Cape May, NJ Wedding. Need help with budget etc.

Tinker'n'Fun

Apple peaches pumpkin pie, not ready holler "I"
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
My husband and I were invited to a wedding in September in Cape May, NJ. I know on the boards it seems that NJ is different in gifts/amounts.

I am from an area where I would put $150.00 in the card for a person that is a close friend which this is. I do not know if this is enough, proper etc. We will drive and they are rooms held at Le Mer Beachfront if I have that correct. So I will have to pay for the two nights there also.

It will be a beach wedding. What should I consider wearing?

Also if this matters, while researching for her registry it looks as though they were actually married two years ago and just did not have a "full wedding". Maybe it was a Justice of the Peace. Actually this is none of my business but I have never encountered this and don't know if it makes a difference. I would like to send a shower gift even though I don't know if they are having one.

One last note: They are not from NJ, just are having a beach wedding.

Thanks for any help/advice.
 
Disclaimer: I live in NJ but I'm not from here. I believe that you should give whatever you feel is appropriate. Those who claim that you must "cover your plate" or whatever or risk being looked down upon are not people I come across in real life, just here on the web.

For a beach wedding, I would wear a pretty sundress and get a cute pair of flip flops for the ceremony. I'd probably have a change of shoes for the reception, but that's only because I don't love wearing flips that much. Oh, and bring a sweater or light jacket, especially if it's an evening wedding and/or later in the month. You just never know when a cool breeze might come in off the ocean.

Personally, I wouldn't let the 2-year thing bother me, and I likely wouldn't send a shower gift unless I was invited to that.
 
Shower gift only if you attend. I think 150 is more then appropriate. I also think 100. is appropriate. September room rates are normally reasonable here. It is beautiful in Cape May in September so you will enjoy yourself. I agree with the sun dress and flip flops or sandals. I have seen beach weddings where they have flip flops for everybody as gifts. Beach weddings are less formal but not casual.
 
Disclaimer: I live in NJ but I'm not from here. I believe that you should give whatever you feel is appropriate. Those who claim that you must "cover your plate" or whatever or risk being looked down upon are not people I come across in real life, just here on the web.

For a beach wedding, I would wear a pretty sundress and get a cute pair of flip flops for the ceremony. I'd probably have a change of shoes for the reception, but that's only because I don't love wearing flips that much. Oh, and bring a sweater or light jacket, especially if it's an evening wedding and/or later in the month. You just never know when a cool breeze might come in off the ocean.

Personally, I wouldn't let the 2-year thing bother me, and I likely wouldn't send a shower gift unless I was invited to that.
....I agree....in fact, 2 years ago we attended a beach wedding [Sea Bright] and the couple actually had a large round bucket that was filled with complimentary pairs of flip-flops for their guests, as the actual ceremony was ON the sand. I wore a nice sun dress, but definitely bring a shawl or cover-up for those chilly nights...
 


There are plenty of wedding ceremonies on the beach in Cape May. Every time I'm there in late spring/summer/early fall it seems one is going on, or about to occur.

I've seen the guests in everything from swimwear/shorts to very formal.
 
Thank you for all your advice. I will most likely put my usual in the card between 150-200.00. Sundress, guess I need to to some walking this summer to get in a little better shape. It is a good incentive for me.

I just wanted to send her a small gift for our friendship. While we don't live near each other she has gone out of her way to make my husband and I feel better about ourselves. A real kind soul.

As I said, I was just really surprised when I googled that her wedding license shows up in all the local papers nears her. I have never heard of anyone hiding their wedding. The Save the Date card, says come join us in a Celebration of our Wedding. So we will see when the actual invitation comes as the cards says their will be weekend festivities. Sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe they saved until they could have the wedding they always wanted. I commend them for that. So smart. But to never say you are actually married, just different.

I may post a few sundresses and shawls and wraps here if you don't mind. Again, thank you.

We are looking forward the wedding it is a week before our Wedding anniversary and we will stay an extra day or two on the cape then head to Atlantic City for our Anniversary. Just need to start planning now to get some better prices.
 
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they are already married. The newspapers publish the list of people that have been granted a license. That doesn't not mean they used it. Something may have happened at the time that made them postpone. If you're curious about it check again a week to 30 days before the wedding and see if a license id granted again.
 


