Humiliated at the Reno Airport

[Iforgetmypassword]

OP, your post is a little confusing. You say you moved your kids to the side after bringing the luggage into the airport and sat them down. To me that sounds like they were near the ticket counter and not right outside the bathroom. If that was the case I probably would have taken the 4 yo with me and left the 2 older ones there. I think security probably noticed your little one and that's what set off the alarms.

I really don't know why you got so upset and let this ruin your vacation. You know your kids and what they're capable of.

I agree. She was doing her job and looking out for your kids. Sorry that you felt humiliated and embarrassed, but looking back, I think I'd feel grateful that someone was concerned about the other girls.

Why would you ask your oldest child if you did anything wrong? I didn't put much faith in what my pre-teen kids thought. My husband's opinion matters more to me than what an 11-year old thought.

 

[mefordis]

I'm sorry you felt embarrassed. I'm probably the lone dissenter, but I don't understand why you didn't wait for your husband to return to you before one of you went to change the baby. I would have sent my DH to deal with the poopy mess. The baby was in no danger, so it wasn't that much of a rush to accomplish the change that it was necessary to leave children in an international airport without adult supervision or help. What would the 11-year-old have done if someone had attempted to steal some luggage or if the 4-year-old needed to use the bathroom and insisted that was an emergency?

No. I agree with this. I would have waited for my husband, poopy mess and all. A little poop never killed anyone (that I am aware of).

I don't think an 11 year old has the ability to exercise good judgement in taking care of a 4 yr old in a public setting like a busy international airport.

Four kids is a LOT of kids. You have your plate full. I'm sure if you had spoken with an agent to please keep an eye on your girls while you took care of the mess, they would have done so. They did anyway, as it turns out!

 

[goofyintoronto]

I wouldn't have left my kids. I would have waited for my husband to come back. Anything could have happened in the short time you're in the bathroom.

 

[indygirl99]

What bothers me is she was able to get enough information out of your daughter to get flight information and your husbands phone number to be able to call him and tell him she was concerned that they were alone. Instead of your daughter telling her you were in the bathroom changing her sisters diaper.

This alone speaks to the ability of your daughter to make decisions in an international airport that involves her and her siblings safety. It sounds like your daughter is expected to grow up to fast. 11 is way to young to be responsible for 2 other people and luggage in an international airport.

Where I am from the second call would have been made to security and the third call would have been to child protective services. And yes they would have been very late to school the next morning.

 

[Lilliputian]

It sounds like the SW employee overreacted, and I'm sure that you know your children best and were sure they'd be okay. However, I'd have taken the 4 year old into the bathroom with me. I have 5 children ages 10, 8, 5, 3, and 8 months. I only leave my older ones with the 3 year old if he's buckled in a stroller and I'll only be gone a minute or two, at most. I know 4 can be a lot different than 3, but in an airport, it's just a good idea to keep little ones by your side.

It's hard to think clearly when you're intent on doing one thing (getting on your airplane) and are blindsided by another emergency. When I can't think of a good way to handle things, I ask my oldest children. They aren't usually as frazzled by the situation as I am (since they wouldn't be responsible for getting us on the plane or changing the baby, in this example) and can think more clearly.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

What bothers me is she was able to get enough information out of your daughter to get flight information and your husbands phone number to be able to call him and tell him she was concerned that they were alone. Instead of your daughter telling her you were in the bathroom changing her sisters diaper.

This alone speaks to the ability of your daughter to make decisions in an international airport that involves her and her siblings safety. It sounds like your daughter is expected to grow up to fast. 11 is way to young to be responsible for 2 other people and luggage in an international airport.

Where I am from the second call would have been made to security and the third call would have been to child protective services. And yes they would have been very late to school the next morning.

 

[Baliezer]

What bothers me is she was able to get enough information out of your daughter to get flight information and your husbands phone number to be able to call him and tell him she was concerned that they were alone. Instead of your daughter telling her you were in the bathroom changing her sisters diaper.

My daughter did tell her that. As did my husband when she called him.

 

[disneyfans95]

you cried? why would you cry?

holy stuff batman, stand up for yourself.. Why would you let some ticket agent bully you?

You are not going to get hauled off to some gov't torture chamber because you did the right thing..

Get the big girl panties on and stnad your ground..

Don't cry..

 

[dawnball]

What bothers me is she was able to get enough information out of your daughter to get flight information and your husbands phone number to be able to call him and tell him she was concerned that they were alone. Instead of your daughter telling her you were in the bathroom changing her sisters diaper.

This alone speaks to the ability of your daughter to make decisions in an international airport that involves her and her siblings safety. It sounds like your daughter is expected to grow up to fast. 11 is way to young to be responsible for 2 other people and luggage in an international airport.

Where I am from the second call would have been made to security and the third call would have been to child protective services. And yes they would have been very late to school the next morning.

It's the timeline that gets me. In Reno, the bathrooms aren't really visible from the airline counters. They're down near baggage claim and rental cars. To see that there's a problem, go down and chat up the oldest girl, look up the flight information, call the husband, come all the way back... that's a long time to be in the bathroom.

And neither of the older girls made the decision that one of them ought to go into the bathroom and tell mom that someone was asking questions about where their parents were. I think part of the story is missing here.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I agree. She was doing her job and looking out for your kids. Sorry that you felt humiliated and embarrassed, but looking back, I think I'd feel grateful that someone was concerned about the other girls.

