I could title this "weight loss progress", but since my goal is not "losing weight" - it's more like losing inches and transforming those inches into muscle - I could technically "lose inches" but "gain weight"...
I have always struggled with my weight... This is a very personal battle for me - and one that pains me to "make public"... I have gained and lost the same 50+ lbs several times over the years - starting well before I ever had the girls... I love food - what can I say?
I have been the most successful with Weight Watchers - but, quite honestly, it annoys the crap out of me that I have to transform and calculate every thing I eat into points. You cannot be completely successful on WW if you don't journal. I am usually very good at journaling, but after a few months - it starts to annoy me, and eventually leads to my demise.
So, this time, I joined Myfitnesspal.com... It's free (WW is not) and it has a very nice database, so every time I eat something - I don't have to recalculate it, it's usually there for me already. Well, after a few months of actively journaling on MFP - I gave that up too.
So, I don't journal anymore either.
Because I am trying to, overall, make my body more efficient... Make it stronger... Make it leaner... and hopefully lose inches and not necessarily "weight" - I've switched my focus and eating habits to be a little more like this:
My primary focus is protein... I really try to eat as much of it as I can - by focusing on protein, I find that my snacking and my meals fall into place. Do not, for a moment, think that I am follwing "Atkins" at all - I am not. My primary focus is protein - but I eat EVERYTHING... I would say, my diet is best described as "clean eating with a focus on protein"... I've cut out most processed foods... That does not mean that we don't have the occasional box of mac n' cheese... It just means, we try not to.
I loosely follow a program called "Eat More 2 Weigh Less" - you can Google it if you are interested. I basically follow this to maintain my calorie intake needs with the above mentioned focus.
I work out 5 days/week... 3 days of lifting heavy, 2 days of Walk Away the Pounds (1 mile) and an Ab floor routine. Weekends are mostly off.
I could tell you what my starting weight was, back in March... But it wouldn't do you any good - I haven't weighed myself since. I have NO idea what I weigh. I measure my progress by my increasing strength and my smaller size... Nothing else matters or is relevant to me. After all - I could be a size 4 and weigh 115lbs, or I could be a size 4 and weigh 150lbs - depending on my muscle mass... So, my weight is totally arbitrary.
What does this have to do with Disney, you ask? Well, for me - this journey really started in March of 2012... It was our first "girls trip" and I was miserable... I came home from that trip - looked at pictures of myself, and asked "what happened?" This is not me, this is not the me I see when I look in the mirror every day... So, I started working out - excessively and way more than was necessary... by the time August rolled around - I had completely burned out. I stopped working out all together and by the time October of 2012 came, I had nearly gained back all the inches I had lost between March and August... It took me until March of 2013 to get my head back into the game... and by then - I had gained back even more inches - honestly - my starting weight was higher than it had ever been... I was sick all of the time - I had to have gall bladder surgery - I was up all night every night with acid reflux... constant headaches... Something HAD to change! Again - it was my desire to take our August 2013 Disney trip, and not be "uncomfortable"... So, I started working out again... Cut out all soda... Eating clean... My progress was so sloooooow (it still is). I admit - I did ramp up my working out for the last 5 weeks before our trip... but rather than all of my goals stopping there - I was SURE to make goals that were attainable for after our trip... Sometimes I work so hard and the "event" is my final goal - I wanted to have something to work towards after we came home, so I could continue my focus. Which is where my heavy lifting comes into play... Once we came home, it was my desire to start making my body stronger... At the beginning of October - I started my current regime of heavy lifting... Let me tell you - my "heavy lifting" is not really heavy lifting at all... but maybe someday it will be?
I hope to update this post with progress pictures as I go along...
As I said above... Our March 2012 Disney trip was an eye opening experience for me... Specifically once our Photopass CD came... What greeted me - was high resolution photos of me at nearly my biggest... Shorts that didn't fit... Shirts that were too tight... Any muscle definition I may have had was no where to be found... Many tears shed over these photos...
March 2012
Look at those knees - I didn't have any!
August 2012... After I'd been working out since March... There is some improvement... but still a lot of work left to be done...
By
January 2013 - I was well on my way to being right back where I started the previous March - if not beyond that...
And - at the end of Feb 2013... avoiding the camera as much as possible... Starting out in a TIGHT size 18.
So, I started working out AGAIN... Story of my life - always starting over...
June 2013... By the time Suzi and Mo had came, I had gone down a bit in size... (I am on the left)
August 2013... And by the time the girls and I went on our trip in Aug, I had gone down in size a bit more... I was much more comfortable on this trip, than I was in March the previous year... I still was not thrilled with my slow progress... But there was progress, and I was thankful for that. I was approx a size 16 here.
