School field trip, bathing suit guidelines

unhinged · May 29, 2015

robinb said:
Yeah ... there is no way I am posting a picture of her in her bikini! Let's just say that her technical suit compresses things quite a bit .

ETA, my DD is only allowed to wear that suit at championship meets and qualifiers. Her coach doesn't allow them to wear technical suits any other time because she believes that kids start to rely on the suit and not the training. They wear regular team tanks the rest of the meets.

Our summer league bans all technical suits period. The most technical a swimmer can wear is an aquablade. Our son has the pink/black jammers

ashley0139 · May 29, 2015

smiths02 said:
I think speedo suits that are actually worn in swim team (boy and girl) while tight relate to the sport. However, a thong and pasties is as asinine for swimming as the old fashioned picture everyone is using to make fun of us prudes with.
Modesty is still a virtue.

To whom? You? Your morals are not everyone's morals and you can't make everyone adhere to yours.

Saimaeve · May 29, 2015

ashley0139 said:
To whom? You? Your morals are not everyone's morals and you can't make everyone adhere to yours.

I think I love you. (Oh wait, that's not virtuous is it? Darn..)

JennaDeeDooDah · May 29, 2015

smiths02 said:
I think speedo suits that are actually worn in swim team (boy and girl) while tight relate to the sport. However, a thong and pasties is as asinine for swimming as the old fashioned picture everyone is using to make fun of us prudes with.
Modesty is still a virtue.

ashley0139 said:
To whom? You? Your morals are not everyone's morals and you can't make everyone adhere to yours.

And these two posts illustrate my previous post about how the school should have said exactly what they expected the swim attire to be. People have different morals and will likely have different opinions on what is appropriate swimwear for these kids.

Shutterbug · May 29, 2015

Saimaeve said:
I think I love you. (Oh wait, that's not virtuous is it? Darn..)

Looks like small talk to me

Saimaeve · May 30, 2015

Shutterbug said:
Looks like small talk to me

That's rather mature of you.

ten6mom · May 30, 2015

You would be surprised at what parents allow their children to wear to school, much less to swimming events. I agree that this particular letter home was poorly written... but even had it stated explicitly what would not be allowed, there would always be kids showing up in outfits that did not follow the rule.

mom2rtk · May 30, 2015

asta said:
I will never forget my daughter's 8th grade school trip to the Florida Keys. The school was a conservative faith based school with a strict dress code. They guidelines called for a one piece suit so that is what I sent with her. The first day one of the teachers posted a picture online with a group of 10 girls in the background. All 10 of these girls were standing arms linked in tiny bikinis. I was so mad that not only did I spend money on the one piece but that the school wasn't even bothered enough that they posted the photo to their website.

There always seems to be a group of people that rules don't apply but the school publishing the photo just rubbed it in everyone else's face.

And THAT is the problem I have with school dress codes. Have them. Don't have them. But just enforce them please. If I go out and spend the cash to buy what fits the code, then don't let everyone else get away with it.

mom2rtk · May 30, 2015

Dawnlight said:
From my son's permission slip for an upcoming, 6th grade, end-of-year field trip that includes swimming:

"The dress code for xxxxxxxx is the same as for school. Girls' bathing suits seem to present a particular challenge. The permission slip says swim suits must be "school appropriate". A very skinny suit is not appropriate for boys or for girls. Please provide strict supervision in the suit your child brings or wears. Regretfully, we would insist that an inadequately clad student needs to put on more clothes. We will bring a few clean t-shirts just in case."

A few questions:

Does this mean that kids can regularly wear a swim suit to school?

WTH is a "skinny suit"? One that fits on a thin middle school girl? One that shows too much skin? (Don't all swimsuits?)

Boys on school swim teams wear Speedos; presumably "school appropriate". Would they be disallowed as being a "very skinny suit"?

I'm all for maintaining a dress code at school, but what are they expecting girls to wear to a pool? A burqini?

My daughter attended the middle school that housed our district swimming pool. They had a swim unit in gym a couple times a year. So yes, they had to wear their swimsuits at school.

