Going to Disney in the midst of family tragedy

Hootch · Sep 2, 2015

I am sorry for your family's loss.

People mourn in their own way, even within families people mourn in their own way. My mother has given explicit instructions for everyone to wear tropical clothes and serve cocktails for her funeral. She left the disposal of our father's ashes to my sister and I and she still complains about our decision.

Your family knows the thoughts and feelings on how they would wanted to be remembered. Follow your feelings and don' worry about others. Following that up with I think it is an honor that your family has asked you to share in their experience.

Kaarup · Sep 2, 2015

Condolences for your loss. We went to WDW 6 months after our college aged son passed away. Keep lots of kleenex handy. It was 2004 and that trip was the first time we saw Wishes. Took us a long time afterward, sitting on a bench in the dark to stop crying. I was told that if you find a penny on the ground it was sent from someone in heaven to tell you hi. His favorite ride was the Haunted Mansion, so I save those pennies and when we go I throw them into the river beside the Haunted Mansion for him. I also really liked the idea of writing their names on paper and tying them to a balloon to set free.

larryz · Sep 2, 2015

I'm guessing your trip will be bittersweet; you'll have moments of joy, and moments of sadness, but I think it's safe to say you'll never forget the trip.

And you'll always be able to thank your aunt and uncle for an amazing, memory-filled trip to WDW.

cgattis · Sep 2, 2015

So sorry for your cousins who lost both their parents at the same time; I just can't imagine their grief. So glad they have each other and some sweet cousins

I absolutely love the note/balloon idea and the cruise. That will give you some private time to both grieve and celebrate them, in a very special setting.

It's great that they'll have you and your mom along on this trip to help them get through the rough patches. Have a wonderful trip; I know it will be a cherished memory.

allybabba98 · Sep 2, 2015

So sorry for your loss. There has been some great ideas mentioned. I love the idea of getting a cake as it is true that kids just love celebrating with cake. We lost my FIL suddenly 4 months ago and asked my MIL to consider coming with us. She decided to come with us but I do realize I will change the way I may have toured the parks before.
I really do plan on taking our time and really listen to what the family needs. My MIL has already mentioned that she may not be up to going all days to certain parks and that is okay.
Even if it can bring just a moment of joy for her it will be worth it.
All the very best to you and your family.

Glenn · Sep 2, 2015

I am so sorry for the loss of your loved ones.

When youre in the world talk about what they like about the parks & resorts. Remember any funny stores about their visits? Talk about that and the good times shared in the past.

Friends of mine lost their dad a couple of years ago. The family used to spend a week at the same rented cabin every year just relaxing and sharing time together. After his passing they still did their annual lake visit, sharing memories & taking pictures. One of the relatives took one of the group shots and had someone photo shop a picture of their dad siting on the lake next to them. That photo made everyone feel that he would always be with them and at his beloved lake.

Go to the world and celebrate the memories of your loved ones.

Micca · Sep 2, 2015

No disrespect intended, and you are very sweet to consider all of this. But...
I'll be gone before any of the rest of my immediate family, and while I'd like to think they will remember some of the good times we had there when I was still around, I woudn't want them spending any time or doing anything elaborate to commemorate me. WDW should be about Mickey, Minnie, Castles, & Pirates. Death can stay at home. I understand tastes & traditions vary, I wish you well and a great trip!

Duffy Lover · Sep 3, 2015

Disney is healing balm. Our 2008 trip coincided with a miscarriage that took place mere days before we arrived. There was no better place to recover. Good luck, heal and rejoice in life.

Accident · Sep 3, 2015

I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't think anything special should be done. I think coming together as a family, doing the trip she wanted everyone to take and an appropriate timed thank you/remembrance toast. The week will be filled with good memories of past trips with the family and introducing new family members to disney. Make WDW the happy part of this story that will continue for generations and not an extended funeral or forced fun trip.

jjlloyd1975 · Sep 3, 2015

We went to Disney 11 days after our daughter was stillborn. The trip had been planned for some time. We had some family members who thought we were crazy and felt we should spend more time mourning our loss, but the memories that we made together (our son was 5) helped the healing process. I think the change of scenery helped as well. There were some tough moments, but I wouldn't change our decision.

