Convincing new husband to visit more than every 5 years?

agavegirl1 · Mar 31, 2015

Dear DIS,

I have been a member for a while now and managed to convince my current Fiance to visit with me twice. He was somewhat stunned by the price on visit one (Beach Club during F&W) and a little placated in October (POP with a bunch of discounted gift cards and Disney reward dollars).

I still need my Disney "fix" and haven't adequately expressed it.

How do YOU talk "Disney" to a non-Disney spouse and actually get to go?

SplashMo · Mar 31, 2015

I would also post on the Budget Board... they may have ideas....

bswift · Mar 31, 2015

Maybe take a short solo trip? Or use Priceline/Hotwire to get a good deal on an off-site hotel.

GrumpyDad1974 · Mar 31, 2015

DW is over Disney we would go once a year now she has no interest (burnt out)... so it's me and DD. Father daughter trips last year and this Christmas, not sure what I will do when she goes to college in a year or so . Do you have anyone else you could travel with? As far as the cost we stay at values and we have a Disney Premier Visa so we use points to pay for 1/3 to 1/2 of the trip.

GAN · Mar 31, 2015

agavegirl1 said:
Dear DIS,

I have been a member for a while now and managed to convince my current Fiance to visit with me twice. He was somewhat stunned by the price on visit one (Beach Club during F&W) and a little placated in October (POP with a bunch of discounted gift cards and Disney reward dollars).

I still need my Disney "fix" and haven't adequately expressed it.

How do YOU talk "Disney" to a non-Disney spouse and actually get to go?

Have you considered renting DVC points? It should be a cost saver if that's the primary issue. Otherwise, look for a good attorney.....

dprincessmom · Mar 31, 2015

Honestly this the second trip that DH has taken with us in 6 years. You go without him and then take another trip to somewhere not Disney.
This is what works for us. If you are taking weeklong trips, then rotate. If you are going anywhere in peak season, you will quickly be able to see that vacation prices are up because people are traveling again. The trip to WDW is actually about the same price as the beach house we were looking at.

Good Luck

cjparker0110 · Mar 31, 2015

My dad was never as excited about WDW as my mom (and the rest of us). He always felt Disney was good every 5 years. Luckily, my mom pushed for every 2-3.

Here are a few suggestions I would make for you:

1. Look into pricing for some other vacation resorts (including beach houses). Once he sees those he may not be put off by the price
2. Plan for the budget hotels or slower periods in the year. The costs of your trip will vary with when you go. If you go when it's less expensive, he may be more willing to try it.
3. Find out what he would like to do. Does he have a dream vacation spot? Maybe you guys could alternate trips. Go to his place one year, and yours the next. I think this is where my parents went wrong. Mom never did anything my dad wanted to so he just stopped going on vacations with her. Even to this day they vacation separately most of the time. I am looking forward to our family trip in 2017 so they will be together!

Hopefully those work for you. Congrats on your relationship btw!

ArwenMarie · Mar 31, 2015

How about staying offsite and renting a car and doing a bunch of different stuff mixed in with Disney days? Maybe even get a 1 bedroom villa, plenty of space, alternate days at the resort with the parks, find some offsite places to eat (save so much money), stock up on a few groceries. One reason I like offsite now other than the price for the space, is getting out of the Disney bubble for a bit.

Jennytoon · Mar 31, 2015

I think the question I have is, is it Disney, or the price, or both? I can think of a few approaches you could take:

If it's just Disney and he would be fine to pay that to vacation somewhere else, then if you can show that the price is similar to anything else you can do you could make it into a "my pick / you pick" situation where you get to pick in alternate years, or something like that.

If it's a question of being fine with Disney but not as diehard / feeling that the experience is worth that money for him, then an example compromise you might consider making is to rent a condo off-site. I know not everyone is a fan of leaving the bubble, but a kitchen and off-site do allow you to control a huge amount of the cost, and he may actually feel better about the cost if it is a "vacation with Disney" rather than a "Disney vacation". Of course, this might not work for you, just an example -- the point is that you may be able to make compromises that either raise the value of the vacation experience in DH's eyes, reduce the cost, or both.

If it truly is just a sticker shock question and DH would be totally into Disney as a vacation if you won the trip in a sweepstakes, then the problem is what each of you considers "worth it" or "good value" in a vacation. This is a hard question to address because you are not likely to ever change each other's mind about it -- it's a personal assessment. A few years ago, my husband and I started keeping separate slush fund accounts where we each get a certain amount of money / month that we control, no questions asked (in our case it's about $200 each). This ended a lot (almost 20 years worth) of arguments about what was "worth" spending money on. It turns out we have really different spending patterns ... he rarely accumulates a lot of money in his, because he's more likely to go for the "quick fix". I'm usually the stingy one, so I have no problem accumulating gobs and gobs of money by just sticking to my normal patterns ... that I then spend on things like Disney because it's already earmarked as money that doesn't have to be spent responsibly. If you did something like this, you could use your money to pay for the whole thing, to go solo, or to make up the difference between the "regular" vacation budget and the cost of a Disney vacation.

rwdavis2 · Mar 31, 2015

We don't go any more than every 4 years anyway. It makes each trip seem new and we avoid much of the construction chaos. 2016 is our next one. So between trips I live vicariously here.

kaetra · Mar 31, 2015

Others have given very good advice. Understand that some people just don't understand the Magic of WDW and they probably never will. However if Disney brings you great joy, then a husband who loves you will want to make you happy. The key is to compromise.

