People Magazine Article about Breastfeeding after 12 Months

[DisneyFan32WI]

I disliked the photo. EDITED TO ADD: I just saw there were more pictures! I felt very, very uncomfortable with all except the first one.

I breastfed both my kids for a few months each. Once they got teeth and could eat baby food out of a jar or rice, I bowed out!

I have somewhat of a strange stance on breastfeeding. I believe every woman should at least attempt it. I don't understand why some don't even try? After all, that's what they are made for! (I'm talking healthy women who wouldn't have a very valid medical reason not to). I completely understand that some women have a difficult time with it (I'm one of those who had cracking, bleeding, mastitis, lack of milk, etc). I still continued on and didn't give up because I had an enormous amount of pressure from my own mother. I felt as though I was a failure every time I mentioned wanting to quit. She lived nearby and was always over. In hindsight, I wish she didn't meddle quite so much, although I know she had good intentions and was just trying to help.

Now, on the flip side..... I also don't like seeing kids being breastfed too long either. The nutritional value just isn't there at some point, and children need to be moving on to other foods and drink. I don't understand the need for mothers to be that attached. For me, that age cut-off would be somewhere around 9-10 months before it starts to make me feel uncomfortable (like looking at the photo in the OP).

BUT... my kids are all grown up now. I don't know if I'd feel or act any differently now if I had to do it all over again. I personally wouldn't judge anyone if I saw them out in public whether they were breastfeeding or bottle feeding babies (up until the age where I find it uncomfortable). I don't notice that kind of thing. It's not an issue that bothers me either way. Sure, I have an opinion, but it isn't very strong.

 

[Magpie]

Ok, is it "discreet" or "discrete?" Driving myself crazy trying to figure out if I used the right one. Even dictionary. com didn't clear it up.

The way I always remember it, is that the two e's in "discreet" are whispering to each other, while the 'e's in "discrete" are separated from each other.

 

[low-key]

If its after 12 month and its a boy, you should start weening onto beer we got a nation of sissys

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I guess I feel like if it's okay to public breastfeed then it should be okay to print tastefully done pictures in a magazine about extended breastfeeding. Or if you support breastfeeding then you should support the right to have the pictures taken and printed with the mothers consent.

So no I don't think People Magazine is out of line.

I guess I don't see anything tasteful about a mother taking off her clothes and instructing her 4 year old child to do the same. And then telling him to come over and breastfeed for the camera.

I think that is borderline mentally damaging for a pre-schooler to strip down to his undies and suck on his mom's breast.

 

[Magpie]

All right, my thoughts on this...

1. I think there IS stigma against breastfeeding. And there IS stigma against bottle feeding. The difference between the two stigmas is that most bottle feeding mums are critiqued in private by people they know personally - family, friends, medical professionals. Most breastfeeding mums are critiqued in public by strangers, and often by men. In both cases, it's undeniably painful to experience. I was fortunate. When I breastfed my babies in public, almost two decades ago, I got nothing but supportive comments and smiles from people. I did NOT take from this that the fight for acceptance is over and people need to stop advocating for breastfeeding mothers. Instead, I just counted my lucky stars that I lived in a progressive, breast-feeding positive town.

2. Go ahead and feed your kiddos until they're four, like the children in the photos. I have nothing against extended nursing, having known more than one mum who did. Though, in every case that I was aware of, the mother was also nursing younger siblings - not sure if that makes it more "natural" or what. Anyway, their kids turned out fine. No different than mine, for all that I only nursed mine to about a year and a half. They are not "special snowflakes" with "smothers". They're just normal young adults, like all the other young adults you might meet (and about whose nursing history you will know absolutely nothing).