I can't even imagine how much fun it would be to oversee kids in middle school (especially) and high school and have to deal with dress codes. Someone always takes stuff too far.

smiths02 · May 30, 2015

ashley0139 said:
To whom? You? Your morals are not everyone's morals and you can't make everyone adhere to yours.

Since morals are all personal an subjective, are you advocating for no rules? The 12 year olds should show up to a school function with thongs and pasties? I still fail to see why the outrage that children should cover themselves at a school function or why saying the fact that girl swimsuits tend to cover less than boy swimsuits=fascists conservatives who want to make women wear burqas.

Soldier's*Sweeties · May 30, 2015

smiths02 said:
I thought it was silly...not offended at all.
Just from reading the original letter, I don't think the school is suggesting burqas or 1920s swimwear for girls. I don't think the guidelines are necessarily sexist either. It does mention that girls swimwear is more challenging--and it is, just looking at the stores will tell you that boys swimwear is generally board shorts (with some sports speedos for swimteam) and girls/women wear is generally tiny bikinis.

And if the kid "violates" the rules, they aren't asked to leave or parents called to bring a change of clothes...they just have to wear a shirt.

ETA: I just don't get the cries of "it's sexist" or "it is crushing their freedom of self expression" if preteens can't wear string bikinis, thongs, pasties, etc. at a SCHOOL function.

The problem is the reasoning that is generally behind it(just like a regular school dress code). They are basically saying that if you show too much skin it is "distracting". It's basically saying that other students can't be expected to control themselves around you.

We were always told that we couldn't wear tank tops(in FLORIDA) because the shoulders and nape of the neck are distracting to boys. THAT is sexist.

momz said:
slightly OT, but close.

DDs 8th grade class had field day yesterday, it was an out-of-uniform day. But they were given the admonishment that the choice of clothing should be "school appropriate". Turns out that means girls can't show their shoulders. Not kidding, it was over the top.

There is one particular male teacher that called out girls specifically regarding their clothing. The kids went alld day without any other teacher (or student for that matter) noticing, but when seen by this particular male they got told something like "your clothing is a distraction, cover your shoulders."

DD is creeped out by this dude, I am too.

Perfect example.

smiths02 · May 30, 2015

Soldier's*Sweeties said:
The problem is the reasoning that is generally behind it(just like a regular school dress code). They are basically saying that if you show too much skin it is "distracting". It's basically saying that other students can't be expected to control themselves around you.

We were always told that we couldn't wear tank tops(in FLORIDA) because the shoulders and nape of the neck are distracting to boys. THAT is sexist.

Perfect example.

We couldn't wear tank tops in Southern California, but no one said it was about distraction, it was about being professional, and boys couldn't wear short shorts, tank tops, etc either

I agree that only enforcing for girls and telling them not to distract boys is sexist

We don't know that this is the case here, though. The letter is a little vague

Soldier's*Sweeties · May 30, 2015

smiths02 said:
We couldn't wear tank tops in Southern California, but no one said it was about distraction, it was about being professional, and boys couldn't wear short shorts, tank tops, etc either

I agree that only enforcing for girls and telling them not to distract boys is sexist

We don't know that this is the case here, though. The letter is a little vague

That would make sense, but in our handbooks it was actually printed out that is was a distraction to the boys.

Dizlvr · May 30, 2015

I think crying "sexist" over the wording is the same as crying "bully" because someone says something not so nice too you. 6th grade boys have raging hormones, so while some women (even their mother's) may not like to hear it, the truth is, half dressed girls are going to be a distraction to some of those boys. Its nobody's fault, it is just the facts. Not stating that in the handbook doesn't really change that.
Oh, and half dressed boys will be a distraction too, but again the fact is that compared to the way girls dress, boys are generally more covered up. Anyone who has been in a school in the last 10 years knows this, admitting it doesn't make you sexist.

mjkacmom · May 30, 2015

Dizlvr said:
I think crying "sexist" over the wording is the same as crying "bully" because someone says something not so nice too you. 6th grade boys have raging hormones, so while some women (even their mother's) may not like to hear it, the truth is, half dressed girls are going to be a distraction to some of those boys. Its nobody's fault, it is just the facts. Not stating that in the handbook doesn't really change that.
Oh, and half dressed boys will be a distraction too, but again the fact is that compared to the way girls dress, boys are generally more covered up. Anyone who has been in a school in the last 10 years knows this, admitting it doesn't make you sexist.