Vernie822 · Sep 3, 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. As devastating as it is, I am glad you will be able to experience the vacation with your family. I am sure you will do everything you can to make it as magical as possible!

Etsy has some really cute t-shirt ideas. You could even DIY by getting the shirts yourself and doing iron-ons or something! Matching t-shirts for the kids for a day or two would be fun.

Not sure how many little girls you have but there are also really cute Minnie ears (sparkly, themed to Frozen, or Ariel, etc) on Etsy. You can honestly find them for any princess or movie! They may like those themed towards their favorite princess. And Mickey ears for the little boys maybe!?

CinderElsa · Sep 3, 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your family will be able to spend some precious holiday time together this year.

I would advise against the balloon release. Balloon releases are very dangerous for wildlife (one of the many reasons you won't see balloons at AK).

BBB only takes children up to 12, but the entire family could do Pirates League, which would be a fun memory for everyone.

You can also look on Etsy for custom buttons or shirts for the whole group.

alliecat523 · Sep 3, 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this trip will bring some wonderful memories and great joy to the family.

I wanted to second this:

ninarobin said:
Hello,

I am so sorry for your and your family's loss. I wasn't sure if this was posted already but the official Disney florist Disney Floral and Gifts, http://www.disneyfloralandgifts.com/home.html
I believe does deliveries to resorts or in-room celebrations where they set up decorations etc. in your hotel room.
Thanks.

We've used them for both cakes and in-room celebrations and they do a wonderful job. I think this could be especially wonderful for the birthday child.

GatorMama · Sep 3, 2015

Hugs for you and your family. One of my great friends just got back from a disney vacation that she left for mere days after her father died very unexpectedly. I applauded her for healing in her own way as its very hard to do that with others watching a your every move. His memorial was even postponed until today so that she and her family could enjoy vacation and still be there.

They did the Pirates and Pals cruise and very highly recommendes it to us. It looks like a ton of fun! Or maybe a special Duffy bear waiting for each of the kids upon arrival?

ConnecticutNonna · Sep 3, 2015

Just want to say sincere condolences... I have no brilliant ideas except to echo the balloon release and special cake for the birthday girl! May your trip bring all of you a measure of peace, and know that your departed loved ones will be there with you. GBY, NonnaT

Dan Murphy · Sep 3, 2015

Extending my condolences. :hug:

vicb · Sep 3, 2015

Micca said:
No disrespect intended, and you are very sweet to consider all of this. But...
I'll be gone before any of the rest of my immediate family, and while I'd like to think they will remember some of the good times we had there when I was still around, I woudn't want them spending any time or doing anything elaborate to commemorate me. WDW should be about Mickey, Minnie, Castles, & Pirates. Death can stay at home. I understand tastes & traditions vary, I wish you well and a great trip!

To the OP: so very sorry for your family's loss.

I respect the feeling behind Micca's post and actually would not want my family to turn the trip into a sad memorial. However I do think that doing something to honor/commemorate your Aunt and Uncle sounds like a part of your family's grieving process and so you should. There have been some great ideas here and I'm sure you will decide what feels right to all of you. Best wishes for a memorable trip. :lovestruc

mollmoll4 · Sep 3, 2015

I'm so very sorry for your family's loss.

What about something as simple as dining at their favorite spot or riding their favorite ride(s)? I also think the cake or floral idea would be nice (especially a cake for the birthday! I have my birthday every 4 years on Thanksgiving too - and cake is ALWAYS welcome).

My only other input would be to, please, avoid a balloon release. While it's a lovely gesture, it's not great for the environment. (sorry to be that person)

Baklava · Sep 3, 2015

mollmoll4 said:
My only other input would be to, please, avoid a balloon release. While it's a lovely gesture, it's not great for the environment. (sorry to be that person)

Absolutely true- an alternative that some folks have found comforting is to "release" the balloon to a child. Say the prayer, make the wish, enjoy the memory... and then pass the spirit of generosity along to someone small.

smallworldnh · Sep 3, 2015

That's so sad and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think it's wonderful that you are all still going. If it were me, I would want my family to go and I'm sure you all will be thinking of them while you are there.

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