September 2013... Continuing my journey after our trip was not an easy task, but some how I managed to keep my focus after returning home.
October 2013... Again - more visible changes... I had started my heavy lifting program - which was a serious mental challenge for me - to give up a lot of the cardio I had been doing...
A nice public bathroom picture for you all... LOL
And then my BFF photoshoot at the end of Oct... Wearing a TIGHT size 14 jrs.
You will probably be seeing a lot of these "public restroom progress photos" - because it seems to be the only place I am in front of a full sized mirror NOT in my pajamas. LOL
Nov 2013
December 2013
As you can see from the above photo - there hasn't been any progress in the last few months. Yesterday, I discovered an error in my calculations... Since the beginning of October, I have been eating +400 - +600 above my recommended intake for a loss... I am not sure what happened? Clearly it was a miscalculation on my part. I should have known, but I didn't. The program I've been following (somewhat) is called Eat More 2 Weigh Less (you can google if you are interested)... So, it would be very easy for someone to not end up with the right numbers if they weren't careful - like me. So... Now that I have my calculations correct - I am hoping to see some nicer progress in the future. As a bonus... I did learn a few things during this time - so all is not lost. First, I learned how much food I can eat to perfectly maintain. WHOOT! And secondly, I perfectly maintained through the holidays! BONUS! Onward and downward...
January 2014:
As you can see from above, at the end of December, I discovered some large miscalculations - which caused me to seek out and find more information. I am convinced that conventional dieting is not for me - I am convinced that everything I have been taught about "eating right" is wrong, and there must be a different way of doing this. I've read so many conflicting articles, and in the end - the old addage... "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten..." seems to fit just perfectly here. While following my "Eat more 2 weight less" program, I was starting to wonder if there wasn't more to that. Calories in/calories out just didn't seem like it was right for me... I knew I had to clean up my intake even further. Through out the year, I've progressed from eating everything, to really trying to eliminate processed foods... and now even further - the ultimate in processed food, I have eliminated ALL wheat/grains and all sugar from my diet. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be initially, as I was gravitating towards that naturally anyways. The only "sugar" I eat now is 1 Tbsp of Agave nectar in my coffee every morning. So, think about this "no wheat/grains" for a second... No bread (of any sort), no noodles, no cakes, no corn... Then, the no sugar portion... No desserts, no High Fructose Corn Syrup, No Stevia, No Truvia, NO (NO, NO, NO) Aspartame or Sucrolose! - nothing with sugar or chemical sugars in it at all. Why in the world would someone do this? Well, in the last month - I have gained soooo much... I sleep through the night on a consistant basis (remember those nights where I would wake from 2-4am consistantly - mostly GONE), by eliminating the wheat/sugar - I've completely turned my body from using insulin for fuel and now it is burning fat - which is a more sustaining and less high/low way to fuel your body. Crazy concept - huh? Now, I rarely get hungry and my whole world is much more even toned... I eat when I am hungry... Meals filled with MEAT (lots of it) and veggies/fruits... Eggs... I do still eat sweet potatoes... Rather than the conventional "eating until I am full" - I "eat until I am no longer hungry"... Novel concept. I no longer feel like I am constantly deprived and starving. I've found things that I absolutely LOVE which fit into this way of eating - and I am not sure I could ever go back to eating the way I previously did... I just love this too much! My nighly ice cream fix, has been replaced by fresh berries and home-made roasted almonds covered with heavy whipping cream - NUM! Breakfast... 2 Eggs over easy and some sort of meat (bacon... Left over meat from the night before) - keeps me satisfied all day and some days, I am not even hungry for lunch! Essentially - I've gone totally to "Primal eating" this last month. Primal eating is very similar to Paleo, but dairy is allowed. If you would like more info on this, Marksdailyapple.com is a wealth of info, and completely changed my life.
So, for the month of January - while eating Primal, I've lost 10.5 lbs! For a total of -33.2lbs since March 2013 I was a bit shocked at that number. I KNEW I had lost a lot of size, but I was not expecting to see a lb loss, as I am building muscle too - I really expected my weight to stay the same. It was nice to see a smaller number on the scale, but not something I expect to see in the future.
I also lost several inches in the month of January... Most places stayed the same, however my waist went down 1.5" this month, my abs (at belly button) went down 1.5", my hips went down 1.5" and my calves went down .25"... My average daily calorie intake was 1672. So, I am very happy with this.
I hope to have an updated photo posted in the next few days.
February 7 & 14, 2014
Finally - I have progress pictures for you all...