As a mom of a 6th grade boy (and 11th grade boy), I am around them all if the time (and have further insight having a. 6th grade daughter). Most 13 year old boys do not have raging hormones. Most of them are definitely still children, and really not interested in the opposite sex.

ETA - and so what if they are distracted? Do you think they are going to drown? I witness these kids swim in our pool all summer, all girls in bikinis (nothing hanging outs - most girls are just starting to develop), and the boys and girls mostly goner each other.

unhinged · May 30, 2015

smiths02 said:
Since morals are all personal an subjective, are you advocating for no rules? The 12 year olds should show up to a school function with thongs and pasties? I still fail to see why the outrage that children should cover themselves at a school function or why saying the fact that girl swimsuits tend to cover less than boy swimsuits=fascists conservatives who want to make women wear burqas.

As I mentioned, the only rule our schools have is no clothing with offensive writing, drugs or alcohol.

Spaghetti strapped camisoles - ok
short, short, short shorts - ok
muscle shirts - ok
bikinis, even string - ok
jammers - ok
speedos - ok
purple, green, pink or whatever color hair is the rage right now - ok
purple, green, pink underarm hair (for girls which seems the rage now) - ok

Yet I have never, in 25+ years, seen a middle school or elementary child come to school in pasties or a thong. Never. Come to think of it, I have never seen a high school child come to school in pasties. And I reiterate, we do not have a dress code.

I like that our children have some means of expression. And since clothing is not forbidden, it can not be used to make a statement or to annoy authority. The thrill of the shock has been taken away, so students just wear what is comfortable. And it must work as our district was just ranked #1 in the state and our high school the #1 in the state and in the top 25 in the country. 97% go on to college, even in their booty shorts and midriff camisoles.

NewRVLady · May 30, 2015

we went to the beach for our 8th grade field trip-no word back then on swimsuit styles-haha
Back then-the stone ages-sunscreen wasn't used as much
we ALL had terrible and I mean really bad sunburns
2 days later we graduated-the Boys wore red caps and gowns and the girls had gold-we looked like a bunch of LOBSTERS-LOL

Soldier's*Sweeties · May 30, 2015

Dizlvr said:
I think crying "sexist" over the wording is the same as crying "bully" because someone says something not so nice too you. 6th grade boys have raging hormones, so while some women (even their mother's) may not like to hear it, the truth is, half dressed girls are going to be a distraction to some of those boys. Its nobody's fault, it is just the facts. Not stating that in the handbook doesn't really change that.
Oh, and half dressed boys will be a distraction too, but again the fact is that compared to the way girls dress, boys are generally more covered up. Anyone who has been in a school in the last 10 years knows this, admitting it doesn't make you sexist.

I'm sorry but I am not okay with telling my daughter that she can't wear something because boys can't be expected to stay on task or focused. :sad2:

robinb · May 30, 2015

Soldier's*Sweeties said:
I'm sorry but I am not okay with telling my daughter that she can't wear something because boys can't be expected to stay on task or focused.

I had to when my DD was in 8th grade 2 years ago. She was reprimanded about her shorts in June in a school with crappy a/c. Her shorts were not booty shorts. They had a 5" seam but they did not come to her fingertips. The only shorts that would satisfy the requirement were burmuda shorts.

Soldier's*Sweeties · May 30, 2015

robinb said:
I had to when my DD was in 8th grade 2 years ago. She was reprimanded about her shorts in June in a school with crappy a/c. Her shorts were not booty shorts. They had a 5" seam but they did not come to her fingertips. The only shorts that would satisfy the requirement were burmuda shorts.

Well I would do it if I had to, but I wouldn't be happy about it and I would make sure she knew that she wasn't doing anything wrong by wearing those types of clothing.(Not saying you didn't Robin

)

School field trip, bathing suit guidelines

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