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-   -   What was the reason for your vow renewal? (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2953789)

Brancaneve 07-07-2012 12:08 AM

What was the reason for your vow renewal?
 
I truly hope no one thinks I am asking a personal question or am prying. However, I am curious as to why some of you lovely brides have chosen to renew your vows on the Dcl or in the parks?

I would love to renew my vows and certainly have my reasons. But do my reasons justify the expense? Did you find that family/friends questioned it or thought it was a response to a shaky marriage? I am just wondering if people raise an eyebrow to this decision. Regardless, who cares! ;)

Krystalynn 07-07-2012 01:28 AM

We are going to get our vows renewed at Disney for our 5 year anniversary because we never even had a wedding! We got married at the court house :lmao: I've always dreamed of my Disney wedding and so this will be close enough :)

ChocoKat 07-07-2012 10:05 AM

When we first were married we were very young and totally broke. Instead of going into debt we decided to have a courthouse wedding. My parents couldn't be there since they lived overseas, DH's father couldn't be there due to work and being away.

To pacify our families we promised them that once we were established and had the means, we would throw a proper wedding for them to attend.

10 years later we decided to celebrate our decade together by having a vow renewal. How did our families respond? "Yay! We have been waiting. See you guys there!"

tinkerbell 766 07-07-2012 12:32 PM

We wanted to renew our vows on our 10th anniversary really, but we wanted to have the 'wedding' we didn't have the first time around, and we had two children at university (a very expensive business), so we waited until the two had graduated. We ended up renewing our vows just after our 11th anniversary in the end.
Although our original wedding was lovely, it was a budget affair (church hall, hired dress etc) and, call me selfish, but I really wanted the whole 'Fairytale' thing!!
Our VR, therefore, was simply a celebration of our marriage and our family. We had it at a place which meant a lot to us and we were surrounded by the people who are important to us and it was the best day of our lives!!
No way were we 'propping up' a crumbling marriage - quite the opposite, we were celebrating a successful one.
I say go for it!!! We encountered no negativity toward our plans, but I know some people do, but it is about you and your family and nobody else!!!
Enjoy the planning and your special day - a happy marriage is something to be proud of and no mean achievement, and certainly a good reason for a celebration!!!!

Deesknee 07-07-2012 01:02 PM

We were planning our VR at disney, but as you said, it becomes expensive. We've decided to do the VR at home then vacation at WDW with a desert party. We are fortunate enough to have some of our friends joining us as well as our 4 children. As for why we decided to have a VR... there are a few reasons. first I will list mine, then my DH

we have 3 grown children. Our DD has been dating a nice guy for 4 years and they have been talking marriage. They are both still young, but very responsible individuals and as a couple. I think it will be nice for them to sit and hear each vow, my DD knowing how much her father & I have been thru, and hopefully realizing they are NOT just words. Her brothers will hear this and hopefully realize this as well. But for me it is especially important she "hears" them before a ring is slipped on her own finger.

We've been through a lot over the past 30 years. I think more than a lot of folks. (of course less than others)(vaguely outlined in my PTR if you want real details). When I think of those moments, sometimes I wonder how our marriage survived. I want to refresh those words, in my heart & verbally with my DH.

And, honestly after 30 years sometimes the romance gets lost in the every day stuff. I want to relive the romance, even if just for the day. (and the planning of it.). :)

DH's reasons: He agrees he wants our children to realize it is not just a wedding, it is a marriage. He wants them to hear each vow, each promise.

: He likes a reason to have a celebration.
: He loves to make me happy. And to see me smile.
: He wants all to know he WOULD do it all again. Even the bad times.

Those are his words.

We have no need to resupport our marriage.

There is a part of me that would love to do the whole WDW VR. But I have decided there are other things I would rather do with the money. Plus, with our eldest DD talking wedding, I think we should be planning saving for HER wedding. ;)


EDited to add: We do have friends who think that a VR is just silly. As she says, they did it once, it was forever, and there is no need to do it again. I respect that. Their first wedding was simple, VFW hall, catalog dress, etc. And it was a lovely wedding. For her the wedding was just the means to begin the marriage. Simple as that. She has mentioned in conversation over the years, "why is it the ones whos marriages are falling apart always seem to be the ones that do vow renewals". I think she was a bit embarrassed when I told her recently we are having a VR. I explained basically why we want to do it. She respects that, and I her opinion. We have been true friends for over 30 years, we don't always see eye to eye. But we respect each other. DH and I however, had a bit of a decision to make regarading inviting this couple. Knowing they think it is silly, we feel it is like asking for a gift. BUT, they are very good friends of ours. So... I just asked her..."would you be interested in attending the VR? If not I completely understand, but you are two of our closest friends, we didn't want to NOT include you. She said of course they would want to be there. To each their own. That is what make each of us an individual, and what makes the world so interesting.

quandrea 07-07-2012 02:00 PM

We renewed our vows in Dec '11. We did it because we'd been through a lot and were still stronger than ever. We (mostly I) love Disney and this was a real treat to plan. We'd survived infertility, miscarriages and my husband's near death due to heart trouble. We had a lot to celebrate. I was wonderful to have our three children there. I't was money well spent and I'll cherish the memories forever. I enjoyed it more than our real wedding. By the way, it cost about $2500 all in.

Brancaneve 07-07-2012 04:49 PM

Thank you for your answers, which have all been so diverse and interesting. I had a very large wedding(350 people) and I bought the first and only dress that I tried on. Although it was a beautiful wedding with a lot of thought put into it, I would have done things quite differently. I truly think that we love each other more now, and with more maturity and depth. I would love to celebrate that with a vow renewal and have a chance to make our wedding more intimate, simpler and a chance to say that I am really happy in my marriage!! I just wonder if that is reason enough.

