho.

What I DON'T like is something addressed to ME as "Mrs John Smith." Ugh. My name's not John. I get it that it's the old fashioned formal way of doing things, but not now, in 2012.

I know women who didn't change their last name when they got married, so I'd put "Mr Tom Jones and Ms Mary Smith" or "The Smith/Jones Family."

Or, just leave off the Mr/Mrs/Ms altogether.
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:00 PM   #6
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I guess I am getting coal in my stocking... I addressed all my cards that way this year!


Sorry your "friend" was such a rude person.. she would definitely be off my card list!!
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:33 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongLiveDisney View Post
That was very rude of her. You did absolutely nothing wrong OP. That is a standard way to address something.
^ this


I actually kept my maiden name when I got married and have NOOOOO issues with anyone mailing me a card saying Mr and Mrs BananaHammick. I would be happy they thought of us.

Did you leave a message???
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:12 PM   #8
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I usually just write "The xxxxxx Family" and leave it at that. It's so much easier. If I know they don't have kids then I do write Mr & Mrs xxxxxx. No first names so it hopefully won't bother anyone, but you never know
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:40 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongLiveDisney View Post
That was very rude of her. You did absolutely nothing wrong OP. That is a standard way to address something.
She was rude!!
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:14 PM   #10
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I wouldn't be offended but maybe I'm not "feminist" enough, lol. Actually, in contrast, I was offended when my stepdad sent me a card recently, which was addressed to my maiden name. I've been married for four years!
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:15 PM   #11
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I would say the most formal way to address a couple is indeed Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Most people would just do Mr. and Mrs. Doe, but my favorite way is the way you did it.

If they are close family or close friends, I sometimes do it informally, such as John and Jane Doe.

For someone to be offended by you addressing mail THE CORRECT WAY is just stupid. I would scratch them off of my list, too. She should be ashamed of herself for posting something on Facebook about it. I would comment on her post and say something like "I hope you enjoy your last Christmas card from me" -- but that is the witch in me.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:17 PM   #12
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She'd be off my list next year too! I see nothing wrong with the traditional method of addressing christmas cards.

And good for you for getting your Christmas cards done already. I'll be doing mine this weekend.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:17 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo View Post
I sent a Christmas card to a family friend and her spouse, and today on facebook there is a picture of the envelope I addressed to them. I had addressed it to " Mr & Mrs (husbands name, last name). The status says something along the lines of it is 2012 and I have my own name and identity. Apparently I should have included both first names? I honestly was not trying to offend anyone. Just trying to fit it all in on the address line. But I can tell you who is OFF the card list from now on.

Anyone else get offended by having your mail addressed this way? I'll be honest, I don't put that much time into getting offended.
Wow! I would have had to respond with something snarky, like "It is 2012, I have my own FB account where you could contact me in private to express your displeasure of my holiday greetings."
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:23 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Wow! I would have had to respond with something snarky, like "It is 2012, I have my own FB account where you could contact me in private to express your displeasure of my holiday greetings."
This is how I would have responded too!
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:12 PM   #15
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Wow! I would have had to respond with something snarky, like "It is 2012, I have my own FB account where you could contact me in private to express your displeasure of my holiday greetings."
Yup, totally calls for a witchy response.

How rude! (in my best Stephanie Tanner voice )
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