Disney on Husband's Terms

J'Adore Disney · Oct 13, 2015

WIcruizer said:
Maybe the tone is just getting lost in some of these posts. Does he really TELL you these things, like it's an order?

We all have budgets, so I can understand why he would only be willing/able to spend "x" amount. But isn't that a discussion you have, rather than him TELLING you? And a no shopping RULE? Here are the ADRs you can and can not have? I'm really not trying to be disrespectful, but I just don't get it.

DH is not a meanie ... and of course his terms are not etched in stone and they are definitely not orders. He has been known to bend, in fact, I recently made FP selections, he even helped out! We do some "light" shopping, but he becomes overwhelmed by the crowds in stores like World of Disney and Emporium. Therefore, to have a flawless time, I try as much as possible to give in to him and tone it down a notch. Again, we go to Disney a lot! When I go with my DD and DS, there are no limits! When I go with DH, the trip is more challenging, but in the end I see it as, I'm going to Disney again, I'm staying in a nice hotel, and there is no other place I'd rather be.

liquid17 · Oct 14, 2015

My husband "tells" me how much we can spend, but it is because he is the one who manages our finances and has the big picture in mind. While I of course want to save for college (2 down, 2 to go!) and think about retirement, etc., I can't keep the details in my mind! So I trust his judgment on stuff.

We save specifically for vacations and call it our Vacation Fund. But. Let's say we had $5,000. in our fund. I want to spend the whole $5,000. He says "let's just spend $4,000. so we are ahead for our next trip". Frustrates me sometimes ...but I know that his way of managing things has worked well over the years. Because we are always ahead for our next trip!

pampam · Nov 25, 2015

J'Adore Disney said:
DH is not a meanie ... and of course his terms are not etched in stone and they are definitely not orders. He has been known to bend, in fact, I recently made FP selections, he even helped out! We do some "light" shopping, but he becomes overwhelmed by the crowds in stores like World of Disney and Emporium. Therefore, to have a flawless time, I try as much as possible to give in to him and tone it down a notch. Again, we go to Disney a lot! When I go with my DD and DS, there are no limits! When I go with DH, the trip is more challenging, but in the end I see it as, I'm going to Disney again, I'm staying in a nice hotel, and there is no other place I'd rather be.

If DH tries to give in to you, and tone his requirements down a notch, then I can see compromise on both parts. Otherwise it could be percieved as controlling.

WIcruizer · Nov 25, 2015

I'm sure he's not as bad as it sounds, it's just that your original post sounded that way. Yet, I agree it still sounds like more controlling than compromising to me. When I go shopping in DTD or MK, I take as much time as I want. If DH has had enough, he'll go sit down somewhere and just people watch, check his phone, etc.

bsj1701 · Nov 25, 2015

I am a DH who loves Disney. No disrespect intended, but I am not sure why you even bother going with him? Continue to go with your kids and find something else to do with him. I'd even go by myself before I'd agree to all those conditions. You are fortunate to live so close and be able to go often, but it really doesn't sound like your husbands thing. Surely there must be something else both of you would enjoy!

J'Adore Disney · Nov 25, 2015

WIcruizer said:
I'm sure he's not as bad as it sounds, it's just that your original post sounded that way. Yet, I agree it still sounds like more controlling than compromising to me. When I go shopping in DTD or MK, I take as much time as I want. If DH has had enough, he'll go sit down somewhere and just people watch, check his phone, etc.

Yes, you are right, he is not a bad as he sounds, however, Disney bring the worst out of him, and he'd never go sit down somewhere and just people watch or check his phone... therefore, I give up on going to Disney World with him, even if he promises to be good next time, there will be no next time with him!

WIcruizer · Nov 25, 2015

Yea, I'm not so sure that's compromise either. A family vacation means just that- family. Not to say he has to go every single time, but don't you do things with him that you don't love? I know lots of couples/families where the husband is far from a DH, but they go and have a good time. It's what you do when you're a dad and a husband.

