Bus Etiquette

WIcruizer · Oct 5, 2015

Do you think it's still a given for men to be polite and give up their seat on a bus, monorail etc. so someone who "needs" the seat more can have a seat?

I ask, because I've noticed this seems to be changing. During my last trip, several times I stood up because some of the "men" did not. I'm not talking about a man giving up his seat for just any woman at all. (I don't need someone to do that for me, for example.) I'm talking about a mom trying to hold a small child, elderly people, etc.

What do you think, am I just old fashioned or something?

supersnoop · Oct 5, 2015

WIcruizer said:
What do you think, am I just old fashioned or something?

The times, they are a changing. As is the cultural makeup of Disney's customers.

wilkeliza · Oct 5, 2015

Some men do it but also some men may also need the seat. So many people stared at my fiance to get up one trip because I got up instead of him and stood in front of him when we realized someone got on who may need the seat. The reason I got up and not him was because he has a medical condition that had flared up and was the whole reason we were on the bus at that time and not at park close to begin with. It humiliated him when people started questioning why he didn't get up.

Also at the end of the day it is a every man for themselves kind of thing I guess. Everyone has been walking for a while so who really knows who needs the seat more than someone else. Sometimes I get up and sometimes I don't.

Maxpowers · Oct 5, 2015

I don't think it's a man v woman issue, but more of an able bodied vs. someone who has more on their plate (i.e. with kids, older, pregnant, cane etc...) issue.

But as @wilkeliza said, it could be that you just can't see what that person is dealing with.

WIcruizer · Oct 5, 2015

The reason I got up and not him was because he has a medical condition that had flared up and was the whole reason we were on the bus at that time and not at park close to begin with. It humiliated him when people started questioning why he didn't get up.

I am sensitive to this as well. That's why I never say anything or give people a "funny look." I do realize there are specific instances where someone may look fine, but they need the seat. In fact, my husband had a bad back one year we were there, so really needed to sit.

As you said, it has become "everyone for themselves" and I guess that's the part that bothers me. Yes, we're all tired. But I have seen many times when someone really a seat (you know it when you see it), and nobody bothers to get up.

wilkeliza · Oct 5, 2015

WIcruizer said:
As you said, it has become "everyone for themselves" and I guess that's the part that bothers me. Yes, we're all tired. But I have seen many times when someone really a seat (you know it when you see it), and nobody bothers to get up.

I've never said anything about it but I do get a little annoyed when the buses are packed and someone gets on who you can clearly see needs a seat and a family lets their toddlers sit on their own seat. I just don't get why you can't put your toddler in you lap if the bus is super crowded. As in previous I don't say anything because I have no clue why they are making that decision but that would go hand in hand with a man getting up in my opinion. We could all work on ways to be a little more nice if we can. This is one reason we usually rent a car now because then no fighting for space or a seat!

sunshinemelody · Oct 5, 2015

WIcruizer said:
Do you think it's still a given for men to be polite and give up their seat on a bus, monorail etc. so someone who "needs" the seat more can have a seat?

I ask, because I've noticed this seems to be changing. During my last trip, several times I stood up because some of the "men" did not. I'm not talking about a man giving up his seat for just any woman at all. (I don't need someone to do that for me, for example.) I'm talking about a mom trying to hold a small child, elderly people, etc.

What do you think, am I just old fashioned or something?

I've been thinking about this in general.

I, unfortunately, have to take public transit to work in the mornings. So that's a bus to the Metro North (boo) and back. Sigh. Anyway! I sit in the back half of the bus simply because I don't get off until the last stop and I'd rather give up the front seats for children and people who get off earlier than I do. Every single morning, without fail, there's always an elderly man who gets on the bus (granted, he could walk a little bit and get to another widely open seat, but he doesn't, and I don't know why, and it quite literally annoys the living blazes out of me that he does this), but there are teenagers sitting in those front seats at the front, and don't move. So, he'd rather wait until one of them moves and possibly hurt himself by holding himself upright than walking the few feet to seats two behind them. Every morning.

