Teens and Hair: is this my hill?

[jen0610]

Hair is not the battle I fight with either DS or DD.

DS17 was rocking the wild man outta control hair last year. I disliked it, a lot. He wanted nothing to do with cutting it. My only rule was, if he was out with me, he had to have it clean and combed, as in I had to see him comb it. There were times he would claimed to have combed it, but you could have fooled me to look at.

I think someone at school finally said something to him spring of last year. He said he wanted to get a hair cut, but he didn't know what he wanted. I took him to one of the newer mens salons that had opened in town and let a really cute 23 year old cut his hair and she gave him a good shave too. It was some of the best money I had spent in a long time.

 

[happygirl]

It wouldn't be battle, but I would strongly suggest him cut his hair

 

[ENSOCK]

I am so glad that our private school has rules in place. boys must have short natural colored hair. If it is below the eyebrows then they are sent home to get a haircut. Both of my boys like their short hair with a #2 on the sides. DS13 likes his a little longer on top but still short on the sides. DH is a policeman so high and tight is the only way to cut hair.

Now if I could just get them to shave everyday!

 

[NotUrsula]

Welcome to my house's battleground, LOL. DS15 grew his out last year, and it is now just a tad longer than mine; right below his shoulders.
His father HATES it and they argue over it constantly! The irony of that is that DH' hair was MUCH worse when he was the same age; his is too curly and wiry, and it looked like a top-squashed 'fro. DS at least has very silky hair, dark auburn with a slight wave. The funniest part is that DS is in choir, and at his school they wear traditional robes. Dressed for a concert he looks like Professor Snape, only with clean hair!

DS told me that he is planning to cut it just before swim season starts, but only if I didn't tell his Dad, LOL. It's the principle of the thing, apparently.

I keep telling DH that it isn't worth fighting over, and that the sooner he stops harping on it, the sooner DS will decide to cut it, but the battle rages on. <sigh>

PS: DH has long told the story that my MIL ragged him constantly about his hair at that age, and predicted that eventually he would cut it for a girl. She was right; he did. (However, it still looked pretty unfortunate until I got him to get rid of bangs 14 years later. DH' hair is still really thick and curly, but he just really cannot do bangs; he needs his hair off his face.)

 

[Zooshoveller]

A friend of mine told her kids she didn't care what styles they choose BUT for senior portraits mom gets to pick the style. All 3 kids agreed and didn't complain on picture day!

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG, I know how the OP feels...
Not that I want hair to be an issue.
But, with my son, there is the IMHO unattractive slicked down, hat hair, thing.

I swear, I wouldn't mind if he had it spiked like Billy Idol, Platinum blonde, and spray-painted pink...

It is just that his hairstyle, or lack there-of, is so unnattractive...
And he is a good looking kid. With his hair done, I am talking pretty darn attactive. SIGH.....

We just got back from a beach vacation...
DH and DS got their hair cut a little closer.
One day, DH and I kind of made DS comb his hair up and back a little...
He had on his new boardshorts, and shades... etc...
It was like "DAMNNN!!! Now that's what we're talking about... NOW that beautiful girl that you have been crushing on would wanna be kissing on that..." Hahahahaha!!!!

He is now 15, but guess the look-good-for-the-girl thing hasn't kicked in yet.

I know I can't make it a 'hill'.....
But, darn, I do understand how this kind of thing can really be for a parent!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

A friend of mine told her kids she didn't care what styles they choose BUT for senior portraits mom gets to pick the style. All 3 kids agreed and didn't complain on picture day!

DS just got his portraits done...
We chose the one that the vignette actually kind of cut off the very top of his head, and the slicked down hat-hair... and therefore really just showed that handsome face!

 

[Bearybear]

Of all the things to be worried about, hair shouldn't be "your hill". It changes and grows and can be cut, colored, styled, etc. My 9 year old son has long, thick wavy hair. For a while it drove my DH crazy, but it is an expression of him. As long as it is kept clean, don't bother about it. There are so many things that will have a lasting effect to worry about, hair is temporary.

