The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com

The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com (http://www.disboards.com/index.php)
-   Community Board (http://www.disboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=33)
-   -   Grrrrr! Rude coworker vent (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3022825)

frannn 11-17-2012 11:03 PM

Grrrrr! Rude coworker vent
 
First, let me say I am thankful to have a job..I know others are not as fortunate. Now that I have gotten that out of the way...OMG! I have a coworker who is not my superior (just been there longer) and speaks to me in a rude and derogatory (sp?) manner. Her tone is inappropriate at times and her work ethic stinks. I am the opposite, yet I became the scapegoat. I spoke to my boss at the point that I had enough, and to my surprise, I was encouraged to "tattle" on her, as I was told, "why not, she complains about you". My supervisor is either afraid of her or has a love/hate relationship with her. They whisper about everyone and if I make an error, no matter how small, they go to the boss with it. They make an error, and its brushed aside and covered up. I refuse to become a person who makes it their job to point out other's mistakes to the boss. That would become a bad habit for any future job. I believe my boss specifically trains people to look over each other's shoulder's, then yells when anything is not perfect. I'm so frustrated..don't like these "mean girls", but love all my other coworkers in the other departments. I want to show them up by doing a great job AND being a great person, but I also know I'm not perfect and am bound to make an occasional error which will be blown out of proportion. Kind of a lose-lose situation... with a paycheck... I know I have more experience and skill then one (or both of them), but they treat me like a moron..

Peanut Giggleface 11-17-2012 11:11 PM

Keep smiling and doing the best job you can every day. In the meantime start sending out those resumes and scheduling interviews. Those catty work relationships are a lose-lose situation.

angwill 11-17-2012 11:31 PM

sorry I seem to have offended someone but didn't mean to. I took out my post so no offense will be taken again.

stasijane 11-18-2012 12:16 AM

I am sorry you are having to deal with that. It really makes for a hard day, hopefully something changes soon for you.

sam_gordon 11-18-2012 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peanut Giggleface (Post 46735161)
Keep smiling and doing the best job you can every day. In the meantime start sending out those resumes and scheduling interviews. Those catty work relationships are a lose-lose situation.

:thumbsup2 Couldn't have said it better.

Andtototoo 11-18-2012 08:51 AM

Look for another job.

Mean girls never change because they have no incentive to change. Sadly the only way to truly "beat" them is to become worse then them and you don't want to do that because you're not a mean girl.

From TBDT School -- the "kill them with kindness" idea does not work with them because they view being kind and polite as a weakness to exploit and will actually escalate their behavior. It's like they're predators who scent a weakened prey.

goofyintoronto 11-18-2012 09:10 AM

Im sorry but i dont believe in killing them with kindness. If you can truly ignore her then good for you. But I also dont believe that running away is the solution either. You cant keep running because you never know what you will be faced with at your next job. Sure if you can get a better job with more money that's a bonus. but until you do, I would face the problem head on. if she steps out of line, tactfully stand up to her, do something about it. She keeps doing it to you because she thinks she can. do something about it to stop her in her tracks.

Sent from my Galaxy SII

Disney Doll 11-18-2012 10:12 AM

Frankly, I'd be looking for another job no matter how nice everyone else is in the place.

In the meantime, I have never been one to take anyone's guff. The first time she said something to me in a derogatory tone, I'd have been calling her attention to it and making sure she understood that there was no way I'd be spoken to in that manner by a co-worker. Your immediate supervisor is her friend? Well, then go above her head and keep at it until the problem is addressed. If you have an HR Dept. throw around the words "attorney" and "hostile work environment".

But do look for another job, because no matter what, this is not the right place for you unless this other woman gets fired.

MM27 11-18-2012 10:31 AM

One person makes a huge difference in a workplace. I had a girl that worked with me for 4 years that was horrible. Always wanted to be the star of the show, but she didn't do her job well. Her solution to that was to lie, harass, gossip about the people that she new were doing a better job than her. I was one of them and she used to stress me out so much. I finally got to the point though, that I saw no matter how nice I was to her, she had only bad intentions. I decided to try a different route, with the advice of another colleague, and just ignore her. I had the best year ever once I didn't let her get to me any more.

And the best part, I got a phone call in the summer and someone told me that she resigned and was moving across the country to California. :wave2: Sorry California, but what a great work environment we have now.

CynBeth 11-18-2012 03:58 PM

This sounds a lot like what I am going through. Besides what you mentioned, we are in cubes except for our boss. I have co-workers who are on personal calls all day or constantly have people come to talk to them or they go elsewhere and barely work. A few of them have horrible husbands who they stay with but should leave and those men call all day long for various reasons and a lot of times they have inappropriate arguments over the phone that everyone can hear and is distracting to our work which we are on the phone a lot for and the assistant to the boss who sits in the cubes with us never says a word. A lot of times she helps cover for them if the work isn't done. I sit at my desk working hard and rarely take a break and never call out and the assistant finds ways to pick on me and make me feel horrible. I can't go into it but I can't stick up for myself against the assistant and if I were to go to the boss or HR it would make things even worse so I just decided to leave things as they are. I am lucky to have a job and hope maybe some of them will retire or leave in the next few years. I hate going to work and I come on these and other Disney message boards when I get home to cheer me up.

frannn 11-18-2012 08:47 PM

CynBeth-do we work in the same place? LOL
 
I was shocked that this is allowed in a corporate environment, but I quickly learned that it is actually encouraged in mine. Feels nice to have sane people to vent to when everything else feels insane... Part of me (and other people) feels like they might feel threatened by me and my skill base. Still no excuse.

cluvsdisney 11-18-2012 10:05 PM

I think your boss is the bigger problem by encouraging the tattling and putting the responsibility of overseeing his staff on you and your coworkers.


Good luck with this situation.

disneydee6 11-18-2012 11:08 PM

I believe that ignoring her antics is probably the best thing for you. Doesn't give her ammunition, and you can just work on work (and trying your best not to let this nuisance bother you). My mother has a woman at her job that got reprimanded for being late too many times, so she began to go in and make note of anyone else who was late. :faint: Some people just are mean spirited.
If ignoring her isn't in the cards, then make sure to be as formal as possible and any sign of incident with her, make note of it to a superior. Best to dot your i's and cross our t's so she doesn't ruin your job for you.

CynBeth 11-19-2012 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frannn (Post 46741286)
I was shocked that this is allowed in a corporate environment, but I quickly learned that it is actually encouraged in mine. Feels nice to have sane people to vent to when everything else feels insane... Part of me (and other people) feels like they might feel threatened by me and my skill base. Still no excuse.

I don't like coming home and venting to my family and friends all the time so I am glad I have a place like this. I feel bad others are going through the same thing. Where is everybody from?

CynBeth 11-25-2012 06:42 PM

How was everyone's Thanksgiving?


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:39 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.