We have been married 13 years so I have two or seven years to make this happen. Thank you for the inspiration!

Jilian 07-07-2012 08:27 PM

We just renewed our vows for our 5 yr anniversary. We mainly did it because we never had a wedding to begin with, just a JP ceremony on the beach with our parents. Our big plan was that we'd have a real wedding a few months down the road for friends and family to attend (most live out of state). Then we had a son born with a congenital heart defect and needed to focus all of our attention on him and his health. Years went by and we still wished we had a wedding, so we decided that for our 5 year anniversary we'd have the wedding we had always wanted - and it was a fabulous Swan wedding in Disney!

jtlover 07-08-2012 12:17 AM

We are renewing our vows next month on the Disney dream ship and can't wait. I like it in that it is fairly intimate on the ship and there will only be 4 of us:thumbsup2

We have been married 22 years and we were already booked on the cruise when I read another vow renewal trip report that I decided we would do the same on this trip:thumbsup2

I think marriage should be celebrated because these days unfortunately too many people give up and there are too many divorces so we want to celebrate that we are doing something right, I hope:rotfl2:

virtuous girl 07-09-2012 08:34 AM

I renewed my vows because i didn't have a wedding the first time around.. I got married when i was 18, went to a wedding salon, then to red lobster for lunch, changed our clothes, then shopping & dinner.. We only had 2 other guests with us as our witness.. I told my hubby Lord willing we are still together for our 10 yr I want it BIG! :laughing: I had it very fancy but still with a small guests count which worked out perfect at the end because i surprised my guests with a dessert party on the yacht & the yacht only holds a certain amount of people.. I hope u get what u want! :cutie:

keenercam 07-09-2012 02:21 PM

We renewed our vows at WDW in our 25th year of marriage. When we got married in 1984, we were poor and would have gotten married at the County Hall if my parents hadn't been so hung up on how it would look to people. The whole event was surrounded with so much family strife and drama and I did not pick a single thing for the wedding - not my dress, my flowers, my cake, not even my undergarments! My husband always promised me that some day I'd have the wedding of my dreams, and he made all of my wishes come true with the help of Joe and Meri at Disney Fairy Tale Weddings.

By the time we did the vow renewal, my parents had both passed away and we decided that we would only invite people who we knew would not make us feel badly about the expense of what we were doing. Our DD (then 20) and DS (then 15) were our attendants, our dear friend was our Minister, and my BFF walked me down the aisle. We surrounded ourselves with loving family and friends who shared the joy of our marriage through the years and who shared the fun and joy of our fairy tale wedding. We (mostly I) chose every single little detail, right down to the music for the reception. We spoiled our guests with wonderful food and fun gifts and loved every single second of the 13 months of planning and a weekend full of fun. I wore the gown of my wildest dreams and a tiara. It was the most fun day of our entire life together as a couple and for the four of us as a family.

I am so glad we did it. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. If you are considering doing this, I hope you will make it every dream come true!

chris31997 07-09-2012 08:22 PM

We are renewing our vows because I will no longer be the "mistress" ;) My husband is in the military and after 20 yrs, I will come first and not the military. But now he is talking about extending past 20 :rolleyes2 It will be a celebration of our love and the fact that we were able to hold on to it even though the Corps tried its best. Don't get me wrong, the Corps has treated us good but it is hard on marriages;)

We are planning on DCL or Castway Cay. I keep changing my mind, go figure. Got 4 yrs to plan it:rotfl:

wiserabbit 07-09-2012 09:52 PM

We did our VR for our 30th....primarily we did it because (like PPs) we've been through a lot together and came out stronger on the other end...we ended up just with the 2 of us (because it got too complicated to coordinate various family members) and so that we could truly say what was in our hearts - without any thought of who was listening or what they would think:goodvibes). It was more than I dreamed it could be....sooo romantic, full of surprises (from hubby) and emotional.....truly the once in a lifetime experience that we both wanted to reaffirm our marriagepixiedust:.

Definitely do something for your VR - and know that even if you do a DFTW event - it can be deeply personal and moving....now we can't wait for our next milestone (50th)....hope to have another celebration/VR:lovestruc

Handbag Lady 07-13-2012 06:41 PM

I love my husband and our marriage is great. I LOVED being a Disney couple on that day from every little detail to all of the things that went wrong. It was one of the best days of my life and I'd love to do it again.

I understand the people who say renewals are not worth it, silly, Hey ya did it once already, etc. I can totally respect those who see it as a true renewal of vows, a sort of re-set, too, of a troubled or difficult path. And for those who want a wedding because they never got one, that is awesome!

I'll be honest: If I did a renewal, it would be because I want to wear a big fluffy dress again and be fussed over with my husband for a few hours and get some new jewelry.

BethieTink 07-13-2012 09:00 PM

We are renewing our vows in November, about a month after our 10th anniversary. Our first wedding was lovely. We (and all of our guests) had a fabulous time. There were some things we would like to do differently (and are), but we have a different reason for renewal.

It has not been an easy 10 years for us. We each have been diagnosed with chronic illnesses - Rheumatoid Arthritis for me and Type 2 Diabetes for him, since we have been married. Both of his parents and my grandmother, who I was extremely close with, have died. We also had to deal with his father for 3 years as he died of a broken heart after losing his wife. I lost my job in 2008 on top of all of this.

Our vow renewal is to celebrate the fact that we got through it all, still love each other and will always be there for each other.


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