Furious - need some clarity

[gwynne]

My husband is dealing with them, but they told us to file a police report and to get the doctors insurance information and to let them (our insurance) handle the claim and then they will go after her insurance.

I edited my post, trying to be clear after you posted. Your husband should make sure you have given the insurance company all the info, including the existence of a video, HR's stance, and the fact that you were followed.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I agree with this.

I highly doubt that HR would leave the decision to fire her up to you.

I can totally understand how angry you are, but I don't think her being fired is the answer. I think it just needs to be reported to the police and have them determine what course of action to take from a legal stand point.

Agree.

Inexcusable, yes.
Despicable yes.
But a civil case since it happened on private property and there were no injuries, so no grounds to arrest her. I'd leave any firing decision up to the company, but that certainly sounds like a firing offense.

She did a horrible thing, no doubt. I'd be furious. However, I could NOT live with myself if I was responsible for getting someone fired. I'd want that decision to come from HR. Not me. In the end i'd feel guilty...esp since I know she has kids to feed. Yes im a softy. I just couldnt do it. I'd leave it up to the company/HR.

 

[yoopermom]

I'm not a jump to "call a lawyer" type person normally, but between your workplace handling it somewhat unethically (asking you to do something against your moral judgement) and the doctor accosting you in person (especially with you being pregnant), I would consider going in for a consult, just to cover yourself. That way, if she tries to discuss it with you again, you can hand her your lawyer's card and say, "I would appreciate you discussing it with him/her, not me" and that would be the end of her stressing you out.

Whether or not she gets fired is her own fault, nothing to do with you.

Take the high road, let the insurance company/place of employment/doctor duke it out, and try to stay out of the fray as much as you can, especially for the baby's sake. A vehicle can be replaced, but a healthy baby is irreplaceable.



Terri

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I agree with this.


Agree.


She did a horrible thing, no doubt. I'd be furious. However, I could NOT live with myself if I was responsible for getting someone fired. I'd want that decision to come from HR. Not me. In the end i'd feel guilty...esp since I know she has kids to feed. Yes im a softy. I just couldnt do it. I'd leave it up to the company/HR.

I wouldn't say "I" got her fired for this. HR has not said anything to me about that by the way, she is the one that said they told her it was up to me. My point is SHE will have gotten herself fired for what SHE did. I am not responsible for her actions she is. If HR asks me my opinion is good riddance and show her the door. I will sleep just fine at night with no guilt at all.

 

[EMAW_KSU]

I agree with this.


Agree.


She did a horrible thing, no doubt. I'd be furious. However, I could NOT live with myself if I was responsible for getting someone fired. I'd want that decision to come from HR. Not me. In the end i'd feel guilty...esp since I know she has kids to feed. Yes im a softy. I just couldnt do it. I'd leave it up to the company/HR.

The OP has nothing to do with getting her fired. The Dr's actions would be the reason she was fired.

 

[firecracker725]

She has absolutely no right to confront you about this. She lost that right when she chose to drive away and not report the accident. Tell her that if she tries to talk to you again.

 

[jrmasm]

While I can understand you being upset about what happened (I would be too), you should have absolutely no say about whether she is fired or not.

Work with the police and insurance company and let HR do their jobs.

 

[sue1013]

OP you said you are trying to come up with the deductible, if you go through her insurance you don't have to pay the deductible.

 

[Tralliam]

Sorry you're dealing with this, the whole situation stinks.

I would make sure you contact the investigating officer and let them know she followed you out of work trying to coerce you. Just to make sure there is a record of this. She sounds like the kind of person that if things go south could get vindictive and having everything documented would be good.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I wouldn't say "I" got her fired for this. HR has not said anything to me about that by the way, she is the one that said they told her it was up to me. My point is SHE will have gotten herself fired for what SHE did. I am not responsible for her actions she is. If HR asks me my opinion is good riddance and show her the door. I will sleep just fine at night with no guilt at all.

 

[smitch425]

In many states leaving the scene of an accident warrants criminal penalties.

In my state (Ohio), it would be a misdemeanor of the first degree and a class five suspension of her driver's license.

 

[DopeyDame]

I would be totally pissed too but I think wanting her fired is hormones talking. She needs to pay for everything including deductible, rental car and repairs without question. At this point, I would just let the police and your insurance company handle it. Try to let some of the anger go for your own good.

 

[EMom]

I agree with this.


Agree.


She did a horrible thing, no doubt. I'd be furious. However, I could NOT live with myself if I was responsible for getting someone fired. I'd want that decision to come from HR. Not me. In the end i'd feel guilty...esp since I know she has kids to feed. Yes im a softy. I just couldnt do it. I'd leave it up to the company/HR.

I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over her getting fired. Did the dr. give a moment's thought to the two cars she damaged and to what it would cost the owners to repair them? Apparently not, as she just kept on going without even leaving a note. She is sorry she got CAUGHT. As the OP said, if she had been the one to hit the dr.'s car, she'd have been terminated.

The dr. needs to be banned from that parking lot, as she is a danger. I'd go to HR and tell them she is harassing you and that it needs to stop NOW since you am pregnant and the stress is not good for you. Have a written record that she is harassing you. Through HR, let her know that ALL contact will be via the insurance companies.

