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Old 09-26-2012, 10:33 AM   #1
Queen-Bee
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Should I still go?

Hey all...

I've got just over a week till we leave, the holiday was booked almost 2 years ago and I’ve been super excite ever since....

However last Saturday I discovered I was 12 weeks pregnant, We'd looked at what rides I wouldn't be able to go on and I’d totally prepared myself for a slow quiet holiday, but when we went for the scan we were told they were unable to find a heartbeat, And that I’d miscarried, Both me and my fiancé and totally devastated..

Now I feel guilty for going to WDW, I feel like I should be staying at home not travelling 4000 miles...

I've hardly spoken about it to anyone else, I don't know how I’m going to cope going and seeing babies and other families and wishing it was me...

Am I being selfish if I still go?

I know you guys will understand how much I love going because we're all the same, that’s why we're here I suppose.

I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing.
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Old 09-26-2012, 10:44 AM   #2
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I am so sorry. However I'm going to keep it simple, if you and your fiancé want to go. Go. It's not selfish. You suffered a loss, when I lost my father I went away for a weekend to regroup, clear my head, and also forget about it some.
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Old 09-26-2012, 01:38 PM   #3
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I can't see how going on holiday after suffering a devastating loss could be considered selfish? Surely after what you've experienced, a holiday would do you the world of good.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you manage to take some time to relax.
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Old 09-26-2012, 01:54 PM   #4
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I'm so sorry for your loss.


Only you and your fiancé can decide what is right or you. However if it were me - I would go. Sure you will see babies, kids and families around but you will anywhere you go. Personally I would feel that a holiday and time with your fiancé would be a wonderful idea and allow you both some time to deal with your own feelings together.

If anyone would think that going on holiday is selfish after what you have been through shouldn't be worth worrying about.

Hugs to you both xx
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Old 09-26-2012, 02:44 PM   #5
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Sometimes getting away from it all is the best thing to so, and it is certainly not selfish.
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Old 09-26-2012, 02:52 PM   #6
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I am so sorry for your loss! But I agree with previous posters - I do not see it selfish in any way. Does your fiance want to go still? Would you be dragging him around when he doesn't feel up to it? If either one of you doesn't want to go, it could be considered selfish to force the other. But if you are both in agreement, then it could be a good time to get away and give yourselves a semi-break from the grief. However, if your fiance was not intending to go in the first place, you should both have a sit-down and hash it out.

The bottom line is, only you two can know how you feel and you both should decide together what is best. Whatever you decide, I hope that you are able to grieve properly and keep talking about your feelings. Don't bottle anything up
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Old 09-26-2012, 05:15 PM   #7
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I have typed this response 3 times and deleted it

I just want to send you some hugs. Go on your holiday and try to enjoy it. I had a MC between my two boys and it was heartbreaking but I did go on to have my gorgeous youngest who was conceived before my angel baby would have been born. Please don't feel guilty.
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Old 09-26-2012, 07:02 PM   #8
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Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I have never been in your shoes however several years ago when my grandfather passed away the week before a long awaited trip I didn't know whether to go or not. I was worried I would seem insensitive for some crazy reason! But I went with my gut and went to WDW and took my mind off the loss of my grandad. It helped me heal and for that I am glad! It doesnt mean that I lovd him less because I went, people handle grief in different ways and personally I think it would be good for you both. I hope you're ok, or as ok as can be expected. Everything happens for a reason! Big hugs!!
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:37 AM   #9
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I am so so sorry for your loss I think that if both of you feel up to going on the trip then I would definitely go, there is nothing selfish about it! It will give the two of you time to relax and spend time with each other. At the end of the day only the two of you know if it's the right thing to do for both of you.
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Old 09-28-2012, 06:46 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wills Mom View Post
Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I have never been in your shoes however several years ago when my grandfather passed away the week before a long awaited trip I didn't know whether to go or not. I was worried I would seem insensitive for some crazy reason!

Thanks everyone, Its really means a lot

Thats exactly how i feel... I dont want people to think i dont care, and that im not bothered about it all.

Maybe i care too much about what other people think
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Old 09-28-2012, 08:49 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen-Bee View Post
Thanks everyone, Its really means a lot

Thats exactly how i feel... I dont want people to think i dont care, and that im not bothered about it all.

Maybe i care too much about what other people think
The only people's opinions that matter right now are you and your OHs! Everyone else can go and jump! As I said, it was a different kind of loss but being away and in my favourite place in the world really helped me heal. I was very very close to my grandad and his death came as a big big shock and it helped to be away from familiar places and faces if that makes sense.

Go with your gut, and from the sounds of it your gut is telling you to go. You have enough sadness in your life right now, you need a little happiness to balance it out and if anyone has the audacity to question your decision you can tell them where to go! Everyone grieves in different ways! Big big hugs
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Old 09-28-2012, 10:45 PM   #12
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I've suffered 2 miscarriages, so know exactly how you feel - but there's lots of hope, I had my beautiful baby boy in July.

Getting away from everything really helped me relax and refocus. Obviously everyone is different, but personally I found other babies/families to be less of a challenge to my emotions than other pregnant people. I couldn't be around pregnant people until I was pregnant again myself.

It's a very difficult time emotionally and physically but you will come through it and only you can make the best decision for yourself. This is a time for caring about you and not caring what people think.

Good luck with your decision.
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