Day 12: Tuesday May 28th
Madeira, Portugal
We did it! We made it across the Atlantic (well almost, the island is Africa-adjacent but whatever it was land on the eastern side of the Atlantic) and were sailing into Madeira this morning. We were up early today; no really. We watched the ship sailing in starting around 7:45. We came in around the west and southern coast and anchored about 9:00 in the capital city of Funchal. The night before, we put out our room service card. This was the first time wed tried room service breakfast and it worked so well. You get your little card and check off what you want and when you want it. They call you about 10 minutes before it gets to your room (BONUS back up wake-up call) and you can eat while you run around getting ready. The only downside is it is cold foods only (Danish, breads, cereals) and you need to specify how many you want of each. There was one choice assortment of muffins; you get one muffin. I guess its an assortment of what you might get, but you are not getting an assortment yourself.
So we get our room service and took it out on the veranda to eat and watch the ship come in. We were signed up for a Disney excursion- Wild West Madeira and it was scheduled to take the whole day. We met at 10:15 in Rockin Bar D with about 2,000 other people. Normally I feel like they do a really good job of checking you in and getting you off the ship. So today, when we kept sitting and sitting and sitting it felt weird. 30 minutes in we were told that there was a medical evacuation this morning and we had to wait for that before we could be cleared to leave. Apparently several other tours and those on their own who lined up earlier had been standing in the lobby for over an hour; at least we were sitting in chairs in the bar. After waiting an hour, they got the person off the ship, down a really steep gangway which might have been part of the problem, and we could start our tour. I dont think there is any way Disney could have handled that better honestly, even though it really stunk for everyone waiting.
We were quickly through the KTWW swipe and were on the bus at 11:20 to meet our tour guide (who I have completely forgotten but she was great I remember that). They announced that lunch would be pushed back an additional hour since we were late and that we wouldnt eat until 3:00. Carlos completely missed this part and kept asking at every stop when we were going to eat. We headed out of Funchal and into what? Not the suburbs? Maybe countryside? Lets go with that.
The island is really incredible. Its very steep and mountainous. The island has over 142 tunnels that cut right through the hills. The roads are incredibly twisty, narrow, and have switchbacks the whole way up and down over the hills. They offered us motion sickness medicine before we left the ship. I grabbed some since Im never one to turn down free drugs, but I never needed to use them. I could see why some people would though. The locals grow bananas on the island (and a few other things but mostly bananas) and the hills are covered with terraces to allowing growing in such a steep confined space. It was beautiful and reminded me off country landscapes in China. The banana trees would go right up to the front doors of the homes so they looked like they were in a sea of banana trees straight up and down the hills. Our friends were on another tour and were told a long story about how the bananas are sold to Chinese exporters and the Chinese want straight bananas but straight bananas dont taste as sweet so theres a whole conspiracy to trick the exporters and straighten the bananas with blue plastic bags instead of actually growing straight bananas. This sounds completely made up doesnt it? We heard none of the banana saga and just heard that the blue bags were used to speed up the growing process and act as a greenhouse agent. (Their guide sounded a little crazy in several different areas so Im going with made up, but if anyone has the scoop on the story, Id love to hear it).
We drove out, looking at the landscape, loving the Mediterranean style homes, but noticed that there werent many people out and about. Our first stop was Cabo Girao. This is the second highest sea cliff in the world (Taiwan has the #1 highest cliff). You can walk out on the cliff, and theyve built a clear floor so that you can walk out over the area and look down to the ocean. The floor is really thick plastic and has little holes so its really difficult to take pictures straight down but I guess safety first. Carlitos was not a fan at all. He stood right at the edge of the land part and said that if the floor started to break he would dive back onto land. I said well mom and dad were out on the cliff and he said I would have missed you. Um, okay, a little harsh for a five year old, but I guess I should be glad hes so independent, I guess? Lucky for us the floor held and we could look out at the water which was amazing and get a great view of the landscape.
