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Old 09-04-2012, 10:46 PM   #1
anc876
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College: Who Pays - Parent or Kid?

How did you pay for school, and how are you planning for your kids to attend college?

My parents helped with community college expenses, then I used my GI Bill to pay (and get paid!) for university costs. I have a BA and zero student debt (never even had to take out a loan). I still have GI Bill money left.

From my experience in college, it seemed like many young students whose parents were footing the bill were under-appreciative and not taking their studies seriously. I am thankful that my husband and I had to earn almost everything on our own, and plan to have my son do likewise. He may have to serve a few years in the military, work while in school, or apply for financial aid, but he will be expected to bear the brunt of his college tuition.

In addition, we won't be pushing him to go to college if he is unsure of what he wants to do. So many kids are expected to automatically jump into higher education and amass thousands in student loans without truly planning or preparing themselves. But that's a whole 'nother thread. =)
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Old 09-04-2012, 10:53 PM   #2
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I did work-study with loans - I was lucky for M&D to buy books & give me maybe $5 a week (sometimes mom gave the money to sister & I didn't see it) so yeah I was pretty broke during school

I agree with not pushing kids into - I was told I had a choice, go to this college or work at Dairy Queen - couldn't do anything else (being female Dad wouldn't let me join the armed forces - goes back to something that happen when he was in the navy - he didn't/won't say but it must had been pretty bad to a female since my brother was allowed too)
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Old 09-04-2012, 10:57 PM   #3
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My parents paid for my first degree. I paid for my second.

I will pay for my kids college. My experience has been that students leaving today with student loans find themselves unable to both pay their student loans and support themselves - and I don't want them moving home. And when I paid for my second I was in college with a lot of people working and paying their own way - and few of them had the capacity for both - graduation rates for those students was half that of those who didn't have to do both at the same time.

I set the expectation that my kids will go to college or have some alternate plan to better themselves post high school - either that or they move out and deliver pizzas until they are ready to go to college (or tech school, or join the army or something).
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Old 09-04-2012, 10:58 PM   #4
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My oldest had to take out a large amount in loans but ended up with a job that was not entry level upon graduation in May. She willl be fine with her payments.

My next oldest is attending a state school; Between federal grants, state grants and disability assistance is able to go with out any out of pocket expenses.

My third child is in his freshman year. He has a little more in loans this year hen I would prefer but we are going to try to get it down further next year. He also has work study this year.

So, all in all my kids are responsible for their own college bills...though legally I'm on the hook as a co-signer; though they look at them as their own loans.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:35 PM   #5
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For us it will be a joint venture.

I (shifting to we as I married my sophomore year) paid for my education. I took loans to do so but I was ineligible for other forms of aid until I married. My husband had the GI Bill that paid for his.

We contribute $150/month/per child to a 529 account. Our kids are toddlers. They won't know the account exists, they'll be told they are expected to get scholarships and work to pay for their education. We will help as we see fit. We have no desire to fund the entire education or even provide enough for them to "coast". We expect them to work so long as its plausible.

