<sigh> last name differrence

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 3, 2015

I've been divorced for 12 years and I promise over it the second it happened. Remarried for 9 years. I enthusiastically took my husband's last name. The new last name becoming integral to who I am

However, it bothers me on behalf of my children every so often when something comes to the house with my "new" last name. My DVC member card still has my old name - despite the contract change of name.

Today, the Incredibles wished us our "New Last Name" Family a Happy Vacation.

WDW sent a lovely picture as a memento from our last vacation to: "New Last Name" Family.

I haven't the courage thus far to ask my children 21 & 24 how they feel about it but there are times I wonder: Do they feel left out? There aren't any other children but still - I know how excited it is to see your own name - that's why it is such a great marketing gimmick.

Thoughts?

quirty30 · Mar 4, 2015

ILoveMyDVC said:
I've been divorced for 12 years and I promise over it the second it happened. Remarried for 9 years. I enthusiastically took my husband's last name. The new last name becoming integral to who I am

However, it bothers me on behalf of my children every so often when something comes to the house with my "new" last name. My DVC member card still has my old name - despite the contract change of name.

Today, the Incredibles wished us our "New Last Name" Family a Happy Vacation.

WDW sent a lovely picture as a memento from our last vacation to: "New Last Name" Family.

I haven't the courage thus far to ask my children 21 & 24 how they feel about it but there are times I wonder: Do they feel left out? There aren't any other children but still - I know how excited it is to see your own name - that's why it is such a great marketing gimmick.

Thoughts?

I have been divorced for about 8 years and never remarried. I am all about minimizing hassles in my life. I kept my married name as it was easy to do so and it didn't define me. Not to mention I'm known professionally that way. And more than anything, it made life easier for my kids post divorce. That being said, I'm rather astounded that Disney hasn't figured out a way to send Mickey Mail out in a way to accommodate all sorts of families who don't share a common last name.

crisi · Mar 4, 2015

I kept my name when I married, my husband kept his, and the children got his. We get all sorts of forms of our name, and the kids roll with it. They think its funny when they are "suddenly given" my last name on marketing materials. Most often its I get their last name, which I'm fine with 90% of the time. I figure when something is addressed to "the Johnson family" they mean the family that has a Johnson in it - I we aren't the Smith-Johnsons, and someone is getting left out.

bwvBound · Mar 4, 2015

crisi said:
I figure when something is addressed to "the Johnson family" they mean the family that has a Johnson in it ...

I like that interpretation.

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 4, 2015

quirty30 said:
I have been divorced for about 8 years and never remarried. I am all about minimizing hassles in my life. I kept my married name as it was easy to do so and it didn't define me. Not to mention I'm known professionally that way. And more than anything, it made life easier for my kids post divorce. That being said, I'm rather astounded that Disney hasn't figured out a way to send Mickey Mail out in a way to accommodate all sorts of families who don't share a common last name.

I also kept my first husband's name after the divorce to keep consistency for the children.

I do wish Disney had a way to send to 2 names. I won't hold my breath, though as they still cannot seem to send me anything as an annual pass holder but regularly do to my husband. i.e. the AP slider for the Magicband

DMKEDM · Mar 5, 2015

We're another family w/different last names (I reverted to my own birth name when I got divorced--26 years ago now)...my DS is used to it--but I have a weird (made up by my g'father for my mother for whom I'm named) first name and Disney is every bit as bad as "everyone" else at mangling my name. I'm used to it, too. But it still bugs me. People (and businesses) who either get my name right, or admit up front that they don't know how to pronounce it or whether it's male or female, get extra points from me. I've been known to buy something on that basis alone!

Disney's IT stinks...what makes us think their marketing (which is another form of IT, or maybe it's better phrased to say their marketing is based on IT) is any better? I love-love-love WDW, but as a corporation, you may have Disney in all its glory...I never expect anything good from them when it's a purely corporate issue...

OZMom · Mar 5, 2015

My mother re-married and had a different last name then us from the time I was 7. I don't think it ever bothered me to see "the (stepdad's name) family" I never thought that I was not included in that.

