VENT: I want to strangle my co-worker!

[goofyintoronto]

hmmm I think the next time she calls in sick - I would let the boss know that the person who picks up your kids is out of town so you can't stay late & do her back up

Great idea! This is what I would do as well. I never stay overtime. My boss knows this. At 330pm im out the door. You should let your boss know you can't stay. Good luck.

 

[meggiebeth]

The OP is cross and we all say things when we are cross. Her Walmart comment wasn't meant to offend, and she is only venting. It would be different if she said this to the coworker or other colleagues.

If someone went around telling you their way was better constantly, and interfered with things that were not their business, then generally you'd get annoyed. Being arrogant is an unattractive quality and can turn people's backs up. It sounds like this person does not suggest things constructively but force her opinion on everything.

I can relate to the OP as I have a 'friend' who is arrogant, (although she is also self absorbed and entitled too), and believes everything should be done her way. She criticizes me constantly, and makes comments about things. She thinks she is being 'cool' and everyone wants to hear what she says. Sometimes, I am close to screaming at her to shut up because the way she says things offends me and others. But I realize that ignoring her is the best thing to do, and it is good to know how to interact with these kinds of people.

As for not washing hands, I think that is disgusting. I wouldn't appreciate the notes though. If I had concerns I would take them to the coworker rather than making public statements. Signs and notes often don't make someone change their habits. It is a shame if you have to remind someone of that age to follow basic hygiene rules. The notes may be making the person uncomfortable and there may be a reason why they do not wash their hands.

It is obvious that this coworker is abusing her sickness leave- I mean what is the likelihood that she is unwell only on Mondays?! This affects the OP so she should be rightfully annoyed. You may have other obligations after work and finding child care for the children can cost a lot of money. Yes, she should have to cover for her colleague when she is occasionally ill but not regularly on Mondays. If it continues I would go to the boss and say it is really difficult for you because you have children, a husband and a home to get back to as well as other obligations.

OP, hang in there! I can't blame you for being annoyed, but ignoring it is really the best option. If she overrides authority or acts above you, then just be firm and set a boundary.

Meg~ Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[Hrhpd]

The OP is cross and we all say things when we are cross. Her Walmart comment wasn't meant to offend, and she is only venting. It would be different if she said this to the coworker or other colleagues.

If someone went around telling you their way was better constantly, and interfered with things that were not their business, then generally you'd get annoyed. Being arrogant is an unattractive quality and can turn people's backs up. It sounds like this person does not suggest things constructively but force her opinion on everything.

I can relate to the OP as I have a 'friend' who is arrogant, (although she is also self absorbed and entitled too), and believes everything should be done her way. She criticizes me constantly, and makes comments about things. She thinks she is being 'cool' and everyone wants to hear what she says. Sometimes, I am close to screaming at her to shut up because the way she says things offends me and others. But I realize that ignoring her is the best thing to do, and it is good to know how to interact with these kinds of people.

As for not washing hands, I think that is disgusting. I wouldn't appreciate the notes though. If I had concerns I would take them to the coworker rather than making public statements. Signs and notes often don't make someone change their habits. It is a shame if you have to remind someone of that age to follow basic hygiene rules. The notes may be making the person uncomfortable and there may be a reason why they do not wash their hands.

It is obvious that this coworker is abusing her sickness leave- I mean what is the likelihood that she is unwell only on Mondays?! This affects the OP so she should be rightfully annoyed. You may have other obligations after work and finding child care for the children can cost a lot of money. Yes, she should have to cover for her colleague when she is occasionally ill but not regularly on Mondays. If it continues I would go to the boss and say it is really difficult for you because you have children, a husband and a home to get back to as well as other obligations.

OP, hang in there! I can't blame you for being annoyed, but ignoring it is really the best option. If she overrides authority or acts above you, then just be firm and set a boundary.

Meg~ Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

Unless you are the boss, it is not at all obvious she is abusing her sick leave. This woman could very well have permission to go to therapy, doctor's appts, meetings with her lawyers over the workman's comp claim, hearings on it, etc.