I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they are already married. The newspapers publish the list of people that have been granted a license. That doesn't not mean they used it. Something may have happened at the time that made them postpone. If you're curious about it check again a week to 30 days before the wedding and see if a license id granted again.

I will. That is a good idea. I am going to see her soon. My husband said to keep quiet and let her tell us on her time. Which I will. Either way I am happy for her and her fiancee/husband.
 
Your gift should be fine.

September and October are still very busy in Cape May and rooms probably will still be at least 250 a night.
 
Your gift should be fine.

September and October are still very busy in Cape May and rooms probably will still be at least 250 a night.

Yeah I looked up the hotel last night. It is the hotel next to the Ceremony/Festivities. She has rooms booked out so I am hoping there is a small discount at least. She stated there are other hotels, B&B's in the area but I don't think I will find a real deal. So I will look for cheaper stays after the wedding, a great discount on the dress and my husbands outfit. Plus I think some of the food is covered. We have never been and it does sound nice. Which reminds me I need to check and see if parking has a charge to put it in the budget.
 
My husband and I were invited to a wedding in September in Cape May, NJ. I know on the boards it seems that NJ is different in gifts/amounts.

I am from an area where I would put $150.00 in the card for a person that is a close friend which this is. I do not know if this is enough, proper etc. We will drive and they are rooms held at Le Mer Beachfront if I have that correct. So I will have to pay for the two nights there also.

It will be a beach wedding. What should I consider wearing?

Also if this matters, while researching for her registry it looks as though they were actually married two years ago and just did not have a "full wedding". Maybe it was a Justice of the Peace. Actually this is none of my business but I have never encountered this and don't know if it makes a difference. I would like to send a shower gift even though I don't know if they are having one.

One last note: They are not from NJ, just are having a beach wedding.

Thanks for any help/advice.

I'm from NJ and hate the tacky "cover your plate" mentality of so many people. Give what you would give to this couple regardless of where they choose to have their wedding. You're being invited to share the their special day not cover the cost of your share.

On a side note, we stayed at Le Mar last summer for a long weekend. It's a nice place and right across from the beach.
 
Yeah I looked up the hotel last night. It is the hotel next to the Ceremony/Festivities. She has rooms booked out so I am hoping there is a small discount at least. She stated there are other hotels, B&B's in the area but I don't think I will find a real deal. So I will look for cheaper stays after the wedding, a great discount on the dress and my husbands outfit. Plus I think some of the food is covered. We have never been and it does sound nice. Which reminds me I need to check and see if parking has a charge to put it in the budget.

I don't know of any hotel in Cape May that charges for parking. Although you have to be a guest of the hotel to park there.
 
I'm from NJ and hate the tacky "cover your plate" mentality of so many people.

I married into a big NY family with this mentality. Nothing I can do to get away from these people now……they’re family! And I was truly floored when I was told by DF (at the time, now DH) that toward the end of our reception we would go around to all the tables with a small white bag and collect the checks and cash. I was like, “You’re kidding, right?” Oh no, the Italians are not kidding!!! That is how it is done!

The Cape May beach wedding sounds wonderful! Enjoy!
 
Beach weddings are so beautiful, we have watched quite a few from afar when we are down the Jersey Shore. If you don't mind not staying at the hotel the bride chose look into home away or vrbo. You might be able to get a lower price on a condo or studio. Also for Atlantic City keep checking Living Social and Groupon for hotel discounts. The hotels right on the boardwalk there get expensive!

Have a great time!
 
NJ born and raised. Don't even worry about the "cover the cost of your plate" nonsense. I agree with the PP who said give what you normally would.

I lived in CMC for a while; Cape May is lovely and you guys will have a ball! Definitely bring a sweater or wrap of some kind, just in case. And there are lots of budget-friendly places to eat, especially in the early fall when prices drop everywhere.
 
Another NJ person here. Give what you would normally give. As for attire I would be dressy without being formal. That can mean slacks and a blouse, any kind of a dress, sundress, maxi dress etc. Don't bother with heels and if you are going to actually be on the beach you want shoes you can slip on and off and no hose etc. Just be prepared with a wrap and something to hold your hair in case it's windy.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Top