Why would you ask your oldest child if you did anything wrong? I didn't put much faith in what my pre-teen kids thought. My husband's opinion matters more to me than what an 11-year old thought.

OP didn't ask her oldest child if she (OP) did anything wrong. She asked the chiild if they--the 3 girls left with the luggage--had done anything wrong.

OP, I think you are overreacting. The agent was doing her job, especially if they have a problem with children left alone so parents can gamble. also, you don't know for sure if your youngest did something that caught the agent or another employee's eye. I would probably have taken the 4 year old with me and left the older two outside. Though I do agree with a pp that it is worrysome that your dd gave so much information out to the agent.

 

[tasha99]

Personally I would have brought the 4 year old with me and left the two older kids standing right outside the bathroom. But . . . there isn't only one way to change a diaper, and your way was okay if your 11 year old is responsible.

I think the agent over reacted. I would have apologized and thanked the agent for her concern. If that didn't stop her, I'd have asked for her name and let her know I thought she'd crossed the line from being helpful and concerned to being unhelpful to a customer. Don't let people who are providing poor customer service make you cry. They are there to help you, and if they aren't doing a good job of that, it's worth writing a letter or talking with a supervisor, not worth tears.

Someone said a little poop never killed anyone, but I disagree. A little poop has killed lots of people, and I would want to change a leaky diaper ASAP for the sake of elderly people (who might have a weak immune system).

 

[sandramaac]

I am not getting the 'Humiliated' part of this post----feeling this one of those bait and troll threads, especially since it is a 'new' person with a low post count . Been burned on too many DIS threads to believe this one

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would have wanted to change an oozing poopy mess right away as well, and would have trusted kids those ages to wait together until dad arrived or I finished and returned. The airport sounds like it was quiet and obviously there is security there. The security guard could have kept an eye on them if she was concerned, it doesn't sound like interrogating them was necessary. I'm sorry it was so upsetting for you, hopefully your husband de-escalated the situation when he arrived.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I am not getting the 'Humiliated' part of this post----feeling this one of those bait and troll threads, especially since it is a 'new' person with a low post count . Been burned on too many DIS threads to believe this one

391 is a low post count?

And, as a parent, anytime anyone questions your parenting, you feel like you're doing a rotten job. Heck, I question my own parenting style and worry if it's the right way to do things, on occasion. Being in a stressed situation, and being lectured about how you are handling your children can certainly make you feel humilated.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

Normally I'd be concerned that DD had given so
much info to a stranger, but you have to remember that this
was a uniformed airport employee. Other uniformed
airport personnel (TSA, security, flight attendants)
are given so much authority to really mess up
your life or at least your vacation if you misbehave, if OP is anything like me
she's drilled it into her kids that you never argue with
these people. DD probably had the sense that the SW
agent was an official who must be obeyed.

OP, I completely understand how you feel. I would feel
just as sad and humiliated. Try not to let it spoil your memories
of your trip. You didn't do anything wrong. It was
a perfect storm (sick baby at inopportune time,
inconvenient bathroom situation, overreactive agent, the fact that
it was a gambling town where they see kids genuinely
left unattended). I would have done what you
did except perhaps I would have taken DS 4 in the restroom
with me.

I hope you will be able to look back and laugh
someday!

 

[hellow]

you cried? why would you cry?

holy stuff batman, stand up for yourself.. Why would you let some ticket agent bully you?

You are not going to get hauled off to some gov't torture chamber because you did the right thing..

Get the big girl panties on and stnad your ground..

Don't cry..

Oh come on! Sometimes telling someone not to cry is like telling a bear not to &^%$ in the woods. Give her a break! I have two daughters who are very strong women and they saw me cry a lot in stressful situations. It taught them EMPATHY. In this day and age, it is amazing how people are saying they would call CPS about this? All I can say is you should hear the stories I could tell of things I went through and peers went through growing up. This is a non-issue as far as CPS is concerned.

 

[hellow]

I would have wanted to change an oozing poopy mess right away as well, and would have trusted kids those ages to wait together until dad arrived or I finished and returned. The airport sounds like it was quiet and obviously there is security there. The security guard could have kept an eye on them if she was concerned, it doesn't sound like interrogating them was necessary. I'm sorry it was so upsetting for you, hopefully your husband de-escalated the situation when he arrived.

Agreed! I am sure if you walked up to anyone who worked in the airport and they saw poop oozing they would have sent you on your way to the restroom without batting an eye.

 

[Planogirl]

I would let it go. You did nothing wrong and yet it really wasn't awful of the airline employee to make sure that the kids were OK. Don't let some naysayers get to you and again just let it go. It's done and over with.

 

[JessB320]

My daughter did tell her that. As did my husband when she called him.

I don't understand this part. Your first post said your DH had left when you discovered the poopy 2 year old. How did know anything that was happening when the employee called him?

 

[meowmarie]

Where I am from the second call would have been made to security and the third call would have been to child protective services. And yes they would have been very late to school the next morning.

Sure, because CPS has enough employees checking up on the children that are being locked in closets, beaten, and/or not fed by their caregivers that they can send their extras to look after the older children waiting for their mother to get out of the airport bathroom.