Furious - need some clarity

[Bob NC]

Like every topic on the Dis people are going overboard on this.

The doc did leave the scene of an accident, but nobody is going to spend "hundreds of thousands" of dollars on a lawyer, and the police aren't going to go drag this doc out of the house and cuff him/her.

You really need to try to take your emotions out of this. This was a car accident. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge inconvenience for you, but stuff happens. To be honest the part that would have driven me insane is watching the video where the doc got out and inspected their OWN car and drove off.

My car was stolen once at a garage where I left it to get new tires. The garage's insurance company was paying for my rental, when I went to pick it up they tried to give me a little tiny subcompact. I had the rental company call the insurance company who was paying and tell them this car was unacceptable. They quickly moved me into a larger car.

If I were you I'd walk into that meeting and simply tell them that this event is not earth shattering but you do just want to get off your chest that you think you've been getting the short end of the stick in this whole deal.

I'd tell them you aren't happy with the way the doc and HR have treated you.

Then put a big smile on your face and say now how do we move forward to make me whole again.

 

[FigmentChick]

Good luck today!!!

 

[happygirl]

I fail to see why HR is involved, I can see them dealing with the Dr. in private but why you are involved I have no idea. If it was me all I would want is my car made whole. I hope the meeting goes well for you

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG....
I'll bet you have left for work, and this may not get to you.

This meeting does not sound appropriate. NOT appropriate.
You do not seem to work directly together at all.
There are no questions or dispute to be ironed out....

You do not need to speak to her, or even speak in her presence....
I would only speak with appropriate HR employees only. Without her in the office with you.
Period.

Like we have been advising, with good reason, have NO further personal interaction with this woman at all.
Either in the parking lot, or in their office, etc...

Something tells me that you will be a sitting duck in any such meeting with her present. You don't want to put yourself in that situation.

I wouldn't even want to have to speak with her if she is asked to apologize. (which is meaningless, anyhow) I would not be in any frame of mind to accept her apology.

Just state the bare-bones facts of the case.
She has caused property damage to your vehicle.
It is now being handled thru insurance.
And you really do not feel you have anything further to say to 'Dr.'.

Hope it all goes okay for you today!!!!!

 

[bankgirl05]

I too, agree that it is inappropriate for HR to be dragging this out this way and absolutely unacceptable that they expect the OP to spend her LUNCH BREAK (for which I am sure she is not paid) bending to their beck and call. BS!!! You want to speak to me? You're gonna pay me for my time.

I feel for you OP. Of course, you probably need your job, possibly even LIKE it. Tough situation to be in!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, that's right... I hadn't mentioned that.
If you are supposed to give up your lunch, that is also VERY inappropriate, and probably not quite legal.

Please find a co-worker, your husband, somebody who can support you and help you deal with this today.

At this point, I am agreeing with your husband.
It might be time to seek some legal counsel.

You have requested that you do not want any further contact, and their response is to have you give up your required break to meet with her, personally, in their office.
NOT OKAY.

 

[happygirl]

Lets make OP even more nervous then she already is. Lets hold off the negativity until we know what actually happens. I'm sure her lunch hour will be made up. Lets try some to be positive and not be so negative.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Again, your response... by email, documented....

"This is now being handle thru insurance...
No further discussion or action is necessary."

(lather, rinse, repeat....)

 

[Wishing on a star]

Happygirl, While I can appreciate your hopeful attitude.... (as your username implies!!!)
Many of us here know, by basic fact and life experience....
This meeting is not good, there can be nothing good come of it.
Like I said... even if, on the one in a gaZillion chance, they are asking this other woman to apologize. NOT NECESSARY.
And, the OP could be risking a lot with anything she says or does at the meeting.

 

[happygirl]

While I can appreciate your hopeful attitude....
Many of us here know, by basic fact and life experience....
This meeting is not good, there can be nothing good come of it.
Like I said... even if, on the one in a gaZillion chance, they are asking this other woman to apologize. NOT NECESSARY.
And, the OP could be risking a lot with anything she says or does at the meeting.

If she goes in there aspecting the worse that what she will get.

 

[LisaR]

What if you had been a patient at the hospital instead of an employee? Would HR call in the patient and the doctor to work it out?? I'm guessing the answer would be NO! I don't understand the need for the two parties to come together under the guide of HR who is very likely on the side of the doctor. I would not attend the meeting and I would tell HR to handle anything they need to handle based on the policy of the hospital. It really should be that simple.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Exactly...

OP, there is really no reason for you to have to continue to be personally involved with this, with this woman.

It has all been reported...
Insurance is handling it.

There is absolutely no possible appropriate need for you to deal with this woman personally.. at all.
It wasn't appropriate for her to stalk you in the parking lot.
It isn't appropriate for her to stalk you by calling you into the HR office.

Again:
"The damage to my vehicle is being handled by insurance.
No further discussion or action is necessary."

If they do have something that is necessary to speak with personally about, (signing a report, etc....) then please set up another time, for you and you alone.

Documented, black and white.... (not over the phone)

Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

Exactly...

OP, there is really no reason for you to have to continue to be personally involved with this, with this woman.

It has all been reported...
Insurance is handling it.

There is absolutely no possible appropriate need for you to deal with this woman personally.. at all.
It wasn't appropriate for her to stalk you in the parking lot.
It isn't appropriate for her to stalk you by calling you into the HR office.

Again:
"The damage to my vehicle is being handled by insurance.
No further discussion or action is necessary."

If they do have something that is necessary to speak with personally about, (signing a report, etc....) then please set up another time, for you and you alone.

