*Updated* Need Advice- Aunt Inviting Herself & Planning to Room with Us!

[maxiesmom]

So the aunt has no fault in this for inviting herself and increasing her domination of their vacation? Just because you are old doesn't mean you have the right to expect others to bow down to your wishes. If it does then we have a he k of a mess coming when we have millions of old baby boomers in this country.

OP is compromising. The aunt can stay 2 days. What compromise has the aunt made?

I'm not saying the Aunt is faultless. But I'm saying if she is getting on in years, and this is something she has looked forward to for a long time, then the OP should be the bigger person. Sometimes that is what you do for family members. Not play tit for tat. I did this, now you do that.

And it could very well be that the OP would regret her actions if she tells her Aunt she is not welcome.

I think you are right though. If so many people don't treasure or honor their older family members, it is going to be a sad time in this country. What happened to having respect for your elders? It is pretty sad that an Aunt wanting to include themselves in a family trip equals them expecting someone to bow down to them.

I really get the feeling that many of you don't love and treasure any family members outside of your own immediate family. If you aren't a husband or wife or child you don't count for much. And that is very sad.

 

[Mama Who]

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

Sometimes. But NOT doing so when it's going to be a problem doesn't make you some horrible person who doesn't love the imposer. The implication that the OP doesn't love her aunt if she doesn't let her have what she wants... that was awful. Loving someone does not automatically mean they get what they want at your expense every time- or you'd have to say the aunt doesn't love the OP. Which is also probably not true.

The OP should not be bullied or manipulated into changing her plans. Her feelings matter too.

 

[maxiesmom]

Sometimes. But NOT doing so when it's going to be a problem doesn't make you some horrible person who doesn't love the imposer. The implication that the OP doesn't love her aunt if she doesn't let her have what she wants... that was awful. Loving someone does not automatically mean they get what they want at your expense every time- or you'd have to say the aunt doesn't love the OP. Which is also probably not true.

The OP should not be bullied or manipulated into changing her plans. Her feelings matter too.

Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.

 

[SamSam]

Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.

maxiesmom - I agree with everything you have said. I'm not saying the OP is a bad person or heartless if she doesn't want her Aunt with her for the entire time, but she did say she is close to this Aunt and it could create wonderful memories for both her Aunt and her own immediate family to last for years to come.

 

[ThreeBeans]

I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?

I don't agree with this. The aunt can get a hotel. You don't get to make every member of an extended family miserable because you want something.

Disney vacations are EXPENSIVE. People do not have to cave to the demands of an unreasonable and selfish person to 'make nice'.

 

[ThreeBeans]

Sorry, but if you love someone and you hardly ever get to see them, then I think complaining about them for wanting to spend more time with you is pretty heartless.

I think people need to keep in mind that God willing, we will all be that older family member one day. And apparently some of us will know how it feels like to not be included, or to be so much of a bother to have around that wanting to spend time on vacation with loved ones will be an imposition to their lives.

I'm beyond glad my family isn't like that. I'm done.

When I'm an older family member, I'll pay for my own hotel room and won't expect a teen boy to sleep in a living room on a rollaway couch because I can't be bothered to consider other people's comfort.

Being old is not an excuse for being selfish.

I have a lot of elderly family members. We travel together. They would be horrified at this story. It's just plain rudeness.

 

[sweetpeakaris]

I don't think allowing a much loved Aunt to crash your vacation makes you a doormat. It makes you a loving person, who values their Aunt over a bit of irritation. Especially when you are well aware of how much that Aunt wants to visit WDW with you and your family, and if that Aunt is older.

That is the thing that some people don't get. Adjusting what you are doing to accommodate others does not automatically make you a doormat. It sometimes makes you a loving, unselfish person, who values others and their emotions above petty irritations.

OP--If you do tell your Aunt she is not welcome, and she never gets a chance to visit WDW with your family, will you feel bad about it? Will you think to yourself "You know, having her there really wouldn't have been a big deal. We should have made it work"? Will you end up feeling guilty?

Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.

 

[SamSam]

Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.

Ahh, that clarfies it a bit more. You are definitley not dealing with an 'elderly' aunt, so I understand more of where you're coming from. In this situation I would have no problem with saying 2 days (and only that) works. I wish you the best in resolving this situation with your Aunt.

 

[Mrs Green]

Nope, I will not regret my decision one bit or feel guilty. My Aunt is Retired, 60 yrs old and in perfect health, Lives in Florida and can visit Disney anytime she pleases. She doesn't drive by choice, but has a license and a newer car.

We are driving from Mi to Disney, my DH only gets one vacation a year, works long hours & we barely have family time. I will regret or feel guilty if I allowed her to join us for more than 2 days. As I stated before she does like to drink about once a week, we have no desire to be around her while she's under the influence of alcohol(she tried to give my DH a lap dance the last time we visited her and she gets crazy) So by limiting her stay, we are saving ourselves from possible misery.

As for the Park tickets, the plan was to purchase once at the Parks.

OP it sounds like you know what you need to do for your family! I hope you have a great trip!

 

[sweetpeakaris]

Updated original post

 

[ThreeBeans]

OY!

 

[Mama Who]

maxiesmom - I agree with everything you have said. I'm not saying the OP is a bad person or heartless if she doesn't want her Aunt with her for the entire time, but she did say she is close to this Aunt and it could create wonderful memories for both her Aunt and her own immediate family to last for years to come.

And as we see from the update...

Yeah. Those memories are gonna last.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

And as we see from the update...

Yeah. Those memories are gonna last.

:rotfl

Thx for the update OP!

 

[SamSam]

And as we see from the update...

Yeah. Those memories are gonna last.

Really too bad it went that way. You just never know! We've had fantastic time with extended family, so love having them come...but, if it ever went badly we would quit extending invitations.

 

[kittyninja]

OP--I am so sorry your two days didn't go well!! But on the bright side you were the bigger person and let her join you for the two days!! Hopefully the rest of your trip went/is going well!! Hopefully your kids (and you) don't have negative feelings towards Disney because of this! It is wonderful but even though they advertise with a Family Reunion--I would die if my extended family joined me!!

 

[Luvchefmic]

OP glad you updated so few take the time to do that so NOW you'll never have to do that again & at least you can say you tried What a pistol this woman sounds like