Back to the bus and we headed to the village of Ribeira Brava. There was a little church in the town square that we peaked in and a playground in the plaza. We try to let Carlitos play on these when we have time. I think nothing is cuter than watching how kids from different places can play on a playground together. We have great memories of him playing in Paris with all the French kids. I sent Carlos across the street to a bakery to grab a few treats since we were having lunch so late (I clearly told him this so this was time 2 he heard about delayed lunch) while Carlitos played on the most dangerous playground ever. It still had a wooden board for a slide-think big splinters, there were rusty nails everywhere, several things pinched him somehow, and the swing seat broke. (So far he hasnt developed lock jaw so I think were okay.)
When Carlos came back with awesome and cheap pastry (we found the one place in Europe where the euro goes a long way), we wandered back along some small streets, glancing in shops until we got to the ocean. Crossing over, we walked along the seawall (or on the seawall in Carlitos case) for a few blocks. Time was running out so we walked back to the bus where Carlos again asked about lunch. I told him again (3rd time) that lunch was going to be late so he ran down and bought an ice cream to eat on the bus (directly underneath the picture of an ice cream with a big x through it-Carlitos pointed that out).
From there we traveled to the middle of the island, Encomeada Pass for a drink; basically moonshine. Its a white rum, honey, and fruit drink. Its 160 proof or something and the farmers drink it in the winter while working the terraces. Oh dear Lord, this drink is strong. I couldnt finish it (you all dont know me but for me not to finish a drink is really saying something). Carlos again tries to sit down on the lunch side of the bar we were at and I have to tell him (4th time) that we arent eating yet. He was really confused. It was really crowded inside and although it had started to rain, we took a little walk outside enjoying the forest. Honestly, my throat and tummy was so toasty from the drink that I didnt mind the rain but was disappointed we couldnt see the view from the Pass which is supposed to be amazing.
We went down the hill in the rain, driving through a beautiful forest. There was a lot of commentary about the island which I sadly dont recall but we were on our way to the Village of Porto Moriz. This was our longer stop and when we originally booked the excursion was to include a swim in the natural lava pools. Two nights before the excursion we had a letter in our room that said the pools were unavailable, then we had a call from PA on our phone saying the pools were unavailable and we could cancel if we wished, that morning when checking in at Rockin Bar D they told us again, and finally our tour operator told us the pools were unavailable. I was so tempted to get out and ask when wed be going to the lava pools. Now it is time for lunch. Were eating at the Sperm Whale (yep) and we had to cross a bridge and maybe those were the lava pools, and Carlos asked me where are we going. Are you kidding me man?
Walking in, there was a narrow hall with tile floors. With the rain everything was wet and slippery. I just said watch your step to Carlitos when my feet slid out from beneath me. Thank God the hall was narrow. My arms flailed out hitting the rough walls (with the camera) and I caught myself mid-split before actually hitting the ground. Carlos, right behind me, is rooted in place while I nice teenage boy grabbed my arm and helped me re-orient myself. (He also tried very hard to laugh, but seriously guy watching someone in their 30s do the splits and flail like that is funny, laugh on.) There was a time when I could easily do the splits; that time has sadly passed. I guess technically I can still do them, but should I? No. I limped into the dining room waiting for one of my legs to fall off.
We had a seat right next to the window, sitting over the ocean and could look out right into the waves. It was still raining and the waves were intense and the view was so wild and remote (almost like a Scottish moor if those had an ocean.) We ate the local fish which is only caught in two places in the World- Madeira and a spot in Japan. It comes from deep deep in the ocean, and Madeira happens to jut out right over a deep trench. They put nets down thousands of feet, catch the fish, then when they pull the nets up, the change in depth is too much for the fish and their lungs basically explode from the pressure (like a scuba diver with the bends). So I was eating exploded fish. It was good, I dont know, it tasted like normal fish, didnt taste tramatized or anything, and wasnt in a big pulpy mess.