Documented, black and white.... (not over the phone)

Lather, rinse, repeat.

100%

This is a legal issue. NOT a work issue.

You had a crime committed against you. An unreported hit and run The law and insurance companies are up to bat now. You should be left alone.

 

[Sanchez]

Exactly...

OP, there is really no reason for you to have to continue to be personally involved with this, with this woman.

It has all been reported...
Insurance is handling it.

There is absolutely no possible appropriate need for you to deal with this woman personally.. at all.
It wasn't appropriate for her to stalk you in the parking lot.
It isn't appropriate for her to stalk you by calling you into the HR office.

Again:
"The damage to my vehicle is being handled by insurance.
No further discussion or action is necessary."

If they do have something that is necessary to speak with personally about, (signing a report, etc....) then please set up another time, for you and you alone.

Documented, black and white.... (not over the phone)

Lather, rinse, repeat.

OP, you asked for clarity. Unfortunately, you came to the wrong place and instead are getting drama and conspiracy theories. Do yourself a favor and stop feeding the drama by posting these updates. People (grown up people) deal with these situations. Unfortunately, you now have an audience who, under the guise of protecting you, are likely only to raise your blood pressure.

It is unfortunate that some people have little else in their lives and want to inject drama into your situation. Go to the meeting and try to resolve the situation. If you want to file a complaint with the police then do so. If you want to hire a lawyer then do so (though if you are struggling to pay a deductible I cannot see how hiring a lawyer is in the cards.)

I am a lawyer and I get "urgent" calls every day (or at least urgent to the caller.) In most cases things are resolved as they should be and people get worried only to find that things can be worked out.

 

[Squirlz]

Show no mercy. She needs to be fired.

 

[PlutoPony]

Am going to guess that their issue / problem is the police report that was filed by the OP (and I think she was smart to file it). Much easier to sweep something like this under the rug if there's no legal record of it. Not much they can do LEGALLY to have the police report withdrawn themselves, will be interesting to see if they press the OP to withdraw it..... if they do, I'd put myself in the "see a lawyer" camp, it could get ugly.

Good luck OP!!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

She should be arrested for hit and run, and her insurance should cover repairs to the car and rental fees.

Whether she gets fired should not be your decision.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

It is unfortunate that some people have little else in their lives and want to inject drama into your situation.

How is it dramatic to suggest that the OP say:

"The damage to my vehicle is being handled by insurance.
No further discussion or action is necessary."

 

[FireDancer]

I'm not sure why there is so much drama here. Someone hit a car and went about their day, that person was found out and will face consequences. The doctor is in the wrong but the OP needs to just chill and let the insurance company take care of it and not get worked up.

As for HR getting involved, there is obviously now tension between two employees as a result of the doctor's actions. Since I'm assuming everyone involved is a rational adult HR probably just wants to sit them down and put the drama to rest. No need to get all worked up with the "what if" scenarios before the fact.

Like every topic on the Dis people are going overboard on this.

The doc did leave the scene of an accident, but nobody is going to spend "hundreds of thousands" of dollars on a lawyer, and the police aren't going to go drag this doc out of the house and cuff him/her.

You really need to try to take your emotions out of this. This was a car accident. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge inconvenience for you, but stuff happens. To be honest the part that would have driven me insane is watching the video where the doc got out and inspected their OWN car and drove off.

My car was stolen once at a garage where I left it to get new tires. The garage's insurance company was paying for my rental, when I went to pick it up they tried to give me a little tiny subcompact. I had the rental company call the insurance company who was paying and tell them this car was unacceptable. They quickly moved me into a larger car.

If I were you I'd walk into that meeting and simply tell them that this event is not earth shattering but you do just want to get off your chest that you think you've been getting the short end of the stick in this whole deal.

I'd tell them you aren't happy with the way the doc and HR have treated you.

Then put a big smile on your face and say now how do we move forward to make me whole again.

Oh my God, a rational response in which the sky isn't falling. A rarity here on the Dis for sure.

 

[denisenh]

Oh, if they should ask what you want to happen to resolve it at the facility, refer them to their policy. Ask them what does it say? Then ask them what would happen if the situation was reversed. Should be a very interesting meeting.

ETA: Just be careful. HR has the doc's back. They showed that in their actions. This is just a "lets make nice" meeting, and sweep it away with your blessings. I think that's the objective. HR is kind of on the hook, because they told you the policy and they aren't following it. So both the doctor and HR are squirming now. It's a mess.

I agree with above.

Say as little as possible, write everything down. TBH. I personally would not be comfortable with this, and would tell HR so. Why do they need you all there together? Seems very juvenile to me, like grade school. I understand you have a responsibility as an employee, but it doesn't require you to be face to face with someone who damaged your property . I agree with cabanafrau..say very little and excuse yourself. It is also Friday which is very convenient for them so that you cannot contact them over the weekend etc ..the whole thing has flags going off for me.

ETA: my HR department would no way have 2 parties in there together if they needed to speak to them...unless BOTH parties requested such meeting. This is all kinda odd to me

yes, don't speak. don't let anyone put words in your mouth or force you to decide anything. don't give the others reason to believe that you are a threat at all. be nice, don't agree or disagree with anything and decide nothing at the meeting. let them talk, you listen and then ask for time to think about it, what ever "it" is. don't mention the "L" word (lawyer)
and for crying out loud, don't worry! you have done NOTHING wrong.

If she goes in there aspecting the worse that what she will get.

i don't think that anyone is suggesting that she should go in and expect the worst... she should just go in and be prepared.