Sticker shock is amplified when a person can't see the value of something, so keep WDW expenses as low as you can. Unless a luxury resort is very important to you, it is possible to do Disney for reasonable prices. For us the Magic of Disney is in the parks, so we cut costs on the resort side of the budget.

cjparker0110 · Mar 31, 2015

I should add that while looking at WDW costs with my wife, she was in complete shock! Her family is big (10 kids) so she never went on real vacations (just visited family or went camping). They were all money minded. When she saw the cost of a cheap WDW trip she decided we would never be able to do it. So I started saving money in an envelope. When we go in 2017 we won't have any problems and I believe she will be excited for the next trip!

kaetra · Mar 31, 2015

cjparker0110 said:
Mom never did anything my dad wanted to so he just stopped going on vacations with her. Even to this day they vacation separately most of the time.

My husband loves walking up mountains. I don't see the appeal at all. But we alternate trips and I walk up those mountains because being there brings him joy. I certainly hope the things going through my mind when I'm walking up Bertha in Glacier National aren't the same things going through his mind when he is in Disney World. I would hate to think someone could detest my beloved WDW that much.

OrangeCountyCommuter · Mar 31, 2015

I don't. Disney is my place and he has his places (I don't fish for example)

We do a lot of things together, but we also do some long weekends apart. Life's not a three legged race and it does give us stories to share.

For him it's not the money, he just doesn't really get it. No big deal.

joannjoe · Mar 31, 2015

GAN said:
Have you considered renting DVC points? It should be a cost saver if that's the primary issue. Otherwise, look for a good attorney.....

I totally agree, with this statement! I wish I would have asked that question before marriage! My wife hates Disney so now I have to pay for 2 vacations a year one for me and the kids and one for her. I'm still looking for a good lawyer!

vallerii · Mar 31, 2015

This will sound like a joke almost, but it actually worked for me.
Take a few trips elsewhere. Make sure fiance/husband see how much they "actually" cost as well. Make sure you go somewhere overpriced, with poor service or lots of traffic. lol.

We had a few ill fated trips. Universal with horrible service, trapped on a ride. We spent a fortune for just a weekend in Toronto, got a parking ticket when our car was all of 1 inch over a line, and the weekend cost way more than a weekend at Disney would have. New York was fun, but the cost of food, cabs, the traffic, etc.. didn't necessarily make it relaxing or inexpensive! So many trips we went on while they were great experiences turned out to be still pretty costly when we added up food and entertainment even though the initial flight or hotel costs weren't and there were plenty of stressful aspects with traveling around them, waiting in lines, or poor service.

When we were first married my husband begrudgingly would go to Disney, but as he's compared it to how much less stressful it was to other trips, and how the money was actually comparable when you looked at all the nickel and diming of other trips to cosmopolitan cities (Husband hates camping, so that didn't factor into the picture.), and then he started to notice how simply RELAXED and HAPPY I was there, it became a relaxing happy place for him as well.

I never would have dreamed my disney mocking husband would have agreed to purchase DVC recently, but the more he went the more he realized it's benefits. Having a young child now certainly even added reinforcement.

I will admit I'm the big saver for the trips though and a big planner on how to maximize a buck. Disney Movie Rewards for gift cards, literally rolling change for extra spending cash, squirreling away $1 here, $5 here, watching airlines and hotel deals like a hawk and anything else I can do to give my husband a little less sticker shock. Like others have said, there are ways to do things a lot cheaper than CB during F&W too

Also, when/if you do Disney again really make a point to see what makes him light up and be sure to include plenty of it on your trip. Is it the thrill rides? Is it actually a relaxing spot away from the crowds, a nice dinner out, or a boat ride? See what he finds special at all and focus in on that, reinforce it and maybe he'll come to associate Disney with something that makes him happy too.

Gumbo4x4 · Mar 31, 2015

Compromise. Go less frequently than you'd prefer but more frequently than he'd prefer.

And be open to the kinds of vacations HE wants to take as well.

mom2rtk · Mar 31, 2015

Not loving Disney is not a personality flaw.

Start by using the suggestions here to get the cost down. Then get behind planning some trips to other places as well. You're looking for give and take here.

kaetra · Mar 31, 2015

vallerii said:
This will sound like a joke almost, but it actually worked for me.
Take a few trips elsewhere. Make sure fiance/husband see how much they "actually" cost as well. Make sure you go somewhere overpriced, with poor service or lots of traffic. lol.

I like the way you think! :flower3:

ThistleMae · Mar 31, 2015

GAN said:
Have you considered renting DVC points? It should be a cost saver if that's the primary issue. Otherwise, look for a good attorney.....

LOL! Well if he is a keeper; find another travel buddy or go solo! It will be an adventure to try it Solo and from what I hear people seem to love it just the same. That's a tough one for me, haven't gone solo yet but I am considering it!

Convincing new husband to visit more than every 5 years?

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