Humiliated at the Reno Airport

[Janepod]

Why not just say, "thanks for your concern. Everything is fine."?

You can't break down like that in front of your kids, especially over something that is insignificant in the grand scheme of things (no one was hurt, no one got in trouble, no lasting repercussions five minutes later.) You have to set a good example for your children.

 

[Mandychelle79]

No, you did not do anything wrong, except not stand up for yourself.

I sure hope the agent doesnt think all parents will react like you did because at some point in time she will run into someone with anger management issues who does not appreciate being chastised in front of her children/ about her children.

 

[phorsenuf]

No, you did not do anything wrong, except not stand up for yourself.

I sure hope the agent doesnt think all parents will react like you did because at some point in time she will run into someone with anger management issues who does not appreciate being chastised in front of her children/ about her children.

I think I would like to hear the gate agents side of things. Is it possible the kids were acting up? Rough-housing, wandering around? Maybe she was concerned because the kids were doing something she felt was unsafe.

 

[Disneychix]

I'm thinking the crying had more to do with the stress of the situation-having to go inside with 4 kids and the luggage and the poop.

Maybe next time your DH can take some of the kids with him and not leave you with EVERYTHING in the airport.

 

[jodifla]

Southwest Agent was out of line. I'd be calling the main office.

And posters suggested CPS be called? On what planet???

No law or procedure was broken here. An 11 year old is in 5th grade, for heaven's sake.

 

[sam_gordon]

Maybe next time your DH can take some of the kids with him and not leave you with EVERYTHING in the airport.

I don't see this as unusual at all. Drop off the luggage, the wife, and the kids, and DH takes the car to parking.

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

Based on the OPs super-sensitivity (stood there and cried, sat there humiliated and shaking), I'm not so sure the gate agent was as loud and irate as the OP made it sound. And I think the worst thing the girls witnessed was their mother not being able to stand up for herself, not that she got reprimanded by a gate agent. They learned that when something like that happens, the reaction to have is to cry and be humiliated instead of sticking up for yourself.

That's what I thought, too.

 

[luvmy3]

Southwest Agent was out of line. I'd be calling the main office.

And posters suggested CPS be called? On what planet???

No law or procedure was broken here. An 11 year old is in 5th grade, for heaven's sake.

11 years old is 7th grade here. I couldn't imagine someone wanting to call CPS because a 7th grader was left unattended for 10 minutes

 

[Hrhpd]

I would have wanted to change an oozing poopy mess right away as well, and would have trusted kids those ages to wait together until dad arrived or I finished and returned. The airport sounds like it was quiet and obviously there is security there. The security guard could have kept an eye on them if she was concerned, it doesn't sound like interrogating them was necessary. I'm sorry it was so upsetting for you, hopefully your husband de-escalated the situation when he arrived.

This is the entitlement attitude that the security guard probably encounters all the time and what probably prompted some of the guard's actions.

It is NOT the security guards job to play babysitter. They are in charge of keeping the airport secure, not watching little children while their parents are in the bathroom. Especially since a PP already said that parents are known to just leave children in the airport to go gambling.

And this was a gate agent, not a security guard. Definitely not a babysitter.

 

[Riles_and_Gabe]

My daughter is 14. No way would I leave her anywhere at airport alone with luggage or/and in charge of siblings. She's a minor. The poop would have to wait until my hubby came back. It sounds like it wasn't just going pee pee...it seemed like a long time in the bathroom, which is noticeable. Ever watch youtube? Not only the thieves that hang out at the airport but also predators. No way. This has nothing to do with airport employees, agents, etc. Or crying.

:

Really??? You wouldn't leave your 14 year old alone? I have a 14 year old son and see no issue asking him to watch his 3 year old brother when I have to go to the bathroom in the airport. In 4 short years he will be 18 and in college and I want to make sure he is prepared. If you never allow them to learn how to be in a different situation how will they learn when you are not there. I think you are making a mistake by babying your daughter.

 

[mjkacmom]

My daughter is 14. No way would I leave her anywhere at airport alone with luggage or/and in charge of siblings. She's a minor. The poop would have to wait until my hubby came back. It sounds like it wasn't just going pee pee...it seemed like a long time in the bathroom, which is noticeable. Ever watch youtube? Not only the thieves that hang out at the airport but also predators. No way. This has nothing to do with airport employees, agents, etc. Or crying.

14? Dd16 has been flying alone since the age of 11. Yes, you can be too overprotective. Not letting kids learn the skills they will need to navigate the rest of their lives in order for mom not be made to feel uncomfortable isn't right.

 

[Lionqueen2]

If the children were so close to the restroom, why wouldn't one of the older girls just tell the agent that their mom was in the restroom or open the door and call to you saying there was a problem.