3. The photos DO give me pause. Not because I think the children will be shamed... We can't know that for sure. And not because I didn't appreciate seeing them. They're beautifully shot. And heck, I grew up with a naked picture of my pregnant mum hanging on the wall over our kitchen table, out for everyone to see. I used to point to it and say, "I'm in there!" So not all families are freaked out by nudity. But, all that said, I still wouldn't have allowed my children to be in them. Why? Well, I personally prioritize my children's privacy over my commitment to any social cause, no matter how noble. I was once on the staff of an advocacy organization, and a reporter contacted me to ask if she could profile me and my child in a national newspaper. I told her I was happy to answer any of her questions, but no - my child's face would not be the face of the movement. She found another child, and it was a lovely article, and I'm still quite content that I made the right decision for us. On the other hand, I'm glad that other mum stepped up when I wouldn't.

Storytime now:

I was nursing my daughter once, at a parent-child drop in. She was just over a year old. A mother I knew only vaguely said to me, "Oh, you're breastfeeding, that's wonderful! I breastfed and my children are SO much healthier because of it."

I looked down at my daughter and said, "She's had three ear infections in the last six months. In fact, she's on antibiotics, right now."

The mum said, "Well, you can always tell a breastfed child. Their hair is so much thicker and glossier."

I moved my arm so she could see the scant blond fluff on my child's head. "I wish someone had told her that."

"Her skin..."

"Eczema. I moisturize her from head to toe every night." Then I looked right at her and said, "She's also got cradle cap."

Now if this mum had been faster on her feet, she could have said something along the lines of, "Imagine if she hadn't been breastfed!" But she didn't, which is good because I probably would have pointed out that while breast milk is undeniably the gold standard, formula is a fantastic alternative and we're all very lucky that it's an option for mothers and babies who need it. And ultimately, when it comes to raising healthy, strong, children a few months of one or the other isn't going to be the make-or-break moment of their lives.

Over 18 years from birth to adulthood, there will be many much more important decisions to be made with regards to the child's welfare than bottle or breast. I wish we could all remember that, and just chill out!

 

[Planogirl]

I hate the pictures. They are shot nicely but are still tasteless IMO. Besides there are people out there who won't post their kids' pictures on their facebook because of privacy concerns. These mothers obviously couldn't care less about their kids' privacy.

 

[emer95]

The way I always remember it, is that the two e's in "discreet" are whispering to each other, while the 'e's in "discrete" are separated from each other.

I love tricks like that. Thank you!

 

[nugov2]

I don't see anything wrong with the first two, but the last two give off a weird vibe, especially the last one. The moms nipple is barely in his mouth and I doubt he is actually even feeding and that to me screams look at me, not look at how important breastfeeding can be for older kids. I can see the comfort in the first two kids breastfeeding vs a staged creepy photo in the last two. Neither one of those kids seem to be actually eating or finding comfort in what they are doing. I honestly don't know what is an appropriate age to stop breastfeeding as I never could due to medical reasons with my 3, so can't say I've walked in those shoes. I felt awful with my first one, but after the guilt subsided actually realized I was still bonding with my kids and all 3 are just as well adjusted, healthy and happy as any breastfeed baby. I don't like mommy shaming, but I don't like people who exploit kids for their own reasons and that seems to be the case in those last two photos. JMHO.

 

[alicat8]

WHO recommends 2 years "and beyond". If it makes you uncomfortable past 12 months, don't do it. The fact that so many people seem to take issue with 3 and 4 year olds breastfeeding, despite the fact that it's done all over the world, proves that it's not as "normalized" as so many of you insist it is.
People post embarrassing pictures of their kids on the internet every day. Maybe when these kids are older, extended breastfeeding won't seem so "embarrassing" any more...

 

[roseaster]

I disliked the photo. EDITED TO ADD: I just saw there were more pictures! I felt very, very uncomfortable with all except the first one.

I breastfed both my kids for a few months each. Once they got teeth and could eat baby food out of a jar or rice, I bowed out!

I have somewhat of a strange stance on breastfeeding. I believe every woman should at least attempt it. I don't understand why some don't even try? After all, that's what they are made for! (I'm talking healthy women who wouldn't have a very valid medical reason not to). I completely understand that some women have a difficult time with it (I'm one of those who had cracking, bleeding, mastitis, lack of milk, etc). I still continued on and didn't give up because I had an enormous amount of pressure from my own mother. I felt as though I was a failure every time I mentioned wanting to quit. She lived nearby and was always over. In hindsight, I wish she didn't meddle quite so much, although I know she had good intentions and was just trying to help.