As a teen, I had a multi-colored hair, partially shaved head, sticking straight up hair, etc. My mother told her friends "it won't make a difference in 10 years, so I won't bother about it" That has been my philosophy, as well. And I was glad to be allowed to express myself.

 

[penn19]

My ds has long hair. I hate it with a passion. Every so often I can get him to submit to a haircut. And it looks so much better. I wouldn't even mind it so much if he would actually DO something with it. Style it what have you. But no he washes it (I think) and with all that hair he really needs to be better about making sure the shampoo is washed out good. But I can't convince him of that. But after he washes it thats it. Nothing else. So it just hangs there in his eyes. But its his hair so I try and bite my tongue. Hopefully he will get interested in girls and he will start caring more about his appearance.

 

[Darcy03231]

As a mom to 2 boys (now 19 & 28) this is not the hill to die on. I insisted that it be clean but the rest was up to them. I didn't even comment when the oldest dyed his blue.

 

[Katy Belle]

Some girl probably told him she liked it.

Not my hill. I have one son that has always had short hair. Two others that have had long hair many times. Right now DS13 can barely see. Its hair.

I assume he knows how you feel about it. Short of tying him and down and shaving it, I'm not sure you will be able to convince him.

I would emphasize cleanliness and leave it alone.

 

[stm61]

been there, done that, 3 down and 1 to go. Luckily the last boy is only 7 so I have some time to recuperate from the last one. All my boys have gone through the long hair stage in high school. Two of them have straight hair, so they just looked like shaggy dogs. The middle one has very curly hair. He would wet it down, comb it straight, and jam a ball cap on his head to keep the hair down over his face. He looked totally ridiculous. What cured him was his grandmother's funeral. I refused to let him walk into the funeral parlor with a hat on, so all this hair was straight down over his face. My brother-in-law hadn't seen this latest style before. We walked in, he did a double take, and yelled "Hey ya'll, Cousin It done come to the funeral!". My son was 17 and totally embarrassed, everybody else thought it was hysterical, and he had a new hair style a few days later.

 

[toystory1130]

Most days my sons looks like the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. It's unique though and it defines him, no one else has his hair. The girls at school love it (so he says) maybe that's why your son wears his long, maybe the girls like it?

 

[tar heel]

It's not a hill you should die on in a bunch of a different ways. One, when you put your foot down on something with a teen, you want it to be something that really matters. Hairstyle is not in that category. Two, hair is totally superficial. You need to convey to him that your concern is what kind of person he is inside, not outside.

My college freshman will come home for the summer next week. He hasn't had his hair cut since he started college, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't shaved this semester. His hair is very, very curly and thick. But what a great first year of college he has had! His grades are good, his friends and activities are plentiful and he's just fun to be around!

His older brother has really, really good blond hair. It's been very long for five-six years. He actually is a bit tired of it, but feels like he can't cut it because it's so much a part of his artist/musician persona. He wears it tied back about 90% of the time, though. He'll probably cut it before his wedding next year. I don't really care -- it's his hair. He's by far my most conventional kid -- I know he's the one who would take care of me if I were old or sick.

My other son gets his hair cut regularly and shaves every work day, which works for him.

 

[jen0610]

It's not a hill you should die on in a bunch of a different ways. One, when you put your foot down on something with a teen, you want it to be something that really matters. Hairstyle is not in that category. Two, hair is totally superficial. You need to convey to him that your concern is what kind of person he is inside, not outside.

My college freshman will come home for the summer next week. He hasn't had his hair cut since he started college, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't shaved this semester. His hair is very, very curly and thick. But what a great first year of college he has had! His grades are good, his friends and activities are plentiful and he's just fun to be around!