She sounds like a loon.

ETA: I agree with a previous poster. Let the police know that she is following you and trying to coerce you regarding what to do. Have a record of this everywhere.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I feel I should mention that when this happened on Monday, I was told by HR that if it was an employee then it would be punishable by "termination" and was a "code of conduct" violation. We assumed it was an employee since it happened in the employee parking lot. They did not mention to me that there were security cameras which I had not paid much attention to before. Now they are pretty obvious (doh) I 100% feel that if I did this to HER car I'd have been canned immediately, I think she is getting handled with kid gloves because of her title. When this happened on Monday I was not furious, I was crying. It was not until I saw the video and how callous she was that I got so angry.

I stopped reading here. Those are all valid points. Totally explains her fear of being fired. It appears HR had no intention of following their policy unless you press them. That must be what the woman was told and what sent her into a panic to plead to you. Shame on the HR person who put this on you! Their policy. They enforce it. Not you. It should not be differing rules.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If HR calls you, about what you want, direct them to their policy!

Off to finish reading the thread.

 

[corgi_monster]

I agree with this.


Agree.


She did a horrible thing, no doubt. I'd be furious. However, I could NOT live with myself if I was responsible for getting someone fired. I'd want that decision to come from HR. Not me. In the end i'd feel guilty...esp since I know she has kids to feed. Yes im a softy. I just couldnt do it. I'd leave it up to the company/HR.

I, too, would feel bad for any mother being fired.

However, if the doctor were fired, I don't think it would be the OP's fault.

The doctor hit the car and drove away. Her dishonesty (not leaving a note or confessing immediately) would be the causes for her termination.

If the doctor had taken one minute to leave a note, she wouldn't be in this position. It sounds like the doctor was in a rush (because she was speeding and "too busy") and made a conscious decision to drive away from the scene of an accident. Not only is that dishonest, it's bad decision making - not the traits I would want in a doctor!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Wow! So she did a hit and run and got caught. Now she is worried. She should have been more concerned about her reputation at the time of the incident and made a report. That shows poor character on her part as a whole. I would not even want to see her as a patient. You have every right to be upset that anyone would try to do that to you. Especially someone who is supposed to have high character in a community. She would not feel sorry for you if the tables were turned. Sorry this happened to you. File your report and claim and don't be clouded by sob stories. A hit and run is a crime. Best of luck!

I agree! It's disturbing.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

The thin line between justice and revenge . . .

You want her to go throw misery because she put you through misery. Understandable.

1. You have a right to be made whole. All of your expenses should be paid by your insurance, her insurance, or out of her pocket. Talk to your insurer, make sure they understand you expect them to collect your deductible from her insurance company.

2. She should not be talking directly to you if you feel uncomfortable. Tell her you will not discuss the matter with her. Follow up with HR if she continues to bother you.

3. Leaving the scene of an accident that caused property damage is, at minimum, a traffic violation for which an office can write a ticket. The penalties obviously become more severe if someone is injured or killed. Whether to issue the ticket is within the police officer's discretion. The officer may have done so already. He may choose not to issue a ticket at all. If they ask for your input, great. But you don't have control over this.

4. Whether she is fired is likewise not your decision, and HR should never have told you that she would be fired. They may choose to impose a lesser penalty. Give them your input, but remember you can't control the outcome.

Sent from my SCH-I800 using DISBoards

 

[CaliBear]

This is horrible. I really feel for you, OP, and you have every right to be angry. However, I do agree with those who say to let HR do what they're going to do. On that note, part of letting HR handle it is her not contacting you and you not having to deal with her. If she approaches you again, tell her that the time to discuss this passed when she didn't step forward and you will not be discussing this with her further. If she continues after that, report her for pestering you. Good luck.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over her getting fired. Did the dr. give a moment's thought to the two cars she damaged and to what it would cost the owners to repair them? Apparently not, as she just kept on going without even leaving a note. She is sorry she got CAUGHT. As the OP said, if she had been the one to hit the dr.'s car, she'd have been terminated.

The dr. needs to be banned from that parking lot, as she is a danger. I'd go to HR and tell them she is harassing you and that it needs to stop NOW since you am pregnant and the stress is not good for you. Have a written record that she is harassing you. Through HR, let her know that ALL contact will be via the insurance companies.

She sounds like a loon.

ETA: I agree with a previous poster. Let the police know that she is following you and trying to coerce you regarding what to do. Have a record of this everywhere.

I agree. OP would not be getting her fired, the doctor would be getting herself fired.

HR already told you it is grounds for termination, then changed their tune once they found out who did it. I would be more concerned about not letting this "injustice" happen than about a woman who had only regard for herself and her own belongings. I couldn't sleep at night knowing I was a part of that.

 

[Bounce_Tigger]

Your HR department told an employee that the future of her job was in your hands? Regardless of any other circumstances, I'd be suing THEM (HR) or at least filing a complaint for putting you at risk for coercion/threats/blackmail. That seems incredibly unethical (and unlikely) to me