Now, on the flip side..... I also don't like seeing kids being breastfed too long either. The nutritional value just isn't there at some point, and children need to be moving on to other foods and drink. I don't understand the need for mothers to be that attached. For me, that age cut-off would be somewhere around 9-10 months before it starts to make me feel uncomfortable (like looking at the photo in the OP).

BUT... my kids are all grown up now. I don't know if I'd feel or act any differently now if I had to do it all over again. I personally wouldn't judge anyone if I saw them out in public whether they were breastfeeding or bottle feeding babies (up until the age where I find it uncomfortable). I don't notice that kind of thing. It's not an issue that bothers me either way. Sure, I have an opinion, but it isn't very strong.

Because I didn't want to. No other reason, and I stand by my right to make that decision. It's my body and I get to choose how it's used.

 

[Hibiscus]

I disliked the photo. EDITED TO ADD: I just saw there were more pictures! I felt very, very uncomfortable with all except the first one.

I breastfed both my kids for a few months each. Once they got teeth and could eat baby food out of a jar or rice, I bowed out!

I have somewhat of a strange stance on breastfeeding. I believe every woman should at least attempt it. I don't understand why some don't even try? After all, that's what they are made for! (I'm talking healthy women who wouldn't have a very valid medical reason not to). I completely understand that some women have a difficult time with it (I'm one of those who had cracking, bleeding, mastitis, lack of milk, etc). I still continued on and didn't give up because I had an enormous amount of pressure from my own mother. I felt as though I was a failure every time I mentioned wanting to quit. She lived nearby and was always over. In hindsight, I wish she didn't meddle quite so much, although I know she had good intentions and was just trying to help.

Now, on the flip side..... I also don't like seeing kids being breastfed too long either. The nutritional value just isn't there at some point, and children need to be moving on to other foods and drink. I don't understand the need for mothers to be that attached. For me, that age cut-off would be somewhere around 9-10 months before it starts to make me feel uncomfortable (like looking at the photo in the OP).

BUT... my kids are all grown up now. I don't know if I'd feel or act any differently now if I had to do it all over again. I personally wouldn't judge anyone if I saw them out in public whether they were breastfeeding or bottle feeding babies (up until the age where I find it uncomfortable). I don't notice that kind of thing. It's not an issue that bothers me either way. Sure, I have an opinion, but it isn't very strong.

That's nice, but who the heck are you to have "beliefs" about what other women should do with their bodies?!

 

[Happyinwonerland]

WHO recommends 2 years "and beyond". If it makes you uncomfortable past 12 months, don't do it. The fact that so many people seem to take issue with 3 and 4 year olds breastfeeding, despite the fact that it's done all over the world, proves that it's not as "normalized" as so many of you insist it is.
People post embarrassing pictures of their kids on the internet every day. Maybe when these kids are older, extended breastfeeding won't seem so "embarrassing" any more...

All over the world, like in very poor countries where sometimes the option is breastfeed or don't eat, yes it makes sense then. In a rich, first world nation with access to loads of nutritional options, it doesn't make as much sense. Then it starts bordering on the "look at me" vibe. These women get something weird from their preschoolers still using their breasts. It's creepy.

 

[mjkacmom]

I only nursed one of my babies, for only 6 weeks. Maybe I live in a more tolerant area, but I'm shocked that strangers would comment negatively to women breastfeeding! That's just crazy.

What I don't understand about extended breastfeeding is why it's done. Bottle feeding moms are told to wean them off at a year, babies are supposed to give up pacifiers at that time. Bottle fed babies are supposed to get the majority of their nutrients from food, and to find other ways of comfort besides sucking something. I had 5 toddlers/preschoolers, and there was so much body contact between myself and the kids, hugging, snuggling.