I get WDW is not everyone's cup of tea, but sometimes we all have to put our grown-up pants on and partake in family events. Just sounds a bit immature to wine and complain about it. But again, this is just what it "sounds" like, not knowing him I could be reading way too much into it.

mom2rtk · Nov 25, 2015

WIcruizer said:
Yea, I'm not so sure that's compromise either. A family vacation means just that- family. Not to say he has to go every single time, but don't you do things with him that you don't love? I know lots of couples/families where the husband is far from a DH, but they go and have a good time. It's what you do when you're a dad and a husband.

I get WDW is not everyone's cup of tea, but sometimes we all have to put our grown-up pants on and partake in family events. Just sounds a bit immature to wine and complain about it. But again, this is just what it "sounds" like, not knowing him I could be reading way too much into it.

While I tend to agree, I think expecting a non Disney loving spouse to go along with 2-3 trips a year is too much. I suppose in an ideal world, it would be nice if the spouse went along (happily, without such a long list of conditions) on one trip per year, or even every other year. Then it would be nice if the Disney loving spouse went along with something the other one liked in between trips.

Nobody is required to love Disney. But going along and making a long list of demands doesn't sound like the answer either.

lustergirl · Nov 28, 2015

Oh boy. Interesting thread. Hubby would be staying home if he was that negative. Sounds like a child with all that whining and demands. And I wish my hubby would tell me how much I could spend.

DSLRuser · Nov 28, 2015

J'Adore Disney said:
NO Value Resorts
NO Moderate Resorts
NO Disney bus transportation
NO Downtown Disney until Downtown Springs is 100% completed
NO character greets and meets
NO dining reservations
NO Fast Passes until we get to the park
NO lines (only ride if wait time is under 30 minutes)
NO souvenir shopping
NO pin trading
NO Mickey gear (I cannot wear my Mickey Ears, Mickey t-shirts or lanyard)
NO pin trading

Of your 11 NO's, I agree on 2 of them. The others, he just needs to lighten up a little.

NO Value Resorts = I AGREE
NO Moderate Resorts = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO Disney bus transportation = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO Downtown Disney until Downtown Springs is 100% completed = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO character greets and meets = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO dining reservations = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO Fast Passes until we get to the park = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO lines (only ride if wait time is under 30 minutes) = I AGREE
NO souvenir shopping = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF
NO pin trading = MEH, No OPINION
NO Mickey gear (I cannot wear my Mickey Ears, Mickey t-shirts or lanyard) = HE NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF

mom2rtk · Nov 28, 2015

I wonder how this conversation would be going if the OP said her husband wants to camp 3 or 4 times a year and she didn't want to.

OP, I hope you are able to find the balance that works for your family. :wizard:

North of Mouse · Nov 28, 2015

Read all the replies, just thankful dh & I enjoy nearly everything together (except shopping). Our vacations have always been planned and enjoyed together - neither of us would have it any other way.

cantoine · Nov 29, 2015

My husband is a big kid at heart but tries to be the meanie in the house! He understands my Disney obsessiveness and goes along with it. At first he would just stand there and complain about how we didn't need that, or how it was going to cost to much. But once he gets there it all goes out the window. He does have a few request when we go:

1.We all have to have our yearly shirts on
2. The kids get new ears each trip
3. He dislikes buffets with the kids
4. He must eat steak at least once
5. No early morning magic hours
6. I can not complain about him pin trading even though he drives me crazy with it
7. Only deluxe or deluxe villas (we are dvc owners)
8. No rental car
9. At least one date night
10. We have to watch the castle light up each night we are at MK

He is a really awesome hubby!

Disney on Husband's Terms

J'Adore Disney

With a smile and a song...

liquid17

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pampam

DIS Veteran

WIcruizer

DIS Veteran<br><font color=green>I'm a man that wo

bsj1701

Mouseketeer

J'Adore Disney

With a smile and a song...

WIcruizer

DIS Veteran<br><font color=green>I'm a man that wo

mom2rtk

Invented the term "Characterpalooza"

lustergirl

DIS Veteran

DSLRuser

Age is a state of mind

mom2rtk

Invented the term "Characterpalooza"

North of Mouse

DIS Veteran

cantoine

Don't just fly soar

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