This is the worst week of my life

[barbmouse]

Hugs and prayers to you and your kids! I hope you will have a great trip. Relax on the cruise and just enjoy every moment with your children. Give them lots of love and attention. You will have plenty of money for food at the parks especially if you use the tips you have gotten on this board.

You have gotten a lot of support and good advice on this thread! I'm glad you are getting excited and you are not going to let this guy ruin this trip for you and your family. Please be safe. I would love to hear all about your trip when you return! Wishing you lots of Disney Magic!!

 

[wendow]

I am so glad you are going and glad you are getting some of your excitement back. That will do wonders for your children. Have a magical time

 

[mumto3girls]

Oh my goodness I so badly want to know who that is now

That makes 2 of us!!!

 

[dsneprincess]

OP, have a great time with your kids. Ignore the naysayers and go make lemonade out of the lemons life just handed you! What a great example for your kids to see!

I'm glad you are getting help, removed from the situation a bit, and get to make fabulous memories for your kids! Go and have a blast! Hopefully, they will find the thug while you are gone!

God bless

 

[Lehuaann]

OP, I'm glad you all decided to go. Enjoy yourselves immensely, and don't forget to come back and share the details with us!

 

[mom2my3kids]

I have a theory... some of these posters who know exactly HOW YOU should live your life actually are probably the exact opposite. It's "easy" to come on a message board and pretend your life is perfect......

There is a DIS poster out there who shall rename nameless ... However, she also wanders around the park with big green lime Mickey's plastered to her bags with her screen name. I had the misfortune to dine with them once. SCREAMING and RUNNING through the restaurant, nearly tripping several waiters... that was the premeal entertainment. When dinner came they threw food at each other, when the kids were done they announce "we are done, let's go " (And the parents actually got the waiter and left with most of their meal still sitting there!) Kids were hitting their parents .. saw them later that night in a shop and they were "i want i want" and mom was piling up stuff and whipping out that credit card. So I came back and looked her up on the DIS "My kids can go to fine dining because they know how to behave" "we NEVER use credit cards" She is also one who often tells other's "how to live"

At that point I realized that at least some of the posters are "do as I say" and paint this picture to make themselves feel better. So when you post that things aren't going well it gives some folks a chance to "prove" their message board status by telling you how wrong you are.. But realize that there's a strong chance at least some of them are probably not really "lead by example" type!

GO, have fun and quit reading this thread. I think you have gotten what you can out of it!

 

[DVCJones]

That makes 2 of us!!!

That makes 3 of us!!!

 

[Mickey Fliers]

I, too, am going to be a naysayer. I know you have sunk a lot of money into this trip, but I think going with all of this stuff going on may be a mistake. Did you go to the hospital? Has your doctor cleared you for travel after such a dramatic beating? What happens if they arrest him while you are gone? Will you need to go to the police (really, I don't know what happens in these situations). Does he know your travel plans?

I don't know. I think I would be doing my very best to protect myself and saving the money I still have rather than worrying about the money I have already spent.

Best of luck.

 

[SplashMo]

Do go and have fun. Do keep the pressure on to get the person behind bars. Many towns have shelters where you could stay and be safe. Perhaps yours has one?

Best Wishes to you and your kids.

 

[Mom2Christina]

I can't postpone the trip two days out. Ill lose all of my money. He was just my boyfriend and a rather selfish one at that. He didn't help me out financially in any way. I'm going on this trip. I started packing and yes I'm getting a little of my excitement back. He took enough from me. I'm not going to let him take my kids vacation as well. I got a call from safe horizon and the woman I spoke to advised me to go on vacation. She was adamant that I go and we enjoy ourselves. She said we need this more than ever..go and have no regrets so that is what I'm doing .

I am glad to hear that you are getting your excitement back and are feeling well enough to travel. I really hope that you can escape from it all and create the memories you and your children deserve.

 

[Mom2Christina]

I, too, am going to be a naysayer. I know you have sunk a lot of money into this trip, but I think going with all of this stuff going on may be a mistake. Did you go to the hospital? Has your doctor cleared you for travel after such a dramatic beating? What happens if they arrest him while you are gone? Will you need to go to the police (really, I don't know what happens in these situations). Does he know your travel plans?

I don't know. I think I would be doing my very best to protect myself and saving the money I still have rather than worrying about the money I have already spent.

Best of luck.

I do agree with this, I had not thought to ask if you had been to see a doctor to make sure that there is nothing else wrong. Also, if you are pressing charges against him, will it be okay that you are traveling so close to the incident? Just wondering if there will be any issues or doubt about the injuries, therefore not helping your case (unless you had already had photographs of your injuries taken and filed with the police) I believe that is procedure when a report is made for domestic violence to begin with.

Iif you are in any sort of pain at all while you are there, I would possibly think about skipping any kind of bumping or fast type of ride. Adding injury to injury can end up being serious.

Again, good luck and take care of yourself.

 

[crisi]

I, too, am going to be a naysayer. I know you have sunk a lot of money into this trip, but I think going with all of this stuff going on may be a mistake. Did you go to the hospital? Has your doctor cleared you for travel after such a dramatic beating? What happens if they arrest him while you are gone? Will you need to go to the police (really, I don't know what happens in these situations). Does he know your travel plans?