So, why s nursing ok, but bottles not ok?

 

[ilovefh]

There is judgement about everything a mom does! You really can't win no matter what you do so developing a thick skin is important!

I don't care how anyone chooses to feed their children or how long. Do I think the pictures are a bit odd? Yes, but that has more to do with the fact that none of them are wearing clothes.

With DS I intended to breastfeed but I was open to formula if needed. I had a friend who was so stuck on breastfeeding that when she wasn't able to breastfeed she was devastated. I didn't want to feel that way. I had bottles and formula samples just in case. A day or two after being home DS was constantly screaming. My mom recommended giving him some formula to see if it would help. That was the beginning of the end for me breastfeeding. I know I gave up too easily.

With DD I fully intended to breastfeed and not give up again. She was born Wednesday via c-section and by the time we got home Friday night I was in agony. Between the pain from feeding (it literally felt like I was being stabbed the whole time she ate and yes we saw lactation consultants at the hospital but she had a perfect latch and all looked good so they cou don't figure out why it hurt me so badly), the pain of the c-section and the horrendous spinal headache I needed a break. Because I was so set on breastfeeding her we had nothing in the house for formula feeding. DH had to run to Walmart at midnight because I just couldn't take it. Plenty of my friends tried to "support" me by telling me how hard it was for them but that they kept going. All that did was make me feel worse.

In the end both of my kids were fed and healthy. They don't get sick any more often than my friend's kids who breastfeed.

If you breastfeed in public you will see me looking at you. It's not out of disgust or judgement but out of admiration. I admire the fact that in those first few weeks you were stronger than me. I'm jealous that you could handle it and I couldn't. But in the end my children are fed, happy and healthy so I try and let my guilt go!

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

I breastfed my son until 2.5 and my daughter until nearly 3. Breastfeeding at that age is nothing like it is at first. They do it maybe once or twice a day and usually around a nap or bedtime. They ate loads of other foods. Breastmilk doesn't magically become non nutritious when they turn one. That's just a silly myth peddled by an uptight country.

 

[leebee]

I breastfed my son until 2.5 and my daughter until nearly 3. Breastfeeding at that age is nothing like it is at first. They do it maybe once or twice a day and usually around a nap or bedtime. They ate loads of other foods. Breastmilk doesn't magically become non nutritious when they turn one. That's just a silly myth peddled by an uptight country.

If they are eating loads of other foods, then why are they still breastfeeding? Given that it happens around sleep time, it sounds like it's become more of a comfort thing than anything else. I think most people understand when breast feeding goes beyond being a source of nutrition and into the comfort zone, and direct their children towards sources of comfort OTHER than the mother's breasts.

I don't like the pictures. Once it's published on the internet, it's out there. It's disturbing to me to think that some pervert somewhere is getting his/her jollies from looking at seductively-staged photos of these kids and/or their moms. i KNOW the photos are not pornography, but they are going to be used that way, by some.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Because they didn't like cows milk or any other type of drink except water. And since I am educated enough to know breastmilk changes to suit a toddlers nutritional needs, I continued to offer it to them whether it was for "comfort" or not. There were some days where all they wanted to eat was crackers, for pete's sake. Perhaps that counts as nutrition in America today as long as it fortified with fake vitamins?

Save your pseudo-concern about child porn. That's just offensive.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

That's nice, but who the heck are you to have "beliefs" about what other women should do with their bodies?!

Just a mom with an opinion. I didn't say it was right or wrong, because I don't think there can be either.

This is, after all, a discussion board where people share opinions and thoughts on topics.

 

[Disneylover99]

The moms depicted seem to all advocate self weaning. What if the child never wants to give it up? Will they continue to breastfeed indefinitely?

I had a friend who breastfed her son until he was six. She never did it in public and it was once a day in the evening. She finally had enough and said no more. But she says, he didn't want to stop.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

I decided to stop when either the child was ready or I couldn't take it anymore. Turns out it coincided.