Furious - need some clarity

[jen0610]

I think you've done your part just by reporting it. If she harrasses you, play the pregnancy card on her & mention all the stress of having to have your vehicle repaired and finding transportation during the down time of the repair. She should worry more about being sued than being fired!!

First off, taking care of yourself and that baby is #1 on your list of things to do!! Take a deep breath and relax. Don't stress yourself or that baby out. You need to keep your blood pressure down.

Let the insurance company handle it. Let the HR department handle it. Let the police handle it. If the doctor approaches you again, let her know who she can speak with as you are pregnant and the stress resulting from her actions are now effecting your pregnancy. Let the HR director know that this woman is harrasing you and that if it continues or starts causing more issues with your pregnancy, that there will be bigger issues for them to deal with than a hit and run on their property.

 

[Wishing on a star]

So far, this woman has not threatened the OP.
One conversation in the parking lot will simply not be viewed as any credible threat or violation.

The OP has reported and documented everything. So, that is covered.

OP: Hopefully your emails/calls to the HR department have been appropriate, and you have them well documented...

A consultation with a lawyer might be helpful.
But, OP, remember, given the two things mentioned above...
If you were to take any action, such as having a lawyer contact the company, or this woman, right away. That WILL be viewed as aggressive and self serving.

Can you contact a friendly co-worker and have them support you in going to work, and walking back out, tomorrow.

You don't want to be viewed as skipping out on work.
You have to keep your own bases covered.

If there are those powers-that-be who would support this woman... You don't want to be seen as 'a problem' this early...

Yes, you might want to see a lawyer, just in case this woman poses problems for you. But, I think it is very premature to take any action, or for anyone else to know that you are seeking legal counsel.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

Is this a big company, with the HR department at a completely different location?

Just to be specific, what do you expect of the HR department?
What messages have you left with them.

Of course, they will not, and should not, disclose any information that is private to this other woman. They do not have to inform you of anything regarding that.

Have you asked or informed them about this woman's "don't get me fired, they said it is up to you", claims????

Again, they should acknowledge your situation, but have to disclose NOTHING about how they are handling this with her.

Unless things escalate, and she is continuing to create a hostile work envronment for you, if you go and say 'I want her fired', it will NOT look good on you.

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. I briefly considered running her over. I feel like she is trying to scare me. She was begging, but I also felt like she was using her position as authority, like I have to do what she said. She was not threatening me, just sort of trying to get her way. It is clear to me she usually gets her way.I can't describe it in typing. I wish I could. I want to know how she knew which car (the rental) was mine and how she knew to go wait for me. We have to register our cars and plates and I had to get a temp permit to park in the employee lot, so I am mostly certain that she got it from someone at work.

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: If you need a larger rental vehicle to be able to have appropriate and necessary transportation... The insurance company SHOULD provide that...

A compact car, in replacement of your SUV, is not meeting your needs, and 'making you whole'.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. ...... she knew to go wait for me.

Okay, you are right... That is NOT acceptable....
Can you, with your husband, go personally up to HR and make this request to have her stop all contact????

Again, this should all be witnessed, and documented, email printouts... etc...

If they didn't want to see you report this hit-and-run to police, I am sure they they would just love to see a Restraining Order.

 

[Deb in IA]

I haven't read all the responses, but here's my take:

1. I know it is hard, but try to keep the emotion, including "revenge fantasies" like getting her fired, out. Just stick to the facts.

2. Do not talk to her. If she follows you or tries to talk you out of anything, just keep saying to her, "Please do not talk to me. I have nothing to say to you. If you need to talk about this, please discuss this with my insurance agent."

3. Document everything. If possible, if there is any interaction between the two of you, try to get a third witness. Otherwise, it is your word against hers.

4. Her employment status is up to her supervisor and the administration, not you.

Don't let her, or HR, intimidate you. You mean business, but don't go all Rambo. She did the wrong thing, she needs to make amends.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. I briefly considered running her over. I feel like she is trying to scare me. She was begging, but I also felt like she was using her position as authority, like I have to do what she said. She was not threatening me, just sort of trying to get her way. It is clear to me she usually gets her way.I can't describe it in typing. I wish I could. I want to know how she knew which car (the rental) was mine and how she knew to go wait for me. We have to register our cars and plates and I had to get a temp permit to park in the employee lot, so I am mostly certain that she got it from someone at work.

Ok, I think you really should consider taking the day off tomorrow and trying to relax. And call that lawyer to get her/his advice.

 

[horseshowmom]

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. I briefly considered running her over. I feel like she is trying to scare me. She was begging, but I also felt like she was using her position as authority, like I have to do what she said. She was not threatening me, just sort of trying to get her way. It is clear to me she usually gets her way.I can't describe it in typing. I wish I could. I want to know how she knew which car (the rental) was mine and how she knew to go wait for me. We have to register our cars and plates and I had to get a temp permit to park in the employee lot, so I am mostly certain that she got it from someone at work.

That's exactly what I was wondering too. Somebody gave her information to enable her to find you. That is NOT okay. They are setting themselves up for some major problems.