But it irritates me that those teenagers or people that I was standing with at my bus stop don't get up and give up their seats for pregnant women or for that old woman with bags for days. The level of humanity is just at 0, that's it. It's everywhere. But imagine NYC subways! Those are terrible. They're very good with pregnant women and women with children, though, gotta admit. Well. Sometimes. Depends on the train line.

maxiesmom · Oct 5, 2015

wilkeliza said:
I've never said anything about it but I do get a little annoyed when the buses are packed and someone gets on who you can clearly see needs a seat and a family lets their toddlers sit on their own seat. I just don't get why you can't put your toddler in you lap if the bus is super crowded. As in previous I don't say anything because I have no clue why they are making that decision but that would go hand in hand with a man getting up in my opinion. We could all work on ways to be a little more nice if we can. This is one reason we usually rent a car now because then no fighting for space or a seat!

I have a friend who has a disease that on some days would make it painful for her to hold a child on her lap. The whole child in a seat thing used to bother me a little, but now I think of my friend and realize I don't know why someone chooses not to hold their child.

As far as people who should be in a seat not getting one, I look at it from the opposite point of view. I blame their families. They are the ones who should shoulder the responsibility of seeing they are safe. My mom is in her middle 70s. There is no way I would take her to WDW and put her in the position of maybe having to stand on a bus. If I couldn't be bothered to see to it that she was safe and comfortable, how on earth can I expect total strangers to do so? No one is forced to use the buses. If someone feels it isn't safe for them or someone else in their group to stand, then be proactive. Hop in a cab. Rent a car. Wait for another bus with open seating. Don't get on a standing room only bus and get mad because someone else isn't offering their seat up. Take care of your friends and family.

wilkeliza · Oct 5, 2015

maxiesmom said:
I have a friend who has a disease that on some days would make it painful for her to hold a child on her lap. The whole child in a seat thing used to bother me a little, but now I think of my friend and realize I don't know why someone chooses not to hold their child.

That's why I said I never say anything and it really doesn't bother me it is just when they make a big deal about someone not getting up but then they let their toddler have their own seat.

I agree if you really might have issues holding yourself up on the bus then you can let others in front of you and wait for the next one, cab, or rent a car. We have done all three of those through out our many Disney trips because we just wanted to sit.

MagentaMulan · Oct 5, 2015

It's difficult to know what medical or special needs people have (just by looking at them). I'm sure lots of people are tired from park touring. Exactly how tired is anyone guess.
My dad for example: "looks" able-bodied and younger than his actual age but has serious feet issues, but doesn't use a cane or walking stick, so standing all day really hurts him. I ask people if they would like to sit and sometimes they do want it. I'm used to taking public transportation and standing for hours, but I have no problem waiting for the next bus or monorail even if it adds time to my travel.

sam_gordon · Oct 5, 2015

Oh good... another "seats on the bus" thread...

http://www.disboards.com/threads/women-children-seated-first.3430129/

North of Mouse · Oct 5, 2015

It irritates me when a bus is 'obviously' full, then a pregnant woman with child, elderly or weak person, couple with very small children (or whatever) make the decision to get on the bus anyway, making others even feel the need to give up their seats, or look rude! Everyone is tired, just wait for the next bus, and get your own seat! We have done just this, and don't feel the need to stand for the last ones pushing onto a full bus!

bumbershoot · Oct 6, 2015

IMO yeah, that's a bit old fashioned AND a wee bit sexist and ageist, thinking that women (who chose to have those kids and bring them along and get on that full bus) and older people NEED others to stand for them.

WIcruizer said:
But I have seen many times when someone really a seat (you know it when you see it), and nobody bothers to get up.

