Strict Church rules on Bridal Gown

NewRVLady · Aug 30, 2015

**note-this is not a Church bashing thread**

Nowadays most brides wear strapless gowns-95% of bridal pics we see in Society pages on Sunday feature bride in strapless gown from most of the area Churches

we live in a VERY Catholic area-many churches and all have different rules
This Church/Priest seems more conservative
if the printout from a church says,

"modest dress, no exposed backs, no cleavage, no bare shoulders"

Do you think keeping the veil on your arms solve the "no bare shoulders" rule?

Sort of like this bride-link is to Catholic wedding at our largest church-the cathedral=bride has veil over arms

wilkeliza · Aug 30, 2015

I don't think it does but it is up to the individual church. Every time I've gone wedding shopping they have asked if it was a Wedding with religious requirements so they knew what dresses were automatically no go. If the church goes far as to have a print out I'd say they aren't going to be very forgiving of the rule.

jdb in AZ · Aug 30, 2015

That's something you should ask the specific priest, instead of people here on the DIS.

RitaE · Aug 30, 2015

I know of a local conservative church where many of the Brides/Bridesmaids have some sort of lace jacket or shawl-type thing to wear with their dresses during the ceremony and they usually remove it for the reception.

Luv Bunnies · Aug 30, 2015

Hmmmm....I would think the veil would not meet the guidelines because it's so sheer. Plus, veils can move and may not stay in place to cover the areas that are supposed to be covered. One solution is to add a little jacket or shrug for the ceremony. It can be removed for photos outside of the church and the reception. If you want something that looks more like part of the dress, you could probably get a seamstress to add a button-in piece to the top of the dress that could be removed for the reception.

sonnyjane · Aug 30, 2015

I do NOT think the veil satisfies that requirement. Plus if the lift the veil for the kiss, they would be exposed. Sleeves or shrugs can be added to virtually any style, and dresses with sleeves are actually "in" right now.

EMom · Aug 30, 2015

No. Ask the bridal store for something like a bolero jacket which can be removed after the ceremony for the reception. This rule is not as unusual as you may think.

gwynne · Aug 30, 2015

jdb in AZ said:
That's something you should ask the specific priest, instead of people here on the DIS.

This, absolutely. It's up to the priest. And jmo, it sounds like the rules are clear. I don't think they really care what's in, it's about their modesty preference.

design_mom · Aug 30, 2015

In my opinion, if the church's rules say that the shoulders must be covered, a strapless dress with a shoulder-covering veil does not meet the requirements.

We attended a wedding two weeks ago where the bride had wide, cap-sleeve straps on the dress for the church service, then removed them and had a strapless dress for the reception. (The dress was "meant to be" strapless, and the sleeves were added. It looked very nice and I didn't know till she took them off that they weren't really part of the dress.) It's possible that the bride in the photo did something similar... had straps or a jacket for the ceremony but removed them for the photos.

Like a PP said, it's not a rule at every church, but I don't think it's an unusual rule either.

marlynnp · Aug 30, 2015

I can't figure out the point of the post vs. the picture shown... did you find this picture of a wedding you had nothing to do with and decide that they didn't 'follow the rules'?

My first thought is myob. But, no, I do not think what is shown in the picture would satisfy the church requirements. But I would not assume that what is shown in the pic is what was worn INSIDE the church.

NHdisneylover · Aug 30, 2015

I am a little confused as to what the question is.

If you are asking if DISsers think that having the veil fall over the arms would fall into a dress code which states "no bare shoulders" I agree with others and do not think it would and that adding a jacket would be smart.

Is that photo from THAT church's website and you are wondering how it complies with the dress code? If so, I would say more than likely the bride wore a jacket, etc IN the church, or there are small straps that happen to be under the lace on the edge of the veil in that shot and are just not showing up (though often, thin straps, such as on those bridesmaids dresses would not count as covering the shoulder anyway--they may have all had jackets on during the ceremony).

Or, is that photo from a different area church which has different rules, but since it is a large one you feel anything acceptable there should be acceptable at any other area Catholic church? (it is hard for me to tell from how you wrote it, sorry). If so, I would say that each church/priest can set their own rules and if you really want to be bale to dress as the larger church allows, then get married there and not somewhere whose rules you do not wish to follow.