I don't know. I think I would be doing my very best to protect myself and saving the money I still have rather than worrying about the money I have already spent.

Best of luck.

What will happen if he is arrested while she is out of town is the same thing that will happen if she is arrested when he is in town. He will be brought in, booked, and let out on bail all within 48 hours, and without her needing to do a damn thing. Because the assault was against someone she knew well, a positive identification from her at the time of arrest is not necessary - they can get a positive id off of him. It doesn't sound like he has a record, so while we are past the "chat in the driveway with the police" point in history (may we never return), it isn't like they'll hold him without bond - or that the bond won't be easy to raise for a first offender domestic assault case.

The best thing she can do - and I say this as a sexual abuse survivor and someone who pulled my sister out of an abusive relationship - to protect herself is to be out of town or staying with friends when he gets out on bail.

 

[nunzia]

Omg @ the meaness on this board by certain posters...I've just dealt with the worst thing I've ever gone through in my life and I'm being told well fine be depressed and broke on your vacation. I have no plans on being depressed. I'm trying to keep my mind off the fact that I was just cheated on,lied to and had the crap beat out of me. I saved for this trip . I planned it for my kids and I plan to enjoy it and escape. As far as emergencies I can control ..I'm packing asprin,dayquil,sleep aids and other medicine we may need on board. My kids are excited for this trip. I never buy lunchables at home but I bought them for my kids as a vacation treat ..they're excited just to have that..and they have their own giftcards for souvenirs . I think we'll make it just fine . Ill have a couple of kids meals and I booked the plaza as our one table service. It doesn't take much to make my kids happy. Ill be happy just being in a different enviroment so I'm not stuck at home being depressed and dwelling on something I can't change. I can't change what happened to me but I can still try to give my kids a nice vacation. I'm not going to deprive my kids on this vacation. If I have to eat a kids meal at every meal just to give them $20 to spend in the arcade than ill do that. I want them to be happy and for them to feel spoiled.

I think most of the posters here have been positive so focus on those and just :::skip::: right by the ones that aren't. I think you have a plan and are excited and will have a great time! Please come back after your trip and let us know how it all went and keep us posted on your new beginning.

 

[Granny square]

Th monster restaurant has a nice pizza. You coulda have it for lunch and take a bag for leftovers. My kids loved old pizza even as teens. Strange but true. As long as you drink water it is a reasonable price.

 

[LMN]

I think you should go and have a great time making magical memories with your kids. Due to the sunk costs, it only makes sense to go ahead and go on the trip. IMO, it would be wasteful to cancel the trip at this point. Please be sure to come back and let us know what a great time you had! Have a super trip!!

 

[Colleen27]

From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.

No kidding! Some of the posters here are the most rigid, black-and-white thinkers I've ever met - if you don't have a sizable emergency fund, fully funded retirement and college accounts, no debt (except mortgage... a 200K mortgage is fine, but a $200 credit card balance is terrible!), and iron-clad job security, you shouldn't be vacationing. But God forbid you sound too proud of having accomplished all of that!

There's a lot of good advice in between the extremes, but some of the extremes just leave me shaking my head at times.

Yes you do, and it isn't really a money saver at all anymore either. We crunched the numbers and it was easily cheaper to eat without it.

Besides, it is a terrible idea if you're going to be spending time on the "dark side" at Universal because you've paid for meals at WDW but will certainly also want some meals elsewhere. It is really only worth doing if it is free, or if you are only doing Disney and fit a pretty specific set of eating habits that would maximize the value of the plan without deliberate effort.

 

[crystaldawn]

I've read all the posts and wanted to chime in to say I hope you and your kids have a fabulous time, I'm glad you decided to go. I think that you will easily be able to afford food with the suggestions posted. We always take snacks, like everywhere we go and that helps tremendously.

I would also encourage you to stay strong and seek help. Stay far away from this man. Things will only get worse. GL and big hugs.

 

[eliza61]

I do agree with this, I had not thought to ask if you had been to see a doctor to make sure that there is nothing else wrong. Also, if you are pressing charges against him, will it be okay that you are traveling so close to the incident? Just wondering if there will be any issues or doubt about the injuries, therefore not helping your case (unless you had already had photographs of your injuries taken and filed with the police) I believe that is procedure when a report is made for domestic violence to begin with.

Iif you are in any sort of pain at all while you are there, I would possibly think about skipping any kind of bumping or fast type of ride. Adding injury to injury can end up being serious.

Again, good luck and take care of yourself.

Generally (and I stress generally, every place is different) is she presses charges, the first thing they will do is actually pick him up and arrest him. Once she presses charges she doesn't have to be in the city for them to arrest him. Now she may want to leave a phone number just in case there are some additional questions. Now you don't have to have injuries for a file a domestic abuse charge (I can't remember if op had any or not).

 

[sk8jdgca]

I hope you have a wonderful time-stay focused on your children and thye experieince you are having and try to keep all the negative things out of your head while you are there.

 

[GagesMama]

I hope you and your kids have a great time away and can just immerse yourselves in the magic for a few days.