Your sleepover experience

luvsJack · Feb 11, 2016

How old is your grandson?

I had them all the time and so have all my kids. Sleep overs really aren't that big of a deal.

I would explain to him that there will be no late night pick ups so he has to stay. That doesn't always work and sometimes you still get that call but sometimes it at least gets them to call before some horrendous time of the night.

mombrontrent · Feb 11, 2016

I had tons of sleepovers as a kid/teen. My son had some as a kid but not as many as my girls. My son is now 16 and still has sleepovers with his friends but they never sleep in the same room! My son will sleep in his room, one will sleep in the spare room, one or two on the couches, maybe one on the floor, lol.

My DD9 has a sleepover usually every week or two. Now DD13 on the other had has sleepovers every night that is not a school night. On any given Friday or Saturday 1-4 girls will be here sleeping over or she will be at one of her friends houses. Sometimes her friends spend the whole weekend here for she will be gone all weekend. They either all squeeze into one bed or if there is too many they all sleep on the floor. They usually have boys over too but they usually leave around 10pm or so. I actually love having all the kids over here, the lower level of our house is devoted to all the kids bedrooms, spare room, bathroom, rec room so they kids have their own space. I love hearing the kids all have a great time down there. Now it does get a little loud when all the kids have people over but I don't mind at all, I actually miss it when they go to other people's houses on the weekends.

DisneyOma · Feb 11, 2016

I'm in my 50's and have had tons of sleepover experiences - our school did a week at a camp, slept over my cousins' houses all the time, and friends' houses too. Not sure how old I was for the first sleepover, but most summers and vacation weeks were spent piled up at one cousin's house or another.

Oldest daughter had first sleepovers at grandparents' homes when I had to have hospital bedrest. Friend sleepovers happened in kindergarten for both girls I think? Or at least by 1st grade.

MomofKatie · Feb 11, 2016

I slept over at my cousin's house a lot as a young kid. Grandma's house, too.

I think my first sleepover at a friend's house was when I was about 7/8?? Second grade. I never called to come home- most of the time, I wanted to stay past my welcome, lol!!

DD is 17- she had her first sleepover in first grade with a little girl a few doors down the street. We reached "peak slumber party" around 5th or 6th grade- seems like she was spending the night somewhere or friends were at our house every weekend of that 2 year period.

She only called me to come get her in the middle of the night once- she was in 7th grade, I think, and a friend invited her to stay over on Halloween along with 8-9 other girls. She felt weird because she didn't know anyone there besides the friend who invited her (she went to a different school from everyone else). The family were also really into super scary Halloween stuff, and they were showing pretty gory horror movies. DD does NOT like stuff like that, so she called and asked me to come get her. I did, since we had always told her that we would come, no questions asked, if she ever felt uncomfortable at a sleepover.

One thing that DD did a few times when she was in Kindergarten that might be an option for OP- a "half sleepover". The kids (both sexes can participate) come to the host's home in the evening in their pajamas. They have snacks, lay around in sleeping bags, play sleepover games, etc. But at midnight, they all go home to sleep. DD really had fun doing these when she wasn't feeling quite ready to stay out overnight, but wanted to have the fun experience of a sleepover.

shoney · Feb 11, 2016

I was born in 1972 and my parents attended the 1972 Summer Olympics. So, I was only a few months when I slept at my grandparents house. Honestly, it may not have been the first time.

As a kid, I remember sleeping over my friends houses by 3 or 4.

As a tween/young teen, we basically rotated each others houses every Saturday night.

I have boys. They started sleepovers at their grandparents by 4 weeks old.
Friends didn't really start until about 3rd grade and were most popular 5th grade through 8th grade. Now, in high school it happens sometimes, but not as often.

I do agree with a previous poster that I never gave sleepovers a thought and don't see why they are such an issue on the DIS. Just a part of growing up.

NFLDERS · Feb 11, 2016

A few have asked my grandson's age he is 9 albiet a young 9. He is quite excited about this sleepover this is a second cousin, and they don't know each other really well yet, their father's were close growing up.