Goofy_Disney_Dad · Aug 30, 2015

Yes, No. Maybe.

BadPinkTink · Aug 30, 2015

I dont get what the big deal is... the bride wants to use this church for her wedding, therefore she must abide by THAT particular churches rules and guidelines... simple and straight forward. Dont like the rules, go somewhere else. Its really no big deal or that much extra expense to have a bolero or jacket made or get detachable sleeves added.

Wishing on a star · Aug 30, 2015

We don't know what the OP's take on this is. I am not assuming that she feels somebody should be able to ignore or bend the rules.

I don't necessarily agree with such stringent requirements.
But, if one wants to be married in the church, I think it goes back to the "My House (of worship) My Rules". Like the recent thread!

I agree with most others so far that a very sheer veil does not equate with those requirements, or the intent and purpose of those rules. And, none of the bridal party has a veil, or anything, covering their arms. This may have been at a different church/venue. Or they might have had cover-ups that they took off, outside, for the photos.

My wedding dress (back in the stone ages!) had little cap type sleeves, that could easily have been detached. I am not really proud of my upper arms, they are not my finest point, and I did not have them made detachable. But, I would certainly LOVE to wear the sleeveless styles if they worked for me! I live in tank tops and camis in the summer!

Every time I watch TV, like GMA in the mornings, and even in the winter, I see these woman anchors with their totally sleeveless 'shell' type dresses and tops, and I am thinking, "Cover those arms!!!!" Not out of religious influence, or being 'prude'.

Azrael · Aug 30, 2015

I've never really understood the modesty concept with the church. I mean, we all know what the bride will be wearing later in the evening.....NOTHING! (not to mention what she'll be doing wearing nothing)

BadPinkTink · Aug 30, 2015

Azrael said:
I've never really understood the modesty concept with the church. I mean, we all know what the bride will be wearing later in the evening.....NOTHING! (not to mention what she'll be doing wearing nothing)

the modesty rules are usually standard church or religious service rules, but only get high lighted in wedding conversations as these may involve guests who are not religious or from a different church or religion. For example rules about men removing hats or ladies having their shoulders covered apply to all services in a particular church, everything from daily mass service, to Sunday service, to festivals like Christmas and Easter, as well as weddings, baptisms and funerals

marlynnp · Aug 30, 2015

maybe one can just forfeit the "deportment deposit" and wear what they choose

http://www.saintjohncathedral.org/Weddings.html

And googling more pictures of wedding at that particular church show plenty of other brides without shoulders covered. I think you've probably got the requirements wrong.

I'd really like to know the point of this post though, JB.
The wedding you posted was over 2.5 years ago. What's got your knickers in a twist now?

NewRVLady · Aug 30, 2015

FYI-bride has been in many many local weddings-most of her friends wore strapless to many Church weddings

I don't think this note was seen at first-it was in the printout of the rehearsal times etc
Very expensive dress already purchased
I agree-a chiffon shrug is the way to go

Just wondering if the bride pictured would be 'ok" with this priest-this is bride's Mother's plan to drape the veil on her arms
(I simply was looking at a local photographers website-and found a bride doing what the bride I know wants to do)

RitaE · Aug 30, 2015

Azrael said:
I've never really understood the modesty concept with the church. I mean, we all know what the bride will be wearing later in the evening.....NOTHING! (not to mention what she'll be doing wearing nothing)

That may be, but I'd really rather not watch it up happening up at the alter during the Church service.

There are several religions that have tradition and rules regarding clothing or head coverings during ceremony, this isn't just a specific Church being way out there. I guess it is usually modesty based but not always. Plus, some people just plain like the tradition of it, regardless of whether or not they always dress to those standards.

NewRVLady · Aug 30, 2015

NHdisneylover said:
Or, is that photo from a different area church which has different rules, but since it is a large one you feel anything acceptable there should be acceptable at any other area Catholic church? (it is hard for me to tell from how you wrote it, sorry). If so, I would say that each church/priest can set their own rules and if you really want to be bale to dress as the larger church allows, then get married there and not somewhere whose rules you do not wish to follow.

NH-I found it ironic that all the bride pics I found from local Photographer were wearing strapless (in church too)-and this is the Cathedral where the Bishop is
...to me the same rules should apply at every church in our city

Strict Church rules on Bridal Gown

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