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Old 06-20-2009, 10:54 AM   #1
AmyBWV99
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WWYD? cut trip short to attend wedding?

We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?
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Old 06-20-2009, 11:17 AM   #2
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If it were me, I'd probably not attend the wedding for an extended family member, but attend for immediate family. I would also take into account how "close" I was to the person getting married. I'm not sure if I helped at all - good luck and have a wonderful trip.
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Old 06-20-2009, 11:22 AM   #3
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Hi!
We're DVC members as well, & we've also had to postpone a trip at the VERY LAST minute (we were supposed to spend 8 days at SSR during Thanksgiving week last year & DD14 ended up with an unexpected hospital stay..17 days!)

What I would do, if I'm understanding your situation correctly, is..try, try, try to move your weekend nites to the front of your trip and if you can, then cancel CBR).

If you're not able to rearrange the days, & will end up losing the points...I honestly think my family would miss the wedding, unless we had another trip scheduled soon. My family's vacations are mainly ALL about our two children (DD14 has esp. been thru a lot this year) & no way, would I shorten our WDW trip on her. WDW is much more enjoyable than a wedding!

Be prepared though, for some family members to be upset. Most people just don't understand our 11month/7month booking windows & why we need to plan our vacations so far ahead of time. Our plans can't just be changed at the "drop of a hat".

Good luck to whatever you go with!
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Old 06-20-2009, 11:25 AM   #4
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I'd probably send a lovely gift that is more extravagent if I attended along with my regrets.
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Old 06-20-2009, 11:50 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyBWV99 View Post
We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?
I feel the same way family. We are very close, even extended family. I would attend the wedding. Disney will always be there.
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Old 06-20-2009, 12:02 PM   #6
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Would really depend on how close a family member this is (sister or brother? vs. neice or nephew or aunt or cousin?). Also, is there a shower you can attend at least? Your own family and your vacation time is important too. I think it would be okay to bow out, especially if you focus on the point that you have planned this for many months so your husband could run and have already purchased non-refundable airline tickets (not need to mention your return flight hasn't been booked yet!).
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Old 06-20-2009, 12:20 PM   #7
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It really depends on how close the family member is. For a brother or sister, I would go, but for a cousin twice removed, I would pass.
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Old 06-20-2009, 12:39 PM   #8
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since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.
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Old 06-20-2009, 02:28 PM   #9
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This happened to us our last trip. We had the trip planned and paided for and then about 2 months beofre we were to go our best friends daughter decided to get married before her baby was bron. The wedding was on the last day of our trip.
We ended up not going. We told them we were sorry but there was nothing we could do.

Good luck
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Old 06-20-2009, 03:39 PM   #10
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I agree with most others. Go on your trip and send a nicer gift than if you had acually attended. Be sure to get them a momento from Disney too - for them and baby.

Regarding the "twice removed" thing. Ive never understood that. I always thought it was a slang term...lol. I didnt know it was real. I always saw it as 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousin.....etc.

Example:

My dad is Larry. Larry's cousin is Mickey (yes, really).
Mickey is my 2nd cousin
Mickey is my son's 3rd cousin

Now....on to the conusing part for me....

My brother is Michael.....who has a son we call Boogie (nickname)
My son is James
James and Boogie are cousins
Boogie has a son
We have no idea what Boogies son is to my son lol...and have actually tried to figure this out for a while now. The baby is my "great-nephew".......is this where the 'twice removed' thing comes in to play?

I apoloize for the threadjack.....it was just interesting to me.
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Old 06-20-2009, 04:24 PM   #11
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Bumbershoot explains it well, and it IS much easier to see with a chart.


The children of two cousins are "second cousins" to each other. Anything that goes across is first, second or third cousins.

When you jump between generations, you are "removed". My mom has a cousin. To me, that person is my cousin "once removed". To my child, that person would be her cousin "twice removed" (ie. two generations down).
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Old 06-20-2009, 04:30 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disneyliscious View Post
I agree with most others. Go on your trip and send a nicer gift than if you had acually attended. Be sure to get them a momento from Disney too - for them and baby.

Regarding the "twice removed" thing. Ive never understood that. I always thought it was a slang term...lol. I didnt know it was real. I always saw it as 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousin.....etc.

Example:

My dad is Larry. Larry's cousin is Mickey (yes, really).
Mickey is my 2nd cousin
Mickey is my son's 3rd cousin

Now....on to the conusing part for me....

My brother is Michael.....who has a son we call Boogie (nickname)
My son is James
James and Boogie are cousins
Boogie has a son
We have no idea what Boogies son is to my son lol...and have actually tried to figure this out for a while now. The baby is my "great-nephew".......is this where the 'twice removed' thing comes in to play?

I apoloize for the threadjack.....it was just interesting to me.
They would be first cousins once removed.

It has to do with what relative the have in common.

First cousins share grandparents. James and Boogie have the same grandfather.

James & Boogie's son are both related to your Dad but your Dad is your son's grandfather and your great nephew's great grandfather.

If you have a grandchild then that child and your great nephew will have the same great grandparents so that makes them 2nd cousins.
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Old 06-20-2009, 06:29 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyBWV99 View Post
We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?

If you were close family then you would have had some notice of pending wedding.

In your situation with vacation booked, I would just reply to invite with short note and check for $200 to say sorry we can't attend as we have already booked holiday for those days, congratulations.

And I wouldn't feel bad because you are not lying.
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Old 06-20-2009, 07:04 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyBWV99 View Post
We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?
Personally, No I would not be attending. I would call them directly after responding to the invitation and say something like....we are so sorry we cannot attend as our planned vacation is already booked and paid for and we are unable to change it without a significant financial loss. I wish we had known earlier we would have loved to attend...then just send your gift....
Sorry to have to deal with this, but to change everything at this point seems a bit much to me....
Good Luck with your decision...........
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Old 06-20-2009, 07:57 PM   #15
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Thanks so much for all the feedback!

We just found out 2 days ago no invitations are even out yet that this was all hastily happening baby or wedding.

It's DHs 1st cousin, they live far but they were close growing up.

We thought it may be a whole other matter if our children or DH were invited to be in the wedding but right now we are leaning towards missing it. We're kind of 70/30 right now. Mainly because we will go to the wedding shower and will attend the baby shower and then visit the baby once it's here which is right on top of Christmas. We go to WDW every October but hadn't really told anyone our dates for this year only because they are typically appox the same week every year.

We are under the wire since we need to be buying return tix here VERY soon!
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