His older brother has really, really good blond hair. It's been very long for five-six years. He actually is a bit tired of it, but feels like he can't cut it because it's so much a part of his artist/musician persona. He wears it tied back about 90% of the time, though. He'll probably cut it before his wedding next year. I don't really care -- it's his hair. He's by far my most conventional kid -- I know he's the one who would take care of me if I were old or sick.

My other son gets his hair cut regularly and shaves every work day, which works for him.

Oh lord!!! Before he just cuts his hair, please tell him to check with the bride first. If she has only known him with longer hair, cutting it just before the big day could be a melting point for a stressed bride. A friend of DH did that 20+ years ago, without talking to the bride beforehand. The tears that were shed over the fact that he didn't look like himself any more. We still - all the group of friends - get a chuckle over it, him not so much.

For me, I didn't get much say. DH graduated AIT 7 days before our wedding. He was shaved high and tight. When I had last seen him, it was a full head of hair. I knew it was coming though and delt with it without tears being shed.

 

[tar heel]

Oh lord!!! Before he just cuts his hair, please tell him to check with the bride first. If she has only known him with longer hair, cutting it just before the big day could be a melting point for a stressed bride. A friend of DH did that 20+ years ago, without talking to the bride beforehand. The tears that were shed over the fact that he didn't look like himself any more. We still - all the group of friends - get a chuckle over it, him not so much.

For me, I didn't get much say. DH graduated AIT 7 days before our wedding. He was shaved high and tight. When I had last seen him, it was a full head of hair. I knew it was coming though and delt with it without tears being shed.

I'm sure the bride will have a big say in the decision! She has been his girlfriend since eighth grade when he had short spiked hair and braces and wore preppy clothes. They will be 26 when they get married. I will say that he shaved and was very neatly groomed when he proposed ... in front of the Taj Mahal, no less!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Remember, even the Biebs cut his hair. Justin Bieber no longer has the Bieber haircut. Hairstyles go in cycles. Soon enough something new will cycle in for guys.

 

[scrapquitler]

No. Hair is NEVER the hill to die on. It's a phase he's going through, and for most teens hair is a big part of their identity. Just let it run its course.

I agree with this. It's just hair. Let it go.

For full disclosure: my 16yo DDs current hairstyle is a pixie cut, dyed bright purple. Last month it was bleached white, the month before that it was turquoise. She had it bleach blonde last month only because it was time for the dance recital, and I reminded her that I didn't think the studio director would appreciate turquoise hair for the show, so I insisted it had to be some 'semi natural' color. LOL. She did bleach it, and as soon as the recital was over, we colored it again.

I figure that if she doesn't have embarassing hair in her yearbook and school pictures, what fun will my grandchildren have taunting her?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Let him get his "emo" cut. In fact take him to a stylist who is good at it. The bright side is that it will be cut!

Hair is not something I care about, as long as it is CLEAN.

My 16yodd has a short hairstyle as much as she can get away with in HS. She said once she hits college she is getting it very very short.

 

[aprilgail2]

Of all the things to be worried about, hair shouldn't be "your hill". It changes and grows and can be cut, colored, styled, etc. My 9 year old son has long, thick wavy hair. For a while it drove my DH crazy, but it is an expression of him. As long as it is kept clean, don't bother about it. There are so many things that will have a lasting effect to worry about, hair is temporary.

As a teen, I had a multi-colored hair, partially shaved head, sticking straight up hair, etc. My mother told her friends "it won't make a difference in 10 years, so I won't bother about it" That has been my philosophy, as well. And I was glad to be allowed to express myself.

I agree- hair is that last thing I concern myself with. When my daughter was 9 she wanted her hair blue- so I took her and had the bottom 6 inches of her hair dyed blue- she tired of it after a few months and got the bottom 6 inches cut off. At 11 she had a big chunk in the back and underside neon red. She is 13 now and this summer it is going to be Orange, red and pink--- sounds weird but its an interesting look LOL. She will tire of it and go back to her normal color eventually.