It bothers me that your oldest would speak and give out info to anyone just because they were wearing a uniform. It's perfectly acceptable for a child to say that her mom is in the restroom right there and that she is not allowed to give out information to strangers.

I agree that you had your hands full with 4 children and luggage. Perhaps your husband should have taken the two youngest with him since he was leaving all the luggage with you. Of course, if all 6 of you went to drop off the rental car, it is possible to use a luggage cart to move things around and you would have had your husband with you to help watch the children.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

This is crazy. What if a single mom has a son with her? She can't leave an 11-year-old boy outside the women's room with the suitcases? Totally ridiculous. I'd file a complaint.

 

[FayeW]

Not sure what bothers me more about this thread, that one poster thinks that a call to CPS would be an appropriate course of action, or that another poster thinks a 14 year old is to young to be left unattended. Good grief.

 

[ilovemk76]

I am surprised that you broke down and cried. That is way too much drama for a simple problem. I would have had the two older ones stand outside the restroom with the luggage and take. The 4 year old with me.

 

[mommytoe]

I am known in my neighborhood as being over protective of my children. I put myself in the op's place and I would have done the same thing. At 11 and 10 the older girls should have been fine waiting outside the restroom with the luggage and 4 year old. I mean the mom was on yelling distance if anything happened.

 

[Hrhpd]

If the children were so close to the restroom, why wouldn't one of the older girls just tell the agent that their mom was in the restroom or open the door and call to you saying there was a problem.

It bothers me that your oldest would speak and give out info to anyone just because they were wearing a uniform. It's perfectly acceptable for a child to say that her mom is in the restroom right there and that she is not allowed to give out information to strangers.

I agree that you had your hands full with 4 children and luggage. Perhaps your husband should have taken the two youngest with him since he was leaving all the luggage with you. Of course, if all 6 of you went to drop off the rental car, it is possible to use a luggage cart to move things around and you would have had your husband with you to help watch the children.

That is what I was wondering. If the kids were right outside the restroom, wouldn't it make sense that the oldest would step over and open the door and yell in "Hey Mom, there is a lady here who needs to talk to you." Mom could yell back - "Be right out."

If the girl is old enough to watch her siblings, she should have the common sense to call Mom if somebody needs her. Because you know the first question from the gate agent was "Where are your parents?" They didn't start with asking for the flight information.

And what 11 year old knows the flight information? My kids, even as teens, know where we are going, but probably not the exact time nor any kind of flight info.

I think there is a lot of the story that is missing.

 

[luvmy3]

Not sure what bothers me more about this thread, that one poster thinks that a call to CPS would be an appropriate course of action, or that another poster thinks a 14 year old is to young to be left unattended. Good grief.

I think for me, its the fact that someone in this thread used the word "poopy".

 

[mjkacmom]

If the children were so close to the restroom, why wouldn't one of the older girls just tell the agent that their mom was in the restroom or open the door and call to you saying there was a problem.

It bothers me that your oldest would speak and give out info to anyone just because they were wearing a uniform. It's perfectly acceptable for a child to say that her mom is in the restroom right there and that she is not allowed to give out information to strangers.

I agree that you had your hands full with 4 children and luggage. Perhaps your husband should have taken the two youngest with him since he was leaving all the luggage with you. Of course, if all 6 of you went to drop off the rental car, it is possible to use a luggage cart to move things around and you would have had your husband with you to help watch the children.

The OP stated that her dd told the agents that her mom was in the bathroom. I can't imagine a child NOT giving someone of authority the information they asked (maybe just handed over the boarding pass?).

As someone who has always been dropped off with 5 kids, and 7 pieces of carry-on luggage, several times, and has made it through security with them all every time, without incident, hindsight is 20/20. I'm sure the OP wasn't predicting the accident - if it didn't happen, separating would've been easier than schlepping from the car rental spot to the airport with a bunch of kids and luggage.

 

[indimom]

Eh, even the tears make sense to me.

I would have been stressed under the circumstances. I find airports and travel stressful anyway. Add four kids and a pile of luggage to worry about. A nasty dirty diaper that probably required a change of clothes and a near bathing in a public bathroom. Being forced to leave a few of the kids and the pile of luggage in order to deal with that somewhat lengthy cleanup.

And even knowing that my kids could handle 5-10 minutes sitting outside a bathroom in a public place, I would still have been feeling guilty about leaving them (it's what mom's do best, feel guilty about everything)...

I would have been more than a little stressed at that point. To then walk out of the bathroom and into a stranger who is essentially telling me I'm a sucky mom would probably have been the straw that broke the camels back.

Feel Better, OP. You may even laugh about this someday....