After lunch we were free for about an hour to stroll around. It was still raining but we went down and walked through the drained lava pools. It was way too cold to swim but I was still a little sad that they were closed since we booked the tour based just on the pools. The different pools were really cool, they wound through the rocks and dropped off and had hidden pools, but drained they were kind of gross and dangerous. This was the day we yelled CARLITOS! GET OVER HERE and stop touching the green slime!, and Yuck, put that cigarette butt done. GROSS, and my personal favorite WHAT? No, you cant pet that dead bird. What is wrong with you?. Some of the tour went during the free time to a Life Science Museum, but we wanted to stroll around outside (in the rain) rather than shuffle through with the crowd. We walked up and down the shoreline watching the waves crash, looking out the old whale watching station, and enjoying the feel of land.
Then we had 10 minutes to get on the bus in front of the restaurant, and I thought might as well run in and use the restroom (being very careful not to slip again). This is probably way TMI but since its a reoccurring theme during the rest of our tours I feel the need to explain that I dont waste any time when using a public restroom. To me, this is not a time to stop and smell the roses (or used bathroom in this case). I get in there, take care of things, wash my hands, and were done- in and out in under 2 minutes usually. If Im taking Carlitos, I might add 60 seconds but Im usually shouting lets go, lets go, lets go the whole time. Its all very efficient. Carlos doesnt share my same sense of efficiency on the matter.
So now with about 8 minutes until the bus leaves, Im all set. I meet them in the sperm whale display under the restaurant (apparently this part of Madeira has a long whale hunting past-before it wasnt environmental correct). We look around for a few minutes and then I said well we have 5 minutes, we should make our way out to the bus and Carlos says Im going to the bathroom. (WHAT? NO, theres no time. I was talking to air though because hed already left). Now I have to figure out a way to stall a bus without revealing to strangers that my husband is in the bathroom (although I guess I have no calms telling the disboard). I took the approach that if I dawdled they wouldnt leave us so I strolled past the bus with Carlitos and the camera trying to act like I was absorbed in taking pictures. Some people were still standing outside the bus doing the same, so I walked about a block-still in sight of the bus- pausing for landscape shots, posing the kid, looking around obliviously. Now were 5 minutes late. Im going to have to bite the bullet, go to the bus, and throw myself in front of it to save my husband from being left behind. But wait, who is already on the bus? Its Carlos, asking me where were you? (So first point, we were right in sight of the bus so maybe stick your head out and look, and second I thought the deal was no man left behind. Why are you peacefully sitting on the bus, out of the rain, without us? Were you going to wait until it pulled away to say oh wait, stop, my family?) Lucky for us, 6 other people were still missing, buying some Madeira wine, so once again winos save us from looking like the slackers we are (I am a wino myself sometimes so no judgment intended-dont want another faux pas talking about another reader again hehehe) .
After everyone stowed their new wine (in the overhead by the way-no overhead doors just a big open area. Doesnt that seem an odd place to store breakable bottles that would maim someone when they inevitably fall during the twisty drive?), we drive back through the island on our way to the coast. The land was absolutely beautiful. There are waterfalls, windy roads, breathtaking ocean vistas, banana trees, forests in the clouds. I really want to come back here- its usually 70 degrees year round. Christmas trip anyone? It does seem like a very difficult place to live though. The cars dont last very long with the hills and the saltwater, the banana farmers have to do all the work by hand since machinery cant get onto the terraces and that includes carrying 50-60 lbs of bananas uphill to wait for a truck, unemployment is pretty high, not everyone in the more remote mountain areas had electricity until 1992, those people also didnt have roads until then and would climb up 2,000 steps to get in and out of their village (and it was a large village, not just one hermit living all Heidi in the Alps), and worst of all from Carlitos vantage point was that they usually dont have clothes dryers and line dry their clothes. Im not sure why but this would later be a deal breaker for Carlitos all over Europe.