These are a little disappointing to me... It seems, no matter how many inches I lose, I still have the same shape. It makes it almost impossible for me to see a difference in size, when my over all shape stays the same... Even though my inches and size are going down. My profile picture is decent - but I think it's exagerated because the mirror is slightly slanted - so it makes me look smaller than I am. Sigh... Again - I'll just keep chuggin' along... There are so many other changes within me that are significant, just not visible. I need to focus on those, and be proud of those changes, as well.
End of Feb update: It's the last day of the month, so it's progress day... Here's my stats for the month of Feb... Lbs lost = 4.6 for a total loss of 37.8 lbs in 11 months. I lost .25" on my forearm, .25" on my neck, 1" on my stomach, & 1" on my thigh. Also, I was +.5" on my abs and +1" on my hips. My wrist and calf remained the same. My average daily calorie intake for the month was 1685. I did not see or feel the loss like I did in January... I was hoping I would, but I just didn't. I plan to try and cut out a little bit more of my snacking every day. I snack more out of habit than anything, not that I am hungry (most of the time) - so, if I can eliminate one of my snacks a few days out of the week, I think that will be helpful for me. It seems like I am VERY good at maintaining my weight, but not very good at losing it. So, if I can lose it and get it gone - that's the biggest part of the battle for me.
I have many things that are keeping me focused right now... I have a few items of smaller clothing that I am dying to get into for spring/summer... Many of these items are very close to fitting, so, I am really going to try hard in March to get closer to that goal. I am also looking forward to spring - sunshine - vitamin D... I really want to get outside and WALK... We have lots of trails nearby - I have to drive to them, but I'd like to carve some time out of my schedule once or twice we week to go explore them - if only to feel the sunshine on my face... I am looking more forward to the promise of spring this year than I have any other year. I feel like I have more of a connection with myself and the world around me than I ever have in the past, and I really want to "feel" it. If that makes any sense?
March 2014
Here I am, well into April - and I haven't updated. Mid-March, Josh and I took a road trip from MN to TN - which I faced many food challenges. I am happy to report - I stocked a cooler full of good for me foods, but I was able to eat and find things that fit what I eat now at most every restaurant we went to. I really enjoyed spending the one on one time with him - we haven't had that since our girls were born 16 & 15 years ago. While we were on our trip, we did a lot of hiking and sight seeing - and it was wonderful to be able to navigate some of that terrain, and not be worried if my body could handle it. We've been home for a few weeks now, and I resumed my lifting/eating routines with out any effort at all.
My stats for March were -4.8lbs for a total of -42.6 in exactly 1 year. I'll take it. I am still in a size jr. 13/14, however - I purchased a pair of capris that fit me for our trip (which I am wearing in the above photo), and now - 3 weeks later - I can take them on and off with out unbuttoning... So, I've definately gone down in size. This frustrates me a little bit, as I was hoping to wear them for a good portion of the summer. I am at a place in my wardrobe where I am digging out my smallest adult clothing I own from my bins, and it's just now starting to fit me. I've always gotten to this point and considered it "good enough" then quit. But this time, I have so many more goals I want to achieve - most of them size/self image related. But more importantly - I'd like to see my body composition change more... I'd like to see more muscle definition and see my shape be more healthy. I have a visual of myself, of where I want to be and how I want to feel, and I know that I am not there yet. When I look in the mirror - I am seeing a lot of great changes though (things I never thought I could change) - I am really starting to see my calves/thighs/rear change shape... There is more muscle definition there. And I have KNEES!!! If you remember my above picture - sitting on the AK float - I was so sad that I didn't have knees... Well, I do now!
I am nearing 40 y/o, and I just didn't think it was possible to get more healthy as I aged. Sure I've lost weight before - and I
thought I was healthy - I am realizing now, more than ever - just because I've lost weight before, doesn't mean I did it in a healthy way, nor did I gain health in the process. I just lost weight. There is so much more to it than that... Losing weight is NOT an automatic ticket to good health. I truly feel more healthy and more vibrant than I ever have in my life - even in my teens & 20's... There is something wonderful to be said about that!
April 2014: April was a great month for me... Sometime in March, I stopped journaling on MFP again... I seem to go in spurts with that... I hate doing it, but sometimes it's necessary. Because of what happened last time when I didn't journal, I am really nervous that I will accidentally eat too much... so I am very cautious about what I eat. It's is possible/likely that I am not eating as much as I should/could. But I feel satisfied and I don't feel like I am starving at any point in the day. I also notice that I am getting lazy about cooking... There have been times where I've walked into my kitchen to eat because I was hungry, but just shrugged it off and left the kitchen because I didn't feel like making anything. This is something that is totally new to me, and I am not sure what to make of it?
