My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

[Jennasis]

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

 

[Handbag Lady]

OP, I would be mad, too. You put your time and thoughts and energy into getting a kitchen design YOU want, not one you wanted your MIL to copy.

Maybe now you can hold off and design something else for yourself to be different?

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

Thank you!! I know it's not world ending, but I thought we were allowed an every now and then. I guess some people just feel the need to be rude... THANK you to everyone who has "listened" to me and understood.

 

[disykat]

Sometimes people like to have something unique, special etc. Nothing wrong with that. And just because it wouldn't bother one person doesn't mean it shouldn't bother someone else, particularly when you don't know their family dynamic.

Someone asked "who cares?"...The OP does.

I think people are being terribly rude to the OP. It's one thing to say it wouldn't bother you, but downright mean to keep insisting that there's something wrong with the OP for feeling like she does.

Personally, I flat out don't believe the people who insist they wouldn't care if it the exact same situation happened to them. Until they've been in those shoes, how would they know how it felt?

 

[superme80]

I would be very upset. If I had saved for years to do what I really wanted and then have someone copy it... If I like something of my friends I ask before I copy. Most don't care and are flattered I would ask. I would not want to offend someone by taking their design and trying to pass it off as my own.

 

[donnajon]

I think those of you who say OP should be flattered are missing the point. If MIL truly liked her style and wasn't trying to upstage her, she would have told her that she liked what she pick out and asked if she minded if she did the same thing.

To the OP, it might be fun to see MIL's finished work and state, "Oh, I'm glad you did it first and love it but now that I see it completed, I don't really like the way those go together."

 

[mrsklamc]

I kind of get it, I'd be irritated for a bit but then let it go...like when my sister's third wedding was about a year after mine and low and behold not only does she choose our color scheme, I open the invitation to find it's the same one.

For those that don't understand, I'm guessing MIL has the mindset of my mother- who wore white to my wedding.

 

[LiveYourLife]

I think people are being terribly rude to the OP. It's one thing to say it wouldn't bother you, but downright mean to keep insisting that there's something wrong with the OP for feeling like she does.

Personally, I flat out don't believe the people who insist they wouldn't care if it the exact same situation happened to them. Until they've been in those shoes, how would they know how it felt?

With the exception of the "who cares" poster, I don't think telling the OP to be flattered by the MIL copying/imitating/stealing her kitchen design are being rude or mean. I think they're just trying to put the situation into a different perspective for the OP. I've been in this situation, and did it wind me up? No, because a situation like this would not bother me. Do I think there is something wrong with the OP for feeling the way she does? Absolutely, not. There may be a situation that winds me up to the point of the flaming angry face, but may not wind the OP up, and that's ok too. We all have different buttons.

OP, I would let MIL style bite your design concept to her hearts content and come up with a new design for your kitchen, there's one out there for you, I promise. Moving forward, don't tell your MIL anything if this is her standard mode of operation.

 

[MIGrandma]

That wouldn't bother me at all, in fact I would consider it a compliment.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Thanks for all of the posts! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who would be irritated by this. It's a new day, I'm not nearly as as I was at first... and like a lot of you have said, it is in relation to the dynamic of our relationship... I wouldn't care a bit if I posted my kitchen on here and one of you did the same things. But I expect family to treat each other better than that. I'd have been happy to help her with her kitchen if she had asked, even in similiar colors.

To those people who are saying things like "who cares" - If you can't say something nice.... But seriously, I guess if you need to be rude on message boards, maybe you need some happiness in your life, so to you.

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

With the exception of the "who cares" poster, I don't think telling the OP to be flattered by the MIL copying/imitating/stealing her kitchen design are being rude or mean. I think they're just trying to put the situation into a different perspective for the OP. I've been in this situation, and did it wind me up? No, because a situation like this would not bother me. Do I think there is something wrong with the OP for feeling the way she does? Absolutely, not. There may be a situation that winds me up to the point of the flaming angry face, but may not wind the OP up, and that's ok too. We all have different buttons.

OP, I would let MIL style bite your design concept to her hearts content and come up with a new design for your kitchen, there's one out there for you, I promise. Moving forward, don't tell your MIL anything if this is her standard mode of operation.

I agree with your sentiment... only a couple of people were "rude" - the first thing DH said to me was to be flattered. I get that. And I appreciate different perspectives... that is one reason I posted here.

 

[luvmy3]

Just curious what the colors you choose were. Were they something truly unique that nobody has, or were they colors that are pretty standard in decorating kitchens?

