OP Here. His preschool teacher and the director mentioned several times to me this year they are concerned with how often he falls. We've noticed it at home too but he has been like that since he was 2.
So I took him to an ENT to see if he had an inner ear problem. Nope. Then the ped sent us to the neurologist who concluded after asking him to do a series of motor skills tests that he has ADHD. She said he isn't paying attention to the world around him and doesn't see the toy he trips over or the door jam he runs into. He doesn't notice how close he is to the edge of the chair while he is fidgeting. Then boom, he falls.
We are seeing her again in 6 months. In the meantime she is sending him to an OT and we start next month. They are going to evaluate and work on his fine motor skills which the neurologist found to be behind for his age. I have thought about whether he could be gifted. He seems very smart for age but the Dr. said kids with ADHD are often very smart. They just can't focus.
I am curious about the screen time comment - how much TV/tablet/video game time do you allow per day? Not to pick on my neighbor (she is an awesome mom) but her child with ADHD plays video games a lot. My child also would play all afternoon if I let him but I don't. He does love the ipad and he plays games my kindergartener plays which are very educational and teach phonics, math, etc.
Other things he does that might indicate ADHD - he ignores his body (gets so consumed by what he is doing he doesn't go potty). He can't follow multiple directions.
What is the impulsivity component? My son will randomly shove his sister or sit on her. Then he looks surprised when she gets mad. It's like he isn't thinking when he does it, then he is either surprised at her for being mad or maybe surprised at himself for doing it. I don't know.
Thanks again!
Some of this sounds really familiar, but as Christian99 said there is a big overlap in some of the the traits kids exhibit between ADHD/ADD, giftedness, and the autism spectrum. It feels to me like the neurologist jumped to ADHD/ADD pretty fast, but then I haven't seen your child so they may be totally right. Yes, kids with ADD/ADHD are often smart and just lack focus, but gifted kids can also exhibit signs that look like ADD/ADHD, but are not. I just know that if my child didn't particularly care for the doctor or wasn't in the mood that day when she was little, she wouldn't have "performed" on demand for the tests. In pre-school and kindergarten, she was also known to tell her teacher that something was "too hard" or she couldn't do it, when the reality was it might be something she had been doing at home for months, but just didn't want to do it that day because she was bored with it (once the teachers caught on, she had to give up that game). Also, I wonder about diagnosing ADHD/ADD solely on some motor skills tests. The fact you say you wonder if he is gifted because he seems "very smart" for his age, makes me wonder as well. Again, I think a parent's instincts can be the best measure, as the PP said, she knew in her gut she was dealing with something else when the doctor was saying it was just ADHD or giftedness. When you say "very smart", what kinds of things are you talking about? Was he talking extremely early? Is he starting to read already? Does he prefer older kids and does he carry on conversations better with older kids and adults than kids his own age? Is he a total perfectionist? Do things come so easily to him, that if there is something he can't immediately do he gets frustrated and doesn't even want to try?
As far as the falling, have you ever had him to a pediatric opthamologist and had his eyes tested? DD fell a lot when she was little too. She would walk into door frames, chairs, trip over things. It turned out that in addition to the fact that she would be thinking about other things and not paying attention, that she was extremely far sighted in one of her eyes and just slightly far-sighted in the other, and basically because her vision was so different in each eye, she had NO depth perception. She got glasses and while she still isn't exactly graceful (she takes after me), the constant walking into or tripping over things stopped because she could see where she was going!
DD's fine motor skills have always been behind for her age. At school, she excels in everything except handwriting (and gym). She still can't tie a bow, and has issues with small buttons and can be slow with the computer mouse and keyboard. Our GT coordinator says that this is extremely common in gifted kids, and while it is definitely something to work on, they usually catch up at some point and it is nothing to be overly concerned about. Actually, we've been told that we should let her play computer games and on ipads etc. quite a bit for this because that can really help get those skills going. Our problem with that is that DD has never been that interested in computer games, so it is hard for us to get her to spend much time doing them. She plays them some, but she would much rather be reading a book, or creating an imaginary world with her dolls, or playing with someone. They do testing mostly by computer in our school, and their biggest worry with her right now, is that she will not perform to what they know she can do or is capable of, simply because she doesn't have the motor skills to manipulate the mouse and type on the keyboard fast enough when the questions are timed on the computer program.
When DD was 3 and 4, she would constantly wait until the last minute and be running to he bathroom. She didn't really have many accidents, but it was often really close. It isn't a sign of ADD/ADHD, it is a sign that they are so highly focused on what they are doing that they don't want to stop and take the time to go to the bathroom until they can't wait any longer. Does he never follow multiple directions, or is it selective? DD could follow multiple directions, but that didn't mean that she would follow them at that age. It just depended on her mood.
As far as the way he acts with his sister, does he just do that with her, or does he do that to other playmates as well? If he does it to other non-family kids, that can be a sign of an issue other than giftedness. Is he social and does he like to interact with other kids, or does he withdraw from them or not like it when they get close to him? If it is just family he lashes out at and he is social with other kids, again that may not mean anything. When you research, you will see that gifted kids can be very emotionally intense and sometimes that means they act out, especially with family. We've had it described as they may have a "mental age" years ahead of their actual age, but emotionally they are still the age they really are. Further, because they are gifted their emotions may be heightened and intense as they are taking more in and understanding more, but they are so young they don't know how to handle it, so again they act out. Also, they want control because of their mental age, and get very frustrated when they don't get it and again act out. Sibling fights are a normal part of childhood, and if you have an emotionally intense kid (whether through giftedness or otherwise), it can be really heightened.
Again, you are with him every day, so do your research and see what your gut tells you are his issues. OT certainly can't hurt, I wouldn't think. You may also want to get another opinion from someone else that isn't in the circle of providers you are in now- i.e. that don't rely on each other for referrals.
I might have a different opinion of "screen time" if my kid was spending hours playing Candy Crush saga or something like that, though. My son doesn't watch even one minute of TV. He has never had any interest in it. We feel that his "screen time" is the most valuable time he spends every day, so we don't limit it unless he is being punished (it's his currency, obviously.)
from my dh when I mentioned limiting ds's exposure to preservatives and screens.
