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Then she paid. Her money, her decision

I have seen this done too and it is a great compromise. Include the family at the church and have a big party after

Nope, not pulling anyone's chain. kids are important in our family and included

Paying for a child's wedding, their education, or their first car is NOT a gift. I am not going to hand her tuition money and tell her to spend it however she wants, or allow her to drive a car without providing insurance for it. I wouldn't pay for a graduation party at a bar or club, and I...

Believe what you will, but calling someone a liar IS bad manners.

No, I am saying that I have most likely failed completely as a parent if my child is so selfish that she wants to exclude close family members, and if she will not listen to reason and fiind and acceptable place to draw the line with regards to who gets invited. I fully aknowledge that we canot...

My daughter is just fine thanks. So am I. My parents paid, and they had some input, as it should be. There were things my mom simply wouldn't budge on as a matter of good manners. Inviting some family I didn't particularly care for at the time was one. Looking back, it was the right thing to do...

If I pay for DD's wedding, all close family members will be welcome, regardless of age. We wouldn't exclude gramdma just becuase she is 80, so we won't exclude a child becuase of age either. If the guest list won't stretch to include children of aquaintances we will cross that bridge then, but...

Sorry, its only the truth. She feels bad about it now. Sorry you don't like that. A child's birthday party is one of the biggest events in thier year. A wedding is a huge life changing event. Why are some of us willing to behave in ways that we would never allow our children to over what is...

Compromises have to be made, as with any part of the relationship, but not at the expense of relationships with famliy. I use the term party, becuase that is what the bride I am am talking about siad over and over "I don't want them ruining my party". We all saw it differently. You siad...

I think it WAS selfish. I won't allow my child to purposely exclude a friend from her birthday party because it's "her" party. If they are good enough to be your friend, they are good enough to invite. She tried that exactly once becuase one of the "cool" girls said her friend was "weird" and...

Actually, now that she has 2 of her own she says she would have invited them if she had it to do over. She says her expectations were unrealistic and the kids wouldn't have actually "ruined her party". She just hadn't been around enough kids to get that her sister's were just normal kids. They...

Maybe to you, but in our family weddings are some of the most important events of spiritual import that we share as a family. How would you feel to be the only family member excluded from something like that? Why exclude somone from something that is central to the life of their family just...

It doesn't really matter WHY they chose not to invite her. It still hurts if you thought your relationship was close enough to the person that they would want you to be there. Child or adult, it still says "you are not important enough to be included in our day, sorry". I can see how that owuld...

Exactly. You said it better than I could.

This is just it with excluding people. No one does it just to be mean, but those excluded realize that something (having a certian venue, the menu being just so, flowers, decorations, the band) meant that there was not enough money to include them, or that you simply didn't want them there...

Honestly, I think it boils down to priorities and what is important to the bride and groom. You know form the outset how much money yo have to work with, and you have to make decisions about how to spend it. Do you have the reception in an expensive venue with limited seating and severly...

I guess so, if it is in the books. I always thought that save the date cards didn't fall under the same rules as formal invitations, hence the purpose of sending them well in advance and formal invitations later.

These kind of exclusions do tend to generate hurt feelings, particularly with older kids and teens who understand they are bring excluded.