There may be very valid reasons why somebody takes some Mondays off here and there. The OP never said it was every Monday, just that she was out frequently and usually on a Monday. To me, especially with the Carpal tunnel and the workman's comp claim, I would immediately assume she had a standing Monday appt for something related to therapy or her workman's comp.

As long as the boss is approving her Monday's off, it is none of the OP's business. However, she can just leave when her shift is over.

 

[teacherforhi]

The OP is cross and we all say things when we are cross. Her Walmart comment wasn't meant to offend, and she is only venting. It would be different if she said this to the coworker or other colleagues.

It is obvious that this coworker is abusing her sickness leave- I mean what is the likelihood that she is unwell only on Mondays?! This affects the OP so she should be rightfully annoyed. You may have other obligations after work and finding child care for the children can cost a lot of money. Yes, she should have to cover for her colleague when she is occasionally ill but not regularly on Mondays. If it continues I would go to the boss and say it is really difficult for you because you have children, a husband and a home to get back to as well as other obligations.

Meg~ Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

Actually, the only reason I can think of to include the comment about Wal Mart is to offend. Where her co-worker worked in the past has absolutely no bearing on what is going on now. I used to be a cashier in a grocery store; does that make me less of a teacher now?

As far as being absent on Mondays, that is between the employee and her supervisor. If it causes a hardship for the OP, she would be well within her rights to speak to her supervisor about not being available due to childcare.

In 2010, there was a period of about six months when my husband was absent every other Friday. He has a chronic health condition that worsened and was receiving an infusion every other week. Friday was the day the clinic got him in. Our principal knew, and he was the only person told. It simply wasn't anyone else's business. I'm sure there were people who thought he was taking long weekends, but quite frankly, he doesn't answer to them.

 

[Janepod]

In 2010, there was a period of about six months when my husband was absent every other Friday. He has a chronic health condition that worsened and was receiving an infusion every other week. Friday was the day the clinic got him in. Our principal knew, and he was the only person told. It simply wasn't anyone else's business. I'm sure there were people who thought he was taking long weekends, but quite frankly, he doesn't answer to them.

My husband was in the same boat for years -- Remicade for Crohn's. His doctor only did infusions on Tuesdays and Fridays. His boss preferred that he be in the office on Tuesdays (staff meeting day) and gave him the okay to be out on Fridays. And that was no one's business except the two of them.

 

[Reddy]

Actually, the only reason I can think of to include the comment about Wal Mart is to offend. Where her co-worker worked in the past has absolutely no bearing on what is going on now. I used to be a cashier in a grocery store; does that make me less of a teacher now?

As far as being absent on Mondays, that is between the employee and her supervisor. If it causes a hardship for the OP, she would be well within her rights to speak to her supervisor about not being available due to childcare.

In 2010, there was a period of about six months when my husband was absent every other Friday. He has a chronic health condition that worsened and was receiving an infusion every other week. Friday was the day the clinic got him in. Our principal knew, and he was the only person told. It simply wasn't anyone else's business. I'm sure there were people who thought he was taking long weekends, but quite frankly, he doesn't answer to them.

if it is standing appt then the OP needs to know so s/he can have his/her kids covered instead of coming in & having to rush to find someone - it does effect the OP so the OP needs to know

if your DH job didn't effect anyone else then no they don't need to know - the OP doesn't need to know what the appt is just that the OP needs to cover on those days (not the why but the when)

 

[teacherforhi]

if it is standing appt then the OP needs to know so s/he can have his/her kids covered instead of coming in & having to rush to find someone - it does effect the OP so the OP needs to know

if your DH job didn't effect anyone else then no they don't need to know - the OP doesn't need to know what the appt is just that the OP needs to cover on those days (not the why but the when)

Yes, I agreed with you. If the OP can't stay late due to childcare, she needs to speak to her supervisor. But that has nothing to do with the co-worker. I would assume she has her children every day and would be unable to stay without notice regardless of the reason.