We also have 3 last names. DS5 is named for my grandmother and has her last name as well. DS4 and DH have the same last name and I have the name I was born with.

I have 2 friends who kept their maiden names and their kids have their husband's last name.

I think it is so common these days, at least in the area I live it is, that most do not even question it at this point.

bumbershoot · Mar 5, 2015

ILoveMyDVC said:
I haven't the courage thus far to ask my children 21 & 24 how they feel about it

They are full grown adults. I'm quite sure they do not care.

ILoveMyDVC said:
it bothers me on behalf of my children every so often when something comes to the house with my "new" last name.

When you choose to change your name, I think it's important you decide not to let things like this bother you.

My mom was married 2 times after she and my father-person divorced, and she chose to change her name each time. I still have my father's family's last name. It didn't bother me in any way, shape, or form that she had a different last name, except that it showed me that my teachers weren't too bright because they always got her name wrong.

It's a name. It changes nothing about WHO your parents are, where you live, who raised you, etc. It's a name and, very obviously, can be changed at the drop of a hat.

Stop letting this bother you, especially stop letting it bother you on behalf of someone else. If they are bothered that's their business.

Neither DH nor I changed our last names and DS is hyphenated*, and since I book our travel, everything comes in MY last name and no one in this household cares!

*and no, it's not my business what he does with his name when he marries. he can change it entirely, change it to her name, hyphenate with hers (secretly I want him to marry another hyphenated person and use the entire thing)- doesn't matter, not my business.

nkereina · Mar 5, 2015

A different reason, but I kept my maiden name when DH & I married, so we have different last names. This happens to us all the time and I am often referred to as "Mrs (husbands last name)" but it doesn't bother me. Unless your kids have a chip about your new marriage, I suspect it just is what it is to them. I doubt they're offended or feeling left out. Just a unique circumstance is all!

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 5, 2015

OZMom said:
My mother re-married and had a different last name then us from the time I was 7. I don't think it ever bothered me to see "the (stepdad's name) family" I never thought that I was not included in that.

We also have 3 last names. DS5 is named for my grandmother and has her last name as well. DS4 and DH have the same last name and I have the name I was born with.

I have 2 friends who kept their maiden names and their kids have their husband's last name.

I think it is so common these days, at least in the area I live it is, that most do not even question it at this point.

Thank you

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 5, 2015

nkereina said:
A different reason, but I kept my maiden name when DH & I married, so we have different last names. This happens to us all the time and I am often referred to as "Mrs (husbands last name)" but it doesn't bother me. Unless your kids have a chip about your new marriage, I suspect it just is what it is to them. I doubt they're offended or feeling left out. Just a unique circumstance is all!

No chip - no overlapping - divorced for quite a few years before I met my new husband. But I think I might just ask my 24 yr old how he feels about it. Thanks for pushing me to do it

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 7, 2015

Re reading what I wrote- I was married for 9 years; divorced for 6 years; Remarried for 9. There was 9 years between the two name changes. What was I thinking when I wrote it?

I am not sorry I am divorced, remarried or that I chose either husband's name ( I wasn't a fan of my maiden name).

I feel bad that places like Disney have cool new marketing "stuff" that never has my children's name on it. Yes, they are in their early 20s now but for the last 9 years, they were not- they were tweens and teens.

I know that I enjoy seeing the hand drawn cartoon to my "New Name" - it's easy for me to imagine that my children or anyone else might like to have one with their name. That's why Disney does it because people like to see their name.

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 7, 2015

and still my math is wrong somewhere - it should add to 26 years - oldest is 24.

DebbieB · Mar 7, 2015

I can't imagine a 21 or 24 year old would care what name Disney mail comes in. If you are the one paying for it, then it comes in your name. I travel with friends, stuff like that comes in whoever's name is on the room and to their address. Do we care? No.

ILoveMyDVC · Mar 7, 2015

Well it's settled - just asked my DS @ 24 - he said that it was ridiculous to care about that. There you go - just had to ask. Worried for nothing.

<sigh> last name differrence

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