Cynthia,
I appreciate your comments over on my TR, but I'm going to respond here since we are all synced in and Fran has been known to monitor my TRs when she is feeling bad. Jenny I hope you don't mind me hijacking your TR but I don't have another place unless y'all join our Boo to you thread that has been dormant for months!
I am TOTALLY on board with all your suggestions, in fact I would even go wheat free since my only real addiction is pasta and I could give that up if needed. The problem is that Fran is not willing to sign on to any of the suggestions you have offered. I have substituted Turkey as bacon, ground meat and who knows what else and she has called me out on it, said she won't take part. She claims she has 100 lbs to lose and she just recently turned 60. I don't know how she plans to do it but evidently she thinks she will!
Oh Allison
I hope I don't overstep, lord knows I'm known for it. This sounds like fear talking on Fran's side. As if she is afraid that if you get healthy, you will leave. Or that you don't love her the way she is and you want her to change. I know that during the years I wasn't being as active it really really bothered Jeff. His voicing it had the opposite effect. It didn't motivate me, it really angered me and like a child I refused to do what was good for me simply because he thought I should. It made the situation worse.
All that aside, (and yes without changes losing 100 pounds won't happen on its own),
she doesn't have to take part for you to take part. That is a choice you make. She can't make you or not allow you to go to Curves, or for a walk, or make different food choices. You choose to let her make you feel bad and then do what she wants to keep peace. I get it, I truly truly do. I was married to a drug addict and alcoholic. I did things to survive that time that in retrospect I realize simply enabled him to keep doing what he was doing. I kept trying to "fix" him, or keep him happy so that he would want to change, but all I really did was neglected myself. And in the end he is/was the only one that could change himself. It isn't that much different here. Fran has to want this for herself, you can't make her want it or force her to do it.
You can only control you. At the end of the day that is who we each are left with and who is most important. I truly believe that we can't love someone else fully, without loving ourselves the most, first. As women that is counter-intuitive. We give and give and give. Sometimes until there is nothing left to give. It's not sustainable and if we don't "feed" ourselves, not only can the desire to give run out, resentment can come in and thrive creating a hideous spiral and circle. It truly wasn't until my ex was out of the house and in live in rehab when I stepped back and looked at myself and went who am I? Where did I go? How do I get myself back? It isn't the same and not implying that it is, only saying if there is a way to step back and look at this bigger picture, more outside looking in than inside looking out it can provide clarity.
Choosing to go down a path that is not supported by the one we love is brutal and often unthinkable. Choosing to give up our health for someone else shouldn't be a choice you have to make for a relationship. I know you don't want to hurt her or make her feel bad but instead it's hurting you, and making you feel bad.
I don't advocate sneaking. It never works, it always gets found out and it isn't healthy on either side. You should (and CAN) do what is right for you. You can ask for her support and she can choose to give it to you or not but letting go of the idea of her doing it with you and letting her make that choice on her own may be the first step to allow you to pursue this. Pursue it for you. If she ultimately decides to get on board, so much the better. taking it slow, both on the exercise and diet front will allow both of you to acclimate and hopefully lessen her fears.
I'm approaching 50 and know there are challenges. I have already cut down on most of the things you talk about, but it's the "germ killer" that gets me! I need to get more active! I've already cut down on the calories. Possibly to the point that my body thinks I am in famine and is storing calories rather than burning them.
I think either way I'm still doomed!
As we age sadly it doesn't seem that just exercise or just diet works. Both are required. Which pretty much sucks! I would really suggest trying myfitnesspal or something like it as an alternative. What I really like about is that you can enter your info, target weight, target rate of loss and it will tell you how many calories you need to be eating. If you work out, you can "eat bacK" whatever you worked out. But as important, it will tell you the composition of what you are eating. Target %'s fat/protein and carbs and then even down to the vitamin level. For me it was incredibly educational as to what I was really putting in my body. Low calorie or low fat is not always the best choice for a balanced diet. You can enter it online, on a smart phone and even scan bar codes and create recipes (I love that feature). I have so many standard dishes I make that I might think are healthy but entering them in really helped me identify what was, and what maybe wasn't, and think about small tweaks as needed. Or in some cases simply realize that x favorite item had a lot more calories than I'd been assuming and either I needed a smaller portion or less side dish!
I feel like a dope here but by "germ killer" what exactly do you mean? I tried to figure it out and all I came up with was wine but...
You aren't doomed! You have a LOT of people here who support you and you can do this. But you have to decide you aren't doomed and do something about it. That's the hardest part. We are all here for you
We'd just do resort time unless some windfall of money comes unexpectedly. 
I guess it's supply and demand. We have to be right there basically so they can change what they want. My friend is a manager at a local Hilton and can share her friends and family discount. I'll let you know if I have any luck. Are you seeing anything decent for even under $150?
there are a few that don't look quite as frightening under $150. Red Roof Inn near FLL is $85.99, it's pretty stark but for only one night I'm thinking I could be ok. I'm going to keep looking though. 
206 days!!! 
I'm hopeless! 
It's true. I totally get that.
And you can go to the Gurgling Suitcase. Love the OKW pool area.
I'll have to bank some points next year, so thought I might as well use some as a treat
205 days!!!