BrinkofSunshine · Feb 11, 2016

I grew up going to/hosting sleepovers constantly. I was never bothered by being away from my parents, even as a little kid.

By middle school and high school almost every weekend was a sleepover. My senior year I basically was given my own room in a friend's house.

It saddens me when kids/teens aren't allowed to have these.

missbrooke06 · Feb 11, 2016

Yep, starting from about 1st grade. Most were at my house because I had OCD. By the time I was 14, I learned enough coping to go elsewhere and from 14-17, I either had one-four friends over or I was at someone else's house every weekend night.

scrapquitler · Feb 11, 2016

NFLDERS said:
My Dil asked my experience, and advice about Gs's "first" sleepover. Since I'd never had one because it wasn't something we did in my time (Senior), and that of our sons for that matter the exception being with relatives. The only thing I could offer was to consider that the cousin where the sleepover will be is 45 mins (country driving) from home. We are now experiencing brutally cold temps, and if he should wish to be picked up in the wee hrs of the am it may be an issue.

Anyway, this got me wondering what others have experienced with sleepovers.

I was in elementary school in the late 70s, and sleepovers with friends were common starting around 3rd grade. We had sleepovers with our cousins way before that, from the time we were babies. By middle school, it was pretty normal to either sleep over someone else's house or have friends at our house every single weekend, and the same in the summer, even during the week.

My parents wouldn't have dreamed of picking us up in the middle of the night. If you wanted to go sleep over, you stayed.

My kids only ever did sleepovers at their grandparents and aunts/uncles. Neither one of them every wanted to sleepover anywhere else. DD did a few sleepovers with girls scouts, but never really liked doing that. She did sleep over a friends house a couple times in high school, but that usually happened when they were going somewhere and then were going to be getting home late, so she'd stay with the friend. Now that she's in college, she has a couple friends who she stays with frequently during school breaks because thats the only time they really get a chance to see one another.

msjprincess · Feb 11, 2016

I'm in my early 50s and had tons of sleepovers growing up. In the summers we had sleepovers almost every week.

I moved a few times growing up. I would go back to my old neighborhood or friends would come visit me for a week at a time.

My kids started with friends in elementary school. With cousins probably when they were 3 or 4.

EMom · Feb 11, 2016

Too many sleepovers to count. We just called it spending the night. If you had a big group over, that was a slumber party. We started those in about 2nd grade. My parents lost their mind and let me have about 15-20 girls spend the night for my 10th birthday. By the time I was 12 , I was either spending the better part of the weekend at a friend's house or she was spending it at mine. The only question was, whose house would it be this weekend? That continued past high school. That was the norm when and where I grew up. I'm not sure when it changed. DD16 goes to a fair number of group sleepovers these days and has since about 4th grade. They do not switch weekends at each other's houses the way we did, but then again, they are much more scheduled than we were. Their weekends are full, while ours were leisurely and fun. Good times.

DeaverTex · Feb 11, 2016

Born 1950 = you do the math. I've never been to or held a sleepover. When I was a kid, sleepovers were relatively common but it was always girls. Or at least, none of my male friends had them. Come to think of it, Tex Jr. never went to a sleepover either. I don't advocate for or against them -- just have no personal experience.

WebmasterMaryJo · Feb 12, 2016

Grew up with lots of sleepovers at friends and family, or they came to our house. Fast forward to when my kids were young, and our house was the sleepover house. I still smile at the memory of footsteps racing up and down stairs at 3am as they played 'hide and seek in the dark.' They're adults now (yes, and still live with me), and when they have the occasional get-together more often than not I'll wake to one or more people asleep in our living room. It's normal here.

cijay · Feb 12, 2016

I can't imagine childhood without sleepovers. It was pretty much a standard, every Friday after school my friend and I would stop off at my place, get my stuff and went to her place, I'd go home Sunday afternoon. I think, eventually, I just left pjs, a tooth brush and some undies over there.