Do you know it when you see it? Are you SURE that the people still sitting didn't have that look (whatever it looks like) before they found those seats?

maxiesmom said:
My mom is in her middle 70s. There is no way I would take her to WDW and put her in the position of maybe having to stand on a bus. If I couldn't be bothered to see to it that she was safe and comfortable, how on earth can I expect total strangers to do so? No one is forced to use the buses. If someone feels it isn't safe for them or someone else in their group to stand, then be proactive. Hop in a cab. Rent a car. Wait for another bus with open seating. Don't get on a standing room only bus and get mad because someone else isn't offering their seat up. Take care of your friends and family.

Yes yes yes yes yes. And yes.

Also, not all pregnant women want to sit down (I did NOT...sitting then standing hurt SO badly with my joints just gone), not all women carrying children want to sit down (if DS was sleeping while I stood, if I sat down he would wake up), and not all elderly people want to sit, either.

I once had a situation on a public bus where the man who wanted to give up his seat ended up standing next to his now EMPTY seat, because I wouldn't go along with his "poor pregnant woman" agenda. I absolutely did NOT want to sit, and he was rude enough to judge that, and left his seat empty because of his ego. If you are offering a seat *to* someone, if they say "no thank you", don't decide you know better. Just sit the heck down and enjoy that seat. Everyone saw you offer, you got your good deed in, now move on.

Allison · Oct 6, 2015

sam_gordon said:
Oh good... another "seats on the bus" thread...

http://www.disboards.com/threads/women-children-seated-first.3430129/

I know. This one has been done to death and never goes well.

North of Mouse · Oct 6, 2015

sam_gordon said:
Oh good... another "seats on the bus" thread...

http://www.disboards.com/threads/women-children-seated-first.3430129/

Allison said:
I know. This one has been done to death and never goes well.

True, so true, but y'all couldn't resist coming to check them out and post!

Seems to me, doesn't hurt for some things to be repeated, sometimes over and over, maybe a few more people each time will 'get it' with boarding a full bus - wanting someone to give up their seat!!

wdwrich · Oct 6, 2015

sam_gordon said:
Oh good... another "seats on the bus" thread...

http://www.disboards.com/threads/women-children-seated-first.3430129/

Granted, but not everyone on these boards has seen the previous threads. As you well know, there are repeat subjects on the Dis boards each and every day.

sam_gordon · Oct 6, 2015

wdwrich said:
Granted, but not everyone on these boards has seen the previous threads. As you well know, there are repeat subjects on the Dis boards each and every day.

True. I did consider that. I had assumed someone who joined in 2002 and had 1,400 posts would have stumbled upon one or two.

nkereina · Oct 6, 2015

As far as I'm concerned, everyone who willingly rides a Disney bus should be capable of standing for some period of time because it can happen to anyone at any time. If anyone gets on the bus who truly *needs* a seat for whatever reason, the onus is on them to make that happen for themselves. Wait for the next bus, take a cab, rent a car, whatever you need to do. You can't rely on strangers to make way for you, nor should a stranger have to.

wilkeliza · Oct 6, 2015

This thread started to remind me of the great debate of the college program bus system. If you were visiting a park for the day or working it didn't matter you had to use the same bus to get back to housing. People would complain that people who had been "enjoying" the park would sit when people who had been at work had to stand. It always rubbed me the wrong way when people would start shouting about it on the buses and demand seats because for one you never could tell who had just gotten off work and who had been in the parks for sure. I would always change after my shift because I liked to drop my uniform off at costuming on my way to the bus. Also someone could have worked an 8 hour shift and then gone to the park after or even been in the park 3 times as long as you had just worked. I just never got the entitled mentality that somehow a bus seat should be theirs just because of what they had done before the bus seat. I was not against waiting or hitching a ride home (or paying for a cab) if I truly was exhausted from work.

WIcruizer · Oct 6, 2015

So, what some of you seem to be saying is this. If someone who is standing and could really use a seat, you wouldn't get up and give it to them? Because they should just wait for another bus or rent a car.

Yes, they COULD have waited for another bus. Yes, maybe they shouldn't be on a bus at all. Is that really justification to say "tough luck, I have my seat." Got it. Now a whole lot of other behavior at WDW makes much more sense.

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