 

[Hrhpd]

Actually, the only reason I can think of to include the comment about Wal Mart is to offend. Where her co-worker worked in the past has absolutely no bearing on what is going on now. I used to be a cashier in a grocery store; does that make me less of a teacher now?

As far as being absent on Mondays, that is between the employee and her supervisor. If it causes a hardship for the OP, she would be well within her rights to speak to her supervisor about not being available due to childcare.

In 2010, there was a period of about six months when my husband was absent every other Friday. He has a chronic health condition that worsened and was receiving an infusion every other week. Friday was the day the clinic got him in. Our principal knew, and he was the only person told. It simply wasn't anyone else's business. I'm sure there were people who thought he was taking long weekends, but quite frankly, he doesn't answer to them.

My husband was in the same boat for years -- Remicade for Crohn's. His doctor only did infusions on Tuesdays and Fridays. His boss preferred that he be in the office on Tuesdays (staff meeting day) and gave him the okay to be out on Fridays. And that was no one's business except the two of them.

Exactly. It is None of the OP's business why the colleague is out.

If she has a problem with the work load, she needs to address the work load with the boss without bringing up the co-worker.

 

[Hrhpd]

if it is standing appt then the OP needs to know so s/he can have his/her kids covered instead of coming in & having to rush to find someone - it does effect the OP so the OP needs to know

if your DH job didn't effect anyone else then no they don't need to know - the OP doesn't need to know what the appt is just that the OP needs to cover on those days (not the why but the when)

No, actually she does not need to know what is going on. It is none of her business and she should not be privy to anybody else's private information.

As I said above, if the workload is too extensive for the OP, then she needs to bring up that point. She needs to tell her boss that she cannot stay late (on any workday) due to childcare issues and the workload may not get finished.

This can be done professionally without snarking on the colleague.

 

[JessB320]

Well OP I'm sorry your getting blasted here. You have the right to be ticked off about most of what you wrote . It's so funny how people like to tell others what should and should not bother them.

Yet do you really think if these same people were the ones being made to stay late because a coworker kept calling in sick that they would be just peachy keen and not bent out of shape about it? I'm guessing not.

 

[MissManda]

Well OP I'm sorry your getting blasted here. You have the right to be ticked off about most of what you wrote . It's so funny how people like to tell others what should and should not bother them.

Yet do you really think if these same people were the ones being made to stay late because a coworker kept calling in sick that they would be just peachy keen and not bent out of shape about it? I'm guessing not.

The OP did ask WWYD at the end of her post. So, it should not be a surprise that others are telling her what they would do. Really, I was expecting this thread to "blow up" more so than it has. People seem to be on pretty good behavior

People are right though that due to HIPPA rules, it's none of the OPs business why the coworker is out sick. If she is abusing the system then it's the supervisors job to take care of that. If the coworkers absence is causing a hardship for the OPmshe needs to discuss it in detail with her boss in a professional manner. This way something can be done to ease the burden.

 

[Reddy]

No, actually she does not need to know what is going on. It is none of her business and she should not be privy to anybody else's private information.

As I said above, if the workload is too extensive for the OP, then she needs to bring up that point. She needs to tell her boss that she cannot stay late (on any workday) due to childcare issues and the workload may not get finished.

This can be done professionally without snarking on the colleague.

but the OP can stay late if the OP can get someone else to pick up the kids - the OP needs the time to do so - not the reason for why the co-worker isn't at work but if it is set up in advance then OP should be told that the OP needs to set up the child care -- like I said the OP needs to know when - not why (why is none of OP business but the when is since it involes the OP)

if I know I need to work on Mondays late - I have 3 people I can call & set it up but I have to set it up at least a week in advance for one of them - other 2 can come quicker but needs to know so they make adjustments
it is call working together to get things done - right & on time

it is none of OP business if coworker is seeing a dr or lawyer or just wants a 3 day week-end but that OP needs to cover then

 

[teacherforhi]

Well OP I'm sorry your getting blasted here. You have the right to be ticked off about most of what you wrote . It's so funny how people like to tell others what should and should not bother them.

