What would you do? About paying for our trip.

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Dimples1973ca

Mouseketeer

Joined

Mar 25, 2008

• May 25, 2015

• #1

To begin, I have an awesome generous mother in law that I have convinced to join us at Disney for 11 nights this August.

A little background.... In July 2013, DH, DD, Dmil, Dfil and myself were going to Disney for 10 days. My Dmil and I worked out the payment. We were taking care of the three of us and she paid for Dfil and herself. Well I sent her the breakdown and she wired the entire balance to us. It was about 12 grand. She refused to take it back. Well they cancelled because he got ill and we kept all of the money. There was no way she would take it back.

Last year, two weeks before we went DFIL passes away and we tried to convince her to come with us, she promised to come with us next time.

So that brings us to present day. We have budgeted to pay for her and we are bringing my niece. She is now wanting to know when we need the money to pay for it. I tried to explain that this is a gift to her for being so great to us but she won't take no for an answer. So I told her $500 will cover her flight and we do the rest but she wants a total price of everything. The all in price for 5 of us is an estimated 11 grand.

What would you suggest I do? I appreciate her help but I want to take her away and thank her.


Lori

 

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suebeelin

DIS Veteran

Joined

Jan 24, 2011

• May 25, 2015

• #2

Oh, she sounds so wonderful and sweet. I wish I had parents in laws like yours.... My condolences about your fil.

I would thank her and tell her she has already paid. However, if she insists, perhaps she could cover a few meals?

Btw, where are you staying? That's quite expensive! Have you ever thought about renting via the timeshare rental market in a dvc villa (or buying dvc, for that matter) for the space and cost savings? You would probably break even on the principal, after maintenance fees, in 5 trips. Just a thought, particularly since you seem to be yearly WDW visitors

 

Last edited: May 25, 2015

MegaSilver

Mouseketeer

Joined

Aug 8, 2014

• May 26, 2015

• #3

If she insists on paying, and she doesn't have money problems, take what would have been her portion, and donate it in your FIL's name to a worthy charity.

 

Iam.Goofy

Earning My Ears

Joined

May 26, 2015

• May 26, 2015

• #4

Every situation is different, of course, but I suspect she wouldn't be offering (and insisting) on paying if she didn't want to pay. Some family dynamics are odd, where, if you accept the payment you will owe her in some unintentional or non-obvious way. If that isn't the case, perhaps she values the family time and wants to put her money toward it. It's not a bad thing.

 

trivial

🇨🇦

Joined

Oct 27, 2004

• May 26, 2015

• #5

What a nice problem to have. If she insists on paying and won't take no for an answer, roll with it.

 

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saskdw

DIS Veteran

Joined

Feb 7, 2011

• May 26, 2015

• #6

1st world problems!!

 

dancin Disney style

<font color=blue>I found one to share with some fa

Joined

Apr 18, 2005

• May 26, 2015

• #7

If paying for it is no problem for you then don't even tell her what the cost is.

 

alohamom

DIS Veteran

Joined

Oct 31, 2003

• May 26, 2015

• #8

I really like the idea that suebeelin above suggested-presenting her with the idea of her covering a few meals or maybe an extra special one that she chooses for all of you. Hope you all have a great time...

 

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Dimples1973ca

Mouseketeer

Joined

Mar 25, 2008

• May 27, 2015

• #9

Thanks for the feedback. We are so fortunate to be able to have such a dilemma. LOL. My DMIL is very secure financially and my DH is her only child and our DD is her only grandchild so we are spoiled no matter what.
She asked me again about “settling her bill”. She cracks me up. So I copied her on my spreadsheet including estimated costs, what has been paid so far etc. I included this message to my email:
“Mom

Here is the breakdown of the trip. Somethings are paid and others aren’t due until we check in or get closer to when we go. Dave and I don't want you to pay for any of it because it is our gift to you but I have also learned that I will never win this argument with you. Dave and I appreciate your kindness and generosity more than you will ever know.

You can decide what you would like to contribute but again you don't need to pay us anything. Having you around and making memories is worth way more to Dave, Jill and I..

Love

Me”

DH and I agree that is she does pay for the majority of the trip, we will pay for some “surprises” that we know she will enjoy. Afternoon Tea at the Grand Floridian, Cabana at Typhoon Lagoon, Behind the Seeds tour as she is an avid gardener, maybe a special family photo session.

Either way it is going to be an awesome trip

 

tgropp

DIS Veteran

Joined

Jan 3, 2007

• May 27, 2015

• #10

We love to take our two children, their children and spouses on all our Disney vacations. We have always enjoyed our family vacays when our children were young and enjoy them even more when grandchildren are involved. I always have paid for airfare, accomodations and meals but have asked if they would pay for their park tickets and parking at the airport. Just something to let them contribute.
Like your MIL, we too are blessed with a wonderful DIL and SIL so we love doing this for them and they are also very appreciative for their trips. I am sure that she treasures every moment with your family as we do with ours. Your letter to her says it all. It will be up to her.

 

alohamom

DIS Veteran

Joined

Oct 31, 2003

• May 27, 2015

• #11

I think you are on the right track-I know if someone scheduled a surprise like the GF afternoon tea or behind the seeds I would be thrilled. Not just with the event but the thought and caring that goes along with it!

 

Skjhjb

DIS Veteran

Joined

Jul 8, 2012

• May 29, 2015

• #12

Dimples1973ca said:

Thanks for the feedback. We are so fortunate to be able to have such a dilemma. LOL. My DMIL is very secure financially and my DH is her only child and our DD is her only grandchild so we are spoiled no matter what.
She asked me again about “settling her bill”. She cracks me up. So I copied her on my spreadsheet including estimated costs, what has been paid so far etc. I included this message to my email:
“Mom

Here is the breakdown of the trip. Somethings are paid and others aren’t due until we check in or get closer to when we go. Dave and I don't want you to pay for any of it because it is our gift to you but I have also learned that I will never win this argument with you. Dave and I appreciate your kindness and generosity more than you will ever know.

You can decide what you would like to contribute but again you don't need to pay us anything. Having you around and making memories is worth way more to Dave, Jill and I..

Love

Me”

DH and I agree that is she does pay for the majority of the trip, we will pay for some “surprises” that we know she will enjoy. Afternoon Tea at the Grand Floridian, Cabana at Typhoon Lagoon, Behind the Seeds tour as she is an avid gardener, maybe a special family photo session.

Either way it is going to be an awesome trip

Click to expand...

I will say my girls and I had a GREAT time at tea - we absolutely loved it. But I totally recommend not booking a 3:00pm time (when you have 7:00 reservations at O'Hana) - you'll be too full for dinner! LOL

I also HIGHLY recommend http://disneyfineartphotography.com/portraits/ - we went last May for our 20th anniversary, and booked a Mini Portrait Session. Even with 5 of us (3 teenagers) we were for sure a good hour and a half (even tho the info says 20 minutes) at the Beach Club. The photographer was amazing, and definitely worth every penny. Our photos are amazing. The $150 includes a memory stick with every photo on it, so you can reprint them any way you want. It would be a lovely thing to do with your MIL!