4 year old doesn't want to go...

SweetMissy · Nov 29, 2015

What is going on with this kid!? He keeps saying he doesn't want to go and he wants to stay at his aunt's house. Does he have a mental illness I don't know about? Seriously though....what should I do? My sister I'm sure wouldn't mind keeping him for the week but I don't want him missing out on our vacation. I also don't want him at the last minute wanting to go while we're walking out the door. I don't get it!

maxiesmom · Nov 29, 2015

I wouldn't let a 4 year old decide. It is a family vacation, you take him. End of story. 4 is waaaaay to young to be offered that sort of choice and power.

willowsnn3 · Nov 29, 2015

He's being a 4 year old is all, he will get over it. That being said, no way a four old is going to make that kind of decision in my household.

3Gsandme · Nov 29, 2015

Four year olds don't get to make those kinds of decisions in my house. My answer would be (and has been ) "this is something we're doing as a family, so you're going."

End of discussion.

missbrooke06 · Nov 29, 2015

So first off, he goes.

That said, have you asked him why he's so opposed? Is this his first trip? Does he know what he's avoiding?

I know you were joking about mental illness but I have OCD and it was rough when I was young. I thought that if I left my pets, grandparents, etc., they would die. This did not stop my parents from taking me on vacation but they did call my grandparents (who pet sat for us) daily or at least every other day and it helped me feel more at ease.

The four year old doesn't decide but you should try and ease anxieties.

Allison · Nov 29, 2015

What should you do? First, please don't make light of mental illness. Second, there is no question about what to do regarding vacation. 4 year olds don't get to decide about going on vacation.

3Gsandme · Nov 29, 2015

Actually, my daughter who has ASD will turn down "fun" outings due to her anxiety related to her Autism. She wouldn't turn down Disney any day, but she would opt to stay ome from some things, especially when she was younger.

Alesia · Nov 29, 2015

That's normal. He's probably just overwhelmed. Stop talking to him about it.

Jennunc · Nov 29, 2015

I'm with everyone else that 4yr olds don't decide.

I'm guessing he's anxious. I'd try to ease his anxiety by either doing storyboards with what to expect or stop discussing it all together. Whatever strategy works better for him.

Spunky946 · Nov 29, 2015

Has he been before? Does he know what to expect? If not, then show him the planning DVD and you tube videos if he is anxious. Other then that, he is 4 he goes.

Happyinwonerland · Nov 29, 2015

I'm a bit concerned tat you're considering letting a 4 year old call the shots. You are the parent, you decide if he goes on vacation with you. Letting him make big decisions like this is setting a very bad precedent.

PollyannaMom · Nov 29, 2015

I would lean toward bringing him along, because I think he would seriously regret missing out (either after, or worse - as the rest of you are leaving and it's too late to change it)...but I would try to get to the bottom of why.

It also makes a big difference to me whether he's been before. If it's a first trip, he doesn't know what he's missing. Find out why he's saying what he's saying, "fix" the problem, and off you all go. But, if you go twice a year, and he really hates it and makes the rest of you miserable, and your sister really wants to watch him, then I guess I'd think about it.

SweetMissy · Nov 29, 2015

Oh goodness. I'm not letting a 4 year old call the shots and I'm NOT making light of mental illnesses. He's going. Thanks for all your input.

DisneyOma · Nov 30, 2015

3Gsandme said:
Actually, my daughter who has ASD will turn down "fun" outings due to her anxiety related to her Autism. She wouldn't turn down Disney any day, but she would opt to stay ome from some things, especially when she was younger.

Sadly, that feeds into the anxiety - does she still do this, or are you working on helping her conquer her anxiety so she can expand her horizons?

3Gsandme · Nov 30, 2015

DisneyOma said:
Sadly, that feeds into the anxiety - does she still do this, or are you working on helping her conquer her anxiety so she can expand her horizons?

