Proper Etiquette - Memorial Luncheon

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meliss8599

DIS Veteran

Joined

Feb 11, 2008

• May 29, 2015

• #1

DDs best friend's grandmother passed away two months ago and we sent a nice card at that time. They are having a memorial luncheon for the grandmother tomorrow. What is etiquette on what to give? Another card? They are not particularly religious so a mass card doesn't seem appropriate. We are close with the family since our DDs have been friends for so long, so I want to make sure I do something nice, but don't know if just attending to show our support is enough. Suggestions?

 

LBIJim

Satisfied With 2.71828

Joined

Jul 24, 2009

• May 29, 2015

• #2

meliss8599 said:

DDs best friend's grandmother passed away two months ago and we sent a nice card at that time. They are having a memorial luncheon for the grandmother tomorrow. What is etiquette on what to give? Another card? They are not particularly religious so a mass card doesn't seem appropriate. We are close with the family since our DDs have been friends for so long, so I want to make sure I do something nice, but don't know if just attending to show our support is enough. Suggestions?

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Perhaps a contribution to a charity in memory of the woman.

 

scrapquitler

DIS Veteran

Joined

Aug 15, 2007

• May 29, 2015

• #3

I think attending to show support is enough. If you want to do something more, a small donation to her chosen charity is a nice gesture, but not required.

 

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Dawnlight

DIS Veteran

Joined

Mar 25, 2014

• May 29, 2015

• #4

I don't think any gift is needed, but if your friend has a garden, then maybe some flowers to plant in her grandmother's memory.

 

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anniemae

Either she is eating a delicious

Joined

Jul 31, 2007

• May 29, 2015

• #5

I don't think a gift is necessary. I think attending the lunch to honor her is showing your support and will mean the world to the family. You already gave a card.

 

bsblady01

disney lover

Joined

Jan 29, 2015

• May 29, 2015

• #6

I would make some food to take to the family

 

S

SMD

DIS Veteran

Joined

Feb 15, 2004

• May 29, 2015

• #7

bsblady01 said:

I would make some food to take to the family

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Isn't that kind of weird 2 months later. Especially at a luncheon? I could understand right after, but it doesn't seem necessary at this point.

 

bsblady01

disney lover

Joined

Jan 29, 2015

• May 29, 2015

• #8

SMD said:

Isn't that kind of weird 2 months later. Especially at a luncheon? I could understand right after, but it doesn't seem necessary at this point.

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no it's not weird at all

 

minnie mum

Unapologetic Disney Fan(atic)

Joined

Mar 8, 2011

• May 29, 2015

• #9

bsblady01 said:

I would make some food to take to the family

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I don't think that bringing food to a hosted meal is appropriate unless it is a pot luck.

OP, I don't think that a gift is necessary or expected for something like this. But if you feel like you need to do something, making a donation to their favourite charity would be a nice gesture.

 

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emma'smom

<font color=magenta>P.S. Who would serve turnips a

Joined

Jan 16, 2006

• May 29, 2015

• #10

I'd write them a note saying you are continuing to think of them....the plant is a nice idea too.

 

The Mystery Machine

Sunrise at my house. :+)

Joined

Jan 4, 2001

• May 30, 2015

• #11

Card with a note.

 

NewRVLady

Registered

Joined

Jan 26, 2014

• May 30, 2015

• #12

Ok-I have never heard of a memorial luncheon?
I have been to a memorial SERVICE-because the deceased willed his body to science. There was a prayer service , then many, many stood up and spoke of the gentleman-it was very nice.

I just don't 'get" what this is-or what you DO at it??????

 

Kimberlyann11

I make you clutch your pearls

Joined

Jun 25, 2011

• May 30, 2015

• #13

NewRVLady said:

Ok-I have never heard of a memorial luncheon?
I have been to a memorial SERVICE-because the deceased willed his body to science. There was a prayer service , then many, many stood up and spoke of the gentleman-it was very nice.

I just don't 'get" what this is-or what you DO at it??????

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We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

 

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meliss8599

DIS Veteran

Joined

Feb 11, 2008

• May 30, 2015

• #14

Kimberlyann11 said:

We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

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Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes, it was a nice luncheon where there were family and personal photos displayed and whoever wanted to speak of memories of her could. I ended up purchasing a beautiful triple orchid and brought it to the luncheon and they chose to display it very prettily near the display of pictures. Thanks for all the suggestions. I felt much better not showing up empty-handed.

 

scrapquitler

DIS Veteran

Joined

Aug 15, 2007

• May 30, 2015

• #15

Kimberlyann11 said:

We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

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This is pretty common in our area of Vermont. There aren't that many religious people, and it's pretty common for people to have a private funeral (or none) and then later they have a 'celebration of life' where everyone gets together somewhere and has a luncheon and talks about the person who passed away. Sometimes it's at a private home, sometimes a park, or a restaurant. It's usually a lot more upbeat than a funeral/wake.