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I've been a few times so far. Talked independantly with our marriage counsellor, seen someone else on my own as well, talked with a close friend about everything. I'm trying to be responsible for my own contributions (of which there are many). I guess I feel a little selfish that most of her...

Oops.

She does discuss the details with me, as much as I ask for, although we have to do it in small doses as she gets overwhelmed with feeling terrible about herself. (Shouldn't I be the one who should be overwhelmed with the bad feelings?) But her inability so far to seek help for herself through...

I agree about survivinginfidelity.com. I've been referred there by several people on this board and it is a very helpful place to visit.

I'm going through quite a bit of upheaval in my marriage too. I don't know where it will end up, but I can easily see it ending with us parting ways, and despite the fact that she did some awful things to me, the idea of seperating scares me terribly. Starting over seems so daunting after...

FellowTraveller: I received your PM, but since I don't have 10 posts under this profile yet I can't send back a reply. Thanks for your comments and support.

My parents were concerned when we started going out as they picked up bits and pieces of her past from when she talked about her life at home, but over the years they came to love and respect her and fully accept her into our family. They became a second set of parents to her, encouraging her...

Thanks to everyone for the responses. Here's another long one.... Thanks, I did get the PM. I find myself naturally wanting to "give some slack" because of the depression, but I know I shouldn't. It's not as if she was a nutcase. She was (and is) a fully functioning adult with an honors...

Thanks so much for all the responses and words of encouragement everyone. It really helps when I feel so lost. I'm going to read it all and take it all in, as well as check out the links that were mentioned here and also PM'ed to me. I'm actually out of town travelling for work this weekend...

Your signature seems especially fitting for this topic.

Can't believe I'm writing about this in a public forum, but I created a separate profile as I post semi-regularly and feel more comfortable keeping this separate. I am 35 years old and am married to the girl I started dating back when we were 17 years old. We dated for several years and lived...