Yet do you really think if these same people were the ones being made to stay late because a coworker kept calling in sick that they would be just peachy keen and not bent out of shape about it? I'm guessing not.

She can feel how she feels. I can't change that. What she can do is discuss with her supervisor how staying late affects her. That can be addressed without mentioning the co-worker.

 

[JessB320]

Where does the OP say anything about wanting to know why the co-worker is gone? All I read was she was annoyed that the co-worker kept calling in sick, making her have to work late and scramble to find child care.

 

[teacherforhi]

Where does the OP say anything about wanting to know why the co-worker is gone? All I read was she was annoyed that the co-worker kept calling in sick, making her have to work late and scramble to find child care.

It's her assumption that the co-worker is just staying out for no reason. People are pointing out that she should focus on herself; she's unable to stay late without notice. What anyone else is doing shouldn't enter the discussion.

 

[Hrhpd]

but the OP can stay late if the OP can get someone else to pick up the kids - the OP needs the time to do so - not the reason for why the co-worker isn't at work but if it is set up in advance then OP should be told that the OP needs to set up the child care -- like I said the OP needs to know when - not why (why is none of OP business but the when is since it involes the OP)

if I know I need to work on Mondays late - I have 3 people I can call & set it up but I have to set it up at least a week in advance for one of them - other 2 can come quicker but needs to know so they make adjustments
it is call working together to get things done - right & on time

it is none of OP business if coworker is seeing a dr or lawyer or just wants a 3 day week-end but that OP needs to cover then

Then all she needs to do is inform her boss that if she is expected to stay late on any night, she needs a week's notice to arrange child care.

That is all that is needed. It does not nor should it involve the colleague. This should be her standard for anybody that calls in sick, not just this colleague she so dislikes.

Then her boss can take it from there and decide whether the work indeed needs to be done that evening and warrants paying somebody for extra hours or if it can wait till morning.

 

[PizzieDuster]

I'd put a big bulk of toilet paper under her desk with a note "You stink. Hope this helps."

Nah, I'd ignore it. You may not be the only one getting tired of it. I'd just let it be. Maybe her time there is

 

[ccgirl]

My question to the OP is how often is she calling in sick? I only get 5 sick days a year. I know other companies are different though.

 

[Lisaren]

The only thing you can change or control when in a relationship (yes co-workers are in a relationship) is your reaction to the other persons behavior. You will have to adjust your mindset and determine if you wish to tell the boss you can not stay late when anyone calls in sick (and risk angering the boss because you won't continue to do what you have always done) or if you wish to ignore the other's behavior and continue to do your job to the best of your ability without letting the boss you will no longer be able to stay late.
I have worked with many difficult people over the years. My normal reaction is to ignore the person and only deal with them on a professional level while reminding myself this is my job and I must behave professionally at all times. The notes would not bother me at all in normal circumstances, but if they were put out by someone I had a personality conflict with, I can see it being more irritating.
Do your best to not let this person control you by allowing yourself to get upset - you own your emotions - no one can make you mad - you allow yourself to get mad or irritated. Hard to learn, but after much practice it really does work - even with the kids most times.

 

[dadddio]

I was the one who put up an "instruction" letter in the bathroom that we shared with another office across the hall (different employer) some years back. Seems one fellow didn't feel the need to flush - and in the stalls, not the urinal . IIRC, the note went something like this:

Step 1: Poop
Step 2: Wipe
Step 3: Pull up pants
Step 4: Flush
Step 5: Check bowl
Step 6: If contents remain in bowl, go back to step 4

Someone later wrote in "Step 7: Wash hands!"

I bet that the note didn't cause the offender to change in any way. I have a theory that people who ignore basic things like picking up the seat to pee or flushing a toilet are not going to be swayed by a posted note.