 

[LiveYourLife]

Thanks for all of the posts! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who would be irritated by this. It's a new day, I'm not nearly as as I was at first... and like a lot of you have said, it is in relation to the dynamic of our relationship... I wouldn't care a bit if I posted my kitchen on here and one of you did the same things. But I expect family to treat each other better than that. I'd have been happy to help her with her kitchen if she had asked, even in similiar colors.

To those people who are saying things like "who cares" - If you can't say something nice.... But seriously, I guess if you need to be rude on message boards, maybe you need some happiness in your life, so to you.

Glad to hear that your not so irritated today, OP. I'm like that too, some times I just need to word vomit my frustrations and then I feel better and can focus on what my plan is going to be. Like I said in my post you have every reason to feel the way you do. If you decide to start a whole new design concept for your kitchen, have fun with it and be sure to update us on how it turns out!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just curious what the colors you choose were. Were they something truly unique that nobody has, or were they colors that are pretty standard in decorating kitchens?

I hate to say it, but the curiosity was getting the better of me, too.
I was wondering what they OP had been picking out!

Since her MIL seems to have already stolen her ideas, and I am assuming that she doesn't know anyone else here personally, I wonder if she might tell us, or post some online photos!

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

I will definitely post photos when I am done, although in this moment I don't know what I am going with. I am reconsidering now. What I chose was shades of gray, with accents. Completely original, never been done before? No, for sure not. But what I liked. MIL's taste has always been more colorful... bright blues and such. So not in her line of style. But whether it was her taste or not, I thought buying my backsplash before I did was pretty - but I'm having fun reconsidering now.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

To bad you can't tell her you saw it in a book somewhere as the most overdone color scheme thanks to 50 Shades of Grey or some other fib to get her to change her mind.

 

[luvmy3]

I will definitely post photos when I am done, although in this moment I don't know what I am going with. I am reconsidering now. What I chose was shades of gray, with accents. Completely original, never been done before? No, for sure not. But what I liked. MIL's taste has always been more colorful... bright blues and such. So not in her line of style. But whether it was her taste or not, I thought buying my backsplash before I did was pretty - but I'm having fun reconsidering now.

I only asked because if it was something that wasn't out there, the next time you decide to re-decorate a room you should tell your MIL that you are doing something new and exciting. Tell her the most hideous color combos and stuff and see if she does it again, or hope that she does it again

I agree about the backsplash. Grey is very in right now (I'm painting my cabinets grey this spring) but the fact that she got the exact backsplash is just weird. You could tell her you decided to go with something else because you read that that particular backsplash was known to release toxic fumes and you didn't want to take the chance... Have a little fun with her

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

My neighbor across the street does that type of stuff too.

Their cousin lives 3 doors down and were in this neighborhood first. My DD is friends with their DD.

So - first the neighbor saw a house for sale in this neighborhood and bought it. Same layout as their cousins.
Then their cousin bought a new car, neighbor bought the exact new car too same color and all.

Cousin redid bathrooms - neighbor across street redid their bathrooms - same granite, tile and colors according to DD's friend.

The latest is cousin is currently removing carpet in their house and putting in hardwood floors.
Today a hardwood floor installer is at the neighbors, I guess giving a quote or something.
Should be interesting to see if they do the same thing as their cousin.

I'd be annoyed if anyone did that to me.

 

[MickeySP]

Instead of being horrified, you could consider it a compliment.

This! It's not like she is wearing the same dress to a function. When are the same people gonna be in your kitchen the her's. I am betting other than family who already know her "ways" noone.


Don't sweat the small stuff

 

[pixiewings71]

I get it OP, we had a major house fire about 7 years ago, we had to completely redo our interior and much of the exterior as well. We picked a nice light blue/grey color scheme for the exterior and I'm not kidding, within 6 months 2 of our neighbors had the SAME paint scheme on their houses. LOL Yes, I was annoyed. LOL We also upgraded to better cabinets, Travertine flooring, granite counters and again, within about the same time frame a few of our neighbors had also upgraded. lol I was more annoyed about the paint then anything else though, I mean I can't tell my friends, "it's the blue house" because now there are 3 the EXACT same colors of blue. LOL I asked DBF, "do you think they took pictures of our house and took them into Home Depot to match the paint?" LOL We joke about it now but I still understand where you're coming from.
I'd be very annoyed if DBF's Mom started trying to copy my style.....lol Oh and I want to say that we live on a very short street, it's sort of like a small circle, we have about 20 houses down our street......lol