Dd is getting lots of therapy and working hard both at home, with her therpists at school and with her therapist outside of school to manage her anxiety. She's made huge strides. Anxiety is still a part of her life and she's still a homebody, but I'm happy to report, she's managing a lot better.

Edited to add: dd's diagnosis is new, but we've had our suspicions over the years. Some things we give on and some things we don't. For instance, Big Sister is in marching band and we got to the football games. Little dd hates football games and doesn't want to go, but that's not an option. We bring things along with us to help her tolerate the game, but she goes.

ajwolfe · Nov 30, 2015

SweetMissy said:
Oh goodness. I'm not letting a 4 year old call the shots and I'm NOT making light of mental illnesses. He's going. Thanks for all your input.

I'm just curious what you were hoping to get out of this post? You obviously didn't want people to tell you to make him go.
Have you asked him why he doesn't want to go? Is this his first trip there?

North of Mouse · Nov 30, 2015

SweetMissy said:
What is going on with this kid!? He keeps saying he doesn't want to go and he wants to stay at his aunt's house. Does he have a mental illness I don't know about? Seriously though....what should I do? My sister I'm sure wouldn't mind keeping him for the week but I don't want him missing out on our vacation. I also don't want him at the last minute wanting to go while we're walking out the door. I don't get it!

Don't know what you can do - my 4 year olds never had a vote on when/where we went! That's much too young to exert such power in family decisions. What would be next?? :confused3

willowsnn3 · Nov 30, 2015

Just a thought tho if it is his first trip he may be scared about meeting the characters. We didn't include one of my granddaughters on our first few trips because she would freak out at characters we would occasionally see at festivals. She loved Dora the Explorer but freaked when she actually saw her at an event. Then later on at a Chick fi la event she started backing away from the Chic fi la cow, lol, until I told her if she wanted to go to Disney she would have to get used to them so she tentatively approached the cow and all was fine. Loves meeting the characters now.

Angel Ariel · Dec 1, 2015

SweetMissy said:
Oh goodness. I'm not letting a 4 year old call the shots and I'm NOT making light of mental illnesses. He's going. Thanks for all your input.

I think people were getting the impression that you were considering not taking him (because he doesn't want to go) from this:

SweetMissy said:
Seriously though....what should I do? My sister I'm sure wouldn't mind keeping him for the week but I don't want him missing out on our vacation.

Perhaps you may want to edit that from your OP if the 4 Y/o is definitively going to Disney with you.

Shonte Durrett · Dec 1, 2015

SweetMissy said:
Oh goodness. I'm not letting a 4 year old call the shots and I'm NOT making light of mental illnesses. He's going. Thanks for all your input.

I have come to the conclusion that people are high strung and literal on these boards. LOL...

You are concerned I'm sure why he wouldn't want to go. Which I would be as well. I mean, he's 4! haha and laughing and joking about his "mental illness" is not making fun or making light of the illness. Goooooooooooood GOLLIE people! I assure you that those are the same people that the Facebook posts that say "Good Morning America. How can I offend you today?" are about.. lol..... I bet those are the ones that get offended over every little thing. I have family members who have mental illnesses and I didn't see you say anything wrong.

I agree with what someone said above, have you found out why he doesn't want to go? Maybe you can fix any issues that he has when going. Maybe switch things around when you are there that he hasn't witnessed yet. Maybe add some special little surprises leading up to the day of arrival. I would just not bring it up too much anymore just throw hidden Disney touches "surprises" before you go. Then when you are there immediately jump into something really fun or new. (Have you done the water parks? - I'm not sure when you are going though) Or..... Have gifts waiting in room when he arrives. Maybe a favorite meal too.

I don't know, i'm sure my now 2 year old would say that also when she's 4. LOL... she's excited now but she is all hung up on Mickey & Minnie, Doc, Sophia, etc..... and Tsum Tsum's......... NOW, I'm not meaning, people, that she is literally all hung on them. Don't want to start another controversy. hahaha

4 year old doesn't want to go...

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