powellrj · Feb 12, 2016

My dad is 80 and loved to spend the night family when he was a kid and he had lots and lots of sleep overs with friends too. My mom was 78 and she talked about having sleep overs with her friends all the time. I am in my mid 50's and had lots of sleepovers with both friends and family. All of my kids have had sleepovers over the years. They started pretty young. I know they stayed with family before they started school and school friends in the younger grade school years.

elphaba91 · Feb 12, 2016

I think I was 5 or 6 when I had my first sleepover - one of my best friends had a slumber party for her 7th birthday (I remember I was teased for my Bananas in Pyjamas pjs :guilty:

) and I'm sure I'd had sleepovers at both her house and my other best friend's house before then. My younger sister was 4 - it was my aunt's 50th birthday and she had a party at her beach house so my sisters and I spent the night with our friend next door.

I did have a friend in year 7 who wasn't allowed to stay the night at my sleepover party because her parents were worried that a man would rape her...my parents are divorced and I don't have a brother so no men have ever spent the night in my house :confused3

indimom · Feb 12, 2016

I had plenty sleepovers with family and friends as a child. So have my own children (girl and boy). The boy sleepovers did seem to end by middle school, while the girls continued through high school. There was one family my parents would not allow sleepovers with. There was one I would not allow with my children. In both situations, other play dates were allowed, but not lengthy unsupervised events.

I never left early or had a bad experience. I never picked either of my kids up in the middle of the night. And I never had to call a parent to pick their kids up from my house.

We only had tears once that I remember (at one of the boy sleepovers) due to a misunderstanding among a couple of the boys. That's the only time I had to step in as an adult, and do some damage control to save the day and prevent a couple of the kids from going home. I had a talk with all of them, apologies were given, a new game was started, and within 30 minutes everyone was laughing and having a good time.

So, overall they were a good experience in our family. I certainly know from coworkers and friends of a few situations when children had to picked up early. So, it's a possibility that should be considered. :car:

DisneyOma · Feb 12, 2016

NFLDERS said:
A few have asked my grandson's age he is 9 albiet a young 9. He is quite excited about this sleepover this is a second cousin, and they don't know each other really well yet, their father's were close growing up.

Nine is plenty old enough for a sleepover at a relative's house, unless there are emotional issues. His parents should be ready to come pick him up at any hour if he has issues.

I used to get homesick (especially at that school camp trip!) but I still got to try new experiences.

MIGrandma · Feb 12, 2016

I went on a lot of sleepovers, and had friends sleep over at my house too, when I was a kid. And I spent a lot of nights at my grandparents' house too. When friends were involved it was generally just one kid at a time, but I do remember an end-of-the-school-year sleepover that the girl having it invited every single girl in our class. We had the whole basement in her house, and I don't think we slept at all. As a parent I can't even imagine having that many girls in my house all at once.

As for our own kids, our DS had a few/went on a few but not as much as DD. She had a friend over quite often, and went to their house often as well.

Both kids did spend nights at both sets of grandparents' houses too. And I have had our grandkids spend the night here with us occasionally too.

luvsJack · Feb 12, 2016

NFLDERS said:
A few have asked my grandson's age he is 9 albiet a young 9. He is quite excited about this sleepover this is a second cousin, and they don't know each other really well yet, their father's were close growing up.

9 is a great age for sleepovers. He may not have any issues at all sleeping over. DD had problems one time and honestly the other Mom handled it beautifully and dd got up the next morning extremely happy that she had stayed through the night and was able to spend the day with her friend. From then on, she stayed with no issues at all and we never had to go pick her up.

I would suggest your dd talk to her son and help him figure out ways to help him get through the night ok. Once he does it, it will be easy the next time. Maybe find out what the kids will be doing the next morning or day and tell him ahead to get him excited for that part of the staying over so he will have something to look forward to and will make him more willing to get through the night.

Your sleepover experience

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