Anyways... My stats for April were down exactly 6lbs, for a grand total of 48.6lbs in 13 months (and down 25.9 lbs since I started eating Primally at the end of December... WOW!). I am not going to post all of my measurments, but my biggest losses were my abs with -1.5" this month and my hips with -.75 this month. I am still lifting 2-3 days per week, and I do my WATP/ab routine 2 days per week.
Josh and I on Easter Sunday:
May 2014
I feel like the month of May went very well for me... I have yet to weigh or measure and I am a few days into June... I still feel like I could eat more, but I am a little afraid to, since I am not journaling my intake and have no desire to. But overall, I feel like I am doing well, I am losing and I am getting smaller. I feel like I have good energy and I feel like my skin looks great. Suzi, Mo and I (Tess joined us this time) just finished up our yearly Epic Dismeet, and I am shocked at my progress from just one year! So, I thought I would post a comparison picture... Last year's Dismeet vs. this year's Dismeet...
June 2014 - my stats for May/June were OK... I lost a total of 8.2lbs over the course of the 2 months (remember, I didn't weigh or measure at the end of May) for a total loss of 56.8. I did not lose any inches anywhere, but looking at my progress photos, it is visible that I lost some body fat. And my clothes continue to get smaller. I am in a solid size 12, I continue to wear a lot of my 14s, but they are much too big on me, and most of them I can take on and off with out unbuttoning. It's a great feeling knowing that I am still making progress, especially considering that I hurt by back at the beginning of June - so I had to completely back off of my weght lifting for the remainder of them month - I am still trying to work back up to the weight I was at on my squats and I haven't resumed my dead lifts at all, and it's half way through July now. My eating has been OK - I still think I could be eating more - but I have no desire to journal at all, so I would rather play it safe. Eating at the lake for our annual long trip over the 4th of July was a bit hard, but I set myself up for success, and did the best I could in awkward situations - overall, I feel like I could have done so much worse - so I am happy with it. I am coming into the final weeks before our trip, and I am anxious to be down another size before we leave... I have 2 pairs of Hollister shorts in a size 9... I was able to wear one of them at the lake, and the other is still too tight - I would be THRILLED beyond belief to be able to wear those comfortably on our trip... I am pretty confident I will be able to wear the one pair - not too sure about the other? Which leads to the problem - if I don't get into that 2nd pair, I will have nothing to wear, because all of my others are too big. We'll see how it goes. As far as how I see myself these days, I am definitely noticing changes... Those big hips that continue to drive me crazy are finally slimming down... Now if the shape of my behind would change - that would be wonderful. LOL I am working hard at it and have been for months. I am also really starting to like the shape of my neck - I am noticing in most pictures, my double chin is gone and all of my tendons are visible... I am hoping my collar bones are next. I am also liking the changes in my arms... However - one is smaller and more defined than the other... I've been working hard to balance these out over the last several weeks - but it's odd and they are not balancing out yet. I'll just keep working it. Overall, I am happy with my progress, and I feel healthier - and younger than I have ever felt - even when I was young. LOL
July 2014 July was a really difficult month for me, with many out of the norm challenges. We started off the month with a 10 day trip to the lake, where I couldn't bring my weights... But after injuring my back in June - it was probably beneficial for me to be forced to put down my weights. So, I walked... Every morning I did 2.5 miles - it was wonderful. I love walking at the lake. Food was another challenge... I was as diligent as I could be considering the circumstances and I tried as hard as I could to eat with in what I nomally eat. Over all - when I came home, I was happy with how things went. Once home, I resumed my weight lifting, and for these last few weeks before our trip, I've added the 30 Day Shred... Normally - I really look down on losing "x" amount in a certain amount of time... But I have 2 pairs of shorts I need to wear for our trip, and they still look a little tight on me... So, I guess that means I need to be a little hard on myself for a little while... Being VERY careful not to burn out.
Final thoughts...
I keep telling myself - it's all about the progress... I want to be stronger and I want to be healthier, and that is my focus. Everything I eat and everything I do - I try to make it relate to that in some form. I continue to tell myself that this is an endless journey, there is no end date and there is no "final goal".
You can find Part II of my journey
here!
D~
Gotta go read now...
I am sorry you have had anything less than magical happen, but I have often wondered about posting dates myself. I am glad you are okay (otherwise you wouldn't be writing this, right?) I promise to be far behind all of the time, but excited you get to go back for such a fun occasion.
Ah well, I'm here now and in it for the long haul! Can't wait to read all about your plans and see all of the new customs you come up with! 