And I agree with the other poster. I would request another rental vehicle.

 

[gwynne]

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. I briefly considered running her over. I feel like she is trying to scare me. She was begging, but I also felt like she was using her position as authority, like I have to do what she said. She was not threatening me, just sort of trying to get her way. It is clear to me she usually gets her way.I can't describe it in typing. I wish I could. I want to know how she knew which car (the rental) was mine and how she knew to go wait for me. We have to register our cars and plates and I had to get a temp permit to park in the employee lot, so I am mostly certain that she got it from someone at work.

I think you need to consult an attorney. HR may have made a very unprofessional move IF they told "Dr" her employment status was up to you. That's not even legal. If they didn't say it, "Dr" is making it up. "Dr" absolutely shouldn't have caused a hit and run, and also shouldn't be following you.
You need someone to advise you promptly. Give your attorney every bit of information you have. Write it out, read it, make sure it's accurate. Times, places, people.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

They should have last night's "conversation" on video also.

Consult with a lawyer but don't tell anyone yet that you did so.

Document the incident last night and advise HR that you want no further contact with her.

And keep going to work. You don't want them to have any reason to come back at you later, like for attendance.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would make sure to CYA, hire an attorney, etc. Good thing you called the police. What a nut case!

This doctor is LYING through her teeth. Be warned!!!!

I am sure HR did not say anything about it "being up to you", she is totally and completely full of it or freaking riding the crazy train.

And if HR did say something they are going to be in the hot seat as well. However I sincerely doubt it.

Good Luck and watch your back.

Agree about not calling in. It will be used against you.

 

[FINFAN]

I want HR to tell her she needs to stay away from me. I don't want to have to deal with her. I had a very hard time getting away from her she wouldn't let me leave the parking lot last night. I briefly considered running her over. I feel like she is trying to scare me. She was begging, but I also felt like she was using her position as authority, like I have to do what she said. She was not threatening me, just sort of trying to get her way. It is clear to me she usually gets her way.I can't describe it in typing. I wish I could. I want to know how she knew which car (the rental) was mine and how she knew to go wait for me. We have to register our cars and plates and I had to get a temp permit to park in the employee lot, so I am mostly certain that she got it from someone at work.

Jumping in...first off, sorry OP for this. We have been on the receiving end of similar situations (tho not while pg) and they ARE stressful and aggravating. Usually the offender gets a slap on the wrist while the victim gets the fallout. I would ask security or HR that you would like the security footage of her behavior in the parking lot, or ask your insurance company to request it. If this keeps up you certainly have a harassment complaint that you can file. With all the nutjobs and wackos out there, please have the 2 insurance agencies handle this and deal only with them and the police. Request a vehicle a.s.a.p. COMPARABLE to the one she is responsible for damaging and do not back down on that. Do you own a smart phone? Next time she approaches you pull it out and start recording her. GET A LAWYER AND SEVERAL OF HIS CARDS. hand her one if she dares to get that close to you. Go ahead and tell her you are recording her so she can't accuse you of any privacy issues. Time to shift into CYA mode for yourself and your baby. She is a grown woman who will survive whatever the financial outcome of this is. You are the victim, do not allow her to continue to victimize you and I would CERTAINLY call the police and tell them that is what is occurring and have them add it to the report.

 

[IUTBAM]

I'd be more focused on making sure she is prosecuted rather than fired.

And I'd definitely be calling a lawyer about a civil case against her.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would make sure to CYA, hire an attorney, etc. Good thing you called the police. What a nut case!

This doctor is LYING through her teeth. Be warned!!!!

I am sure HR did not say anything about it "being up to you", she is totally and completely full of it or freaking riding the crazy train.

And if HR did say something they are going to be in the hot seat as well. However I sincerely doubt it.

Good Luck and watch your back.

Agree about not calling in. It will be used against you.

Normally, I would be inclined to agree with you. But (and this is a big but) the actions of the HR department, requesting not to notify police, not following policy (was it immediate termination? I don't recall), and a few other things sound very fishy. It casts a shadow on their integrity. So I would leave it open as to the realm of possibility at this point.

I would not be quick to believe HR's version either. They are not acting ethically if they are not going by the rules. It's just a whole lot of crazy going on here.

 

[Mama Who]

Her employment status has nothing to do with you. File your police report, get your insurance company to deal with hers and let HR determine whether hit and run on their property is grounds for dismissal. If she refuses to leave you alone after you tell her, "Please leave me alone, you are making me uncomfortable" then you have grounds for a harassment complaint with HR.

I am sorry this happened. It sounds very stressful.

 

[VickiVM]

Could be that HR has to complete an internal investigation because the employee who wrecked your vehicle is a physician and the accident happened on what I'm assuming (I know, I know) to be private property.

There may be more at play going on here...the driving sounds very dangerous and erratic...

Report to them that the interaction with the dr is making you stressed and uncomfortable - let them handle that. And let your insurance company handle the accident. And you should just respond when appropriate to do so and take care of your own health.