We will adjust our views based on their situation, but this is even how our will is written. The money will only cover tuition/fees, not living expenses. They will not receive a stipend (our lawyer asked us to reconsider) but we feel strongly that having it "handed" to them devalues it. We want them to work for their future like we have, but we do want to offer assistance to them as we can.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:44 PM   #6
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It was a little bit of both. My parents and my grandparents paid as much as possible so basically books, housing (after I moved out of dorms) and misc. I had a bunch of scholarships and loans for the rest. When I graduated I had over $25,000 in debt and my husband had close to $30,000 (not bad for a small private college!). It took less than 7 years for us to pay off ALL of my debt and 80% or so of his. We did not have high paying jobs (I worked for a daycare and then opened my own) and he jumped around alot for a few years. We just buckled down and took care of it. I expect my children to do the same. We will save and help some but it will mostly be on them. I have no doubt that with my husbands business/money sense that they will grow up respecting money and debt. If they get into trouble, we'll be there to help but it's up to them.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:49 PM   #7
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I paid for all my school expenses. My dad never paid child support to my mom so I felt that I didn't want to put any more undue stress on her. I worked my butt off in school so I could get scholarships and worked out the rest and took out loans. My daughter knows we can't afford to send her so she is doing the same thing. I think it is good for you to do it yourself. I am proud that I pulled it off and it gave me pride that I could do it. I will help my daughter if she needs it and we can afford it, but we will see how it goes.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:54 PM   #8
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My parents paid for mine... and I am paying for my kids, who are BOTH in college now.
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:51 AM   #9
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I believe it's the parents full responsibility to pay for their child's four year college degree, so that the child graduates debt free and without having worked during school. But I know not many will agree with me.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:37 AM   #10
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I believe it's the parents full responsibility to pay for their child's four year college degree, so that the child graduates debt free and without having worked during school. But I know not many will agree with me.
I don't have any kids of my own (Thank Jebus!) but I will pbbly tell my kids what mom told me, "You're 18, you are on your own!" I lived at home, but paid for rent and school on my own while working.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:59 AM   #11
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I have always said my kids were going to pay their own way. Thankfully we have years to go, but I am thinking we need to put some money towards it.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:30 AM   #12
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This is a big topic at our house right now. We will be paying for our DD college, at least till grad school. She wants to go to Harvard and I will do whatever I have to to make sure she has the opportunity if she wants it. Whatever it takes, ill get it done. We currently put a fair amount of money away in an account. When she no longer needs me to be a stay at home mom, ill be going back to work and putting away my salary for her school. Shes doing her part by going into a special "high school" next year that's at the local college. The classes are duel credit and she can earn 22 a semester. I don't think she will take it for granted tho, she works way too hard to hold up her end of the deal.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:50 AM   #13
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Like my parents, we are paying for undergrad, without loans if possible. However, like my parents, we expect the kids to participate and adhere to the following stipulations:

Summer jobs in high school and college to help pay as much as they can, at the minimum their own personal expenses and more as able. Each term we sit down and make plans so everyone is in the loop, knows grades, knows costs, and communicates about how everything is getting covered.

Jobs during the year if it can be worked into their schedule without interfering with their school work.

Good grades etc. and initiative to get scholarships as able.

Choose a school where their financial package including scholarships and the number we told them we could afford enables them to get out of school with no more than about 20K of loans total. In other words, if they want to go to a private or out of state school they have to earn some scholarships.

The expectation of full support only continues for four years after high school graduation and as long as the student is in good standing and still our financial dependent. (and as I keep reminding my independent one who is still in high school - as long as we hear from him weekly!)

It worked for me and my siblings and so far it's working for my oldest.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:33 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by niffer5150 View Post
This is a big topic at our house right now. We will be paying for our DD college, at least till grad school. She wants to go to Harvard and I will do whatever I have to to make sure she has the opportunity if she wants it. Whatever it takes, ill get it done. We currently put a fair amount of money away in an account. When she no longer needs me to be a stay at home mom, ill be going back to work and putting away my salary for her school. Shes doing her part by going into a special "high school" next year that's at the local college. The classes are duel credit and she can earn 22 a semester. I don't think she will take it for granted tho, she works way too hard to hold up her end of the deal.
FYI - You might want to check to see if Harvard will take those credits. I'm pretty sure the Ivy's and other elite schools don't take much, if any transfer credits. It may help her get into the school, but they may not be worth much more.

Now, if she goes to a state school, those credits will be valuable, and she can shave years off her education.
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Old 09-05-2012, 08:23 AM   #15
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This is a big topic at our house right now. We will be paying for our DD college, at least till grad school. She wants to go to Harvard and I will do whatever I have to to make sure she has the opportunity if she wants it. Whatever it takes, ill get it done. We currently put a fair amount of money away in an account. When she no longer needs me to be a stay at home mom, ill be going back to work and putting away my salary for her school. Shes doing her part by going into a special "high school" next year that's at the local college. The classes are duel credit and she can earn 22 a semester. I don't think she will take it for granted tho, she works way too hard to hold up her end of the deal.
You know the less you make, the better off you are there?

Harvard, like its cohorts, is free if you make < like $60,000/yr.

It's still less than a 1 in 100 shot at getting in no matter what, but if she happens to hit that lottery, she wouldn't need money unless you make a significant salary (more than twice the $60, I believe, before you even get into having to pay more than 10% of the tuition). As someone else said tho, Harvard won't take those credits for anything.
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