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Old 07-06-2012, 10:10 AM   #1
TavieP
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First trip since Mom passed

I'm not sure where else to post this, I hope this is the right place.

I'm just sitting here thinking about how in 5 days I'll be heading off to WDW with my sister, our lifelong BFF, our godbrother & his wife. It'll be my 34th trip (I'm turning 33 next Wednesday so we average once a year since I was 3.)

My mom died last November very suddenly, while on a cruise in South America with my dad. She was 61. It was due to pulmonary edema - she had a lot of respiratory problems and bad asthma, and woke up choking, fell off the bed, and was gone before the doctor could reach her.

I was very, very close to her - she was my best friend as well as my mom. She and my sister were also very close. She was a wonderful, funny, silly person and she loved WDW as much as we do (obviously! she's the one who got us hooked.)

The last time I went down with her was last August. It was a great trip, as it always is with Mom. She was so happy there with us. I think it always brought us back that feeling of being there with her as children and seeing the magic, so every time we come down a bit of that magic comes back to us. I'm sure you all know what I mean.

I wrote this essay on my blog ten days after she died. I think it helps illustrate the complicated feelings I have about going back down to WDW. Everything there will bring back a flood of memories - happy ones, yes, but I can't help but feeling overwhelmed with sadness that she's not there anymore to share them with me.

I just love her so, so much. I miss her every day.

I'm looking forward to this trip, but I'm also scared that the sadness will overwhelm me.

I'm glad I'll be going down with people who all loved her as much as I do. all of them (except Joanna, my godbrother's wife) have been there multiple times with our family and my mom. That will help, I think.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? How was your first trip after your loved one was gone?
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Old 07-10-2012, 10:19 AM   #2
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I guess not.
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Old 07-13-2012, 09:23 AM   #3
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Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry.

(first of all, this board doesn't get a lot of traffic, please don't get discouraged if no one saw this post, I know once it gets bumped up folks will see it)

I too have lost my mom. My mom loved Disney as well!! Shortly after her cancer was first diagnosed, but before she got too terribly sick, she took the whole family on a trip to Disneyland! We have a great family photo in front of the train station, I truly treasure that picture!!

Going back to Disney all these years without her is indeed bittersweet, but I know, I KNOW, without a doubt, that she is no longer suffering, she is cured of cancer, and in her heart of hearts she would want us all to continue having fun at Disney!! Now that I'm a mom myself I LOVE to see my kiddos at Disney, I can experience the same thrill my mom did when I see them get carefree and laugh and have a blast!! It's a magical place!!

Let's see, today's the 13th, you're there now. I hope you're really having a good time, remembering your mom---but all the good memories, none of the sad ones--- and that you'll feel close to her there.
Please check back in here when you get home, I'd love to hear all about your trip.

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Old 07-13-2012, 04:01 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heluvsme
Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry.

(first of all, this board doesn't get a lot of traffic, please don't get discouraged if no one saw this post, I know once it gets bumped up folks will see it)

I too have lost my mom. My mom loved Disney as well!! Shortly after her cancer was first diagnosed, but before she got too terribly sick, she took the whole family on a trip to Disneyland! We have a great family photo in front of the train station, I truly treasure that picture!!

Going back to Disney all these years without her is indeed bittersweet, but I know, I KNOW, without a doubt, that she is no longer suffering, she is cured of cancer, and in her heart of hearts she would want us all to continue having fun at Disney!! Now that I'm a mom myself I LOVE to see my kiddos at Disney, I can experience the same thrill my mom did when I see them get carefree and laugh and have a blast!! It's a magical place!!

Let's see, today's the 13th, you're there now. I hope you're really having a good time, remembering your mom---but all the good memories, none of the sad ones--- and that you'll feel close to her there.
Please check back in here when you get home, I'd love to hear all about your trip.

Thank you I much for your reply, and I'm so sorry about your mom. She sounds like a truly wonderful person, full of magic. I really feel that my mom is here with us in spirit somehow.