We made a 30 minute stop somewhere on the south coast in a resort village. We tried to go into a century old church by following the steeple through the town. Some of the streets are actually stairways so we kept twisting around buildings and blind corners. Finally we found it and were rewarded with a locked door. We did find a little staircase there that led through a building construction zone and dumped us right in front of the bus in under a minute so our wandering was a little less directed than first thought. We crossed the street and went down to the rocky beach to dip our toes (or in Carlitos case his entire leg from hip down) into the eastern Atlantic. Then trudged back to the bus, and loaded up for our drive back to the capital.
We pulled up to the port at 7:00 (all aboard was 6:45) and stood in a pretty long line. After about 30 minutes we were on board, and we didnt waste a lot of time casting off about 8. We watched cast off from the veranda and then headed to dinner. No one was really in the mood- so tired from touring (I realize we were tired from sitting in a bus, but thats hard work too if done long enough). Tonight was Animators and the Taste of the World menu. Our friends were there, but their little guy was having none of the fancy dinner tonight and John took him off to the room leaving us with April and her 10 year old daughter. SCORE because tonight is pretzel sticks bread night and we needed to start dwindling numbers if we were going to get all the pretzel bread we could eat. (Disclaimer, the pretzel sticks bread werent that great, but it was different and we were psyched for it!)
I love dinner on excursion days when you can share what each other did and compare stories (in this case mostly about the straight banana conspiracy stories). Our friends had left their kids on the boat that day and done the 6 mile hike through the canyons. The hike ended up being 9.2 miles long (WOW) and through dark tunnels (no worries they were giving those little flashlights that you have to keep clicking on and off to get light). Someone in the group lost their passports in the tunnel and had to go back to find them in the complete darkness that is a mountain tunnel. Can you imagine the panic they must have been in?
First thing first though, I had to relay the Trio dessert disaster to April (she was SHOCKED), then Limbert came over and we had to give him a hard time. Poor Limbert, he didnt even realize what had happened and he felt so bad which was not our intention at all (come on Limbert, were friends here, no worries). He said we should have come into the kitchen and that never again would we be left without a trio (we all had a good laugh and let him know that we survived). In all the hilarity we forgot to tell him that John and little guy were gone for the night, so we kept sitting there with our menus, sitting, waiting, and finally after other tables were done with their first course, we said OH hes waiting for the rest of the group before he takes our order. So we had to flag him down and let him know they were awol tonight.
I got an appetizer with lobster, salmon and something (it was not good and its best I just forget about it), cheddar cheese soup (amazing-I was told its the same thing served during the food and wine festival), and some fish dish (at this point I didnt care because we had started rocking and nothing was feeling quite right). We noticed that glasses on the other tables were shaking like a T-Rex was coming. The family at the next table was passing around Dramamine like it was x at a rave (I really wanted to lean over and beg some but they were strangers and I didnt want to seem really crazy). April had ordered something for John to go and Limbert and Martin came over with covered plates while we were eating our mains. Then they said we dont want this to get cold, whats your cabin number and Martin went to hand deliver the food to their room. I dont think this is the norm at all. It probably helped that it was second seating, a less crowded service, and we were their favorites (Im guessing that last part). The next night John made us all laugh reenacting the knock at the stateroom door and opening to find Martin standing there with food.
Limbert brought us 3 trios tonight (one for us, one for the other family, and one to take back to John). In a true twist of irony though, the rocking had gotten to the point where I needed to get out of there quickly and April was exhausted so we couldnt even eat the Trio. I did move the food around on the plate a little to look like we ate some of it (seriously after that whole scene I felt I had to make an effort).
We went back to the room, I grabbed Dramamine, and then curled into a ball on the bed to watch Monsters Inc and the Little Mermaid with the guys. I normally enjoy a rocking boat; I think its exciting. We sailed through a tropical storm for 4 days once, and I couldnt have had more fun, but this was hitting me a little harder tonight- I think maybe it was the fish or maybe being on dry land and back, I dont know. Sneak peak- tomorrow it would be rougher.