 

[StephMK]

I'm sorry OP, that sounds like a huge mess and headache. HR is not handling this properly and the doc should have been told to leave you alone. There shouldn't be any question if they told you an employee would be fired but you're right, her position is probably affecting that outcome. Not fair but it happens a lot.

Stay calm, document, and touch base with HR to make sure they tell her to leave you alone. Let your insurance handle it with hers and push them for a comparable rental. Keep doing your job and being a model employee. Don't give them any reason to question your job.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

A few thoughts: first, you may well be responsible for your deductible. My car was hit by a drunk driver while parked overnight. My insurance company told me if I wanted to get my car back ASAP I should lay out the money and they would try to get it back from her insurance. After a few weeks of not getting a direct answer from my insurance company, they finally reimbursed me and then went after her insurance. It didn't hurt that she had already pleaded guilty so they knew they'd recoup the money.

I'm sure you won't be getting the most recent footage from security if HR has anything to say about it. They're all playing CYA now and security will follow suit. But I'm sure a lawyer might be able to subpoena the information.

I believe you should retain a lawyer because you don't want this to come back and bite you if they somehow fire you and change this to having to do with your pregnancy. And that's why I don't think staying home tomorrow is a good idea. Don't give them a reason to start keeping a list of marks against you. And I know how hard it is, but don't be emotional. This may be exactly the type of thing the company will keep a record of and try to use against you if they try to fire you. Now is not the time to give them any ammunition.

As for your rental vehicle, that's on you and your insurance. You could have any car/SUV/truck you'd like if you're willing to pay the difference between what your insurance covers (which is the coverage you chose) and what you want to rent. But I'm thinking you don't want to put out the money. No where in my insurance policy does it say anything about comparable coverage. I don't think any policy does. So if you're uncomfortable, pay the difference and then try to get it back from her insurance.

I know how hard it is, but don't be emotional. This may be exactly the type of thing the company will keep a record of and try to use against you if they try to fire you. Now is not the time to give them any ammunition.

Try to get a copy of any company policies that may cover this incident. If it's in writing they will have a hard time protecting the doctor, although the rules may be different for doctors versus employees. But your lawyer, should you choose to retain one, can figure that all out.

Good luck OP.

ETA: Make HR aware that the doctor followed you out and tell them to check the tapes. You can't expect them to keep her away from you/reprimand her if they're not aware of the situation.

 

[DebbieB]

I had a similiar situation last year. I came down to my new car in the parking garage, less than a month old, 300 miles on it, with the front bumper dinged and hanging on the ground on one side, side fender scraped. Luckily at the same time I got there, 2 guys from the garage office were there to put a note on it. There was a witness who got the plate number & vehicle description and turned it into the garage! They said the same thing, he backed up into me, got out looked at it and took off! Little did he know someone got his license plate #!

I called the police to report the incident with the license # and called my insurance company. My company was able to trace the license plate number, trace his insurance, get his address & phone number in no time flat the next day. They called his house and HIS MOTHER answered (love it!). She took the adjustor's number and he did call the adjustor when he got home from work. At least he admitted it! She asked him why he took off - he said "stupid I guess"! I had already had my car towed to my company's claim center body shop so they took care of it (after getting approval from his company) and subrogated against his company. I didn't have to pay the deductible since his company approved the claim. They got full payment back so it was not on my record.

I never heard back from the police so I don't know if they contacted him, maybe they did and that's why he was quick to admit it and cooperate. I guess I could have pursued pressing charges but I didn't see the point since he did cooperate and I got fully reimbursed. He did not work for my company, I didn't find out where he worked, it's a large public garage.

 

[PigletsPal2]

To those that have asked, I was worried about the deductible before we knew who did it. When it was just a hit & run, we were going to have to come up with that.

HR is not the one who told me it was up to me if she got fired, SHE told me that hr told HER that.

HR is not responding to any of my messages or calling me back. My husband wants to call a lawyer.

I really want to call in sick tomorrow. I just don't want to deal with all the stress.

Also the rental I got is very hard to get in and out of while this pregnant. I miss my suv.

PPs are right, you should have a vehicle comparable to the one damaged. I was in an accident several years ago and the insurance company arranged for me to have a little Ford Fiesta. Now, I'm a big girl, not even pregnant, and I couldn't get in and out of this car with any degree of comfort. I simply told them that this was unacceptable, that a Fiesta was nowhere near a replacement for a Volvo 850 (the largest car they made that model year) and that I needed a full-size sedan. So they gave me a Lincoln town car. It took two months to fix my Volvo (couldn't find matching paint for a car that old!); I know I couldn't have managed in a Fiesta for two months.

Call your insurance company and insist on something comparable to your SUV. They're just trying to get away with paying the least amount they can get away with on this claim.

And if your company has paid sick leave and you have leave available on the books, by all means take it. It's not up to them to decide whether or not the stress of this situation is making you "sick." Your doctor would probably give you some documentation if you need it, but I doubt you will.

Queen Colleen