I'm taking my afternoon rest at the resort - hot out there but we've been having a blast!! I'm blown away by all the birthday magic that has been rained down on me and my sis (we're wearing our buttons) and today I finally saw rope drop! I'll post more about my trip later but I wanted to let you know that your message made me smile (in a day full of smiles!!!)
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Old 07-13-2012, 04:13 PM   #5
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Hi Tavie, sending a hug your way.

This September will be our first trip to Disney as a family since losing my dad. He died the week before this past Thanksgiving. His passing was a total shock and I was close to him. We were all supposed to get together at my house for Thanksgiving, with my younger brother flying in from Chicago to see all of us (if only his passing had waited one more week, because it had been a year since my brother saw my dad... but that's life...)

While it's been decades since my mom, younger brother and I went to Disney with dad back when we were kids, I still always associate Disney memories with him (and of course, my mom and brother) because that was our first huge family trip. I'm now married, have honeymooned there, and we're going back in September with my mom, my brother and his girlfriend. It will be weird and I anticipate some tears, but I know my dad will be with us in spirit.

I am sorry for your loss. I feel your pain because I miss my dad too, a lot.

Remember tho, keep smiling and have a great trip.
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Old 07-14-2012, 09:47 PM   #6
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Hi Tavie-rhymes-with-gravy

First off.... happy birthday!! I'm so glad birthday wishes have been in abundance today!!

Secondly---hearing about your smiles made me smile!! I know there are a lot of memories there for you, but I'm sure your mom is smiling knowing that you're there, and having a blast!!!

And smart move with the afternoon resort rest time! This heat can really zap a person and wear you out.... be careful!

Dontcha just love vacation??!! Keep on having a magical time!!

~~Dawn-rhymes-with-fawn
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:10 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heluvsme View Post
Hi Tavie-rhymes-with-gravy

First off.... happy birthday!! I'm so glad birthday wishes have been in abundance today!!

Secondly---hearing about your smiles made me smile!! I know there are a lot of memories there for you, but I'm sure your mom is smiling knowing that you're there, and having a blast!!!

And smart move with the afternoon resort rest time! This heat can really zap a person and wear you out.... be careful!

Dontcha just love vacation??!! Keep on having a magical time!!

~~Dawn-rhymes-with-fawn
Also replying to this late, but thank you so much for your sweet comments!

I guess I should go post a "trip report" - never done one of those before, at least not in this format (although I usually blog about my trips)

It felt so short - wish I was still there. And it's so hot in NYC that I almost think it was cooler in WDW!
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:07 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by gemologygal View Post
Hi Tavie, sending a hug your way.

This September will be our first trip to Disney as a family since losing my dad. He died the week before this past Thanksgiving. His passing was a total shock and I was close to him. We were all supposed to get together at my house for Thanksgiving, with my younger brother flying in from Chicago to see all of us (if only his passing had waited one more week, because it had been a year since my brother saw my dad... but that's life...)

While it's been decades since my mom, younger brother and I went to Disney with dad back when we were kids, I still always associate Disney memories with him (and of course, my mom and brother) because that was our first huge family trip. I'm now married, have honeymooned there, and we're going back in September with my mom, my brother and his girlfriend. It will be weird and I anticipate some tears, but I know my dad will be with us in spirit.

I am sorry for your loss. I feel your pain because I miss my dad too, a lot.

Remember tho, keep smiling and have a great trip.
I know I'm replying to this late, but I want to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. We lost our Mom almost exactly the same time you lost your Dad, and it's still an awful shock even after these months.

I know you'll have fun in September with your family and having been through it, I know you'll be able to enjoy the fun moments as well as feel his presence with you in the quieter moments.
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Old 07-19-2012, 03:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TavieP View Post
I know I'm replying to this late, but I want to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. We lost our Mom almost exactly the same time you lost your Dad, and it's still an awful shock even after these months.

I know you'll have fun in September with your family and having been through it, I know you'll be able to enjoy the fun moments as well as feel his presence with you in the quieter moments.
Thanks Tavie!
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